«Home

Is It Right To Go Out With Your Close Friend?

u have a friend, u are very very close 2 each other , as a guy is it right to ask her out, or if u are a female will u welcome dat as in can u also date him?

Avatar
Newbie
43 answers

u definately won't go out wit an enemy. It sure is difficult goin out wit a close friend cos there's a high tendency of finding out more abt the person that may piss u off than u know wen u guys are in the platonic and dealing with such circumstances can be pretty difficult cos u are neck deep in it, if u knw wat i mean. Basically,i think it all depends on the maturity of the dudes involved but my verdict is that it is better dating sum1 u knw (close friend) than a total stranger.

0
Avatar
Newbie

What ever it is ? It is happened to me before and was abt happening again? bt i think the first came with a right motive and the second may be a wrong one, am nt sure, I was getting into it? shared some lil kisses bt it came to a time, I had to back out, Does True Friends transform to Gr8 Lovers?,

0
Avatar
Newbie

The million dollar question will now be how do you know if the felling is mutual?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Nice contributions 4m diffrent perspective.

I can tell u boldly that i'm a victm of dis topic.

And my story,

when i was in skol in my very 1st semester, i had a friend n we are very special n found of each other plantonically. But my friends didn't believe there was nothing btw us because of our closeness. Immediatly we sight each other we leave wateva we may be doin to give each other miximum attension, esply wen either of us look dull or not happy. We were like dt for good 2yrs. But 1 thing led to another in d 3yr which propel me to approach her on my birthday outing and she put me on hold (lik a mobile phone) 4 sme month prcisely d followed Valentine day. And eva since den she has been being my only conforter among human being. I love her endlessly infact unexpresingly n vise versa. And God willing we are ending up in marriage because she has all i want in a woman.

And to dis end i will say there is no big deal in it infact if u will not say it because i'm a victim, i will say dts hw it should be sincere all dt everybody want in his/her relationship or marriage is happiness, joy and happy home. And where or who else can offer u dis other dan smeone u call a special friend dt understand u beta dan any other person.

If u can't marry ur friend who else do u want to marry? ur Enermy or a Stranger? Don't 4get a relationship has to start 4m smewhere.

Good luck!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Nice contributions 4m diffrent perspective.

I can tell u boldly that i'm a victm of dis topic.

And my story,

when i was in skol in my very 1st semester, i had a friend n we are very special n found of each other plantonically. But my friends didn't believe there was nothing btw us because of our closeness. Immediatly we sight each other we leave wateva we may be doin to give each other miximum attension, esply wen either of us look dull or not happy. We were like dt for good 2yrs. But 1 thing led to another in d 3yr which propel me to approach her on my birthday outing and she put me on hold (lik a mobile phone) 4 sme month prcisely d followed Valentine day. And eva since den she has been being my only conforter among human being. I love her endlessly infact unexpresingly n vise versa. And God willing we are ending up in marriage because she has all i want in a woman.

And to dis end i will say there is no big deal in it infact if u will not say it because i'm a victim, i will say dts hw it should be sincere all dt everybody want in his/her relationship or marriage is happiness, joy and happy home. And where or who else can offer u dis other dan smeone u call a special friend dt understand u beta dan any other person.

If u can't marry ur friend who else do u want to marry? ur Enermy or a Stranger? Don't 4get a relationship has to start 4m smewhere.

Good luck!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Goldmann,

i feel your analysis,rite on target.

@real demi,

can feel your pain,

had a situation that almost look like that except my mum always told me bhind closed doors to disregard woteva she said in public with respect to the girl.nice your dad saw your point.that musta been a blessing i guess.

anyways your relationship with his mother will  be determined by how the guy took your refusal,am thinking they just took the decision without even seeking his consent not only urs.

@numen,

hmm,your analysis na gbam!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@aisha2

its a pity things turned out d way they did(take h@ dear) but let ur story be a lesson 2all nd especially nairalanders. NEVA give-in to any relationship to please someone/somepeople or under pressure.

That said, I believe dating ur best friend is d best thing dat can happen to u. Provided d two of u feel d same way about takin d relationship 2 anoda level. My current girlfriend was my best friend and believe me, our Love is something out of Romance Novels. And we are seriously planning on getting married soon.

To know if she feels d same about u, watchout for this clues(they r not absolute indicators but will guide you)

1. When she frequently calls/txt u (girls dnt normally do that unless they dig u)

2. When she is eager to tell u about her ups & downs and is eager to know about yours, and profers advice.

3. When she gives u her time and is not bothered she is spending it with u.(They need that time 4 potential Chikers, if they spend it with u, I guess they have found there dream Chiker.)

