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How Do You Keep Romance In A Relationship?

OK, I am kind of new here, just begin to post. So here is a new topic. Let's have some fun with it. OK?

Ladies/gentlemen you remember when you first met your boyfriend or hubbies, yeah. Well, that look he gave you, or when he was near did things to you. Your body went crazy with yearning. So tell me what do you do to keep the home fire burning?

Well, I would always do things kind of unsuspecting like once he came home. I got him to set on couch in front of red lite candles and champagne, I purchased light bulbs of red in color, so room was beautifully light. I excused myself and slipped on this stunning nightie it was red lace. ( few years back much younger, LOL) I turned on music, I chose earlier and turned on the house speakers came out lip syncing and dancing for him.

He laughed all through and I couldn't finish my act because I started laughing too. Than we drank champagne and I asked him to dance for me. LOL, he did in Unclad. Anyway, that SOB left. Too bad, for him because after he got out there and saw theres no place like home. He tried to come back. But I have retired my act for now.

So, what do you do to keep it burning?

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27 answers

To be responsible to ur duty is bin romantic, of wat use is a who sends me flowers nd kiss bt cnt manage er home.

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My question is WHAT IS ROMANCE ITSELF? Dat word is relative, ma view of romance is different frm urs nd vice versa. Bt for me romance is all about sacrifices. I may nt b able to kiss u public bt i can cook any meal for you, u can travel wit kids in ma care for weeks nd i can do anytin legal to make ends meet for ma family, nw u tell me am nt romantic cos i dnt do eateries? Pls , ladies dnt knw wat dey want.

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TO KEEP ROMANCE IN A RELATIONSHIP, DO NOT BE SELFISH WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, AVOID NAGGING OR REPEATED COMPLAINTS, APPRECITAE THE OTHER PARTY, SAY THANK YOU FOR SEEMINGLY LITTLE KINDNESS, SAY "I LOVE U" AND TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EACH OTHER. U CAN VISIT ROMANCE GISTS FOR MORE USEFUL INFORMATION LIKE THIS

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the guy should buy her present everyday

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we can keep romance in relationship by appreciating each other.we should try to compliment each other this usually help alot

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Darkmanzero, i really enjoy your articles on this topic. Nevertheless, we still need romance in a relationship to make each other feel important and value. I'm very impress with your word.

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@poster!!! just keep doing what you do best and you will see how the love will grow.

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@ luvchild(poster) i think ur problem is dat you fantasies alot.

my advice to you is, instead of being an imaginary image in ur imagination

try to pactice wat u imagine and see ur relationship move from worst to better.

to the females:

try to make ur relationship or marriage lively.

listen

i have alot of brothers and boyfriends, they all complain about same thing,

the gal is too stiff

she don't have a god sense of humour

she don't know how to play or gist

she can't initiate a topic, she keeps quite in front of ma friends

her laugh is too fake

she ain't real( she prefer to follow the usual girly protocol)

she don't encourage or compliment me

she is wack

she thinks dressing like ini edo will make me love her more

she prefers to watch "aki na ukwa" whenever she comes over to my place(instead of us talking about the previous beef we had)

she keeps alot of female friends(unhealthy ones)

she gossips alot with her female friends

she get jealous when she see her galfriend recieving a gift from her lover while i refuse to buy a gift for her (meanwhile, i was saving it for her handout)

she eats too much

she don't exercise,even though she is fat (whenever i tell her, she make a big deal out of it)

she blah blah blah,

my point is

you dont even know wat a relationship is all about not to talk of sustaining it.

i am so not saying u should be a slave to guys but to know how to keep a healthy and real relationship

because this tiny things make up ROMANCE

pls, lets pick up the good characters and trow the bad ones out

to the males:

bros

we are females, gals, women, mothers.

we begat u

u ought to know a womans worth (alicia keys told u so)

didn't ur mum taught u how to giv a woman attention? (kelly rowland ask u so)

hey dudes!

u guys go on and on saying "i'm not a player, i' just looking for the right one"

listen

if she is not the right one

leave her alone (dont be selfish)

do not rough handle her

let the love flow

let the romance show

let the younger ones know and learn wat true love really means.

