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Is Maintaining Her Viginity A Crime?

A friend of mine has been dating a guy for the past two and half years, The relationship has been going smoothly, the guy stays in US while she lives in Nigeria but the guy visits once in a year, but they talk on phone and chat online very well.

Recently my friend told to me what has been going on between herself and her boyfriend!

Her crimes are:

She is a virgin and He wants her but she refused due to religious beliefs and also some other known reasons, said she wants to wait till her wedding night. The guy said "Body no be firewood, say he don dey wait for long"

He says she doesn't know how to keep her man, how to make him stay.

He says my friend is a "omo mummy"

The last time they spoke on phone, He told her that he is not coming home this year because he can't come and just be looking at her face, or holding her hands on the streets. He says he wont be calling her frequently like before and to be know how true that is, I called my friend yesterday and she said he hasn't called in two weeks.

He says If my friend want to wait for him, she should wait, that when he comes back home, even if its 5years time, they will get together then.

From time, I sensed that the guy doesn't love my friend, the only thing he held on to was her virginity and now that she said no again, he wants to dump her, what do you think? maybe he has another girl there, all these guys that stay in UK and US, can't be that faithful to their Nigerian girlfriends because They need someone to  warm their bed for them where they are. and they use the ones in Nigeria as MU-MU.

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15 answers

@ poster,

how do you know that the guy doesn't love your friend any longer?

your friend should know that ' person body no bi firewood' , that for

one day it must surely catch fire.

It's not a crime to maintain virginity, if truely they both had believd in themselves to

get married for one, she should have given the guy a single opportunity to enjoy

his what he thinks to be his future hope after being paying alot of transport back

home just because of her.

The guy tried well well. the girl would have considered that.

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In addition to whatever useful contribution your friend is going to get here, I advice that she keeps the fact of her virginity secret.I recall a case while on campus about a girl whose virginity was known all over campus. Anyway, she got Molested by some who couldnt take their minds off her. That too was public knowledge.Sad.

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@Everyone

Thanks for your contributions.

My friend is a Virgin, she has always been like that, too religious about virginity, she is always saying pre-marital sex is a sin, blah blah blah, I can tell you she is truly a virgin!

And she is standing on been a virgin till her wedding night, my only concern is she loves this guy too much and she showed him all of it, but the guy doesnt really believe he said Her love is a conditional one ( about refusing being deflowered), He said love is meant to be UNCONDITIONAL

I really don't think, we should allow guys to know the extent of our love!

I have already told my friend to prepare her heart for heartbreak, because It will come soon!

What do you think?

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belive me or not, the guy got someone else

distance is affecting the relatuionship

he is thinking about caling it off soon

but he wants to get something out of the relationship first

and a good prize for dating a lady 2 yeasr to a guy

will be eating her apple. berra advise your friend

to stick to her vow, even if it means loosing the guy

cos she gonna loose him which eva way.

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pls tell your girlfriend to keep her virginity,if she can keep it till when she get married,good for her.

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@janeesa, who told you most guy are praying for virgins? Do you know what it takes to deflower a girl? Trust me, I know, it just aint as easy as people think especially when the girl is not a 100% ready. Deflowering a girl is like running up and down the stair exercising. The result is your knees and tighs are sour and will ache for at least three days. I have had about four virgins (not that I'm looking for but they keep coming my way) and my present girl was deflowered by me. I love my girl but the stress she put me through before she was deflowered was too much. If asked to go through it again , HELL NO. I will rather go for a girl that has experience. I think they are better.

@poster, how old is your friend and how sure are you she's still a virgin. Most guys want to deflower their virgin girlfriends for security purpose because if they don't, someone else will and they'd be hating the girl all their life. No be bad thing to sample wetin you wan do "for better for worse for". Check the compatibility!!!

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yeah body no be fire wood, he doesnt have ANY SELF CONTROL which is why he cant wait.let her dump the bastard and keep it moving, and fox river: u are MAD DUMB --- u want sex

so u go to someone else, but if ur ex isnt a virgin ur not gonna take her back, mutherfuckin HYPOCRIT, are u are VIRGIN? most guys on here are so damn effin silly , they pray to god for VIRGINS yet they have slept with 25 diff. women.NONSENSE.u silly fools wont find virgin to marry so dont waste ya damn time. fools

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@ poster

It is important for your friend to think deeply about her principles and the sacrifices she is willing to make for them. If she wants to remain a virgin until her wedding night, so be it as along as she is willing to stand by her decision and face the consequences.

Truth is, it's difficult for two adults (I am assuming the parties involved are both matured) to date for a long period and not have sex. It takes God and determination on BOTH parties.

However, the safest way to go about this is either to get married, that way both parties get what they want or to end the relationship and put each other out of their misery. If all the guy wants is sex, then he's not worth the worrying over no matter how long they have dated.

Cheers

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tel ur friend not to change her mind, its a gud tin to keep it till whenever she is ready, she is still gonna meet a guy who is gonna respect her and wait till whenever she is reADY.

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His friends r puttin him up 2 wot he is doin rite now.I went through dat too.U know guy r ban to talk abt their girlfriend suntime went they r 2gether went drinkin or in a bar.They wil say manytinz,they have done wit their g/f.Went i told ma friends dat i have not slept wit ma g/f.They called me names i was angry wit ma self n ma g/f.Anytin she does got me angry,i stop spendin time wit her.Do u know dat disflowerin a girl is a record all guys want 2 keep! I woundnt blame ur friend guy 4 dat.He had been talkin 2 his friends abt dat n am so sure their anoda girl in his life i can bet on dat, I lost me g/f cos i listen 2 ma friend.Wot a great lost 4 me.I am happy in a way cos she is abt comin back 2 ma life wot a lesson 4 me.

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Secondly, all the body no be wood talk is a way of him telling your friend that sex is what he wants. Body no be wood for sure but one can control his body.

Thirdly, all what he's telling her is just him trying to pressure her into sex. Some "smart" guys believe that taunting a woman about being a virgin is a way for them to get what they want. If your friend is strong enough, she won't be swayed easily by all the 'omo mummy' talk. We've heard it all ranging from omo mummy to man tease. Your friend should grow a thick skin cos as a virgin, these words will come her way wayyyyyy too often.

Fourthly, tell your friend to move on. It's obvious as you say that the guy just wants to disvirgin her. It's not as if he didn't know she was a virgin before dating her. He just wants to be the one to share that special connection with her and she doesn't want it yet.

Lastly, the guy is a complete fool. He doesn't know what he has yet. She sounds like a great girl who would be marriage material. Dating such a douchebag in US for almost 3 years shows she was at least committed to making it work.

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The pride of most women is in their virginity provided they havnt lost it and i think the lady in question should stick to her words,

I still dont blame the guy cos body no be firewood for real, though he could have handled it better instead of not calling her. I am not an apostle of "premarital sex is bad stuff". If there is every possibility that u guys will end up together, then why not just give in to his demands. The guy has even waited for almost 3 years - Haba

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I dated ma girlfriend for 5yrs witout sex n i dont know d colour of her pant.I try forcein her n i found she had not known a man.I was surprice(she told me dat she had slep wit any guy,i didnt belive her)later we broke up cos i started seein anoda girl cos anytime i ask 4 sex i know she wil not give me.We stop seein each other n she kept sentin msg dat she is goin 2 kill me,after 2yrs she called me dat she want 2 come back. Wot do i do?Should i take her back, If she is disflower am not goin 2 take her back. Ma adivse 2 u is dat,if u r not ready dont do!

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