«Home

How Do You Overcome Temptation?

I am married to a wonderful lady. We have two lovely kids and by God's grace we lack nothing. However my wife had to go outside the country to further her studies. She took our last son with her on the trip and I sent my older daughter to my mum because of my busy schedule.

That is where the problem is. I am currently living with a househelp alone in our house and all of a sudden the girl has become very beautiful in my eyes. Not that she was not but it seems I cant resist her now.

I have managed to overcome the temptation up till now but I don't know for how long. As if she has noticed it, she keeps exposing herself in a very indecent ways and I want to send her away till my wife returns.

Will that help? My fear is that the sex 'appetite' is still there and I might take it outside; something which I dread so much.

I am not looking for insults please. I want genuine and clever advise. This is no joke, my future depends on this. How do I overcome this urge?

Avatar
Newbie
69 answers

I dont get tempted easily because i have fashioned out easy ways to avoid temptation. If i get tempted, i dont like being a slave to temptation, i fall for it because i have to releive myself of the stress.its not something that happens frequently.

My candid advice: send ur housemaid packing, get a mistress outside. Sending her packing without getting an alternative will not take ur mind off her. If u think ur woman will appreciate it if she knows u remain faithful while she was away,u are deceiving urself.women dont apreciate things. They aprct lies more.just play ur game outside wella and keep ur family together. My $1Million advice!

0
Avatar
Newbie

have and put your total focus on Jesus Christ.

Believe that you have the power to overcome every temptation that come on your way.

when tempted, always say to your self "i am a child of God, i cannot do this to offend God.

learn to quote the bible.

always ask for the grace of God, because you can't do this alone.

http://christly-minded.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-to-overcome-temptations.html?showComment=1350921866394#c8425165222960687143

0
Avatar
Newbie

Mr man, I can understand the situation you are feeling.The mere fact that you are already admiring her(house-help) means that more things may happen.For your wife's sake and yours, i would suggest that you find a very serious hobby that takes your mind off her, or you could send her to her mothers house.

0
Avatar
Newbie

since you have the ability to say it here i think you have already overcame the temptation, it is better for you to do it outside than with your househelp, that is just what i think

0
Avatar
Newbie

my brother pray to God the over comer of all temptation. A proverb says heaven help those who help themselfs. in order 4 God to help u, u have to call her and sit her down. tell her to change her mode of dressing, explain to her that u don't like it and i bet u she will stop doing it. but, if she refuse 4 God to help u, u have to send her away for the sake of ur wife and children. pls, yeild to this warning. as u do this, u will never fall into temptation

0
Avatar
Newbie

UNCENSORED!

Poster i'll advice u to eat the FORBIDDEN fruit and make urself a name by becoming the 21st century "ADAM".

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ol boy Nairaland posters impressed me with their answers ohhh. 95% of the answers were in point. @poster They say a word is enough for the wise so send your maid packing!!!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Sending her away won't solve your problem but it may keep out from trouble. Your problem is, how do you get off the excess blood in the nerve? The safest and saddest  is jerking off, the easiest and riskiest is playing out, the happiest and troublesome is using your house help and the best is visiting your wife.

0
Avatar
Newbie

prayer and determination good luck

0
Avatar
Newbie

this is not a joking matter if you know you dont want to put your self in to trouble send her away for the sake of your life not for the sake of your wife, pls you dont need to doubt these, action plsssssssssssssssssssssss

0
Avatar
Newbie

^^^^^^^^^^^

see suspence ooooo, say it jo,

0
Avatar
Newbie

i am his lawyer n am making the request on his behalf

0
Avatar
Newbie

in all this, na ur wife i pity, cos i know say u go dent am when u travel go meet am, no classes for her that period, omo sha use condom if not na 8 pikins she go give birth to at once

0
Avatar
Newbie

I overcome temptation by being focused. I know what i want and i don't relent till i'm fulfilled with it but if anything tries to 'exalt itself against my focus' often called [b]dis[/b]traction (an attraction that's negative therby disrespecting ur focus which is ur genuine attraction), I cast it out! just like bible says if ur right/left hand will lead u to sin, cut it off!

0
Avatar
Newbie

, and if you have done the act, and you are here just to tell us rooster and bull story, 'Yoruba, Yoruba, knowing what you have done, remember God sees your mind.

