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Is This Relationship Really Over?

Hi pple.i'm trying to be objective here so thats why i'm using u guys as a sounding board.

A while ago, my man and i had a misunderstanding but as a peace luvin person,i went to him to make amends and since then,my attitude towards him has improved tremendously.hwever heres the catch.since that day(over a month ago) he has stopped calling,we hardly talk,he has distanced himself from me even physically.but when i had a chat with him about these,his rply was he wants me to be patient,that things will soon get better,that he is just taking his time blah!blah!blah!(he even indicated he's not been with anyone else since his celibacy frm me.i wld be a fool to believe that!)

i asked him for help in 2 urgent matters recently but he refused to help saying he has already done alot for me in "cash and kind"can u bloody imagine?what about all what i offered him in kind?i wouldt cheapen myself to start making such claims? So the goods i offered freely,the emotional support i gave, a listening ear, friendship, sympathy+empathy are all pointless to him.

In my mind the relationship is over and believe me,Í i'm no more used to the fact that he's still in my life.the thing i wanna know is do i confront him with the facts about the reality of this failed relationship and tellin him i'm not a fool that i shld believe all his excuses or do i just walk away without a word to him?forum,i need yr comments.

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"Since that day(over a month ago) he has stopped calling,we hardly talk,he has distanced himself from me even physically.but when i had a chat with him about these,his rply was he wants me to be patient,that things will soon get better,that he is just taking his time blah!blah!blah!(he even indicated he's not been with anyone else since his celibacy frm me.i would be a fool to believe that!)"

And why don't you be patient? A month is very short to make up your mind on leaving him. You haven't seen people settle after months of silence?

i asked him for help in 2 urgent matters recently but he refused to help saying he has already done alot for me in "cash and kind"can u bloody imagine?

Yes I can imagine that. What's wrong with his answer? Who knows if he's been spending on you all this while? And who knows what exactly happened btwn the two of you that he's so reluctant to help you. You might want to hint us more on that.

what about all what i offered him in kind?i wouldt cheapen myself to start making such claims? So the goods i offered freely,the emotional support i gave, a listening ear, friendship, sympathy+empathy are all pointless to him.

You sound so awful. What d'u mean by "all what I offered him in kind"? Didn't he offer the same thing to you? Don't even bring that up, please. All the things you offered him, I'm sure he offered his own share so please. . .

In my mind the relationship is over and believe me,Í i'm no more used to the fact that he's still in my life.the thing i want to know is do i confront him with the facts about the reality of this failed relationship and tellin him i'm not a fool that i shld believe all his excuses or do i just walk away without a word to him?forum,i need yr comments.

The relationship is not over yet. You can call it a quit tho'. You're getting upset at him because he's refused to help you and call you? Oh well, what did you do to make a man so bitter over you?

If you're truly innocent and still want him back, you'll give him time to get over his anger. It could take months, depending on what went on and how you're handling the situation.

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@sweet T, somebody asked a reasonable question at last.

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they c each other on official ground. So ignoring and avoiding will not be effectively done.

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let me give u some advice, while trying 2 ignore the obvious and thinking there's a chance u guys will b 2gether again u will only give him 1 last chance 2 bust ur A*% and literally kick u out, pls read d signs and move on!!! u sound like a reasonable girl, dont waste ur time on a guy who cant see dat !

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thks tobiegal and maneater.really appreciate your support.keep it real

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HI TOBIEGAL,

IVE ALREADY MADE UP MY MIND TO LEAVE QUIETLY AS MAJORITY CARRIES THE VOTE IN REPLIES FRM MOST PPLE.

SO I HAVE NO MORE WORRIES.THK U ALL, I BOW OUT.

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@WHITELEXI

U R NOT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.I AM.THERES NO WAY U CAN KW THE NITTY GRITTY.THIS IS SOME1 IV BEEN DATING FOR LONG SO I SHLD KW BETTER.U R THE 1 JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS HERE AND MAKING PRESUMPTIONS COS ALL U BASICALLY KW ABOUT THIS IS WHAT I'V TOLD U GUYS SO FAR.ABI U KNOW ME?

