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Inter-racial/inter-ethnic Marriage Is It Wrong?

Is there a problem with marrying whomever?

Are all men & women created equal so it(color, race, gender, [insert yours here]) shouldn't matter?

Is there familial/peer pressure to marry within your ethnicity/race?

Does location play a role in your decision?

Some Nigerians oversees may argue the difficulty in finding a true Nigerian guy/girl abroad worthy of their love.  (so they give up and marry whomever) - contrary others persevere and continue their search because they face possible rejection if they choose to marry just 'any person'.

i'm puzzled. I wouldn't go out on a limb and deem it wrong, but i'd prefer a nigerian woman.

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40 answers

Mrs Chima are you calling daft? Are we gonna start something?

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how do you define marriage?

some see it as a union between just two people. some see it as a union between extended families.  others see it as impinging on the community as a whole.

Practicing Jews, for example, are generally against intermarriage.

same with other groups that have strict marriage rules. Indians and other Asians come to mind where parents pick for their children sometimes.

and these groups are the most successful minority races/groups in western countries.

And when it comes to class, that's another issue. with the rich preferring to inter-marry with the rich etc.

I'll think these exclusivity "rules" have some validity to them.

too much intermarriage dilutes the culture norms. and eventually, with enough intermarriage, the group/race etc ceases to exist.

i guess it's all about preservation. especially if you have something valuable or "worthwhile" to preserve.

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Blame it on the Americans. They are the cause why such issue is being brought up.

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Mr Chima, I wasn't downing YOU when I was talking about the 'preference' story. I agree with what you said. I just wanted to know why someone would have a preference to someone of a different race group ONLY?! To me that's strange. That doesn't mean someone can't explain it to me. (THE QUESTION IS NOT DIRECTED AT YOU)

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Okay. The blog doesn't represent the mindset of many Black Americans collectively just like Nairaland doesn't represent the mindset of many Nigerians.

We just have to take it with a grain of salt and I do not know why those Black Americans you have read think they are from horn of Africa. It is not important to me.

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thank you Zol. Cork is the perfect example of some of the typical

ediots who we are talking about. It's really sad.

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I don't know what Black Americans you have been talking to but many Black Americans who doesn't have white, Asian, nor Hispanic parents doesn't call themselves "mixed" however many biracial Americans will call themselves mixed. Let us not confused the two.

Well, I don't know about the obsession with the horn of Africa but I do know that many non-Americans refer Black Americans as mixed or diluted Africans.

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^Does it have to be either or?

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Regardless of what anyone say or try to defend, self racism does exist and it is real.   As I have stated before YOUR PREFERENCE in whom you want to date and marriage is on you BUT THE ISSUE I have with some people is justifying and belittling THEIR group to impress their lap dogs. 

Believe it or not, many Asians have self racism and will only identify themselves as white.  Hmm.

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Nothing is wrong with interracial marriages. My only objection is that most of them don't last the test of time. How many interracial couples do you see in their sixties onwards? VERY FEW.

Many of the young men who think oyibo babes are the best thing since sliced bread end up as divorcees with child visiting rights. After the tor tori body is over they'll be back in Naija (by then in their 40s/50s) to scout for a small girl.

Whatever you choose to do, think of the long-term implications.

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Why must everything be about right or wrong.

The nitty gritty of it is love or lust alone does not sustain a marriage.

The couple involved are the ones who are married to each other, right? Not everyone else.

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It's wrong if it's based on self-hate. That means you're not marrying this person out of love, but out of hate for yourself.

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i don't know about interracial.

I am personally am not interested in that but inter-tribal is not

an issue for me. Sadly some folks would rather date outside of their

race than date others in their race but from another ethnicity.

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Marriage is also about preferences. We all have preferences whether we want to be honest about it or not.

Some people do interracial and some people don't. I would be glad when people stop giving interracial dating and marriage so much HIGHLIGHT.

Interracial dating and marriages face the same problem as racial dating and marriages.

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For me personally I wouldn't do it because I don't want biracial/bi-ethnic children, I want them to be Yoruba all the way

I feel if you are somebody that doesn't care about moving back and/or investing in Nigeria, you want to assimilate into the western world you are in, and could careless if your kids carrying on the culture and etc then go for it but if your feelings are reverse then marrying outside your ethnic/racial group may not be the best option for you.

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True but very few of them; I can tell you the stories of some non-Nigerian women who have refused to go to Nigeria with their nigerian spouces and it lead to divorce among other things

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I can only speak from my experience so far so good.