'cos i know you know what is right. What is right is clear, and what is wrong is also clear, there is no confusion here. Bros!

Heart of man is desperately wicked.

Au revoir

0
Avatar
Newbie

You overcome temption through, prayers, fasting and self discipline

If you have not done the act, then send her packing immediately.

0
Avatar
Newbie

you are not confused at all. your 3rd leg is confuse. hw do u help your 3rd leg.

drive the house girl out of the house

spend more time in the church.

read your bible always.

b4 you know it, your think for of God than evil.

its a thing of the mind. good luck

0
Avatar
Newbie

You don't need to pray for you to take the right decision. pray is not required now ,what is required is action

there is no apology to your wife if you send away because your are doing the right thing.

My brother just send her away.

SEND THAT MARRIAGE DESTROYER AWAY NOW, DON'T DULL YOURSELF.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Poster: no matter how 'good' the 'advice' from Nairalanders gets, the more absent your wife is from you, the deeper your need for sexual gratification. You obviusli didnot take take into cognisance the fact that her absence would make you this stiff in so short a period(no pun intended). well whether or not you send the house girl away is irrelevant, because immediately u step out your house, there are so many beautiful women out there that make me wonder how long you can hold on(if indeed you have). You are in dire straits man, and i just discovered a new word online; aphallatosis, and from the way you are goin, thats gonna be your story.

0
Avatar
Newbie

GO VISIT YOUR WIFE IMMEDIATELY, AND MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO JOIN HER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

You are a good man.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster

You've been well advised but, have u bothered to ask your wife how she copes with similar urge ? Abi  she be Van Damme ?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Women tend to be a lot more in control of their sexual urge even in the face of temptation. They have a lot more at stake than men.

0
Avatar
Newbie

U knw wat,even if u chase her away remember when u hv d urge it is stil there,might still go outside to look for,why not think of hw beautiful ur wife is and also ur kids,or why not visit ur wife.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Poster, i'd say send the girl away now (not to your mother). Since you have thought of having sex with her, it'll most likely continue even when your wife comes back.

I amazed that a woman would leave her husband with a matured female househelp alone in the house and travel abroad.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The bible says confess your faults one to another. Its a good thing that the guy did it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I really appreciate most comments made here to save the marriage of the poster. It is easier said than done. This is flesh and blood, and one is bound to face challenges (temptations). All we need is GRACE. Even men of God are not exempted from this. ONLY GRACE.

Definitely, i join the band of those saying ''send her away with immediate effect''. If you escape the temptations at the office, shop, site, etc, it might be difficult to escape at home cos the two of you are alone and will continue to be alone for at least 12 months of your wife's study abroad. You might see her sleeping carelessly or even coming out of the bathroom; she might purposefully (and temptingly) cross your path (serving you food in skimpy clothing, transparent night gowns etc) and other devices the devil may use. But just as some said, get a friend or better still your younger brother to stay with you to assist with house chores till madam comes back.

Remember God understands the human body chemistry He created that is why He said ''FLEE''. Now you have spoken, victory is on your path. Somebody reading this might be concealing his own act with his wife's friend or sister. Desist from this NOW and save your home.

Once again ask God for GRACE. May God help us all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hi poster,

Sorry to say that your wife should have sorted this out before she left.

Im not aware that Nigerian women leave house maids alone with their husbands when they travel.

Also, you should have sent the girl along with ur child 2 ur mama's.

I suggest that you do not wait one more minute before you send the girl away.

Even when your wife comes back, she should not return as a seed as been sown in her already, which she will continue to nurse.

What if your wife returns to the country and had to go out early one saturday morning, you will still be alone with her in the house at some points in time.

Be wise! Send her away YESTERDAY!!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Give the help a break but frankly,the answer is in ur hands.would u be able to take ur eyes off other ladies u meet during ur day to day runnings

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster,

in as much as i'm doubting this your story, i'm tempted to ask you what kind of a wife will leave her housemaid for the husband and travel out? If she did that, then there is no problem go on and devour what you have before you. You can't tell me you can be in the middle of the sea and can't find water to drink. I really like your wife she's very understanding after all she's the one that left the housemaid as a spare. Only God knows what she's doing over there with her own 'house boy'. Just go on and enjoy yourself before it is too late

0
Avatar
Newbie

3 things u shud do

1)Grab ur bible and pray ( remember Jesus Christ resisted the devil himself)

2)Send her packing with immediate effect

3)wait till ur wifes gets home but if you really need a housemaid ,look for a God fearing person (even tho its a houseboy)

Be careful, some housemaids have a goal : destroyin' ones marriage

Stay blessed

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Poster

This temptation is everywhere!!

