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I Cheated On My Husband, I Regret It Can I Tell Him?

I had a problem with my husband about 2 months before our wedding, he suspected and accused me of having an affairs he later found was not true and this was after we have dated for 5 years. That broke my heart because i was a very decent girl and infact he disvirgined me after 4 years into our courtship after i had graduated from UI. He did apologize though and even though i tried to stop the wedding he begged me and made the whole world beg me i was no longer interested but it was too late. When we got married i realised i never enjoyed sex it is always pain and i tried to see if something was wrong with me, i tried to forgive him and free my mind and yet i still never enjoyed it. One day i listened to a voice mail a girl left for him of how much she enjoyed him and how he should not because of marriage forget her as he was too sweet on the bed, this broke my heart because i trusted him and now i realised its not as if he doesnt know how to make love it was my problem. Though i regret it now and feel quilty, i slept with an ex who never slept with me as a single girl and i must confess i enjoyed it, now i can't say what my problem is, i never did it after then and i still don't enjoy sex with my husband. I feel so guilty and i wish i could confess to him and ask for his forgiveness. Is it wise to do this and please if you have ever had like problem what can i do to enjoy sex with my husband. Please, this is a marital and serious and real issue will appreciate genuine and helpful advise.

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No i cheated on him cuz his d,ck was 3 inches on the hard. I lost respect for him because he loss his job and would not pick up a part time one while i worked two jobs put him thru school because he that is what he wanted to do and I wanted to stand behind my man and he would not help around the house with the kids. In doing so he freed me and opened my eyes that i could do this alone so why not.

Two totally different things. Thus the statement: when i lost all respect for him, that is a different story for a different day

Do you understand now.

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Sista woman your posts stinks of hyposcrisy. You wont except a cheater blah blah blah.

What kind of advice are you giving? The fastest way to Bleep up your life?

You cheater on your ex for 4 years? You lost respect for him because he was not sexing you well well?

Do you think with your clit or what?

Oshi!

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you said he cheated on you? if you are trying to get separated tell him, if not keep your mouth shut. sometimes secrets are needed.

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Some people can make marriage so boring and scary for the rest of us. jeez!

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http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-85040.0.html

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Having not lived in my house or my shoes you can not start to understand what was going on in my 20 something mind.  Maybe it was because we had 4 children and I was afraid of providing for them on my own.  Maybe it was because I liked the status of being a married woman.  Whatever it was looking back on it now I would never do it again, I would just leave.  I am sure there are mistakes that you made then that you would not do now. 

Addtionally, the man that I was cheating with was also in a r/s so there was no future for us and we never looked at each as more than just a hook up.  He tried to contiune to see me after i left my husband but there was no interest in me seeing him anymore he was simply a tool.  There were no feelings there on my part and i can't speak for him.

I never told my ex-husband because it just would serve no purpose.  Now having been cheated on by my ex-boyfriend and him having the NEED to tell me about it I now know why something told me not to tell my ex-husband I cheated on him.  The hurt that one feels when they have been nothing but faithful is really too much to bear.

For you it would take your husband cheating on you a few times for me my limit is once.  And there is no way for her to know what her husbands limit is until she tells him.  So does she risk loosing her marriage to clear her consience or does she keep her mouth shut and deal with it herself.  That is for her to decide all I can do is tell you my story and offer my opinion but like they say "opinions are like assholes everyone has one"

Oh yea BTW i live in America he will be leaving the house not me.

Yall have a good evening I am leaving work, heading home to kiss my husband and talk to my kids. . . . . . c yall online tomorrow.

