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If U Are In My Position What Would U Do?

I Just realised that my female friend of more than 5yrs is HIV positive, though she did not tell me, couple of days ago, she came to use my laptop, i left the room for her because i can trust her with any of my stuff. Suddently my mobile started ringing i dashed in to answer the call because i left my mobile on my bed, she paniced and swtiched off the laptop without properly shutting it down then thanked me and left.

When i wanted to use my laptop i swtiched it on and try to open a page then a message pops up asking if i want to continue with the previous task (this happens with the new Internet exploer8) i clicked yes, then i was presented with an e-mail she was sending to her ex, telling him not to go around telling everybody that she is HIV positive.

I only met her ex 2x but i know alot of guys she have slept with, we are very very close, infact she knows almost all my Exs BUT we never kissed let alone sleep with each other, that is the only boundary we never crossed.

What do i do now? ask her or tell some of her Exs to get checked up becuase i know some of them, i mean some are my close mates,

What do u think?

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30 answers

i know u are not Hiv/Aids patient but u just have 2 say so, 2 capture her heart

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sad moment of life pls if u no them please tell dem 2 check there hiv status wit out xposing her then call her ask her if she have been tested of hiv/aids and tell her u are 1 of them( u are aids patient) and hear her and try 2 advice tell her that there is still life

make her no dat she should be fine and plan 4 good life and stop spreeding it. God will help u . pls treat her like a human and don't discriminate her bcus it kill moredan Aids.

think

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oh well,

the topic is officially closed

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The latest!!

I called her and we finally met up for a chat. Apparently she is angry with me because last month my ex visited me just fews days after i discovered that she is HIV positive and i told my ex to be careful with sharing any shape object with her and i told her why.

Now after couple of days, i had a massive row with my ex because of the issue of settling down and where to live after.

My ex went back to paris and decided to call my friend here and told her about the HIV thing.

Anyway i did not apologies for my action cos i thought i was doing the right thing.

She can't remember when she contacted it, so its hard to know who she got it from and who she passed on to, but that she will contact those guys for them to get checked up, that she uses condom though not always.

She is taking her medication seriously and eating well, hoping for the best.

So that is it, hope it works for her and those guys

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@chipet

na box wen dem de read

hisses

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sensibly make her aware of wat u saw

n advice her to warn all her sexual partners

whatever u do, do it in love

she doenst need any criticism now

all she needs is ur love, support n understanding

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@ pinky lady

I get your point maybe i should have warned her but then again i don't think anybody need a lecture on how to use condom or to practise safe sex.

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@ izeek

Don't be silly for God sake! who do u know i'm talking about here? Did i put up her name or my name here? Get lost if u got nothing contructive to say

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did u have to make public her life?

if it was ur case she brought to this panel, how ud u feel?

go an apologise, then u can advise her on what to do.

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@ poster

you where aware of the way she goes about sleeping with different men

and you never tought of warning her about the dangers of the kind of

life she's living despite how close you guys where.

you had a responsibilty to make sure she doesn't go wrong since you take her as

your sister, so why didn't you caution her about this before?

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@190

Read more to understand,and post less to avoid rubbish and off point reply.

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I can't believe that people are advising him not to tell anyone when she is knowingly spreading the virus

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@ Oxone,

That is exactly what i intend to do

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@Sissy,

No i wouldn't like her to tell my ex's, that is why i haven't done that untill i have a friendly but serious chat with her, even after a chat with her, i don't think i will have the courage to ring any of her ex and break the bad news to them. I rather encourage and support her to do so.

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@Touchmeder, i see your point and many pple see it that way as well, i know she always have loads of condoms cos i get from her when i ran out of one, anyway i'm still waiting to get intouch with her, at the moment her phone is on voicemail.

Thanks for ur valuable input

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if you were in her position, would you like her to tell your ex's that you have HIV?

or be comfortable with it?

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its better you speak to her first like u already intend to do. perhaps she used condom with those guys. some of them might be lucky who knows all in all they need to do the test sha.

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@whitesturd, thanks for ur reply, i can only thank God, i rang her today her mobile went to voicemail, i didn't want to drop the message on voicemail cos i have to have a chat one-on-one with her.

Many of my male friends thinks i'm GAY cos they know how close we are but never end up in bed or a kiss, the point is, any female friend that reminds me of my elder/younger sister will never see me HALF-Unclad, its part of me, and i grew up with that believe, yes we discuse ANY thing, yes we tell each other ANY thing, but when it comes to bedroom affairs it with somebody else.

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congratulations.ore mo wo re wa.thank God 4 ur life.do not be d 1 to tel dos pple.let her do it herself.ure 1 of d few guys dt doesnt tink wt their Joysticks

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Thanks for everybody that has replied to this topic, alot of u have made some very good points here and i'm going to use them. I'm going to give her a ring 2moro and tell her exactly what i saw, then tell her to contact 'those' guys for them to get checked up,

I will let you all know what the outcome is, Thanks again

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Its not in your place to tell those she has had relationships with,

but find time to talk to her about your findings.

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If she refuses to let her partners know that she is HIV positive then you need to tell them that she might be and if she continues to sleep with people and putting them at risk then you need to alert the authorities. Friend or no friend this is plain evil

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Give her an ultimatum, either she tells her ex partners she's an HIV carrier or you will. You owe it to your friends. The earlier they proceed with the treatment the better, that is IF they're found to be HIV positive.

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try set the atmosphere i mean let her feel secured then tell her about wat u saw.

Enlighten her on the need for her to tell her ex(s) and also the need for her to start going for councellig and ARV drugs.

Hiv doesnt kill if care is well taken.

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Since one of her ex friends knows about it, letting her know that you know her HIV status won't kill her, So please advice her, if at all,caution her for her wicked act.

Remember, ''what goes around comes around''.

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@Hotstepper, Pink Lady, Lady bam,

Thanks for ur replies, yes i'm lucky and i can't thank God enough, don't get me wrong, i'm not a saint but in her case, i never ever get excited sexually, i take her as my African-sis, (she is from East Affrica), very open with me.just as i'm with her.when we go out clubbing she pulls sometimes, there are this 2 chinese ex-course mates she slept with, i lost contact with them since we graduated and they went back to china,

@Hotstepper, i need a huge courage to confront her cos i don't know what her reaction will be, kill herself? cos i tell u, the shock wave will be massive, she is popular with guys here including 2 MARRIED Nigerian men she told me about, (hope they used protection), to be honest with u, i feel sick thinking about this, God!!!

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confront her and yes, ask her 2 tell peeps she has slept with to go and check themsleves, good 4 u dat u havent slept with her

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men like you are rare, most guys cannnot not just be close to a female friend with out wanting more from her.

i guess this will be a lesson to all those guys that cannot do without sex

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