In your office(Department/Unit), eating at canteen in your office, going down the floors, inside the lift. In the banking hall, in the church, even during bible study, but the worst is when is at home.

If it happens in the office, or church. At the end of the day, I will leave those places and go home, but when it happens at home, where will I go.

If the girl in my department sitting opposite me decide to open her leg, i can either decide to look or become busy with my system.

If the Teller in the banking hall decide to show me her bosom, I will also choose to look or start filling another deposit slip.

If at home when i have defeated all the temptation in the office and other public places, my house maid decide to tempt me, i have only one choice, remind her what she is. HOUSE MAID.

The problem most of us have is not having an acceptable limit, anything goes. If you decide what is acceptable to you, then some of this will not happen.

It is not easy being alone. It take God Grace and A LOT OF DISCIPLINE. Mind you many so called pastors are falling everyday. The so call brother and sisters in the Lord do worst things.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Whatchout man, the house gurl's act might be a set up from madam, who know's?. . .becareful!

0
Avatar
Newbie

THE 5TH EPISTLE OF DAVID~

0
Avatar
Newbie

please the poster, i dont know how serious you are in this topic, but all i can assume is to respect yourself and control yourself because it is not a must that you should touch the girl, when you send your older daughter away to your mother why not send her along with the girl, beacuse any attempt will result for u to lose ur family and more especially the son.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Akwasi,

JESUS SAID THAT IF YOUR EYES CAUSES YOU TO SIN, CUT IT OFF BECAUSE ITS BETTER FOR YOU TO ENTER INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN WITHOUT EYES THAN TO GO TO HELL WITH BOTH YOUR EYES. WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE EXTREME MEASURES. IF THE GIRL IS GOING TO CAUSE YOU TO SIN AGAINST YOUR WIFE, THEN SHE MUST GO. YOU DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO HER AFTERALL, YOU ARE HER BOSS. SINCE THERE IS NOBODY LEFT AT HOME, YOU DON'T NEED HER SERVICES ANY LONGER. ALSO, PRAY A LOTTTTTTTT!

DON'T LISTEN TO ALL THIS PEOPLE TALKING NONSENSE ABOUT IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE, THEN YOU WOULDN'T CHEAT. THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES THE GRACE OF GOD NOT TO CHEAT AND THAT WE ALL HAVE WEAKNESSES DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE DON'T ADMIT IT.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The closer ur r to the WORD OF GOD, THE FARTHER UR FROM SIN, AND, THE CLOSER UR TO SIN THE FARTHER IT DRAWS U FROM THE WORD OF GOD, sendin r packin aint the the final solution, PRAYER IS THE SOLUTION,

0
Avatar
Newbie

If you truly love your wife and even Rihanna is your housegirl, you can remain faithful to your wife.

Anyway, even if you send your housegirl away, your long thing will still lead you astray in lust of the flesh.

As advised earlier, HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH IN GOD.

For our faith is our strength.

Call your wife daily and give no room to another woman.

SELF CONTROL 24/7.

0
Avatar
Newbie

where is mama-gee contribution? Poster , you know the right to do if want to remain faithful to your wife.I hope the story is true.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Sending her away would only solve 10% of the urge infact it might end up increasing the intensity because you would further discover that there is nobody home both madam and house girl; might be tempted to bring them [one night stand] at home.

Solution:

get more involved in-doors sports, visit your good friends, if possible, you can invite a male single friend (christian) to stay with you for some time.

However try not to stay idle; trust me it worth waiting for madam till she comes back, it's just a little opporunity to test your faith, please don't mess up your lovely family as you may end up inviting odd spirits and curses.

Tell 2nd wannabe madam to join your mother, i don't want blame her 100% coz she might be tempted to betray her madam as well though you didn't tell us whether she was behaving like that before madam left.