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pardon me but d second bold words r irritating,sorry but its d truth,u  did not use anybody neither did u dump anybody,d reverse was d case

honestly speaking if a woman does not find pleasure in her husbands arms then let her get out of the marriage,no one is holding her back,instead of staying there and sleeping wt some other man and still  allow her husband touch her or sleep on d same bed wt her?no way thats dirty ,and d poster knows that its a dirty act that is y her conscience is judging her like mad

Any woman that says that she will leave her husbands house just because he cheated on her once,does not really know what marriage is all about,and needs to learn ,even if it means going to the extremem to learn what exactly d word virtuous means

im not saying that when a man cheats on a woman a couple of times she should still stick her Bottom in d marriage,nope,im saying that when it is done once its no reason to leave her house dats shes built for years just like that,but when it bcomes too much ,then u walk out

its better for a woman to divorce her husband and go make love to some dude dan been wt her husband, people still knowing that shes married and go make love to some man,how on earth will that man even look at u?ofcourse he might not express it but deep down in his heart he'll never even think of going into a deep relationship wt u ,judging from d fact that d woman might turn her back on him and still sleep wt another man while married to her

if d poster wants to tell her man,then let her,some men r not animals that will kill their wives for their unfaithfulness,nope sometimes things work out after d confession,its all about having an understanding man,that will even try to make up for all d times he was not damn active

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If i wanted to keep my marriage i would have had to keep it to myself.

Listen I am no fool I know me and I know how I am. I have told my current husband that if he ever cheats on me and gets a weak moment where he think it is ok to tell me then he should let that be a passing thought. He should never ever tell me about it and to make sure i never find out he should never ever tell another soul.

Once that comes out I have no other choice but to divorce my husband and move on. I will not under any circumstances except a cheater in my bed, in my life, in my home or in my heart. On that day that he tells me such a thing I will turn my back to him forever. And I would expect nothing less of him to me.

I cheated on my ex-husband for 4 years before i ended the marriage and after i ended it the guy i was cheating with i ended it with him as well. Because after I was out of my marriage there was no need for him.

If she must confess it, do it to a therphist or a man of God but never please never tell this man. Why would you want to inflict on this man all of that pain? If you love him if you hate him please dont inflict that pain on him. I know what it feels like to love someone have them cheat on you then confess it to you. Please please please dont do that him. Dont transfer your guilt to his pain. That is just selfish.

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u think its easy to cheat on your man and still have feelings for him?u called it quits and kept it all to yourself till date because your feelings for him died,and u were no longer interested in him,because of d sexual satisfaction u were getting out there

Dis poster claims not to love her husband,but wt d way she posted this thread,the feelings r still very much there,but shes just to stubborn and blind to admit it

sistawoman if u had remained wt your husband until date,i mean today,would u have kept this secret all to yourself,till now? plssssssssssssssssssssssssssss there is nothing like a real conscience,it will judge u no matter wat

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Actully I do know what it is like I cheated on my first husband purely because he was not fullfilling me sexually and when i lost all respect for him, that is a different story for a different day, and dismissed him/ended our marriage i never told him.

men will kill for much less why worry if this man is going to kill me just to clear my mind.

Dont tell it.

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u think its easy ,dont u?

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I have read all the posts and I agree with those that say u should take it to your grave.

You should never ever ever tell your husband you should delete all posts regarding this and you should never ever right this down any where not even in your diary.

I could never image cheating on my husband but if i did i know that this is something that must be taken to the grave. Go to God for forgiveness and either continue to stay in your marriage or leave.

If you dont love him, if he gives you no physical pleasure then leave. But never ever tell him you cheated. He just might chop off your head.

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what will you do our ears are itching. Meanwhile it will definitely sneak out from her mouth one day if she don't make up her mind and draw her husbands attention on that issue you know pregnancy cannot be cover forever

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It worries me she is now having psychological trauma after shagging an ex boy-f. . . .

Once a woman sets out to go bed anutha man for pleasure, she sould be damned ready to face the consequences.

The price she must pay is to bury the secret and take it to her grave. . . .

Anutha option is to open her mouth carelessly and confess and get ditched to the gutter. . . . .

Single chics are still struggling to hitch and someone wants to risk her marriage on something she coulda avoided.