How Do You Keep Romance In A Relationship?

try new things

play

gist

have fun

remove sex out of the picture

AGAPE LOVE, yes dats it agape

buy flowers, cards, drop notes.

guys cook for ur gal

help her to loose her braids

go to the market with her or for her. etc

there are alot to mention.

to be continue

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learn to say sorry when you hurt him or her. learn to appreciate him or her. learn to show and be proud of what you have even in public. i tell you the relationship will go a long way, alone death can keep both of you apart.

cheers.

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if u r enjoying yourself then have fun!

just ask yourself at whose expense your enjoyment comes

beware the vengeful child, when he's all grown up and you are old and frail.

the institution of marriage has but one purpose: to esptablish the family as the unit of civilisation.

NOT to allow you have an eternity of romance.

rise up to your responsibilities and leave the lovey dovey stuff for us bachelors!

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Men, there are really some funny posts here. Cldn't help but laugh wit tears running down my cheeks. Still laughing,

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Men dakmanzero, i believ say some chick done vex you before or you have had series of failed marraiges but let me say you are so tactless about describing a nigeria couple. Some of us are actually enjoying the fun in being loved and loving in return.

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Ladies, Hey! If Darkmanzero is a man, listen to him. Not because he is a saint, probably because he thinks the way an average Nigerian (or any other out there for that matter) man thinks and I think he deserves the kudos for being bold and honest about his opinions. Quite matured too!!! If he is not married, I can recommend a babe for him! If he is, let him be celebrated by the menfolks, i beta be careful, Nigeria guys don't like comparism.

Anyway, the thing is, (all) women sometimes want this luvy duvvy thingy to go on forever. Well, some guys out there knows how to endlessly and if you are lucky, you can find them or already got them, some  guys you have to teach them, some you have to love them the way they are, we call them the NON-ODAs (Open Display of Affection)  trust me, no dragon can make a NON-ODA hold your hands in public and yet in his heart, he is just who you want him to be!!! Forget all the macho thing! Every man (and woman) wants to be loved but like Darkmanzero ealier pointed out, what happens when your relationship is at a plateau stage (And it does and will get to that stage trust me!!!) what then is there to hold on to but the depth of your personalities? When you love a man with your heart and can talk to him about anything and everything, you can be a support and not a whimp, when you are self confident and don't use him as a cructh, then you don't have to keep the 'romance' alive with sex. And before you shoot me, sex indeed is wonderful and when the partners know what to do with each other's body, then its bliss. But honestly, what do the two of you do with your grey matter? I have heard of a case a guy left the babe because the only thing she knows how to do is have sex! He was looking out for the inovative part of the woman and found none! Thats a shame for womanhood. Ladies, balance your personalities. Be the bxxxch in the bedroom and the boss in the boardroom; in between, find your common place of making the romance thingy work for you (just sharing a joke that only the 2 of you understand might be it!!!!), otherwise, say the Serenity prayer and love your man jo!

Be happy out there!

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No need to hope anymore, dearie, it has survived already and they are in happy retirement enjoying the fruits of their labour!

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i can see that we both have different believes on marriage i hope for your sake the marriage survives.

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*shrug* well, different points of view.

Just like you my position is influenced by what I learnt from my parents, and my extended family. My dad never got another wife, never had any problems, simply because he is a very serious guy, and my mum is similarly serious. If my dad starts to joke around about such things my mum just shakes her head and says 'o serious' to him ("you are not serious" in Yoruba) before going back to whatever she was talking about before.

They have been succesful because of this, leading to much envy. My extended family by contrast is rife with scandal and debauchery. I'lll end it there- no need to wash dirty linen in public- but guess where we have more 'my wife is my darling' nonsense, kissing in public, and other such irresponsible goings-on.

