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Is She Worth Fighting For? I Need Honest Advise

Ok . My Naija brothers and sisters,

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NLanders its obvious how we take issues there, too bad that we can't get a little help there rather abuses and insultive words.

@sidman u the man in that situation u ve been bargained on cos u re open with ur heart toward ppl. deterenimation and choice re wat makes u wat u re. choose to live it up , overcome ur fears and eliminated them

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Fu, k u Bolagun12, Totoeater.

Infact F u k all ya,

thats y Naija is full of injustice and we cant do nothing about it.

na una sabi.

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@ Bolagun12.

I dont want no problem here on these thread. While we are free to express ourselves, I brought my issue here to help me solve them. People are different and so u will expect from someone like me too . abi.

@ Totoeater, Stop all these now. I am getting sick already. I got what i wanted and the general consensus that i have to go and live my life elsewhere. I might have skills in different fields but not in the area of relationship hence i found myself in these.

I dont think it was wrong to bring my issues out to people for advise. Thats why when someone profers a solution , i will thank him or her for the contribution.

Its not that a dumb like u are making it sound. I know what i want and dont wana settle for less.

I need these thread to stop. Am okay now. Thats all i needed.

I thank all that contributed to thread. lets make naija a great place to be and live.

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@Bolagun12

I think you are the person in question. see how you are attacking the guy. No one is asking you not to do what you are doing to him. Its obvious that you like the guy and still wanna eat the cake too. what do u call that, Ashawo. I pity you oooooo.

If you like change your name. This thread has to stop. cos both of you need to talk. You do care for him and you know he does too. who are you decieving? Bobo1 and 2. yes both of them.

the reason is that you have done so much damage to bobo 3 already and dont know how to go about it. Every one has conscience thats why you cant let go. When you get home, cry your heart out and tell yourself the truth and The Good Lord will see you through.

Parents: stop adding to the pressure of living abroad to your kids out there. take note nairalanders.

My Post na the last oooooo/ i go shoutooooooo

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Please, Please and please.

This thread has to stop now. I live in Atlanta and i happen to know the people involved, i.e the poster if he is or his surrogate and the girl in question.

I hate when private issues like this has to be brought online. its sad. Both of them are good friends and i cant believe they still have not hit of yet. Nice man and the girl a good person too. I think she is just to confused and the pressure the poster is putting on her is also making the girl in question scared too.

They go out a lot and do alot together. Dont mind what he is saying that he is going to turn off his phone, there hadly any day that goes by that they dont talk. she dont see him the way he does. its evident she derive emotional pleasure from bobo 2 and physical pleasure from the poster. she wants poster to console her when something goes wrong with bobo 2.

parents: dont put pressure on your kids out there so they can make good decision.

Please stop contributing to this thread. Abeg una ooooooo. Both of them dey kolo for each other even when she is with bobo2.

No more contribution. mine should be the last. Otherwise i go mention their names and all the parties involved.

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@ Bolagun12

Okay.  I think you are so silly to be on the girls side. Infact didnt it occur to you that someone is been used here? and that she is not letting the man move on with his life ( She has a man in the house and the poster cant see that thats a no go area). If she says no to him and tell the guy to please move on , then the man can now officially go for the room mate since its now a situation where he had to take one.

If am in the guys situation, this is what i will do.

Call  and tell her its not working and we need to end this. we can still be friends but not the way we i intended. My candid oppinion, is she likes him and still find something good in him. apart from what we have learnt in this thread, there is more out there we dont know. The Poster loves him and want to do anything to settle his situation but he went about it the wrong way. that was the mistakes he  talked about.

I predict: Bobo 2 will dump her when he is ready and she will try to go back to bobo1 in naija. she cant go back to the poster cos of pride but she would prefer to be with him if all fails.  Wishing all the parties involved good luck.

nairalanders especially the babes, please take note.