I know what i'd do as a woman anyways.

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@Hannibal do you think it is that easy to keep such secret till death? The poster is already having psychological trauma on that issue. It could be easier is for men but women I don't think so

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I dont check my junkmail. . . i have too much

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you sure you gave me the right email right?  It was sent on the day I promised. check your junkmail.

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i know na. just sayin long time no see

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You want to tell your husband u slept with an ex??

Are u from planet pluto?? Just take the secret to your grave.

Besides, what methods did your ex do differently from your husband??

I just don't understand how your ex gives u a real tumble and your husband can't move the earth for you . . . . .

Maybe u should communicate more in the bedroom. . . .

Tell your hubby how u want it done BUT never tell a man u cheated on him because u don't enjoy SEX. Marriage aint about sex alone.

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I dont think you should tell him that you cheated but you should tell him that he doesnt pleasure you so a solution can be found. . . . it'll be hard for your marraige to last without sex especially since you've already tasted the good stuff.

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I know you will be so scared at what your family and friends think but this is your life.  Dont stay there to save face.  Maybe it would be a good idea to have a break from each other and see how you feel about being apart.  

You obviously dont argue like cat and dog and you have friendly fun.  You should really tell him that you dont enjoy sex.  No matter how nicely you put this his ego will be hurt be prepared for him to lash out at you.  Even if he is a great lover the fact you dont find him sexually attractive will kill the mood everytime.

All in all please think long and hard.

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I can just imagine what that "marriage" is like.

I cant imagine being married to a woman i dont sexually crave. Best to talk to him and decide if you both want to continue or not, it wont get better by keeping quiet . . . only worse.

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thanks Lady T

dats just d truth

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Oh dear you are living a lie.  If you don't love him you need to end it all now.  Dont waste his time or yours.  Your are pretending your happy when you are not.  You should confess all to him how you feel and what you think he has done (the cheating) and what you have done.  Maybe confessing all will help you or maybe it wont.  But theres no point in living a lie.

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Tell him let the worst happen it is better you tell him than him findi ng out believe me one day it must surely sneak out of your mouth or whom you confide in will use it and threatens you so try to pray a little for courage/boldness also for God to help change his heart to forgive you Good luck. I wish you the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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She doesn't love him, has barely forgiven him for the accusation he made against her, went on to marry him, found sex unpleasant, had it with an ex and enjoyed it. . . .I'm sorry, I don't see much hope for this marriage.

Sex is not enjoyed, and more damning is that she doesn't love him. I think they should call it quits and not lead miserable lives just to appear nice.

I believe you should confront him with the voicemail, then confess - no point acting as if its all hunky-dory when its not

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why did u cheat in the first place

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if u dare tell him,just count yourself out of wedlock .The only option now is to go back to that man who knows how to handle ur predicament on bed to pls tell u what or how he does it on that evil day. Then you can stylish teach your husband to do it in the same way. 'REMEMBER U' DESERVE TO TO BE GIVEN 100 STROKE OF KOBOKO(CANED) FOR SIN AGAINST GOD.i.e "ADULTERY"

ask for god forgiveness and never try such again. bye

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Funny how there are so many don't tell him replies on here, yet we wonder why there are so many fraudulent people around.

To all you saying Don't tell him, i believe thats the natural course of your own relationships and you have fraudulent nature. Tis people like you who loose out when the past suddenly creeps up. What happened to openess and truthfulness in relationships?

@ poster

Please tell him at the right time. Better to deal with it together and forge ahead, than to live with the guilt till a friend of a friend of a friend who your EX has told, tells your husband someday.

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perhaps u prefer ur ex.

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AFTER 9 MONTHS OF TRYING HARD TO WORK ON MY MARRIAGE AND MYSELF AS ADVISED BY YOU ALL I HAVE COME BACK TO CONTINUE MY STORY. IT HAS TAKEN THIS LONG BECAUSE I FORGOT MY PASSWORD AND COULD NOT LOG IN WITH MY USERNAME SO I HAVE COME UP WITH REGISTERING WITH SAME NAME AND ADDED back to dbisi.

