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Is Love A Feeling Or A Decision?

I have been wondering if love is actually a feeling and what people mean when they say they are in love is actually love. When a guy meets a girl and they both say they are so inluv, they always want to be around each other, holding each other and doing stuff together, they guy takes the girl out often, buys gifts, always want to talk on the phone with the girl. But soon as they are married, after a few years, that feeling or those actions gradually disapear, those that are married will confirm that they dont feel like doing those things anymur. Does it mean they are not inluv anymur ? when the guy goes out to meet another girl(FRESH GIRL) those feelings somehow comes back. So if the guy decides to continue doing those things he did for his wife when they were dating, he is doing it because he decides to and not because he feels like.

Please let me know your answers to the question, Is love a Feeling or Decision?

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26 answers

As far as the love that sustains marriage is concerned, it is a decision. Have you noticed that you can have the same feeling for different people at the same time. Whom you eventually marry will be a matter of decision as many factors beyond your feelings will be taken in to consideration. Recently a friend had to make that decision between two ladies. One was 20 years, still struggling to secure admission, but he had greater feelings for her. The other had just finishd NYSC at 24. He also had feelings for her. Many other considerations were taken into account b4 he finali setled for the later. I am not undermining the place of feelin, but ULTIMATELY, love is a decision

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It's a decision seconded by a feeling

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The initial stage of love is the feeling (attraction) while it is sustained by decision. And its possible and normal to have the feeling (first stage) for several people, then a decision is made to pick one to stick to.

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we like to love if u dont like first u wont love later. but all is the thing of the mind cause so many girls want to marry they tend to tell all guy i love u.i am saying it from a mature mind point of view its a decision not a feeling cause u can have same feeling for all but u can decide to love sb now then decide to love another tommorrow but for feelings u can have it for five people at same time

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There is a difference btw like and love, from my point of view.

Most times, we like our mates so much tht we assume is love.

'Love talks' are complex, no doubt and many plausible reasons to justify various points of view exist.

However, I think long lasting love is more decision-based than a matter of feeling even though both can eventually lead to love and loving.

Cheers

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what we call love and feel, can be felt for more than one person, but the decision will make u stick to one person. in other words the main love is a decision.

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on the short term its a feeling but on the long term its a decision.

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dia is no way u can make a decision on soomething u dont av a feeling for, what decision

loving someone is a feeling,staying with the person through thick and thin cos u love that person is a decision

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@Kv i agree with you to an extent, but i disagree when u say that love is a feeling when u are sexualy attracted to someone u luv, because you can be sexually attracted to your wife and to someone else. i think once sexual attraction is involved we are talking about LUST, because sometimes u like a girl and your crazy about her until u have had sex a number of times then you get tired of her and wonder why u went through all this stress, and at that time if someone asks you, u can swear ur inlove with her.

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Best answer so far.

Well for me, I think you should read 1 corinthians 13:4 - end, and you 'll get the best answer to that.

Hope you've heard about LUST as well. LUST is a feeling while LOVE is decision and also a feeling.

LOVE becomes a feeling when you become sexually attracted to someone you fancy some much that you want to get married (as a single person) OR someone you are married to(as a married person).

However, LOVE should always be a DECISION when you are dealing with someone you are NOT sexually attracted to. Also, like someone stated above, if you are no more seually attracted to your wife later in your marriage, then it's no more a feeling and should therefore be a decision.

The problem with many divorces we see today is because their LOVE is based on only feeling.

Hope this answers your questions.

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it feeln bt you decide to stick all through wit the person

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Its definatly feelings and not decision

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Ok for those that say luv is a feeling, when the guy does not feel the same way towards the wife after marriage, he goes out to meet a new probably younger girl, he starts to feel the way he felt when he was just toasting or dating his wife, does it mean he is now in love with the new girl ?

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Dude i'm a guy so i'm for the guys though i like girls betta

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Ec3l, ok lemme purrit dis way: u 4 d guys or d gurls?

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Nothing is wrong wif ur comment na? Or are u refering to its simplicity?

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Ecl3, read my first comment on this page again.

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Which grammar na? Krissykriss

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@Ec3l, wats wit all d grammar? Are u for, or against us?

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Well, attraction, infatuation or crush which we normally inteprete as falling in love are mere feelings of euphoria that wear away with time or a while after honeymoon. But what keeps the relationship going after the fantasies are faded is the decision to stick by each other no matter how dark or clouded the day gets.

In nutshell, falling in love is a feeling but staying in love is a decision, so love is a bit of both afterall.

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Guys vs Girls!

Guys: Decision.

Girls: Feeling.

Imma stick with d guys, DECISION!

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of course love is a feeling !!!

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I strongly believe its a decision.

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I believe love is a feeling , and dis feeling when actually felt makes u to take a decision to stay with the person u feel it for. When the feelings begin to reduce, it is the decision that makes u to keep it

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We choose to luv those we love so i believe its a decision

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