Why must a married man have a girl friend i.e a sinful partner outside his matrimony home?
And 2 becomes 1 in holy matrimony. I guess as long as half feels good and the other half feels like they've been poisoned, its not that bad. This is what you are implying. How infidelity is good for a husband's self esteem and therefore good for his wife. I'm sure there are better ways to build self esteem that will not be detrimental to the other half.
Have wives stopped giving their husbands sex?so you are doing it for the wife? Taking one for the team? Interesting. Tell me more about these selfless acts you perform.
Most guys do it because they can. Unfortunately its that simple and 50 percent our fault as women. What is culture? Practise over a long period of time, and at a point it becomes acceptable. If you want to get rid of this repugnant and demeaning practise, stop giving permission. Kick him out. If its not something you are comfortable with, why condone it? I'm gonna say something I'm gonna get plenty of grief for. If women were cheating on their husbands even half as much as husbands cheated on their wives. 2 things will happen. Men would no longer marry or men would stop cheating. They will tell you they can't take it emotionally and psychologically, that you can cos God has made you stronger. Its a lie. It affects us women just as bad, we just die inside slowly, unaware of the horrific scars we carry inside us.
Its completely understandable why you have come to this conclusion but my sister o HIV. This is an issue our grandmothers did not have to deal with. In this day and age, we cannot afford to turn a blind eye to indiscretions. Our lifes may depend on it. I'm not yet married but it will horrify you the rates at which men and women are being infected in the matrimonial homes. Its as if single people are even safer cos of fear.
Am a woman bt lemme air my view 2 be faithful n monogamy is nt in men's blood dt ar polygamous in nature d truth is dis many married women lik me cahse dia hubby out wit nagging,dirtiness,arogancy,not giving dem gud food jst d oda day 1 of ma client's complained 2 me dt his wifedont like kissng him dt his reason of keeping a girl dt kiss him like 2moro neva dy ,most succesfl men ar being seduced by women out dia.somtimes itis nt dia intention 2 cheat bt dy need our prayers I mean d women n wives 2 be on d right track.prayer is d tool 4 holdng ur man 2 monogamy cos itis not in dia blood even d white men ,black red man all ar polygamous in nature
It may not be tradition but think about it, As much as men love their wives ( yes I m marrried) a little bit of excitment on the side really does improve the way we feel about our selves as a result we treat our wives better. The reason is simple. We are less irritated because we have sex more. There are seveveral good reasons why women should be more accomodating. If you want to dicuss this further visit my blogg
I have just started this blogg site. There's much to discuss on the subject - plus I have lots to tell you regarding my own views and experiences, join me with an open mind !!
I'm female. The only reason why these guys have girlfriends outside their matrimonial homes is coz there are girls out there that are willing to be degraded for various reasons-greed being the main one!!! i blame the girls that let themselves be "girlfriends" coz last-last guys will be controlled by those three things that dangle between their legs. it's left for us gurls to have our pride and help them stick it in the right place-and we all know that that place can only be located on their wives that they knock up and dump at home!!!!
its no tradition or there is no reason for married people to do this. People get married 4 diifferent reasons without considering some personal desired qualities in their partners eg openmindness, freedom of expression in anyway, reasoning. assessment on sexual topic. I beliv couples shd always discuss everything about themselves including what might prompt them 2 cheat on their partners. pls this issue needs to be address cos its no more a tradition but one of the "must do" of our society.
Exactly what am asking the Men? We ladies (Women) are God's sent to the world, Imagine without the women; the world would have been a battle field for the men. But the women always have a say in anything they are doing; claiming their bad temperament down and so no. KUDOS!!! to the women.
Men should always release that the women are the salt to their heart even sugar sef.
First and Foremost,How many married men are here?I want u to beat your chest and say since you have been you havent gone out?may be very few,even only few women can beat their chest.The truth is dat we should pray for Gods grace against temptation cos going out of marriage is a very big sin called Adultry.
Please lets be careful
EVE is as innocent as the Angel. God Created man in the Garden gave man instructions which man pass on to the wife. Even before creation of Eve, God usually have fellowship with man. Man has known God better than Eve (woman).
The question is:
WHERE IS THE MAN? When Eve ate the apple?.[/b]Answer:: Is because Man was and still is Irresponsibly, hence chasing Eve (woman) every where.
[b]WHEN EVE GAVE MAN THE APPLE, WHY DID MAN EAT IT?
Answer: Because they want to test every apple in the world – hence disobeying God again by not keeping his commandment which says “DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY”
Eve eat the apple and left for the husband (good woman), she was not and still is not selfish. But the Husband did not reject rather always looking for an excuse “ IT IS THE WOMAN” where you blind when you where eating the apple Adam?
