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Is It Right To Ask Your Partner About Their Past Relationship?

Dear All,

How do you feel knowing about your partner's Ex-Partner?

You realy love someone, you ussually would want to know details of her past relationship?

Is it right to ask about a partners past repationship?

If its ok, are there limits?

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15 answers

It's not ideal to ask that question most expecially from girls. It can be annoying sometimes.

It is possible to ask and on answering the question, ur love for him/her might becomes so flexible than ever before, due to the answer.

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would not ask unless she chooses to tell me? though i need to know y they broke.

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@MoOdYLaDy, you said it all.

in a relationship, i'll really like to know d cause of break-up so i don't go the same direction(that is if i really like him).but if a girl is going all the way disclosing her past,i think it must be a mutual decision.

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Yes, it is okay to ask but without the "intimate" details. Things like reasons for past breakups and incompartiblities could make present relationship/s stronger. Avoid any "juicy" details that might be used as evidence against you in the future.

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Well it depend on the type of relationship i have with the guy, if it something that isn't serious, then am not telling you poo about my past, because most of these naija guys act so immature, they will throw it back in your faces, especially if your happen to get into an argument.

But if it’s a serious relationship knowing it probable going lead to the altar then I will surly tell him  about my past, something’s I know might/will hurt us down the line if I don’t speak up and I will ask about his also, because if am trying to spend the rest of my life with someone, then I got to know everything he has done in his life, both good and bad

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see nothing wrong with that.

I'll ask him about his past relationship, I wanna know how and why it ended.

gives me more ideas about what I'm getting into.

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@eezzy:

Thank you!

@post:

We really must realize that the times in which we live are different from the times of our grandparents.  Our expectations of others as well as those things which we, ourselves, have to offer might or might not be shared values.  It is, however, those shared values that are of most consequence. 

Examples? Certainly, it matters (or rather, it should matter to you) if the person you're considering having sex with has him/herself had unprotected sex with 30 other people.  You need to be aware if this person has engaged in behaviours that are potentially harmful, e.g., illicit drug use.  Ladies, it is imperative to be aware if a guy has a history of physically abusing his partners. 

These are but a few things that are important with respect to one's past.  And, likewise, an awareness of another's past need not be only cautionary.  Such can also be a means to affirm and reinforce compatibility.  Which is why I suggest that an honest sharing of such information is the most advantageous situation.

Now, suppose someone balks at providing reciprocal information about him/herself.  That should be a warning to you.  Either that person has something to hide, or that person is afraid of giving you something to use against him/her.  Regardless, at that point, don't give any more info about yourself, lest it be used against you!

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yes there is nothing bad knowing your partner's past life

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The only thing i would like to know is why they broke up.

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I feel there are times when its necessary to tell present partners of past relationships e.g if u have a child from it or were married etc.

But if its not really necessary, then i would keep shtum. Its so sad that when u try and be truthful with people, they use it against you.

So i keep some stuff to maself.

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Some ladies have a problem with the sex talk - past, present and future.

Sometimes, its the effect of society - lady should not be a freak blah blah.

Atimes, they think its what the men want to hear. 'if i tell him, he might loose respect' 'he might not love me' she thinks. If you know your partner well enough and vice versa, it shouldn't be a problem and the freedom can be sweet!!

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I totally agree with drionelli. The problem in this prospect of finding out about

each others past is expectation. While most women will expect the worst, most

men want to believe the lady should be a saint and anything to the contrary can

turn them off the lady completely.

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Agree with the three previous posters

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I think she should provide that information to you only on the provision that you provide such information about your past to her.

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It's fine; I see nothing wrong in it.

Both parties decide the limit - can go as far as possible.

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