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Belive me, you think they do, but they dont. Different worlds. There are so many things that they dont understand or cant stand about each other LOL

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It is sooooooo wrong.

God made all of us different so we can identify ourselves ethnically. It is us who "cross borders" and mix and mingle to get some people who dont even what race they belong to LOL

I belive that when people, for example a Nigerian and an American get together they totally DONT understand each other. I never dated anyone outside my race or Nationality. I want him to totally understand me, language and cultural barriers may cause problems, so I say "stick to your very own" and everything will be alright.

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You will be surprise how many Nigerians and Americans understand each other. Black Americans with Africans will have a better uhmm what the word I wanna use "mingle" than other races however each cases are different.

Every African men that are my friends and colleagues they all say I am an African woman who have been Americanized and need my Bottom whoop good by an African man. Whatever.

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There may be whatever in Nigeria and if it so important to these girls who will not go back home they would have went back. It must not be all glitter.

I don't blame the girls for seizing better opportunities in the States. Smart women indeed.

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There is a lot of money to be made in Nigeria too. The profitability of certain business in Nigeria is mindboggling. But you need to have certain skills and especially capital to take advantage of it.

With that said, there are some very interesting opportunities in the US as well. You cannot go wrong with either country. Personally, I want to have a foot in both countries over the course of my career.

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Why would they leave a GOLDEN opportunity land?

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There are white and AA women would move to Nigeria with their husband. I won't do it.

Ayetty!!! You so silly! Hee hee!

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In theory there is nothing wrong with it.

But let's say you marry an African-American or white girl, they might not necessarily be interested in having your kids learn to speak your native language (in my case, Yoruba), or have names in your native language (I have zero interest in giving my kids English first names, for example.)

And what if you decide to move back to Nigeria some day? Again, most AA and white women aren't really interested in that type of stuff.

Of course, if these two issues aren't important for you, then no big deal.

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Nothing wrong with it at all! most people are just closed minded to it! God knows theres an entire difference between dating a nigerian man and dating an english dude! a huuuuuuge difference!

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I have nothing against interracially marriage or dating. It not for me. I like my meat medium to well done.

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Inter-ethnic to me is fine. I am not planning on dating interracially tho. I don't want to have to explain too much to my child about why they are "brown" and what they should consider themselves blah blah and bring them into this world being confused. I love black men too much and I want black children. Black men come in all flavors and ethnicities (African, American, Latino, Caribbean) so I don't see the need to look elsewhere. This is how I feel so. . .

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it all depends on the parties involve,One of my friends got married to a white girl and they disagree alot see, my guy wanna save money to build house,buy car and some other things at home but our lovely wife doesnt care about tomrw only today buy this,change that and one day she withdrew €4000 from the guy's account to change there furniture so like what other posters have said you should study who ever u wish to marry very well nothing really wrong about it but inter-racial marriage is not really easy i mean it

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Wrong? Neva! Jus make sure ure well informed about the other person's culture before you go into it. For instance, ma boyfriend's polish and I'm Nigerian. I'm learning polish and he's learning to eat Nigerian food. Learning things about eachother's culture is actually summin that brings us closer and closer. So is interracial or intercultural marriage wrong? No! Jus sacrifices to be made here and there.

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your family not want am because dem wise pass you and dem sabi say the love go pafuka when una begin live as man and woman.

if na for yanshing, me sef fit yansh any woman sha o

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if you marry woman wey no sabi as you dey do things the yeye love go pafuka one time

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ain't nothing wrong with it.

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There is nothing wrong in twop ppl in love, blue green pink or the whole bleeding rainbow for that matter

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I read recently that 1 in 10 US marriages are multi-cultural, (you are in the US, right?) so it seems that the society you live in and the families in it don't look down on it as much as you imagine.

Do you mean that your family would look down on it? Do you mean that Nigerian families/society look down on it? I think it depends on the family. Some are more open-minded than others.

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I agree with you both, but why do most families and many in our societies reject/look down on people for these reasons?

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the heart does not tell you who to fall in love with. there is nothing wrong in

marrying from a different race or culture. it all points down to ones preference.

i hope you find the one that was meant for you, regardless of their race or culture.

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i don't think its wrong, you marry who you are most compartible with, who you can tolorate, who you love and are comfortable with. The heart does not dictate based on ethnic or race, so i don't think ethnicity or race should be an issue

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