I strongly blame the Man in our society today for every wrong happening.
it is never a tradition for a married man to have a girl friend, just that we have selfish men in this part of the world, they are selfish because they dont have the fear of GOd.
is not their fault anyway, it is the sinful nature of man (i.ehuman) to sin and fornication is part of it. if there is anybody that have such problem tell the person to receive christ, that is the only person that can make us rigtheous.
Yes it is wrong 4 any1 to have extra marital affair.
But why must men always be blamed 4 all the woes in the world? If you believe in he Bible, a woman by the name Eve started all this wahala. We talk about size of Joysticks never that of Kitty-cats, we talk about men infidelity never the contributions of women to it. Pls enough is enough. If you ve problem with your man going outside, take a good look at urself and ask yourself questions b4 blaming the man. Women are almost as worst as men. What a man can do they say women can do better.
It takes 2 to tangle. Women are as guilty as men.
A simple explanation may be that ladies often have more sex when younger than men. So the man is trying to catch up. Women only settle down in their late 20s or 30 and above. B4 then, they are always firing on all cylinders.
NOT FOR OR AGAINST
But even in the bible, in Islam and past history man have always had more than one wife/girlfriend.
I think is time we seat down as people in Nigeria and the world at large to look at this issue. I strongly believe among the two (man & woman) one may not be getting enough of some that is leading to the problem at hand.
The ratio of Married ladies to Single ladies is 1:100
They are legions and everly available. Without self control and genuine fear of God, it is almost impossible to overcome.
Every married men has faced this norm in our society, but some didn't fall for it.
Ultimately, I believe your wife should be able to give you EVERYTHING you want in a woman. That is the main reason why we men should marry
Guys, please let me know if am wrong.
The day i read about FORNICATION AND ADULTERY in the BIBLE, i was afraid and decided to tell my husband and leave him to his conscience.
The Holy Bible said that whosoever commit sin either anger,stealing does it to hurt his fellow BUT whoever commit FORNICATION OR ADULTERY sins against his own flesh and THE TEMPLE OF GOD.The BIBLE ALSO ASKED IF YOU CAN TURN THE TEMPLE OF GOD TO THE TEMPLE OF A LovePeddler AND HE SAID (GOD FOBBID).I pray that our MEN discovers themselves and know that any women they meet at any time that is not their wife brings problems and disaster to their life which might manifest now or later.
I PRAY THAT HOLY SPIRIT WILL INTERPRETE THIS TO ALL THE MEN THAT READS THIS
AMEN AND AMEN
I heard a man today, when asked why he had to have a child from his mistress (she orchestrated the pregnancy, not him) he said because, his wife only had boys and no girl. When his friends asked him if his wife was aware of the "outside" child he shivered and begged all of them not to tell.
I think a real man, saint or sinner MUST own up to his misdeeds ANYWHERE ANYTIME. Don't blame it on anyone else. Learn to say, "Yes, I did it and nobody forced me, i just felt like doing it.
If your wife takes a walk, it's just a consequence of your action and you can choose to go and beg her or not. Accept the blame, face the consequences and move Ahead. Gbam!
am with you on wanting my man to be just as attractive to me as he expects me to be to him. I'm lucky enough to have one of those men that believes in this truly (He's Indian go figure!). What I meant was, while it's "easier" for most women to condone their spouses being less "attractive" as when they met them (I think this is because women value intimacy and trust in their spouse over appearance. How many women have you seen walking around with rather unattractive men? A whole bunch!), our society feels if a man puts on weight and develops what I call "michelin neck" it is a sign that he is "chopping life" but our men expect us to look 100% all the time forgetting this is a human being you married and human beings are fallible. This isn't only in our culture. It's everywhere. If a woman is lucky to have a spouse that puts in an equal amount of work in the marriage as she then she is def. blessed (Your mum is a lucky woman just like my mum. My dad made sure he was always fresh and made sure he put in just as much work as my mum including doing house hold chores and getting us ready for school. This made him more of a man IMHO!). But so few men are that way these days so more often than not we have to settle for 80% or 85%. Does that suck? Yes. Can we do anything concrete about it right now? No, I don't see how.
Yes we can do something about it----stay away from marriage!
I think married men now or unmarried men then were once seduced and appreciated by now married women. Why do women always want to have their cake and eat it too? It baffles me a lot. So the seduced and gotten men before are now weak men? C'mon lady, do you know I've got a wife? It doesn't matter but now it matters!! What goes around comes around and since we all flirted and messed up before marriage, why the hullabaloo? It's a case of one of the two elements keeping a low profile depending when the other is weak in finances or health and it gets its nature fully out. We all know few people married with virginity intact, and now someone is a judge.
