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Is It Me Or Her?

Please peeps i want you all to advise me on what i can do. You may criticise me if i’m wrong, but honestly i’m really getting tired of all these love-quarrels my babe and i always have.

I have been very busy studying for my exams for the past month or so. I try to talk to her at least for 10 minutes each day. Recently, i had a look at my life here. I noticed that i don’t have a social life. All my days are spent at skool, even on weekends. I wake up each day, have my bath, eat, go to the skool library to study, go for classes, head back home, eat, and sleep. Same process the following day and on weekends. My baby told me that she feels are hearts are growing apart, cos i really do not have anything to tell her about myself anytime i call, and i told her i dont like that one bit. I said maybe it was due to the fact that i was studying too hard and i need a break.

Yesterday, i was with a couple of my dudes. We were working on an assignment which was due yesterday and we had been at it for hours. I had ealrier in the day sent my babe a text, tel,ling her that i was so busy and that if i could, i’ll still call her. around 6pm our time here(which was 11pm min naija), she called me. I told her i was still busy and that i’ll talk to her today. She then told me that she loves me. Why i decided not to reply her back i don’t know, but she said i didn’t reply. I always say so anytime we want to hang up, but maybe due to the pressure of what i was doing and being in the midst of other guys, i decided not to. When i hung up, knowing the kida girl she is, i sent her a text telling her i lovd her too. I thot it had ended there.

This morning, she woke me up telling me she didn’t like what i did, she was heartbroken, this, that. I was like why was she raking for me just because i didn’t reply her, but she kept on raking. I said i was sorry and she hung up.

When i called her again this evening, she continued. She told me that the way i was behaving, that it seemed as if i was with another girl and that i didn’t want to offend the said girl, that i should put myself in her shoes, and that she wonders why i cannot say “i love you” to my fiancee infront of my friends. I was pretty much getting annoyed at that point, but i tried not to shout on her. she went on saying that sending that text even added salt to injury. I told her i was sorry. I thot it had ended, on my way home she sent me a text, and i quote

“Think about it, No matter how busy u are right now, take 5 mins to think about your actions yesterday. Knw that my whole weekend is terrible cos of this. I hope i get over it on time.”

I’m really getting depressed about the whole attitude thingy. I know it’s not easy yfor her, as it is not easy for me either for us to be so far apart from each other, but i’m getting tired of always telling her i’m sorry over every incident, even if i’m right or wrong. All these lovey-dovey behaviours of hers, i’ve tried talking to her about them, but it seems she’s adamant.

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15 answers

2 of u need to grow up n start screwing others cos u obviously cant handle the test, plus am sure she is a virgin

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@Poster,

Dis long distance relationship sef.

She fit dey there dey waya & still dey form virgin mary for you.

All those babes wey no dey gree sorry, na dem dey commit pass.

Abeg bone am!

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we talk everyday for at least 20 mins. i guess that's where i spoilt her cos she's too used to those calls. if i don't call her she'll be getting fever. even as we had an arguement yesterday, she was the first to give me a call this morning, telling me to pls call that she wasn't feeling well.

Dnt worry, na u go be the chief organizer and the mother-of-the-day.

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Oyinda, we do not fight constantly. i feel she is just behaving like a baby, and she needs all reassurancethat i still luv her and am coming back for her. we've all heard about what long distance relationships end u like, and i think it is all that fear that gets to her. i just don't like all the lovey thingy all the time. thanx for ur opinion though.

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klassyguy,

you have created a topic on your relationship situation before. i think earlier this year or late last year.

to tell you the truth, your relationship is failing and it's BOTH OF YOU.  You need to re-check if you are both compatible for each other.

think about it you are far apart and fight constantly. what makes u think that when u get back together everything will go smoothly?

try to recollect the times when you were still together and ask yourself what part of her attitude has changed? did she used to be patient with you? etc

i don't want to tell you to move on with your life but

this text she sent you for example:

that's very selfish in my opinion. tell her that your weekend is also terrible from the guilt she always make u feel. it seems she only thinks about herself in this relationship and not about you and how YOU feel. that's selfishness IMO.

like you said, it has happened before and she laughed about it. why did she get mad this time around?

i only know your side of the story and don't know hers.

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blah blah blah.

focus on your studies young man. you don't have time for girls or their wahala right now. especially one that is so bleeping far away.

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Just keep on with the apologies,its just the strain of the distance.

If she keeps on raking give her a day or two to cool off.

I know you are stressed out but try and be calm weneva you talk to her.

Best of luck.

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i know long-distance relationships are not easy, especially on the part of the lady, but i know what i came here for, and atimes being a man, i don't always feel in the mood for all these lovey dovey talks.

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Let her keep fussing. When she Is tired she will cool down.

You have apologised twice. What else again does she want?

She is even lucky to have a bobo like you.

My boo, apologise for not saying back to me 'Funke I love you too'.

impossicant!!!

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this is what i always do. i don't know why she fusses alot.

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LOL.

So just because you didn't say 'I love you' at the end of the phone call? Lol

It's just a petty argument and your babe is acting immature.

Have been in long dist relationship and I can't remember making a fuss over 'I love you'

Next time you are busy with your coursework, put your phone on silent and text her you are busy with school work and you will call her later. Simple!

You should be firm(yet loving() with your girlfriend and not her holding you by the balls.

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Thanx Missy B. Infact i had apologised immediately she called yesterday morning to rake. She even thot i was mad at her about 15 mins later when i was in the bathroom and couldn't pick up the fone, and she left a voice message. i replied her via text immediately sayin i was in the bathroom. i called her again in the afternoon and that was when her boiling resumed. all this while i was saying i was sorry. i still sent her a text this morning when i went out for my jog. but the thing is that i really wonder whether there are times when i have to man up, cos i know i said i was sorry so numerous number of times, and a point will come when one will start getting angry when with all the sorrys, one's babe keeps on raking.

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That is exactly what happened. i didn't want to exchange i luv u i luv u infront of my friends then, that's why i sent her the text. this is not the first time i wouldn't reply such to her, but i dnt knw why she took this one so personal. i've done it sometimes but we always laugh over it. but this one was different. besides i always say it, and i told her i couldn't reply her at that point. she's that kinda girl that goes all so mushy mushy with all these luvy dovey attitudes and sometimes i'm not in the mood for all that, especially if i'm hooked up in something or the other at that point.

thanks for the advice though.

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yup it is you and it's your fault because long distance relationship make the mind imagine all types of things. By you not repeating the "i love you

" would make anyone think you were chilling with other girls and you should have gotten up and went to another room or area to chat with your girl. truth be told i have almost had something like that happen to me too but my girl knew that i was at work and i didn't want to be all mushy exchanging i love you in front of my co workers. I think you should seriously apologize though you don't feel you are at fault but you created a situation which created doubt in her mind. i mean never mind being away from her and all the potential girls you can be hooking up with then not saying the one thing that gives her comfort. it's your fault own it quickly before it gets out of hand and go to another room when you chat with her so you don't have to compromise your macho attitude

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