I must say i got confused because of the two advise i got here one to tell him and one not to tell him. I tried to see if i could discuss this with anyone but the shame! Not even my closest friend or pastor. As much as i tried i still find myself living in guilt and as much as i tried to free my mind, forgive my husband and enjoy everything i should with him i still have not for once enjoyed sex with my husband, i feel nothing Intimate for him at all, we are great as friends we play, holds hands in public, play rough and all that but when it comes to anything emotional he never appeal to me.

How for God' sake can i get over this? I think i dont love him anymore deep down in my heart but i like him and he is a nice and wonderful person to be with but how long can i continue not feeling for my own husband?

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DUMB IDEA DUMB DUMB DUMB, DONT TELL HIM Y, IS IT GUILT PUHHHHHHHHHLEASH. ONLY THE LORD KNOWS WHAT HE HAS DONE BEHIND U. IF U LOVE HIM DONT TELL HIM, IF U DONT, THEN THROW IT IN HIS FACE. MY ADVICE GO TO CONFESSION, CUT OFF THE OTHER RELATIONSHIP, ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS

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(wed123)

A lot of those advicing you to confess have either never been in this sitaution or are underestimating the seriousness of the issue.

Here's what you may not know: the fastest/most guaranteed way to end your relationship or marraige to a guy is to "confess" to infidelity. Trust me. And like someone said earlier on, we (men) are never quite able to handle this - "nice" or "bad" guy - it cuts across.

O.k, let's just say 1 out of a million guys would live with this. But this odd guy will most likely be sufering from some kind of complex or is "living" with the sitaution just so he can have a defence for misbehaving in the future.

"For real. we are not built for this thingseven the bible says so

About confessing, i cannot advise that move AT ALL, Men never go past it.

Sadak,

I'm really very happy 4 you and the way you were able to work it out with your wife. its an enviable move

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@ sabak

i think this is about the most matured and out rightly reasonable post i have ever read on nairaland, am most impressed. sometimes some posters take evrythin as a joke or make disparaging , uninformed remarks about someone else's problems, but this is good. i guess it shows that we still have a few good men left, your wife is real lucky, i bet she knows that.

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sabak

i think am really educated by this

thanks

i have a new insight to things now

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well, may be i will start by telling you my own story

my girl friend of 8 year confessed to me two days after i had proposed that she had cheated on  me a couple of times. she said she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, but couldn't live with the burden of not letting me know the things she did. to say the least, the impact of that confession was shattering, cos she was my best friend and i had grown to trust her so much. it opened a new vista in our relationship, as i grew to find out that i didn't know her as much as i thot i did. of course i reacted like everyother guy and attempted to bolt out

she ran to my mum, her mum and my younger sister who she knew was the closest to me in my family. and one by one all three women called me up, long and Short was that they all felt if i could let it go then i should, that she deserved a second chance.my mum told me that the virtue of the courage to open up, towers above the vice of  the betrayal, my younger sister also echoed the same sentiments

i was baffled, that the two women who i knew loved me so much they could give anything for my happiness were actually lobbying for a woman who had been unfaithful to me. in the 12months that proceeded, i talked to as many female strangers as possible about the experience in a bid to get vast feminine opinions, in the end i must have talked to about 500 women of different ages , status and creed, and out of the crowd, only an amazing 2 said i should quit. then i realised that almost everywoman could or have done that before, and thats why they were sympathetic. this is directly opposed to men's expectation of women.

this incident made me grow up in a way i never could have, and  with time i let go and forgave. then i realised i never stooped loving  her for a second in spite of the infidelity. we became closer and i began to discover her more than i could ever imagine.she be came a more confident person, and that dark cloud that always hung somewhere about her loyalty to me faded away, and gave way to a relationship where i realised that i didn't have an infallible angel, but a woman, who needed my undying commitment, support and friendship to be the woman i wanted her to be and two years after the confession, i got married to her.