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I have been following this and just decided to add my piece.people!people!people!y r we babying this guy?y are we battering this female?someone needs to stand up for this girl!

its so irritating especially coming from females to post such silly comments.firstly,how do u know so much abt this girl anyway?is either she is so silly to tell u all these thngs abt herself or shes silly to trust you.i think its the latter.

u say u want to be serious with her yet you threaten to date her friend come on!it is none of your bloody business who she was with or who she collected money from before u met her.now you condemn her and run after her the same time.u must either be blind,silly or both!

i don't know the full story but there are a lot of inconsistencies in it and since you agree with almost every post,its obvious you do not know what you are saying or you have no mind of your own

but if what you are saying is true,you must be half brained cos u do not need a full brain 2 know that u need 2 move on with ur life and find another woman.so stop this mellow drama and be a man.

goodluck

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I am wondering, everybody are replying to your post but i cant find any detail to it rather than your age and sending 30 cars a year, am i missing something here? Can you reply with full post and detail please?

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@ Romeo,

The woman ( Wife) in question is a wonderful person. infact you will think she is naija. But there is a problem. No Kid and not willing to have one cos she got one already before we met. i help raise that kid.

If there was a kid , i wouldnt bother thinking about going out there. She loves naija and dont play with any when she comes accross them as a human resources manager with a fortune 500 company in Atlanta. she hires Naija as if she knows them. Even with out kpali. she comes back home to tell me, i just hooked one of your boy or girl up at work.

Sometimes you cant get it right in life and this is one of them. beautiful, good heart, caring but all that with out children dont make sense. Thats my point.

You can force a horse to the river but cant force the horse to drink from it. She dont want it period.

@ Romeo, I take the appology , after all am look for a solution and i brought it to the house for solution and i got a lot from it.

take care my man.

God Bless

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Apologies! I think i am replying to the wrong thread.

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@Sidman - no offence was intended. I just have to call it as i see it.

Isnt making ur marriage work an option? Cos u make no mention of that! If u have tried, and it aint working, then why cant u leave b4 u begin all this? And why can u find a serious woman to date, rather than one who has a man she is scamming in Naija, another one she's playing in Yankee, then you on top? These are all valid questions.

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@ Beingme

I doubt if it was a contract marriage. the marriage lasted for 7 years. It take a lot for some one to be on contract marriage with a girl in the states.

secondly, you talked about not having kids for all those years? its not uncommon for such situation especially if the guy went into it with all hi s mind .

I think he became involved with the girls when he realised that those years spend was not yeilding result.

I dont think he was playing games.

The girl in question took advantage of the situation in which the guy was and expoiting it to her advantage having done same to the guy in naija and still with the guy in Boston.

Yeah. I agree with you. he has to move on as fast as he could now. I disagree with Frank3.16. The best way to get over all this is get the hell out of her sight. no communication.

Sidman, @ 36 you can still get your life together. its not too late. you wasted time b4 acting but there is still time. love yourself and learn from all those mistakes.

i wish you the best.

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the issue here in complicated cos sidman and those ladies were playing games.

*Married for 7yrs and u dont ve a kid to show for it? contract marriage i guess.

*Involved with some 9ja ladies tht re not ready for commitment. whoa! depressing and confusing. u wasted ur yrs with women who re not out for marriage but games and fun. we all made mistakes but u turned back to reality a little bit late. u re getting older man and believe me u should have gotten 2 kids by now and be happy @ least.

*move on and stay in touch with ur spirit for direction

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@ frank3,16

Thanks for the post. you might be right. i was forcing my way in despite seeing all that. its over any way. I just didnt wanna have any contact at all. I know her, if i continue to pick that call and be her friend like u want it to be, i will hardly move on. That will be constant reminder of everything. yeah i wil talk to her someday but not now.

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I wouldnt advice that u stop picking her call. She obviously liks u but might not be in love. And I have not sen anywhere she had hurt u in any way.

U see, the problem all along has been u and not her, well, she might have 20bobos, but thats her business and not yours. You are the one who is forcing ur self into her private life all along. You are the one who wanted her despite knowing that her life style does nto suit u.

Why block ur line? why avoid her? doing all these does not show that u have moved on. It only means that u cant handle her presence or voice.

make una leave the poor girl jare (weather good or bad). @poster, find ur self a true love and remain a good friend to the poor bad girl.

