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Is It Strange That I Don't Want A Church Wedding?

Most women look forward to the day that they would be seen in their wedding gowns.

When a lot of people will come to honour them.

As bizzare and strange as it may sound,I don't know why but I am not crazy about a church wedding.

I just want a quiet wedding!

How do I convince all parties concerned?

Won't they think I am insane or their enemies are at work?

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75 answers

there is nothing strange if you don't want a church wedding.

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@ Poster,

It is not strange. I wish my wife to be will say wot u r saying. I for once dont like this wedding brouhaha.I like quiet things. If she agrees,i'll prefer 2 do a court wedding.if i will have 2 do a church wedding, i'll prefer doing it with max 6 pple(our parents) as witness which will not take more than 30 mins. I have the money bt i am not interested in d stress and brouhaha of a wedding ceremony. Jus hope she would agree to my plan.I'm not interested in doing things cos others r doing it.

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What makes it strange? did your father marry your mother in the church? Is church your village culture and tradition?

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Honestly i dnt understand why christian brides wear revealing gown,showing thier cleavage,back,shoulder,armsand allthat on thier wedding day,why should anyone see your body on your wedding day,its so sad,you know,all in the name of imitating the west

A BRIDE IS SUPPOSED TO BE COVERED FROM ,HAIR,&ENTIRE BODY,BECAUSE ITS SORELY FOR HER HUSBAND AND NOT FOR EVERYONE

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Bottom line, I don't think it is. Get your Pastor to bless the marriage and go on with your court thing. If it's not for you, don't do it 'cos you'll hate every moment of the day that's supposed to be one of the happiest in your life. Xx

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without it being said; a church wedding here is a white wedding. what u refer to is either a christain blessing at a court or traditional wedding. u still have what is called a church blessing, here u dont wear the so suit & white gown. u just appear and get a pastor bless your union then u do a reception if u want.

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It could be strange poster depending on the reasons. why not if not?

I am in a similar strait now. My girl does not want a wedding & I do want a wedding, then all hell broke loose. Her demands/ taste are way to high & when I complain she will say, "you are the one that wanted it". I then asked her if she has a problem with church or is she an unbeliver?

the last word she text me yesterday was on a gown she so desire & I took to be costly to hire. she said it most be  that particular gown, when I ask her to make a 2nd choice. she said "she had dreamt of wearing such gown since her teenage" & I said "I dont believe". can u imagine.

why are some ladies unreasonable atimes? I am not a society man, there is no stardard for wedding anywhere, pple organise wedding to suit there pockets etc. why will somebody that have no iota of contribution to make to footing the bill of a wedding be demanding high. This is why I conclude that the silly ladies plan for wedding they dont plan for the marriage. 80% of the success of marriage depends on the woman.

poster u can create your own wedding to suit your idealogy, taste & pocket.

do have a wedding, invite God into your new family, let God be the first, u will see what he will do for u.

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I don't what this people are talking about. A church is not a building. It's a gathering of a group of believers and it can be in a court room, your village, etc. The bible says where two or three are gathered I am there, so ignore all this people that don't know their bible. Anywhere you have your wedding is fine with papa God.

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What does being a faithful Christian have to do with whether you get married in church or not? Arrogant nonsense!

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Its either you are not a faithfut christian or you marriage has comma www.myspace.com/naijapassion

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my guy the choice is yours.you dont need to go into something because people are doing it.

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How often do you see Westerners having big weddings with 500+ people in attendance?  The majority have strictly controlled numbers, your father's friend from school and his entire clan cannot just show up.  Many people even opt for registry weddings and tend to have small numbers - by and large people go for what they can accommodate/afford.  I even know of one man who got a Pastor he knew to conduct the marriage ceremony.  He wasn't a churchgoer, the pastor was a neighbour and had befriended him some time before.  The only people in attendance apart from the bride and groom were two friends and the pastor.  Nowadays people are even opting for destination weddings because it's less expensive and significantly cuts down the guest list!

Apart from that, I'm in agreement with much of what you have said.  A church wedding or pastor's blessing is no guarantee to the longevity of a marriage.

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@topic

The truth is that most people are suffering from western brainwashing and crowd mentality, hence most ladies and a few guys get so hung up on a so called "church wedding" merely based on the fact that others have done it and are doing it, and not really on any sound biblical or cultural or historical basis.

1. You do not need to go to church before you are considered married as far as the Creator is concerned.

2. You do not need the Pastor's blessing before you are married.

3. Being married has nothing to do with your Pastor.

4. Seeking Pastor's blessing is a sideeffect and symptom of the heresy brought into the church via the heretic church known as the Catholic Church.