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And u also didnt seem to get my point, "he would readily assist u if he was still interested in u" is not a good line. If things are difficult for him right now, he will not readily assist u even if he wanted to - that is the truth about the matter. Why not give it a little time, or warm up and find out what is bothering him instead of jumping to these conclusions?

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Sweetie, you didnt answer my question.

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@ SWEET T

I DIDT CHEAT ON HIM.NEVER DID.OUR MISUNDERSTANDING WAS QUITE TRIVIAL AND WAS SETTLED OR SO I THGT.

@ WHITELEXI

IF U READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS WELL,U WLD SEE THAT I FOUND AND STILL FIND IT INSULTING FOR A MAN TO BE COUNTING ALL WHAT HE'S DONE FOR ME.MOST ESPCIALLY,MY BOYFRIEND.I EXPECTED HIM TO HAVE SIMPLY SAID NO CAN'T DO,INSTEAD OF MENTIONING ALL WHAT HE'S DONE IN CASH AND KIND.WHAT I WROTE EARLIER AS WELL WAS I WASN'T GOIN TO DEGRADE MYSELF BY ASKING HIM ABOUT ALL WHAT I OFFERED IN KIND AS WELL.I AM A HARDWORKING LADY AND BELIEVE WHEN I TELL U I CRINGE WHENEVER I HAVE TO ASK A MAN 4 HELP.

THE ASSISTANCE I ASKED FOR WAS SOMETHING HE WLD HAVE READILY DONE IF HE WAS STILL INTERESTED IN ME.SO PLS READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS WELL BEFORE BEATING THE GUN BY MISINTERPRET ME.

STILL I THK U FOR YR CONTRIBUTION.

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@ SWEET T & WHITELEXI

I DIDT CHEAT ON HIM.NEVER DID.OUR MISUNDERSTANDING WAS QUITE TRIVIAL AND WAS SETTLED.HOWEVER IF U READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS WELL,U WLD SEE THAT I FOUND AND STILL FIND IT INSULTING FOR A MAN TO BE COUNTING ALL WHAT HE'S DONE FOR ME.MOST ESPCIALLY,MY BOYFRIEND.I EXPECTED HIM TO HAVE SIMPLY SAID NO CAN'T DO,INSTEAD OF MENTIONING ALL WHAT HE'S DONE IN CASH AND KIND.WHAT I WROTE EARLIER AS WELL WAS I WASN'T GOIN TO DEGRADE MYSELF BY ASKING HIM ABOUT ALL WHAT I OFFERED IN KIND AS WELL.I AM A HARDWORKING LADY AND BELIEVE WHEN I TELL U I CRINGE WHENEVER I HAVE TO ASK A MAN 4 HELP.

THE ASSISTANCE I ASKED FOR WAS SOMETHING HE WLD HAVE READILY DONE IF HE WAS STILL INTERESTED IN ME.SO PLS READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS WELL BEFORE BEATING THE GUN BY MISINTERPRET ME.

STILL I THK U FOR YR CONTRIBUTIONS.

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@topic

move on gurl,

been long over!

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Totally agree with Sweet T's point, and i also beg to differ on some points.

1) You want to leave simply because he didnt assist u financially on 2 urgent ocassions.

2) You feel because u have invested in 'kind' he owes u that assistance whenever u need cash

3) You don't even believe it when he says he has been celibate

4) You don't think being patient will solve the problem.

As a very programmed and organised person, I have had some rough times in the past when i didnt want any distraction, it even cost me the loss of my girl simply because she thought exactly like you're doing right now. There will come a time in a man's life when things go bad, and everything becomes disorganized, coincidentally, girls usually take his lack of genuine interest in their matters as a sign of dissent.

I think u really are lucky to have a guy who would be helping u financially anytime u want it because u said he had helped u a number of times with cash in the past. Girls really need to learn to work hard for their money and i think u should do the same, when u work, u will come to appreciate the money u spend so freely and also have a say in how u give your body to a man.

Finally, you cannot blame him for avoid u if your misunderstanding was based on cheating, and i expect it will also explain why he seems to be avoiding u physically, maybe u should give it some time to heal, or for things to get better for him in his business and other family matters that could be a burden on his mind.