She's only human and what do you expect when you have adam and eve inside a comfortable home.

Don't forget that madam will one-day come back and probably she has her friends as spys, who knows?

0
Avatar
Newbie

well, thank God for the reponse from fellow nairalandites because they have spoke thier mind to the matter on ground, and also tahnk God for your life for you disclosing the issue on board. I dont know whether u are a christian or a muslim but nevertheless i am not discreminating any religion, so am taking it from the christianity angle, and starting from the bible, in the book of Eph and Gal. which talk more on marriage, i think if u understand the scripture very well, u will know how to flew from it. Secondly, looking at it from a man perspective, a fellow forumites says if u are working with some beautiful personnel in ur office, will ask the CEO to sack the lady because of you? so i will rather say that the maid should be left alone and let her recognise her position in the house- as a maid and nothing more. You are the boss u can correct her dressing style becos that is a way we can be tempted alot. Moreso, if u send her packing,  u have  block her source of income in which u can commit a sin through that. My candid opinion for you as a guy though am not married yet and as a christian,  Leave the maid, correct her dressing style, erase ur mind from sex anytime u see her or if u did not even see and moreso feed on the word of God for more ways u can sustain urself from temptations. I pray we shall not miss heaven when the truimpt shall sound. amen. So see u at the top. well if u want to contact me  this is my mail address richard.adebanjo@yahoo.com, i will love to welcome u.

0
Avatar
Newbie

bros. which kin education ur wife wan go do at this young life of your family. abeg wire the damn thing. besides i doubt if the maid is that fine, if not your question for be 'how do i ensure that madam does not suspect when she comes back?'

u know etin ur madam dey do for yonder.

am sorry i sound sarcastic, but sometimes u'll be surprised what the real situation is. na u know. but knocking the thing with your housemaid is not the best of things to do cos

1. you'll lose excessive points in dignity if it is discovered

2. she's still there in your house to see and be seen

3. she might take advantage. like chancing her madam when she comes back, forgetting she's the maid

4. pregnancy will attract and increase point number 1

5. u fit get std. u never know who d maid is doing it with when u go to work. dem dey do am o.

6. u get to share a woman with your gate man, plumber, etc like that. point no.1

but then u get to also quench that burning desire. i can imagine.

once again, whats d madam of your house doing abroad at this time and age of your family?

0
Avatar
Newbie

My brother lets see if I can help in any way , first.

1) Send the girl away this evening

2) Dust your bible and look for a religious gathering or bible study of evening fellowship and be fully commited to it.

For it is only when one has fallen short of the love of God, the fear of God and certain understanding we used to have about God that we start considering evil.

Do this now you are still in the considering stage, This will replenish your diminishing moral values and,

3) You must pray very often and Pray as if your next breath depends on it; pray like you mean it, you actually do.

I pray that God will give you the grace to desist Amen.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Kai! This is more than just indecent dressing. He is living with and attracted to the 'tempter'. Its a thing of the mind. You must cut it off. You don't negotiate with temptation when you are struggling with it. The guy isn't strong enough to handle from what he has written and even the housemaid knows by now being indecent.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The final epistle of larimo!![color=#990000][/color]

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster, we are only tempted by what we allow.

The Bible tells us to FLEE from all appearances of evil.

You don't face temptation, you run away from it.

Since, you have allowed her to be a temptation to you, you better send her away now not later.

God bless.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well. there's two things you can do to help with the situation. First the only way to overcpme temptaion is to deal with it squarely. I mean there's no need to send her packing. Lets assume at you place of work you work with beauiful women, are they going to go packing because of you personel sexual urge?No so be honest to yourself and deal with the situation like a man. And secondly if you choose to send her packing and she return as soon as your wife get back from her trip, don' you think that same voice will still be there? Anyway, i were you i would ask her to stop dressing improperly and let her know her position in the house ( house maid)

0
Avatar
Newbie

im sorry but do u really think that temptation cannot be actualized between now and the nxt week that u are leaving to go meet ur wife?? You should send the maid to ur mam rite away, dont waste time,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Is your house help's name Ekaete by any chance? if so make sure say u no give am belle

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why don't you send the housegirl packing and replace her with a male

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.