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Is Love Really All That Matters In A Relationship?

My girlfriend is a great person. We agree to disagree agreeably. that is we always talk about we fight till we resolve it. We have been going out for about a year +. we are engaged to be married. Of late i cant tell, but everything i do causes a fight. we are not speaking right now. i really dont know what to do. i have tried to understand and not complain, but she keeps pushing. i have spent the last six months apologizing for everything. On who lies the responsibilty in a relationship. the man or the woman or both. Why is it so hard for apology over intense matters hard for women, or is it just this one. I dont have a history of womanizing, nor am i a demanding. Ladies what is the scariest part about guys, why is pain a check. i wonder, oam i proud,am i vain. she goes on about how lucky i am to have her, bla bla bla. i am not tired, but i wonder if she is trying to tell me something.

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6 answers

~I think people who have been scared in life,need constant reassurance from a loved one,there's always that fear,doubt,that clouds whatever happiness there is!!! seems to me you love her enuff to wanna make it work so i guess you'll just need to keep workin w/her on her insecurities!!!

~Her sayin "you shud be lucky to have her" i think is just a defence mechanism she uses,am sure you're both lucky to have each other,that said,the fact you guys are thinkin of gettin married,should be,enuff to assure her,you're there for keeps !!!

~However,let her know even though you'll always be there for support,she shudnt use her insecurities as an excuse,she shud be aware by now,nuffin in life is stable,certain things are just inevitable,so if you're there,she shud apprecaite happiness w/open hands !!!

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my dear you are dealing with a gal that has psychological issues.she has to be handled with care and so far from what you have said, you have tried to do that. i guess she has a lot of mood swings 2. just try to get together with her even if you have to beg this one time, just get her talking. you'll be surprised at how much she'll reveal to you only if you can communicate.learn to speak her language, make sure what she wants you to hear is exactly what you are hearing, be her friend for that moment, just listen, and you'll probably hear a whole lot she's been trying to tell you.

gudluck bro.

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You said she is a "great person" so why not concentrate on that and remain as steady as a rock?

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my brother, i can imagine what u are going thru now. been there myself. what i suggest is this: on this issue that has brought this cold war between ur girl and u, stand ur ground. like ima1 said, some ladies do know how to walk on a man's soft side. do not go and apologize at all. if she has a heart, she'll do the right thing.

also, be wary about women who blow their own horn. u know, her telling u that u are lucky to have her. make her see that without her life goes on.

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Thans a lot ima1, i might do that but that means i also have to consider the possibilty of a break or an end. She grew up under extreme conditions of rejection and abandonment, which lead to a general sense of mistrust and insecurity. hence my forbearance. i have tried to instill the absolute nature of my love but that dont work either. i think it could end which can further aid her mistrust but should i kill myself to prove that not all humans are bad. where is the balance ?

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she is probably trying to tell you, you can't do better than her, and don't be a wimp and be apologizing for every single fight abeg let her take responsibility for some of it, you see when you try to show a woman some sign of weakness, she takes it as an opportunity to walk all over you with heels, so i wouldn't want my man to take the blame for everything because it takes 2 people to fight n argue, abi you fit fight with yourself.

my advice be a man stand your ground, don't apologize for everything, being romantic is a good thing but it doesn't mean you have to be a sucker.

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