And be a man to face bobo 2. who the hell does he think he is? this is america. If he finds the guts to confront u, pleeeeeeeeeeeeese make him regret leaving naija and comin to america.

cheers

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Thank you Heather,

You are a good sister. i never knew i could have so much support from this forum. Thank you very mch. I m doing much better.

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i know what it feels like being in ur situation but anyways it is very obvious that the gurl doesn't know wat she wants yet. i just think u should move on find another gurl it mustn't be the room mate cos she might feel u just want to make her jealous or even create enmity between the 2 friends. i suggest u just let them be and find some other person with less pressure and all

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@ SweetT. Thanks for the advice. I wonder how people like ROMEO4REAL can be saying things like that. As if he didnt read my thread. Its easy for one to judge another out there with out look at your self first.

I Think am great full for all the advice i have gotten here and thats all i need.The general concensus is that i ve to let her go. Is it a crime to be married for yrs with out getting it right likeee your mates out there? I think ROMEO u know the answer. Wish you the best.

Wana thank all that contributed including those with constructive criticisms. A man has to take that be stronger.

take care .

Love ya

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@Sidman

See if it's possible to save your marriage, Leave that Yoruba girl alone she's full of games and she will obviously play you if you marry her. Quit worrying about her and let her go. She has a man in Naija getting loans for her another one in Boston soon she will meet another Texas. Bro, life is too short to be wearing an iron cloth. It's obvious she's incapable of being faithful, if the Ibo girl is more faithful shower her with your attention. Who knows, the Ibo girl might be the prescription the doctor ordered for your heartache.

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Ur obviously not a serious man.

You are have been married for 7 yrs, currently having an affair with a woman who is playing 3 guys inc you, and you want her to be serious with you, and have a child with her, then threatening to date her friend(who incidentally is just as silly as the rest of you), whilst remaining with ur wife?

Ur a joker!

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sidman u ought to love urself to be able to overcome all that cos the more u kill urself with those issues the more u hate urself.

move on with ur life and forget both ladies, always be careful with them in ur way of communication

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@ iice,

thank you. it happened like this cos of the pressure. i was not thinking about anyway before all these. u r damn right. its not every woman u meet u wanna end up with. i made so many mistakes.

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I laugh in swahili.  .  .

Seriously even when you were writing the story up there.  .  .it didn't strike you as to how ridiculous you sound in the story?

Oh boy, no be say any woman wey come ur way na the one wey you suppose marry. 

I will say this - don't rush it, don't force it.  Be patient and diligent so that you pick someone, like you said - you can laugh, smile, joke and fight with.

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topup. u are a grand master. You might be right. you just give me energy now to continue what i am doing. i have to move on.

Thank u my brother.

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Hey there,

In other words, you deserve better and there is better. She seems to be struggling with removing bobo2 out of the picture. Maybe if you stay clear, she'll have time to think about your worth, if she thinks you're worth fighting for, that's exactly what she'll do.

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hi topup.

You are the bumb. u just hit the nail on the head.

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You make it seem as if these are the only two ladies in the whole world who you could possibly get married to.

There are millions of other women you could be equally if not more compatible with - without all the mayhem and hassle.

I believe this girl from Atlanta and her housemate have too much drama going around them and I wouldn't advise you to stick your head into it.

I always advise people to only enter into something when they are sure they are doing it the right way. For now there is still a lot of concern about "bobo2", especially since he seems aware of you and your budding relationship with her. For your safety I would advise you stay clear. I am not convinced that you have fallen in love with her or even considered the longevity of your relationship, maybe if you make a convincing argument as to why you believe that there is no other more compatible woman than her, maybe then I'll be able to advise you.

Otherwise like I have already stated twice, stay clear of this dead end situation.

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TheSeeker,

Thank you my guy. who says Naijas are not honest to their brother. I have gotten so much encouragement since i let the cat out the bag. I can hardly trust a woman nowadays. Its terrible how one can be treated like that.

