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Is This A Blessing Or A Dilemma?

A friend broke up with his ex-girlfriend some 4years ago and a year after she travelled to UK for her post graduate studies, since then life has not been fair to him, i mean a guy that had a car, a parcel of land in one of naija's major cities, a flat he rented,all of a sudden went completely broke. (am not going to be too detailed so we dont end up sleeping here).

situations got so bad that he lost everything he had, so bad that he had to go back to his father's house. whatever business he got involved in always went wrong, as jobs could not easily be fetched. before his situation got so bad he was already dating an undergraduate and they 've both been believing God for something great

sometime last year friend's raised some money so he could travel to the UK for his post-graduate studies but he was denied a visa cos it was said they were unsure if he actually was going to study.

sometime in december, his ex' mum called like she has always been doing, and asked hope they still communicate, he was like well since she travelled they lost contact, but he believes she still has his number, just last month(january) she called and was like: what up and stuff, life ,blah blah? and then she asked if he still intends to study overseas cos i guess they both had that in mind before they broke up, he said actually but that his major constraints has been finances.

she offered to assist him with $12000(six thousand pounds) for his studies and intends to send her papers: passport, tenancy agreement, and bank statement so he could get a visa come september.

the problem now: what happens to his present girlfriend that has stuck with him thru thick and thin, that has been praying along side him believing God for something beyond the ordinary? what i know is accepting the money is accepting her back, since he cannot eat his cake and have it,guys and girls what are your views? whats the best option for this young man cos am pretty confused here.

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14 answers

I think you should rather choose one of the options above,

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@ beila05, sounds like one of those G & C guys

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This seems very complicated but your friend shoukkd always bear it in mind that talking about travelling,it gets more complicated than you'd ever think.

And if you'd take your time and looka at it carefully,you will realise that nobody will offer you 6000pounds for nothing.She has her selfish interest,its just like you guyz lavishing money on a lady just because you want to get down on her.

This girl has travelled for a long time and you really don't know much about her any longer,his present girl will also be bittered.

I really don't know what advice to give but am just laying down some points that need to be considered.All the best.

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@ Zheros,

ma girl NaJa HaJa Said it all already.

He should explain to the lady abroad about his current gf. If she still wants to sponsor him fine and if she decided not to go with it anymore then, there will always be anotha means or maybe he just wasn’t meant to go abroad and his good luck is in Nigeria.

Secondly, since they are back in communication, he shld tell both girls wats going on. Let the one abroad know that he has a girlfriend and let the girlfriend know that he has been talking to his ex girlfriend and she intends helping him travel abroad.

Good luck to ur friend.

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@Poster

I think its a blessing rather than a dilemma

If you really love your current girlfriend and don't just appreciate her simply because she 'stuck by you all the while' then I think you should talk to the girl in UK.

A) Tell her about the current girl in your life and you feelings for her.

B) Tell her that you are happy to accept her offer if it would be considered as a biznezz proposition. (you will be paying her back)

C) Agree an amount for the service of the visa and the trouble she is going to thru with opening up her personal life to the intense scrutiny of the Home Office.

D) Agree on a time limit you will be at her address for. E.g 18months should be about right to get you on your feet if you are focused and a hard worker.

If there is a positive understanding then inform your current girl.

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@ topic, wat led to their initial break up? well remember there is sumbody there at present except u dont hav a future wit her. i will suggest u let her know wats happening if u really love her and let ur ex know that by accept the offer, there will b no string attached and if she agrees then go ahead and accept the offer otherwise run run cos u cant eat ur cake and hav it for that may spell doom!

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if na woman this kain thin happen eh

E NO GO THINK ABOUT THE MAN HERE

SO YOU TOO TAKE THE PAY AND RUSH GO

OBODO OYINBO FOR YOUR EX.

wishes you happy shgging in advance

omo carry goooooooooooo

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thanks so much. this seems a better option, from a level headed and sane lady. THANK YOU.

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I tire for this Almondjoy sef,The guy just asked a simple advice,not insult and u always seem to have insult for everyone,do u think it makes u hot and cool?

Zheroes said it all,it gives a clear and true picture of who u r,

Back to the Topic @ Zheroes,its a really tough one cos if u ve been praying for a breakthru all this while ,u might mistake any help for breakthru,which u cannot be blamed for,u could take the money and make sure ur current girlfriend knows about it all the way,but before u do let ur ex know u r only borrowing it and u intend to pay back as soon as u can,and see her reaction.

Bear in mind,that 6 thousand pounds might seem a lot now,but it wont be worth the trouble that might happen later on,and also a woman that stays with u when u r at ur very low  is a gem,trust me ,i'm a woman and i know how it is,

Goodluck in ur decision

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Omo na this one gangan them they call DILEMMA. God go helep you solve am.

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hey woman!!!!!, learn to read threads thoroughly before posting, a friend is in a situation and am confused on giving either options, i simply asked you a question that is if you care to respond, a lot of people, i mean sane people read and never felt like commenting, whats your problem. you sound so much like a single mother of three, cursing and yelling the life out of your situation, thats not a better way to respond, are you not aware that the way you respond to people online gives a clear and true picture of who you are, common woman be a lady, most of your posts on nairaland are filled with insults , where did you grow up? most likely OSHODI market, or you had a bad day selling your wares?. i guess there are better ways to exhibit madness.

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no, obviously not me, but i wont be wrong to call him a brother, i mean we are that close.

thanks for your response lady.

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Na Judge Judy good for all these kinds of topics!

Men! Always looking for "awoof"!!!!! If the girl abroad swears for his whole family now--people will say she is bad. If the current girlfriend swears for him too--people will call her a witch. Meanwhile these sufferhead--never smell success men will go about dribbling women about.

When he gets abroad now he will jump into the bed of the first Security agent with "golden" tooth he finds at the airport there looking for "green card" or "white card" whatever it is called there.

Anyway--I blame women. When you have broken up--I think you should stay "broken up". If you feel like some "charity work", volunteer at your church. I am sure 6 thousand pounds can be used to pay a lifetime of tithes to purchase salvation anywhere in this world.

Rubbish!!!!!! No wonder bad luck follows him everywhere he goes. This dude is cursed for using people all over the place.

What is there to be confused about?

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You seem to be so sure. are you sure its a friend and not you?

Back to your question.

It might be both.

Of course, accepting her help also means accepting her back. it might not be immediately, but gradually it would lead there.

all the fuss to help him with 6,000 pounds and all the paper work, doesn't just go for nothing.

but if i might ask, why did he just end the relationship like that, just because she left the country. b

The ball is in his court, he either accept the money and break a heart in the process. or reject the money and keep praying to God, for another breakthrough.

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