time has passed on from that time, and i don't have any regrets at all. i have watched my best friend grow into a model woman and wife, not the type that feigns but the one that is, becos she know who she is.

now you need to decide whether you want to completely turn your life around from a woman who can cheat her husband to one who can't. and if you intend to do so you need to realise that its God who would do it for you, and you need to realise that if your repentance is complete, that God will fight for you like He did for my wife. if that decision is made, confess to your husband and pursue his forgiveness with everything in you.God will do the rest. remember that regret is not enough.a realisation that it should never have happened and that it must never happen again is fundamental. without this confession, your husband will spend the rest of his life with a complete stranger, now you need to imagine which is more wicked, the cheating or the covering up.

i leave you with these words that my sister spoke to me while the fire raged, i hope that someday your husband will read them while he tries to discover what gave you the divine courage to speak out.

"what is the difference btw an angel who never did it, and a devil who did it over and over again but you never found out?".

goodluck and God bless

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My sista,

sorry that revenge led you to such act but 1st you got to understand that forgiveness starts from the heart, so forgive yourself and give ur life to Jesus Christ He is the only one that can heal the wound tell your husband the truth. I believe God will help u.

Gudluck

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ti aja ba fori komi a mona ile olowo re, a yoruba adage

english: when dog had being hitted on d street, he will go back to his owner's house. just example.

one day either you or your husband will hitted a stone of shame outside your marriage and come back home for pleading, which might lead to separation. Both of you don't experience a financial problem but sex issue, i fink with money you can both enjoy your marital home. Henceforth you people should tried always goin to church together, host house fellowship and you woman should go straight to your pastor, elaborate and cofess to him. your pastor knows how to handle the situation and both of you should be eating in one dish, if your hubby isn't back frm werk wait 4 him , let him know that is becos of him u neva eat your meal. he will show passion and is the one that will kindle the fire before u know what to do as good wife. if you scatter you marital home now it might be possible that u might not find a good one like him again, he's still good for,agent u know is better than a saint u don't knw.

just 4get about telling ur husband the trash, becos we are all humans he will be imaging hw he use to sleep with other girls and he might be imaging how they did to you too, and that can make him pretend to forgive you but neva in his mind forget and forgive u. let the memories die and don't go around with another person, tell the person u are havin secret affairswith and separate in peace. when u have the first child u will be happy and love your husband again.

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Ur problem is psycological.

From ur story, it all started from when ur hubby disvirgined you.

Then i dnt think you were ready. Thats why u av physical pain and not enjoying the sex. Since the day u were disvirgined ur brain has registerd that pain.

All u need to do i to clear ur head of that psycological pain.

And besides i believe yr hubby did not disvirgin u well, he might av rushed u then to cos a lot pf pain, thats a lot of mistakes men make with virgin.

I cant tell u to confess to him abt u cheating on hi, its up to you.

Anyway all the best, and try and repair ur marriage.

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@ufobabe

infact clear your mind. nothing happened ok.

sit him down and tell him about the pains that u feel each time u he goes down.if u can't tell him, the pain will continue. rather both of u should see a doctor.

don't forget NOT 2 TELL HIM. men are more jealous than us.

Ladies are more jealouse dear

Well, I don't know the thread poster' tribe. But in Delta State, that' where I come from. Its a taboo that naturally cost the woman' life if she ever attempts doing such.

so, I can't take myself as a guy.

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I think the foundation for this wedding is faulty. u shouldnt marry out of pity in the first instance, when u felt akward the first time, u should have chickened out.

The reasons why this is happening is cos that wedding should have occured.

Now ure married, u must live with it.

ADVICE: Dont u dare tell him or you will be crying all the days of your marriage.

Continue sleeping with that guy if thats the only thing that gives you joy.