4. When she gives u an indepth detail of her recent chiker/chikers and how she ditched them(be careful here some might just be looking to create a list of guys ditched, and if u Toast then, guess wat, u r next on d list. Tricky huh)

5. When she writes u a txt finishing it with 143. Without saying whether it means I(1) Love(4) You(3) or I(1) Like(4) You(3). Of cause she will like u for her 2b ur friend. But wat if she feels Love instead of Likeness.

6. You just have to put your ears and senses to d ground, cos when they love they give out signals unknown/known to them. Signals like ever ready to be there 4u(Physically and emotionally[excluding sex]). Not easily annoyed/pissed of when u 4ck up(minor ones though) because they dont want to overreact and loose u in their burst of anger.

Have u heard of the Phrase "A friend in need, id a friend indeed" A woman in love is the true personification of that phrase.

Good Luck Ya'll.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@real demi

I had a childhood friend, we were so close and very good friends. We were also family friends as well as neighbors. One two, one two, our mothers saw how close we were and started making statements and insinuations. My Mom tried with me but I brushed it off, but his mother succeded in convincing him and he started asking me out, i kept insisting that we are good friends and a relationship would ruin our friendship but everyone around me thought it was a match made in heaven. he kept asking me out for almost two years then I had boyfriend issues and i finally agreed to go out with him. His mother is one of the sweetest people you will meet in this life and i love her so much and take her like my mom.

However, me and him were terrible as a couple, when we were friends, his womanising never bothered me, but gradually i realised that he was a chronic womaniser. I held on for years because i did not want to hurt our parents but early this year his paople came to ask for my hand in marriage without informing me am sure the felt they didnot need to consult me because we were a couple for a long time. AT that point I realised that i could not live with his habit, so I said No. Everyone was shocked, Only my Dad kind of expected it because am close to him and am sure he must have guessed because he will always drop hints on the subject.

The long and short of it now is that, I have lost a good friend, and our families have some kind of strainous relationship. I have not been able to go home since that time because I can't go home without going to see his mom. She is still very hurt by my actions and feels betrayed.

That is the price am still paying

0
Avatar
Newbie

WELL TO ME THAT'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! COS AT FRIENSHIP STAGE BOTH OF YOU WILL KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL, THE LIKES AND DISLIKES SO FROM THERE U MOVE ON, I THINK IS THE BEST!

0
Avatar
Newbie

It actually depends on so many factors,but it depends on your so called friend,to some its the best relationship they have ever had,while to others its the complete opposite.

Sometimes,when you ask your close frnds out,they think it is an indecent proposal,they think you lot have been too close and they never expected that from you.

What i suggest you do is that you study the so called friend,because he/she can have thesame feelings towards you and may not know how to express their feelings.

0
Avatar
Newbie

if i'm feeling him then i dont see why not,

i've heard ppl say that best friends make the best lovers

0
Avatar
Newbie

-. . . . .subcribing to trend-

0
Avatar
Newbie

On a serious not nairalanders. Your best friend is your best bet.

With your best friend there is this closeness you have, you know each other better and understand yourselves, you can work hand in hand to make something out of nothing, you have this thing going on well, this will avoid break ups, divorce, quarellings, etc cause you'll know what each of you like and dont like, you got me? Dating each other is not a bad idea but what is bad in it is when you indulge in premarital sex which isd fornication, you sin against your body.

So therefore i'll advice that if you find yourself in such a situation and you know you are ready for it(marriage as the case may be) then just let it out i'm the other will like you too.

0
Avatar
Newbie

YES, it is the best. I'm also getting married to a very close friend(my best friend). I've known her for over 4 years before we started dating for 2 years now. By December, we'll be Mr and Mrs Naijapikin. Before her, I've been in various unsuccessful relationships. She was always trying to amend my relationships for me( we discuss everything together) then and I was also helpng her with hers. We never thought we'll ever date each other. I have never felt love this way. We understand each other so much that we now 'look alike'. We have no problem with understanding each other. What of love? My fellow nairalanders, our love dey make me kolo seriously.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I don't see anything wrong with it, but u should know that some people are better off as friends, they just don't work out as couples, try not to ruin ur friendhsip in anyway,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hmmmm, no be only you dey dis saga o.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I go out with my close friends all the time I dont see anything wrong with going out with your close friend/s unless you have something else in mind. As long as it's for fun, dinner or play. You may ruin the relationship though if you lack prudence. If you are interested in her(in most cases) or him, then know what you want and go for it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

neednt say much

the best thing is to go out with ur friend.

but u must first be sure of ursef and ur girl so that u wont spoil everything.

