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Is He Just Playing Around?

hello everybody please i need Ur help my problem is:

i have a boyfriend that i love a lot from the bottom of my heart and we are together a longtime now and we even get a child(new born) but the problem is he started cheating on me with a woman who is 9 year older than him. i asked him to stop it but he keep telling me he stop it already but the woman allways call him and then they start quarreling on the phone and i don't know but i don't believe that he broke with the woman. i don't know what to do anymore cause i feel a lot of pain and i want our relation to get well like it allways was i don't wanna leave him.am waiting for u advise

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19 answers

Be careful dear so you don't make the mistake again, you don't up and have babies just like that because you are having baby blues. It is a natural feeling every woman has, at 33 I am dying to have babies but is still waiting for a husband to come along. It's unfair on the femine gender as some of us wait and wait and only watch their fertile years pass them by. I have come across a 38 years old unmarried lady that is very very depressed because of this. I wish our society is structured better than that and a lady won't have to wait like that but it is not and what can we do dear? It is good to have one's children inside a legalized marriage and afford them the great opprtunity of being trained by both their mother and father okay so keep a lid on having another baby for now until things are fixed good between you and your man and you guys are properly married

Take good care of yourself and your Baby too and it is very very important that you get something doing if you don't have already so that you will not be very dependent on him. If you are dependent on him ,it will be difficult for you when you leave him that is if he gets on being irresponsible so you need to be able to care for yourself and your baby.

    Come to think of it, if he loves you enough to leave where he was and come be with you then your love is strong and I will advise that you fight hard for what you two have, women does the gathering together in a relationship most of the time so you need patience and wisdom to get his eyes off blingy looking women. Never stop taking good care of your look, it's not easy to care for a baby, cook for your man and maintain a spotless look but it's important you keep looking fashionable for him okay Baby and never cease making him happy okay. Roman 12 ending said When you reward a person that is offending you with good that you are heaping coals of shame on them which may give them a change of heart. Wishing you happiness dear.

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@madukaele

Why are you being this hard on this lady, okay she has made the mistake. Nailing her to the cross will not make her feel better but worse. She is really worried and needs advice. There is no need crying over spilt milk and talking down on her like that.

@poster

You should have persuaded your man( I don't agree with nailing a man with pregnancy) for you two to get married when you were pregnant for his child for the babies sake so that it can be born into wedlock, I am still proud of you for having the courage to give birth to your child while unmarried in our Nigerian society where people castigate with mouth and eyes for that.

Sit him down and talk to him, You need to open your eyes very well and watch your BF to see how responsible he really is with other women. If he isn't and is always after women then save yourself more disgrace and leave him but if he is responsible, has severed ties with the other lady as he said then tell him that you need him to make a responsible woman out of you and that you two should get married even if in a marriage registry. If he has put you in the family way then he should be ready to take on his responsibility as a family man, be faithful to you in marriage and take good care of the child you two have.

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Once a cheater always a cheater. This guy does not have any respect for your relationship. Learn to move on from him, or you will remain in this vicious cycle.

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@ Cinderella thanks for Ur advice

before getting our child we discuss a lot about it u know and it was also a child wish from me to become mother at the age of 20 year u know

i have read u all and i will think about Ur advices then decide thanks a lot.MAY GOD BLESS U ALL

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I missed the part where you said you were NOT married to each other, my bad. . .

Since you're not married to him  and he has refused to change his cheating ways  . . . Dump his asss and Keep on stepping . . .

But . . . If you can keep up with a cheating boyfriend then go ahead with the relationship.

Or. . . If you feel you still want him(flaws and all), but you want him to change(unfortunately, he has to be willing to change too otherwise this won't work because you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed!) you have to find out WHY he's cheating on you:

-What has changed  nagatively  in your relationship since you started dating . . .

     -Your Sex life, Behavior, respect, Finance, . . .

-Could it be he's cheating on you because he wants out of the relationship?

If after you've talked to him and  . . . You've searched within yourself and you find out NOTHING has changed . . . You know what to do . . .

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how u go born pikin for man weh neva marry u. women and der funny life, watin u expect he don secure u now is time to secure as many as he want, u put ur self in trouble com NL d disturb us .

1 ur shape don shift (if u understand what i mean)

2 u r not too attractive again cos u just born, etc.

now u cant leave him cos u get child for him.

GURLS WAKE UP OOO

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Exhaust all ur options. . . The final thing to do is walk and take charge of ur life and dat of ur baby. . . He's not worth crying for. . . Its not easy but its worse that could happen. . .

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Let us assume he is playing around,

ask him how he will feel if you just play around like him.

Let him put the phone on speaker the next time the lady calls,so you can hear the tone of their conversation.

After that you can then make your decisions.

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My advice won't change his outlook. Have you tried speaking to the woman, just blandly inform her that his new born baby has just been born, and remind her that you are a woman just like her.

Then both of you need to sit down and talk about the bigger picture, I'm assuming you're not married, he is still referring to himself as a single man??

Do you want to get married?

Or can you cope alone, what is best right now for yourself and your baby?

If you're practically supporting yourself, maybe take some time out with your baby, if he loves you he'll find you?

Please take my advice with a pinch of salt, I'm not experienced in this area.

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For your well being and your new born. Use a condom 100% of the time or leave his cheating azz.

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@poster

communicate with your man to know whats the problem. sometimes men cheat because they are not se*xually attracted any longer to their wifeys, or just want some different toto.

if your guy doesnt want to change then there is not much you can do but to either accept the situation or leave. . . . . . . either way you are going to be loosing.

this man has very little respect for what you guys have and he takes the fact that you aint saying much for granted. the only way to solve this problem is by taking your life in your own hands and do what you feel is right by you.

although talking to this lady might help, it wont change the fact that this guy doesnt respect your relationship. he'll just go out and look for another gal.

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@ pokerface u know we hold our relation out of people cause we got a lot of bad experience with it

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yeah we live together since we started the relation normally he live in a different contry but he left everything to come and leave with me

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Inform his family and your family (or your pastors) about it

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we did but is not sounding clear to me what he said

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Yu need 2 sit him down & have a serious talk about it.

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^Do u guys live 2gether?

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