Naija is a great place.

thanks,

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@Poster

Wow! I may have wanted to blast you off but we are all prone to mistakes, when unintended, silly or deliberate. I don't know which category yours is because you have it all twisted. In the first place, what are you doing with a girl who has such number of guys? Doesn't she strike you as a player who's out there to mess with a man's heart? She has a guy in Nigeria who's fending for her education and she's staying with another in ATL, put yourself in the shoes of the guy in Nigeria, what would you have done? What would have your thoughts be? Now, that is the position you will find yourself if you ship your matrimonial rights to the wrong woman. There's no telling that she's trying to scheme her way through the Bobo1 to so as to get all she wants from him and at the same time not make him feel any suspicion about her behavior.

Why she doesn't want to let go of you to date her roommate is because she is still coming back to domicile in your home and thank your stars you aren't living in California, or you would have taken the risk of parting with some of your properties and hard earned money when she throws a divorce in your face. Have you taken time to know from her what kind of family she is from? You never know.

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Thanks for all the advice so far. Just want to get emails of all that contributed to my posting.

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thanks Tinyata, U guys are great. I don borrow Usian Bolt shoes already. I am on a 100 meters dash here.

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I just pity Bobo1 sending his money to educate a girl that has Bobo1, 2 ,3 , poster are you seriously considering marrying a woman that is living with another man.(or did i read your post wrong)

@ poster and all males , is that there are no good women in the states ? whats the deal with sticking with a female that your whole family has to be begging or going to marry someone you barely know from naija ( i have nothing against old friends or someone you happen to develop a relationship with)

goodluck sha

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take care and God bless.

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Mashkov,

I dont know what to tell you. Is it that you are so perfect that msitake were never made by you? Now i know and you learn by making honest mistakes and this was one of them. How i wish i know the yoruba you just spoke?

I wish you well any way.

The general concensus here is that i have to let this go and i have taken it. I should be able to give all my people that contributed to the healing someday, when life begin to improve by having another girl. I know then you will be happy with me.

take care. bye. Thank you all for your help.

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You are just a junk ma. Can't you see that there is nothing in this whole thing for you? MOve on man. You are a proper gbewu dani - I wish you know the meaning of that.

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I'll advice u to leave her. She'll end up giving u high blood pressure. No sacrifice is too big to get things right in one's life. If it means getting rid of ur phone lines, do it and get another lady. If you don't change ur lines, she might ruin the relationship u r trying to build. I'm adding u to my ym cos i'm planning to be a security expert too. will need ur advice.

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You are really a gentle guy. I will advice you to get her bleeped a couple of time before dumping her. Bitches deserve to be nailed before dumping them.

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1 question? Are you a man with brains at all?

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@poster

A word they say is enuf for the wise. She only wants to eat her cake and have it back

I have bn fooled b4, (babe 1, 2, 3) dont ever try and be in competition, a sick thing to do

But only d guy knew were his mind lies

He gave me so much hope,never wanted anyother man around me, no txt nor call (tot i was d one, big fool like me)

Eventually he married for money (guys are also gold diggers, not only women)

So she doesn't worth the attention u give her and dats y she cant make up her mind now,

You dnt need to change ur numbers (means u can't take d bull by the horn)

be a man and tell her u can't be in competition

Let her define who she wants to be with,

D much i can say for now.goodluck

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Oladcity,

I will do it. Trust me . u only live once.

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i hope u will be able to do all you have said you will do, cos this ur adrenalin is very high

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Thank you justwise. That can also happen to Bobo2 too someday abi. Its possible.

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mr u need to stay the hell away from both ladies and cast ur reel far deep into the water if u value ur sanity n peace of mind

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make una lif this mugu for the babe o

bobo 1-2-3-4-5-

are you really sure you know how many bobos the ashewo get?

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She is heartless, just imagine the poor guy in Nigeria who paid for her trip? borrow money from back all cos of her? would u pay him back all the money he wasted on her?.

U are bobo3 and when she gets married to u she will have bobo4. if u really want peace of mind, stay clear away from her.

Look for somebody without an attachments and hang-overs

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