0
Avatar
Newbie

the person i'm dating right now was my very close friend and he still his. i think it's always good when u're friends b4 d intimacy.

you tend to understand each other more and better. we've been intimate now for 5yrs and getting married next yr.

maybe i'll say for me it's the best.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There is nothing wrong with dating someone who has been your close friend especially if the feeling you have towards each other is mutual. As for me, I have to know what type of person I'm dealing with, hence, friendship first.

0
Avatar
Newbie

aisha2 , dont keep licking your wounds, get over it quick, e go just weigh u

0
Avatar
Newbie

My own experince was not a good one but it could differ from person to person. We were best friends but a lousy couple. Still paying the price for a bad relationship

0
Avatar
Newbie

well i won,t do it if i were to be in such a situation cos things may not workout and i may not go back being good friends with the person after wards.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i don't think it is worth the risk except you know that you really love that person if not it would only spoil the friendship and trust.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Ldales

I quite agree with you. Friendship is the best foundation for love. Your lover must first be your bestfriend, your confidant etc. So when all things go wrong, the love built on friendship will keep you going.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Personally i think it's not such a bad idea cos u really should be friends with someone before going out with em. However, if as d girl a guy's asking u out and d thought hasn't crossed ur mind before then u definitely don't love him so don't try it oooo. However, if u've been thinking about it then u guys can try it but know that ur friendship will never be the same again.

All said you should only date ur very good friend if you're 100% certain that you have stronger feelings for him/her.

As per the person that said guys only befriend girls for one thing, dats totally untrue my man. It's not like dat for all of us. U need to turn to God bro.

Lastly for my sista dats calling and texting a guy and not getting d same level of response. Free the guy cos while we won';t tell u to bugger off, guys r slightly intimidated and confused by a girl being the aggressor in d relationship. Leave him for a while and u'll see that he'll be the one to start doing the calling if he's interested. IF he doesn't then you'll know he was never interested.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i have read everyone's comments, and its amazing what peoples convictions are. Lets start from here, would anybody want to date someone he/she doesnt know, Lets take it deeper, per chance you get to marry this person, and you were not friends before you start dating, u begin to discover some traits in the person after you have gotten married, and then often times, there is divorce, which could have been avoided.

Secondly,if you date your friend, there is a friendship foundation, which makes things easier for both of you. Sex is compulsory in any marriage, and then when both cant have sex again, what happens, there is a tendency that they 'look' outside, but the friendship they have built way back is what comes into play now, Girls that say 'i cnat date you cos we are already friends end up dating the wrong people, and having broken hearts, trust me, this works, I stand to be corrected.

0
Avatar
Newbie

It depends on what individual want. But the most important thing is to believe in God, have the fair of God and understand the purpose, meaning of every relationship.

Having your friend spouse or others means that you are to understand your self very well and even relate well.

So let us ask ourself, who is a friend and who is your lover?

We are talking about very important topic

0
Avatar
Newbie

poster

personally If I am in your situation I would not try. Real friends are hard to find as Naja said. There could be a possibility that over a length of time if the feeling is mutual circumctances would bring you two more close.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i'm in a situation where i like this boyand i dont know if i'm pushing too much.

i am the one who calls him but he says he doesnt mind.

when he sends mi texts, its always staight to the point.

do u think i should stop calling

what do u think

0
Avatar
Newbie

It depends on how close this friend is.I think it's important for people to become friends b4 they become lovers.That way the relationship has a greater possibility of succeeding.Many times close friends cannot help it,especially if there is a mutual attraction between them.

But again this raises another question:Are lovers not supposed to be close friends?

Someone please help me out.

0
Avatar
Newbie

If u feel comfortable why not, but for me i dont like it, my close friends remain friends

0
Avatar
Newbie

go out wit whoeva u please and make sure u bring segz into it so az to zeal the relationship

0
Avatar
Newbie

Its alot of fun going out with good friends of the opposite sex, I believe in platonic friendships, unless I see him as a 'brother' figure, and he starts liking me more , then its awhole different situation, and i probably would be uncomfortable,

love & light

0
Avatar
Newbie

If your close friend wants it, why not? Ladder jumping theory is nothing but a joke theory.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Naje Haje,

i'm aiight, and you?

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Saucekid

how you doing babe?

0
Avatar
Newbie

review the relationship you have with her.

if you two start dating and it doen't work out will your friendship still be intact?

if not; then don't bother. (Real) Friends are hard to find.

0
Avatar
Newbie

well I do think it depends on the situation at hand, personally I think there is no harm in trying, if its right or not depends on opinon, to me there is nothing wrong in it. Though the asking party must realise, that there it takes a lot of things to make a relationship work, its a different ball game from 'just' freindship.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i am in that dilenma!!! if i sort myself out then i will respond!!!

Attimes a platonic relationship is better preserved than the wahala of an intimate relationship!!! cheerio

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.