I have read u guys opinions. I want to comment on those that see the situation as adultery. If a married man or woman practice sex outside marriage, it is adultery from the religious aspect of it, fine. What about unmarried boys/girls practising sex here & there? Is this situation not equal to that of married men/women? One thing is that we try to hide our faults while exposing others. The only promise I have for those that say that man will not eat only one soup is that their children will follow their footsteps because kids learn fast by following the character of the people around them especially their parents. Morally, traditionally, religiously etc, it is wrong to practice sex before & outside marriage. SAY NO TO SEX BEFORE & OUTSIDE MARRIAGE & IT SHALL BE WELL WITH U!
I will only say that it is not an African tradition for men to have many sexual partners, I just wish African women will stop blaming the men.
1) It's not restricted only to African men, if not well-known western leaders will not be having sexual partners outside marriage and also the divorce rate in the west due to infidelity will not be as high.
2) Some African women will go to any extent to attract the attention of a man that they know is already married.
African women must also seriously check their own behaviours.
omoovie, while I really agree with your post, your line about him looking like Pa Ajascio is a little off. If women are expected to still try to look good after marriage, childbirth ayda yada, I expect the guy to also put effort in looking good and staying quite fit.
My dad's going to be 60 in a couple of years and I can swear to you, many people tell me he looks no more than 41. He's quite obsessed with staying healthy and my mom defeinitely appreciates it.
If I was a Rainbow, I'll show my colours for YOU
If I was a song bird, I'll sing my song for YOU
If You take the sun and moon
And take away the stars at night
Your faithful word
Will always be my guide
Beautiful, such a miracle
That you would give up heaven just for me
And all i wanna do is fall more in Love with YOU
This world doesn't hold me anymore
But one thing that I do know for sure----
Repeat Chorus and verse till fade---
@ rasputin: That's too funny! If you are like those men I know sha, big ups to you too. Your wife will be very happy! I rep Bendel 24/7 oh! You wan try?! He he he!
@ tj2000: You are welcome to borrow tips from my post but sha give author ihn credit. LOL. I second what you said 100%. It's all self discipline and guys need to understand just as dem dey eye omoge, we too our eye dey stray, but most of us stay faithful because of what? self discipline.
This topic amongst naija peeps always makes me laugh. The men have their opinion and the women have theirs. Even in America fa they have an entire CHRISTIAN religion that practices polygamy! They are called "mormons" and are a sect of "Church of Latter Day Saints". I'm not fibbing. This is true. They are all over Utah and it sounds like a nasty western Amok cult as far as I'm concerned not just because they practice polygamy but because of all the other issues that arise from such backwardness. It is a platform for craddle-robbers, egomaniacs, revolting Inbreeding and oppression to run rampant! Sha, that's off topic.
It's not a tradition for a man to have girlfriends outside. It was once and still is in some areas in naija socially acceptable for a man to have several wives. That's not a problem for me oh. It won't be my choice but kudos to whichever man wants to take on the strain. However, if polygamy is ok then I propose that polyandry should be equally fine and dandy. And if your wife is no longer appealing to you she's not a melu melu that can't understand. That's your wife. Tell her your qualms. Tell her you'd like her to do the things she once did that attracted you to her in the first place. That's called "communication". Sorry to say but you guys take the first, cowardly option out which is to cheat rather than work it out with your spouse. I've seen gorgeous men, men with shishi, class and charisma that happen to be faithful to their spouse. It's not perfection. It's doable.
For the women: It's very easy for us to fall into that level of routine/comfortability once we are married. We assume nothing can change, we're together for life. We start messing in his presence, tying wrappa and leaving our hair anyhow like we would when we are with our sisters or brothers. Well, your relationship with your husband is not the same as your relationship with your siblings so don't treat him like one. While we find it easy to find something about our spouse that turns us on even when he's developed a pot belle a la papa Ajasco and he's hair is relocating to his nose and his back, men are not exactly wired that way and our society condones very different standards for men and women. My advise is every once in a while surprise him. Men like danger and adventure se? Show up at his work one day in a wig, high heels and the sexiest dress you can wear without looking like an igbagwe prostitute. The next month make it a habit to give him a full on goodbye kiss once a week then grab his Bottom and send him off to work. No other omoge will be on his mind besides you. I bet you he will be your slave for life! I know I've seen it work!
From my understanding of what the post imply is to do with cheating on the marriage not poligamy. In the early life there as polygamy but no infidelity and if you study early life well there was were political, economical reasons behind poligamy and the most important of all was men then are real men, faithful, bold, strong etc.
Dont you think your post is incomplete,should av asked the ladies how many of 'em can beat their chest and say they've never cheated on a guy @ one time in their lives (probably hasn't happened/didn't happen to you)
Infidelity is not synonymous with the male folk,it's found in both sexes,a person that has self control and discipline will never be moved to compromise no matter how semi Unclad a babe dresses or how pretty she may appear.
Wisdom is the key,the beginning of which is the fear of God(even if na small fear of God ma sef,e go carry you thru)