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Insecurity Or Selfishness?

I am currently helping a colleague plan his wedding.

To my biggest surprise, his bride-to-be deliberately left out her attractive/cute friends in her bridal train.

When asked why she left them out - She said she doesn't want to be outshone on her own WEDDING DAY.

Ma question is. . . . . .Is this a general trend in Naija brides or a one-off?

Should this act of placing one's own needs above the needs or desires of others be allowed?

Naija sisters, abeg. . . . . .I need answers.

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132 answers

Insecurities often lead to selfishness in some aspects of life , so I'd say it's both. I never really thought of marriage to that extent. Previously, when I was thinking of my wedding all I could imagine was all my best friends and how bad I would feel if they couldn't be my bridesmaids or be at my wedding.

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Na Amadioha would rim you from behind.

Chic2clit is jalethers babe only that he spends every alternate month in jail

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My bride can never do that else we would change the whole train immediately. or postpone the marriage and hire models

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^^Yeah , I have heard that some ladies do it. . . . . . . each to her choice. For me it's a no no, I need good and beautiful memories of that day, not fugly and shabbily made dresses and unhappy faces in my train.

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Tubabie,

Have you heard of it before, This is the first time I an hearing it and I don dey fear babes now

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@Topic

I guess its just insecurity that plagues most ladies that purposefully chose an ugly bridal train. . . .

My maids must be pretty and be on point on my special day. No shoddiness will be allowed. The beautiful ladies in the train can't take the shine off the bride. . . . . it's her day.

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i don't have exams. the school year is over!! i have work though and i have to be out of the house in 20 min.

what r u up to?

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Where have you been hiding yourself all these while and how were your exams

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Ti o ba di ale oni. Se o gbo

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lol, my yoruba is terrible but i think i got the gist. anywas I gotta watch true blood so cannot peruse further

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Mo wa ni yara, Wa pade mi

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ojo kan pelu. bawo l'e wa?

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The topic i saw was insecurity and selfishness! I dont know where you got inferiority from. Lolooooooooooo!

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When do you get back from work?

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[red]Guess ds thread's topic shld be InSecuRiTY or InFerioRiTY. . I dnt see selfishness comin in ere[/red]

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mr. dayokanu, what is hmmmmm?

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Oh, you a fish now?!!! (pushes self off pc)

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Leave me na. . . . .

How does ma superficial nature affect the price of fish?

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You are so superficial Sauron, SIGHS!

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That is what online forums are all about.

People must have different views - Half full or half empty.

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Chei!!!

Some NLanders are too acerbic. . . . . . Loosen up a bit.

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comments from the first 2 pages is full of hypocrisy, contradictions and bullshit.

"No confident and secure woman should ever feel threatened by other female companion's beauty", any other view that disputes that statement of FACT

can be taken with a grain of salt.

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Aiight, aiiiight. . . . .U can have your stuffs back.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!!!

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well well well, it's her choice. But I think it's an awful thing to do. I want my wedding all classy, why would I use my hands to spoil it. It's not a wise thing to do.

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Meaning not everyone is crusty and vile. I want my bridesmaids looking HOT!

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Sauron,

Once again, I did not give direct order to proceed, I asked rhetorical questions and THERE IS NOTHING

IN TEXT STATES, I GAVE YOU PERMISSION, YOU ASSUMED I GAVE YOU PERMISSION,

Be a man!

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Meaning?

You nor be woman again?

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Exclude me then. When you've nabbed your own man. . wetin consign me again?

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Have you actually read the first 3 pages of this topic?

They said it's a silent code amongst y'all women.

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Sauron honestly insecure women do things like that. No confident woman will do it that way.

You want your bridesmaids to look gorgeous as well.

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I am highly impressed. . . .

Unfortunately, brides like you are now SCARCE.

The ones we have out there today will rather pack Godzillas n Godzukis in their bridal train so they can look prettier.

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Well different strokes for different strokes.

When I got married, I personally chose beautiful tall girls and I went outof my way to chose a beautiful dress for them for that day. I also had them do make a lovely hair-do.

All these I did to make them look good and to grace the occassion - My wedding. Besides it is also an opportunity for them to showcase their beauty and catch their own men afterall am hooked.

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Anyway. i blame the bridesmaids that will accept to wear any cloth or hair style [dat they dnt like] just to be a part of the traIn. For me, l dnt compromise my looks not even for any insecured or selfish bride.

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nope, she's dumb cos okay, the cute ones dont get to wear the (quite often) ridiculous outfits that the bridal train has to wear, doesnt she realise that they have more opportunities to flaunt their looks in clothes that they actually like and want to wear?

i mean they will come to the party right?

if they cute, train or not, folks will see em and holla if they want, she's acting a biatch but more of a dumb biatch than anything

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No be all women sha. . . My brother wife use my elder sist as chief brides mate and my sist looked stunning just like d bride. . . Woman Wey really fine no go worry abt stuff like dat. . .

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a shitload of insecurity cos regardless aint the cute ones still gon be at the wedding?

yeah insecurity and a whole lot of dumb-assness

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I disagree. . . . .

U gave me a direct order to proceed. . . . .

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Those are questions and rethorical questions at that,

I did not say I AM GIVING YOU PERMISSION,

You need to read for what it is and not for what you want it to be,

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Its her wedding and its her day. if she thinks she would get outshadowed by her friends and end up as the backdrop in her wedding pictures, than its her choice to do so because its her wedding day her big day! it comes once in a lifetime

but if it were me, Id rather make them assist on other things instead of being my bridesmaids and I don want to be the bad person to dress them like some animal. . . Id rather not have any bridesmaids to be honest. . .

But speaking about marriage, My sistr's wedding was last year and I organize the whole thing. Her bridesmaids are all slimmer and preetier and bla bla bla but what I did was to design my sister's dres to be very elegant and suit with body posture while the bridesmaid , I design a simple nice sweet baby doll dress which will make them all look cute and funky while the bride is elegant and looking like a Queen

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Sauron, I am a rare breed and I got common sense,

You better saddle up before you miss the horse ride,

I have not given you any permission to do anything and you better watch it!

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I'm a rare breed.

U gave me the permission to proceed. . . . .

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How you gon be picky Sauron?

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i find it weird that a bride would pick ugly-looking bridesmaids, i would think that a woman would want to be surrounded by beauty on her wedding day. that's not a time to be insecure; she already is the centre of attraction, all the other ladies are there to celebrate with her not to look for husbands. and even if some of the bridesmaids are there to get husbands it wouldn't be the groom. besides, any groom that would even consider cheating with the bridesmaid isn't worth a bean.

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