Seek the attention of your pastor or Imam for some spiritual advice.

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hmm . . . well, well, well. . . I think u should tell him if he went behind ur back & had sex with another lady!

He can get angry, but he is also guilty, u two are marred and should be able tu confide in each other rather than go behind each other's back cheating . . .

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hi, i read about ur affair with ur ex while u are still married to ur husband, i must say dat is very wrong of u. no matter wat ur husband did or u hear else where is not a reason for u to cheat on him, confront him and seek repentance from him and not to indulge in a similar act. although its not good for a man to cheat on the wife, but its an abomination for the wife to cheat on the husband. so be very careful of wat u do while u are in marriage.

On weather u should tell him, i will say wat the ear does not hear, the heart does not grieve about

As for ur sexual life, the problem lies within u,

first, i dont think u luv him from ur heart, secondly, u've not accepted him as ur husband in ur heart and thirdly, both of u are not friends so am not surprised, how can u enjoy sex with someone u have no feelings for. giving an opportunity, u had sex with ur ex and u enjoyed it, wat does dat tells u? YOUR FEELINGS AND MIND IS SOMEWHERE ESLE.

Take a biro and paper and write out the things u like about ur husband and see if u can come with something tangible,

marriage is not something u force ur self into, u should have listened to ur self before u entered and save urself the problems u re having now.

i strongly go against divoice so here are some tips u can used to save ur marriage,

See urself as a wife and know the meaning of being a wife and wat it takes to be a wife

Start with a pray to God, tell him to forgive u ur sins and to give u the strength u need to make ur marriage a success. be sure u are not going to fall for such temptations again.

Discard watever relationship u have with ur ex or any body in dat region.

Be a friend to ur husband, seek and reach out to him, know him like u've neva known anyone in ur life before, discuss everything with him theres no hold bares,

Be a mother to him, love and care for him. know wat his doing and where his going. discuss the future with him.

A llow ur feelings to grow and Be a lover to him, When ure together, be relaxed, be romantic with sexy things around u. dont rush the moment its a gradual thing. if he rushes u, tell him no, he should be slow and take it gradually.discover places dat turns u on likewise him and see how the tempo builds.

If in ur heart u want the marriage to be, God will surely give u the strength, wisdom, understanding , knowledge to enjoy the bliss of marriage.

Goodluck

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@ poster

I feel u on this tip. U know ur husband and how he reacts to issues so i'll break it down like this:

- If he there is any chance that he could find out what u did, then perhaps u should tell him before he does.

- If u feel he would be able to handle the truth maturedly, then u should clear ur conscience by telling him. From ur post, I get the impression he wont take it well.

-My personal advice is not to tell him. Ignorance is bliss. I gather from ur post that he is also cheating on you so its kinda like poetic justice hey?

About ur sex life, u need to ask urself what ur husband is doing wrong dat d other guy did rite. Perhaps, it is a trust issue. Ask urself whether u still luv ur husband; whether u still feel like his wife. Confront him with the fact that u know he is cheating on you and seek professional help if u have to. Goodluck 2 u and I hope u find happiness again.

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VOMITING, you have said it all. i only wish this lady will learn from your posting.am indeed proud of you and pray to be blessed with a woman with same mentality.

as for the poster, for you to be feel remorse for your disgraceful action it shows you still have some morals left in you.

Take it that the infidelity of a man is not enough or any reason at all for the woman to follow suit.Learn to discuss your problems and have them resolved.Two wrongs can never make a right.

my advice - confront your husband with your sexual problem;present it in a subtle manner;don't nag or make him feel like a failure in bed;present it like a mutual problem;avoid anything that will be suggestive of threat.possibly do this while in bed with him,hope you understand what i mean.

And for your infidelity, keep it to yourself,but never repeat it or you will be doomed - that is my prayer for people like you.