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By the way, you didn't tell us the reason behind the misunderstanding. You said his unforgiving, i suspect you got laid by another man ( Did you cheat on him?). If so, just forget it 'cause even if you guys make up the trust is gone like a fart in the wind.

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Why don't you just leave that buster/loser alone and move on. Are you waiting for the time you will see him locking lips with another woman before you get the message his sending you? You better start looking for a guy now to occupy your mind and time. Don't be caught sleeping young lady. He probably doesn't worth a crap anyways.

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Baby am sorry to ask this question, but i need to get somthing clear. The man you are talking about him, is him that ur BOSS, u said u fell in love with? U arouse my curosity with the comment u made that u normally see him in the office.

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@ KATENCY

HI&THKS.BUT,I MUST TELL U WE HAVE HAD TOOOOOOOO MANY LONG DISCUSSIONS TO LAST ME A LIFE TIME.AND WHEN THESE ISSUES AND TALKS KEEP CROPPING UP, IT REMOVES THE FUN FRM THE RELATIONSHIP.I'M TIRED OF BLAH BLAH BLAH,

I HAVE TRIED ALL I CAN TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK.BELIEVE ME,I HAVE.BUT IT SEEMS THE GUY HIMSELF HAS ALREADY MOVED ON BUT WON'T ADMIT IT.HE WLD RATHER PREFER ME TO ADMIT IT AND I GUESS I WON'T.U KW,THATS WHAT MOST GUYS DO.THEY WLD RATHER HAVE U BRK UP WITH THEM THAN THE OTHER WAY ROUND,SO, THEY START ACTING STRANGE TO GET U OFF THEIR NECK.SO,I WON'T GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION.WILL LET U GUYS KW WHAT I DECIEDE SOON.CHEERS

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when you started your relationship you guys discussed about it, so when you want to quiet, it most also be the two of you to discuss about it. from my own opinion i think you should call him physically, two of you should talkabout the relationship you will now be in the position to tell him that you are not interested again so you can have a cleared mind toward him,it hard but thats the simpliest way i think you should walk away from him.just walking away is behaving imatured but calling is showing him that you are more matured than he his.

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THKS CYCLONE 5.HWEVER, I MUST REMAIN TRUE TO MYSELF.MY INTUITION TELLS ME I SHLD LEAVE.I DON'T SEE SENSE IN BEING WITH AN UNFORGIVING MAN.CAN'T LIVE LIFE THAT WAY AND NO ONE SHLD.HE ONLY TALKS TO ME ABOUT HIMSELF NOW,ON THE RARE OCCASSIONS THAT WE TALK.I MOSTLY IGNORE HIM AND ACT NON-CHALANT COS REALLY IF A MAN IS NOT INTERESTED IN ME ANYMORE,Y SHLD I BE THEN?LIFE IS ALL ABOUT GIVE AND TAKE.NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.

THE SAD PART IS WE SEE EACH OTHER EVERYDAY ON OFFICIAL PURPOES SO U MUST KNOW HW PAINFUL THIS WAS FOR ME UNTIL I SUMMED UP THE STRENGTH TO MOVE ON.

I BELIEVE WALKING AWAY QUIETLY IS STILL THE BEST OPTION.

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It's seems the guy has been an Bottom for quite a while now so I'd say just walk away gurl. You don't deserve to be treated that way. After all who he thinks he is?? Please though, think it all very well, so there will be no regrets. If you walk away with a clean heart, then the sun won't take to long in rising on your path. Good luck and keep us posted with what's been going on.

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I wouldn't be so quick to walk away. He clearly is still angry and trying to punish you, which is quite immature. But depending on how long you have been together and how you really feel deep inside why not just bide your time patiently. You can pull back a little bit but still try and find exactly where his head is at.

So just do your thing and if he continues to be an Bottom, cut his Bottom loose. But its always worthwhile finding out exactly what is wrong. You may find out something revealing.

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thks guys.guess i don't need to be told it's over.hand writing is on the wall abi?i'll walk away quietly as you'v advised

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He has walked quietly away.

Walk quietly away.

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