Do you have relationship anxiety problems? Looking for the ways of overcoming relationship anxiety? Read the article and find out the ways of overcoming relationship anxiety?
Sooner or later, every person begins to feel the need to create a strong and lasting relationship. Panic fear and anxiety of relationships with the opposite sex, which is a straight road to loneliness, can not only be a hindrance, but also in general an end to your successful personal life.
Fortunately, intimophobia (so-called fear of the close connection and relationship anxiety in psychology) can be corrected, and it can be overcome, if put into practice the recommendations of professionals.
What is the reason: Women
Girls growing up in dysfunctional families, and often become witnesses to male aggression, as adults, are more likely to suffer from the fear of a serious relationship. Testing a subconscious fear of the stronger sex, they are constantly waiting for them some kind of a trick.
Negative experience with men - is another common reason for that women start to avoid romantic relationships. Having experienced the pain of separation at least once, and fully experiencing the bitterness of disappointment, they believe that it was enough, and in the future they simply do not want to suffer any more.
Nothing restricts women in an effort to make their personal life better as unpleasant secrets. At the same time, the mystery can of any character: some are afraid of their own misdeeds, others confuse the presence of relatives who have an addiction to gambling, drugs or alcohol.
Ladies are absolutely confident that they are beautiful, intelligent and charming, are the perfect targets for a failed relationship. Bogged down in complexes, they lose their ability to adequately assess the reality, while they are worried that they could not meet the expectations of the opposite sex.
High level of responsibility
Serious communication implies not only stable sex, but also familiarity with the parents, as well as the need for marriage. This circumstance is often a stop sign for men, causing them to panic and have fear of intimacy.
Unlike women, representatives of the stronger sex, tend to experience any failures on the "intimate edge" much stronger. Even the most minor erection problems become for them a real disaster, literally destroying all possible desire to start a relationship.
READ ALSO: How to distinguish a long term relationship?
Despite the fact that the world is changing rapidly, many men still feel that it is important to be the "main breadwinner in the family." Experiencing financial difficulties they feel the failures and start to avoid long-term bonds.
Loss of independence
Men, who are already accustomed to free bachelor life, with great difficulty, immerse themselves in the long-lasting relationships with women. Overcoming intimophobia for them is the same as their own locking themselves in prison, deprived of all the pleasures and doom to communicate with a single interlocutor.
Statistics show that majority of men and women are afraid of these kinds of relationships.
Serious entry into the phase of a serious relationship means that the game is now over and the lovers are coming to much more significant steps: familiarity with the parents, the marriage ceremony and many years of living together.
Once being dangerously close to marriage, many relationship anxiety men start to panic, and even go to extremes. For example, they break through to cancel the wedding, require written assurances of reciprocal love, or trying to take a notarized signature of non-interference from the partner's parents.
New relationships – it’s always a stress, caused primarily by uncertainty: A young man meets a girl, not yet aware of her interests, and therefore fears to seem boring or overly intrusive. The young lady, in turn, fears that with a man can arise a lot of troubles: he might not like her friends, or bring excessive attention to her friends.
Divorce, never passes unnoticed for couples - some are afraid to get burned again; others do not want to restrict their freedom.
Similar examples can be mass, how many people - so many stories, that's just the story which everyone has of his own, and the result is always the same - the fear of a painful relationship.
Close intimate relationship, as a rule, are avoided by people who are accustomed to carefully guarding their personal space and do not want to take on additional responsibility. Feeling that a loved one is getting closer approaches the clearly defined boundaries of what is permitted, they are so scared that subconsciously choose this pattern of behavior, which inevitably leads to the termination of a love affair.
What is the most interesting, the blame for the gap is entirely laid on the partner, in every way exaggerating his real or alleged shortcomings.
Fear of intimacy
Intimacy anxiety often originates from the childhood. To blame is not enough warm and trusting atmosphere in the family, as well as strict parents who do not consider it necessary to show and discuss the emotions. Other reasons that may cause this phobia include: diseases associated with the sexual organs; sexual violence; lack of experience; failure in the intimate area.
How to get rid of the fear?
Find a lot of advantages
Simply doing nothing, followed by constant whining on "nobody wants me" has not helped anyone to overcome the fear of relationships. Do you want to overcome it?! Start working on yourself: watch the appearance, increase the intellectual level, visit exhibitions and performances, communicate with interesting and extraordinary people.
Forgive your parents
If fears come from some childhood accident, you can go in two ways. The first - continue to hate your parents, reproaching them for all the ills. It sounds terrible, but in reality it will be even worse, because sooner or later, you can get drowned in this hatred. The second - to understand that other parents will no longer try to forgive them.
Understand that life after divorce
Yes, some relationships do not work out, so it is a pity, but it happens. However, this is not a reason to give up on your personal life and be alone to the end of your days, and to avoid the communication with opposite sex. Do you want to return to normal life?!
Start from minor things: more smile, flirt and do not forget to accept invitations for dates and parties.
In the moments of happiness, these pieces of the past will not fail to remind about themselves.
How to cope with fear for adults?
Psychologist's advice of overcoming intimophobia is only stopping "burying your heads in the sand"; met a nice man, try to talk about your fear, because sometimes trust treats; overcoming subconscious fear is possible, if you find the root cause of it and analyze it carefully; if you can not solve the problem, make an appointment with a specialist, because one head - is good, while two - the best.