What difficulties can you face if your partner is an owner of passive-aggressive behavior? What are the signs of such type of personality? Read the article to learn more facts about it.
Definition of passive aggressive behavior
Not everyone gets responsible partner with whom it is possible to improve good relations and develop them. One of the most difficult types in communication is passive and aggressive at the same time partner. It can be a type of personality or personal reaction to adverse vital circumstances. It means that such person can have any personality, but reacts to things and events around him with passive-aggressive behavior. In case of reaction it is adaptation to those adverse environment, a method to feel better.
Passive aggressive behavior in relationships
It would seem the accurate contradiction is pledged in this name. How it is possible to be both passive and aggressive at the same time? But it is not so difficult. This personality attacks on people around in the form of the victim. Besides, passive and aggressive people often create situations when even people passing down the street become guilty of something though they don't know about its existence at all. But it is even more difficult what people with passive aggressive behavior never say to people around that they are guilty. People around shall guess that they are so bad.
Passive-aggressive behavior examples
Passive-aggressive person avoids responsibility for everything in every possible way and tries to throw it on others. Unlike a narcissus (who just loads surrounding people with the privilege to solve all difficulties for him), passive-aggressive person does nothing at the first sight. But you won't notice how responsibility will already be on you. And if it is possible not to communicate with such person even if he or she sits with you at work at the next table, or in family, it is just a catastrophic crash!
In general, such person looks very lovely, good and even smart, but he or she should be always protected. People around are stale and angry, and he/she is offended on them already in advance. This type of personality says that they torment him and that he is a victim. He can often be irritated and even to shout, to charge people around indirectly, saying about how he/she isn't appreciated. But from his point of view he behaves violently not because he/she isn't reserved but because people irritate him. Such people practically never say what they want directly. If there is a wish to go to have a rest somewhere, at first passive-aggressive partner can pretend tired for 2 weeks. Then he will begin to speak about rains and dirt. And when there will already be one step to tell the partner: 'Let's go somewhere', passive-aggressive person fatally takes offense at callousness from the beloved.
Considering such behavior, passive-aggressive partner can bring family life into chaos. He/she shirks from responsibility, lies, and does everything on contrary. And the most important is that other partner is guilty of such state. Passive-aggressive partner can't work, can't rise from sofa, look for children for 10 minutes, do purchase in shop. It is difficult to make a conversation or to sort out relations with him. There are always answers: 'Do as you want', 'Think about it yourself', etc.
All this occurs because of 3 main fears, which pursue passive-aggressive personality: fear of dependence, fear of proximity and fear of competitions. If he agrees with the partner and will allow him become closer, he can lose control and really began to be offended. And if he begins to compete with someone, he will take responsibility for it and lose.
The only remedy of such partner is a designation of clear boundary and responsibility. 'If you don't do it, it won't be made instead of you, and it isn't necessary to look for guilty'. If you have such partner, it is necessary to stop arranging his happiness. His happiness is your fixed fault. Only such way your partner feels safe and she/he isn't going to change on this stage and will constantly depreciate all your attempts to do something better. If you change your behavior and won't answer provocations of the victim, then she/he should take the responsibility for the relations.
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