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@Dbisi

Hey, please don't destroy your marriage by telling this man what will destroy him ! Like most people on this board has said, guys can't take confessions like this. The same thing happened to me last year, she did not tell me but i found out through her text messages on her phone. I felt like throwing-up, my stomach couldn't take it. I regret checking that phone and i regret not forgiving her. After 10 years of courtship, i let her go and now she is married to someone else. But i feel free though! Forget what happened in the past and look forward to the future, indulge yourself in a lot of prayers and renew your relationship with your man and i'm sure he will notice the difference and love you more. Believe me prayers works !! Always remember that you are not in a dating game anymore, this is marriage and it is serious business ! Trust me, if you let this mistake ruin your marriage, your husband and you will never be the same. Scars like that is not good for any life !

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@ poster

Honesty is the policy was how parents brought us up but as an adult (i don't mean to sound bad) honesty is not always the best policy, if you know your marriage is strong enough to survive this, then go ahead and tell him, but personally i would say you shouldn't, as he's already accused you of cheating on him before marriage, he might think you've been doing it all along, as you said you don't enjoy sex with him, he could have figured this out too himself but his ego might not have let him say nothing now telling him you cheated on him could be a disaster, he could put two and two together and get six and thought the reason why you dont enjoy it with him is because you were getting it elsewhere, but if you know that someone knows what you've done and could tell him, then i'll say it's better it comes from you but if not dont, but pls dont do it again, try and work on your marriage.

About not enjoying sex with him, well i think it's might have to do with you bitter with him, what i mean is that, you might still feel angry about him accusing you of cheating on him two months before marriage, you said he later found out it wasn't the case, that means he must have gone to some extent to find out if it was true or not and that couldn't have been pleasant for you, it could be he spoke to your friends, ex's, family etc, he could have even been he threatened to call it off if he found it was true, i really don't know if things went these way but if it did then surely you'll still be bitter as pain during sex (if not medical) could be a sign that mentally your heart was not into it but physically you're into it , which could make you not sexual arouse, and could make you feel not passionate about making love to him, the only way out is to talk about it, tell him how you felt when he accused you of cheating, sometimes just saying sorry is not enough, he might need to make it up to you somehow also tell him you heard his voice mail as that would also be eating you up as he needs to apologise for being hyprocritical , also find a way to spice up things, e.g go away for a romantic weekend, you don't have to travel out, book an hotel room for example, have romantic meals, (restaurants, let him cook for u, take away etc), do things you do when dating etc you might start seeing him in a different light.

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I know is not good to tell as to protect your marriage but for me as the male I prefer you tell me since you find out that I do such first then we have 2 adjust but how can we trust each other? (It all depends how u tell me probably e.g. as in a funny way).

"confront the lady maybe she wants to spoil your marriage but if true, tell your husband that if he dont want u, he should stop and do something before he spoils the marriage ooooo. then u can set him up wisely to sit him up (maybe as in e.g. chatwith ur cousin 2 in his presence, I know he would like 2 know who u are chatting with but be careful).

It is not only men that have 2 cheat why women accept it . it pains vice versa but if u found out from me red handed and U know I love u, and how we value our family u better tell me so that we can do something about it before it is too late because if another person let it out I would not be happy when it is too late telling and hiding from me in the house.

(see I do = u do) then we have to change and sort it out and never again cos outsider can never help our marriage. I prefer it that way

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@poster

I will advise you not to confess to him as that will ruin your marriage(If you want to stay married to him). If on the other hand you cannot enjoy sex with him then there is still dat problem of the marriage not working. PLease note that sex is the necessary ingredient required to oil a blissful marriage! I dont think you truly love your husband so if you search your heart and think that you dont, then you should tell him you know he's been cheating on you and also confess that you have cheated on him and the only reason you did cheat on him is becos you dont love him anymore. If you dont love him, do not consider friends and family in orrder to continue to struggle and keep the marriage whilst you remain in bondage cos you will only continue cheating on him and messing yourself up.

Think of it real good and make your decision.

Cheers

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