I learned to respect women (in fact, a little too much) by the image of strength and focus my mother projected in the household, even long after the 'my mummy is the world' phase ended. The fickleness and emptyheadedness of the majority of females I was to encounter later in life amazed me to no end, it no longer does, anyway.

and ps: if you change 'mess' to fxxk , seun's program wont change it. It chaged it cs i was too silly to remember not to spell it f-u-c-k

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Love, definitely. Not the silly romantic love of premarital relationships, nor the lusty love of steamy affairs. Something closer to the healthy bond between natural partners. A fondness that binds on a level much deeper than animalistic thrashing around. The kind of love that keeps a paraplegic impotent husband together with his wife.

Sex,  a means to an end. A method for creation of children and the relieving of stress and tension- not THE PILLAR OF MARRIAGE as so many seem to believe. You cannot remain devoted to someone whose primary attractionj to you is sexual- it is impossible. She *will lose that appeal* and the human body, in particular that of males, craves a variety that cannot be satisfied by some chick reading kinky books and watching dirty videos.

Obviously I view marriage as a serious thing that is not meant to be trivialised into some ridiculous extension of premarital romance. Romance is an exciting, mysterious thing we young people do to discover new potential mates. When the smoke clears and you see the woman for who she really is- now *that* is preparing for something that will last. Trying to artificially extend something that is naturally short lived by repeating 'ai lofu yuu' ad nauseam into a mobile phone like some sort of slowpoke just makes you look desperate and without focus.

PS coco can u help me edit my quote in your post? nairaland changed the word 'fx*k' to 'mess'!

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Kai. see us o

Naija. the land of failed marriages, irresponsible parents and wayward offspring.

I hope you people know that a relationship fuelled by romance will lead to POLYGAMY

yes, all u women talking about visiting dirty stores and having kinky sex with ya husband, understand that you are fuelling his desire for something that you willl BIOLOGICALLY be unable to provide for him in a short while.  Then he will just marry a nice fresh young          and FORC[/b]E you to do what you should have been doing from the start,  concentrating on your [b]kids and old age.

Anyway ignore my words- iots your loss. No be naija we dey. polygamy is legal. just don't come crying to me when miss Darego shows up to put sansan in your garrium and make all your 'romantic' advances look childish and silly.

oh, and coco, I *don't* need a f*xk. Not now, anyway,  and I don't 'need' one for long. You should say I get too much of it if I can look at it so cynically. In fact it is a bad habit I will have to drop before commiting to a partner! At least I recognise there's a problem,

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leave lil notes on the refrigerator

call ur sig other at work for no reason but to say u jus wanna hear their voice

dedicate one night a week or 2 for hot kinky sex, heck visit a adult store

get one of those couples coupon book, good stuff

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@dakmanzero

u dey vex ooo. your wife vex you. i think what lunafish and coco said should do the trick for young lovers. for married couples, i think there is more to marriage dan sex and stuff especially in naija where the romance dies as soon as the wife don born 4 pikins and counting.

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All that cuddlycuddly stuff will eventually make your man wake up one day (in a cold sweat) and ask himself 'what the hell am I doing here?!!'

I cant imagine listening to 'I love you' everyday from someone who's supposed to be my life partner. Oh, its fine right now when we're young and fresh (and free) and makes us feel happy that we are remembered and favoured,  but after marriage it is just a mindless ritual- a refusal to grow up out of the courtship stage.

wake up people. trying to fool yourselves that courtship continues after marriage is the biggest trap of the modern age. African woman: Drop two engine see whether or not you go resemble[b] basketball[/b] unless you starve yourself to the point where you are so weak and fragile as to be completely useless. If we didn't love each other we wouldn't be married so why all the unnecesary rubbish? If my wife keeps asking me to tell her I love her every day I will wonder who has been feeding poison into her ears behind my back. Like saying 'the sky is blue' ad nauseam.

puhlease.

Marriage is far more serious than having some broad or stud to bang every night. It is the foundation upon which you will build your old age especially in Naija where old people are left to rot and die. If you don't construct a powerful fortress of a family including responsible children, sizeable property and a sound legacy you will suffer and die a miserable lonely death. As soon as you get married you should be prepared to work hard to secure your old age.

spontaneous sex? what rubbish. As if your husband will continue to be turned on by your motherly bodily particles. It is dangerous for a man to refuse to supress his sex drive after marriage because his wife will not and can never satisfy it. Forget all the silly romance and leave it for the kids. Once you marry devote yourself to defending and protecting your partner and offspring by any means neccesary. As long as that is your focus, you will not stray.