5. Joseph and Mary did not go to church to get married.

6. I do not know of any passage in the bible that sanctions going to church for a so called wedding.

7. Being free and redeemed is not just a slogan, its a way of life, and hence it would do a lot of people a lot of good to actually question their actions and see whether it is biblical or not.

8. As far as I know, I have not seen anywhere in the bible that says people should get married in the church.

9. As far as I know, I have not seen anywhere in the bible that says people should seek Pastor's blessing during marriage.

All i know from the bible is that both families (parents to be exact) need to sanction the marriage otherwise as far as the bible precedents is concerned, the marriage is not really valid.

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Na fight ! pesin come NL dey ask for advice ,u say she dey make thread for making sake . . . .dat's bad.Yousef open one na,if e easy to dey senseless

If you no fit tell am gud thing,nor talk nao

Abi you want make dem make you moderator cos he be like say na only senseless thread you dey alwaz see for NL oo.

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1. Kindly show me a place in the bible that talks about the pastors blessing.

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Nope at all it isnt. In fact all u need is ur parents consent n prayer and then a pastor's blessing as God's servant. Only Nigerians take this wedding thing 2 far.

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kindly stop making threads for thread-making-sake!

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Its sad to see that people have become so brainwashed that they have not even choosen to consider:

1. Why they do what they do.

2. Why they choose to want what they want.

As far as the bible is concerned, I can't really think of a place in the bible that talks about church wedding. Even the bible talks about a wedding that the Messiah Himself attended. The bible did not talk about whether or not the Messiah was the one that officiated at the wedding.

One of the problems that i know I am going to face as a guy is that:

I do not want church wedding, hence its going to be very had to find a woman who is enlightened and not brainwashed enough to understand my reasons and choice.

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People are entitled 2 their opinion,and their wishes & choice should be respected.Wedding in the church isn't so strange, it's has been from time immemorial.It's just to present urself to GOD on a new journey you are embarking on.Mind you, it mustn't be flambouyant.But can be low key depending on your resources.CHEERS!!

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Its not strange girl, I want the same thing. Just let them know that this is what works for you. My sister hate me for this, they do all the big wedding stuff and i just dont care but they will have to respect my wishes and my pocket

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Me no gbadu "church" wedding

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you must not do a flamboyant church wedding, it can be a marriage blessing ie inviting God into your new family to take control, there is nothing special about the crowd and wedding gown.

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@uplawal

being a fanatic at anything is hypocrisy

and thats why jesus came, the jew then that muha whatever took stole their form of worship and impose it on the arab nation at the time by sword was one vagabond that escaped being punished for his wrong deeds.

but later came like up with some politically oriented spiritual bruhaha.

if you know what i mean.

we know all this things but JESUS said leave the thorn{weed} and the crop to grow

together there is such day as a day of reckoning that JEHOVAH would separate the weed{thorn} from the plants {crops}.

cos men u guys are thorns in our flesh.

do u know the History of islam?

please find out how muhamad came up with that fake immitation of the jews religion.?

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Folks do strange things. It takes one person to start.Then they stop being strange.

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Go with your heart there is absolutely nothing wrong if you decide not to go for a church wedding,however i"ll encourage you to gofor a

marriage blessing after your court or traditional wedding or years latter when you are fully settled into your marriage.

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babe this is not strange but you must have a hidden motive for this decision.

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Moreso, I fear men who run away from their wedding responsibility. That is the only way you can be a man. only beware of your expenses, don't do copy copy and marry in your on condition as long as your spouse has agreed to live with you wether you are rich or not and you secure the parent's consent, you are done.

A Pastor once said a man who took a fine lady to keep in his house and is not ready to give a thank you token (bride price) to the parents is like a thief who saw fine banana in th market and stole it. Fulfil your responsibilities albeit at a doable cost (you can negotiate yor bride price but give something if you truly apprecite the lady). Men who run from such are most likelyto be those who stole certificates without attending school, bribe to get job without working for it, or just go to the office to get salary they did not earn, they are not trustworthy.

I always like to advise women, marrythe man only if he is ready to see your parents, strive to fulfil the bride rites (whether cheap or not, it does'nt have to be expensive) and ready just follow the normal process of marriage. That is a man. Don't marry a "Boy-yo-yo' who will get you toay and may never value you again after a while because you made yourself so cheap, nomatter how much that guy ad spent for you personally before then.

By Cheap I don't mean the amount involved but the sincerity of purpose in ensuring process is clear. don't follow all this system of dodging a process. Dodging the process makes you cheap

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You need the church wedding ceremony than every other thing. Get the bllessing of the man of God and prayers of the Church, it does not cost you anything, moreso they are your witnesses. The reception is not compulsory. Don't feed the 'Town' when you can't feed your wife.

When couple are preparing for their wedding, wht are they really running about for? The Wedding dress, to pay the Church or the cost to feed crowd (alias reception)? your guese is as good as mine!!

Marriage is just parent consent and officiated joining in the presence of witnesses. shikena!! every other thing is man-made jara/extra.

Those advising you to avoid church wedding don't want you properly marry. Simple. But they want you to have a party, how doyou see that? Hypocrites whowould use the sae issue to yab you in the future that you did 'kangaroo' wedding, you ran from church, you did backyard marriage or just 'kolombo into a man's house'!!! beware.

Do your wedding but you can cut your cost by combing your intro and raditional with the Church blessing into Friday - saurday affair, without reception or get people to serve light refereshment at the church there while you are go to your home thereafter. The church ceremony does not cost you anything farding.

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that only will remember your marriage after one month, nobody thinks about it anymore after they finish your 'rice'

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Cos as far as I know, im most customs worldwide, the girls family arranges the wedding. The footing of the bill is optional. And if youre already tired now, then my friend getting married will only worsen it lol

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ah aya

how i wish my chick could reason the way you do, she said that her family is prominent, her sister got a befitting wedding and she must too, estimating the cost, i then asked her what will be a quota , she said ,i will do it all alone , if it cost me changing my job, all these cos some quarrelling. i am tired of her really. pls i just pray my chick could reason like you, let me do the wedding small and in our anniversary it will be great. 0h girl dont let any disway u, just allow your man to decide

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@POSTER

Its ok if you do not have any thing hide and all parties concern

have no contrary view.This should be done with the interest of all not disadvantaged.

Best regards!

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The church wedding makes a difference.

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i never really care about the whole big wedding thing, it could be done in 10mins for all i care, so trust me,  its not strange

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The decision is between you and your husband and nothing is wrong with that.

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Nothing strange please feel free to choose the kind of wedding you want in as far it suit you and your couple just go ahead your happiness is the most important thing not the kind of wedding you do infact I will suggest you do it quietly rather than blowing yourself out and started putting unecessary presure on yourself. Goodluck

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You can decide how your wedding should be, in agreement with your would-be husband, nothing strange.

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Yea. Strange.

HAving a church wedding is not the same as having a party or large party for that matter.

U can have ur church wedding with close family mbers and after that, no reception at all or in- house reception. Haven't u heard of a quiet wedding?

So i think it is strange that the lady does not want to near the church to take her vows.

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Opting out of white wedding has nothing to do with anything rather it shows more maturity as that white clothing (Gown) won't be made nonsense of. You know, it should signify purity when it comes to virginity being intact up until that day. But since that is not the case, out of church wedding is even more desirable,reliable and realistic.

Apart from that, wedding can be done in the court, village square, at home etc. I hate to see couples running to churches only when marriage comes up.

Now that the meaning of wedding is 'come and chop' and spending spree, debts-gathering, it is even a good thing to start the new family on a very good footing financially.

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@poster

that's the way to go girl.We don't have to turn any event in our life's into an owambe show-off party,

i fear for naija!

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@poster

it's not strange; people like you are the ones we've being looking for.

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NOT TO SOUND BIZARRE, U HAVE ALOT OF OPTIONS, LETS C,

PSYCHIATRIC WARD,

COURT,

MOSQUE,

SHRINE,

FOOTBALL FIELD,

, PUMPKIN, D LIST IS ENDLESS, ITS UR DAY JUST B HAPPY.

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Church wedding is good, but it depends on the number of peeps u invited. I hate over crowded wedding.

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Church wedding is good, but it depends on the number of peeps u invited. I hate over crowded wedding.

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Because everyone is getting married in the church doesnt mean you should! Go babe.

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@ poster

you can still do a church wedding without calling the whole world

if your partner and family agrees you can just go and make your vows in the presence of God

that was the essence of church weddings before it got abused

all the best!

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i love it quiet too,, infact have discussed with my finace, its our choice

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@Rosobelle

your last comment is so beautiful, one of the finest post you have ever made in Nairaland in if you ask me.

@Radiant

How can I ever meet you in person? I guess you are knowledgeable and an awesome person with a working brain!

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