Not any fake-Bottom candlelit dinners. For gods sakes we invented lightbulbs for a reason. If you burn down the whole of surulere because u thought 10th century technology was neccesary for 'romance' you will be the one to blame for your misfortune

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@lunafish

A guy who knows how to make a girl happy will probably go along with what you suggest but I swear to God who made me no human male alive will enjoy the activities you mention, it is a sacrifice along the lines of you dressing up in a wet arsenal T-shirt and going to play mascot bunny girl at a drunken soccer night out with his homies (not that anyone would be mad enough to suggest this to his girl)

When guys do such things they are sacrifices. Personally I believe that such romantic jigbijigbi should be the sole domain of premarital courtship. Once you marry, get down to the serious business of building a family and securing your future. You should both be so busy you don't have time for such puerile nonsense.

The woman I marry will have to complement me on a conscious, practical level. We should be like a team that is indomitable together and useless seperated. That in itself is stronger at holding together a relationship than any senseless 'romance'. A strong woman that is able to act as a partner and not a whimpering, whiny liability. Able to act autonomously and seamlessly assume or relinquish responsibilities as the situation demands. Able to communicate and plan effectively, whose weaknesses I can make up for, whose mind I understand instantly. We should be more friends than lovers after marriage, because we all know what lasts longer.

I assure you, a focused man/woman team is not only unstoppable, both partners have no time to fool around. Why go wax my drumstick and risk the loss of something that is not easy to build. Sex is overrated- nowadays people act as if it is the be-and end-all of life- what rubbish. There are people that go through life without ever having sex- its not like you'll die of starvation.

Its called responsibility people. Its like how we no longer play with barbie dolls and transformers. When you get married you should either outgrow all this romance nonsense or spend an eternity lining the pockets of marriage counsellors and PEOPLE newsrags while raising a household of useless spoilt monsters that will utterly destroy you in your old age.

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Belive, my ex had all the above and more. I truly believe that at certain times in our lives our men experience mid life crisis, which will be my next post. Anyway, he began to go through a stressful period, I called it midlife crisis, he denied it. I saw him turn into a completely different person before my eyes, all the good peaches and cream in the world wouldn't have helped.

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Romance is the key word.

When we're being romantic, we're making someone feel special and showing that we appreciate them, showing them that they're loved.

Sometimes it's the romantic, non-sexual side of the relationship that keeps it new.

Go on dates - even especially if you're married. Go out to dinner/go to a jazz concert/go dancing (actual dancing not booty shaking)

Or stay inside and listen to good soulful love music. Eat a nice meal-candlelight. Give a massage to and compliment the one you're with.

Remember why you love that person and let that inspire you to do something nice for them. As long as you both reciprocate- that should keep romance in the relationship.

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I pay particular attention to the word 'pretend'

Anything founded upon lies is destined to collapse sooner rather than later.

If a relationship cannot survive 'conversion' then it deserves to end.

conversion is when the 'be my girl/boyfriend' stage ends and the 'ok, so were together now' phase begins. You shouldnt TRY to preserve it. If it doesnt survive the death of the 'flame' (which was just a load of raging hormones by the way) then the relationship deserves to die NOW before u go marry yasefs and born pikin and condemn yasefs to a life of misery.

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Notice how as soon as that person is claimed to be your bf or gf or you get comfy with them, people stop doing the things they did to get with the person, pretend as if you're still tryna get with the person, it'll keep things fresh.

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Just keep doing new stuffs, to keep the fire burning, experiment and just have fun while doing it. DOn't go over-board trying to impress.

Uhmm, i guess that's about it for now. You know, doing crazy stuffs, like sticking a post-it, on his car, or his house door, or just calling in d middle of the night to say i love you, going to dinners, and sitting home watching movies, over and over again, driving round town, etc.

Okay, these might sound childish, but at least it works!

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