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Is This Right?

I have a friend. He started dating this girl some months back and it seems it wasn't working out which led to their break up. although my friend seems to love this girl bt the girl said the guy doesn't.

Anyway, my guy is dating someone else now but his anger with the way the chic broke up with him and his love for the girl made him to send her a wicked message that just to make the girl feel bad but thst only got the chic mad who also sent an annoying message to insult the guy.

The crux of the matter now is that my guy says he must "deal" with the girl either by dating her friend just to prove a point or do something silly to her. I told him to just let sleeping dogs lie but he insisted. Do u thonk this is right?

Pls your views are welcome

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47 answers

You give am the money abi u don promise to give am,

If u don promise then u need give the POOR guy the money,

For me its not too ok, not even the asking for money that irritates me but the constant complain of no money.

If u give him this money now be very sure of giving him again and again.

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IMO,it is wrong for the guy to do that testing or no testin.why would any1 wanna test any1 with money?but my prob wit dis is dat if it was d babe that asked for money most likey d guy wont giv it this much thot b4 droppin.

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@Poster,

YOu are the one dealing with the guy(not nairalanders) so I'll suggest you find out if his needs are genuine.

If they are then you can assist but if they are not. . . GoodLuck with your next relationship.

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hey did he tell u what he needs the money for?

and if its not a huge amount then u can if u feel like.

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@post

chei!

y on earth wil a guy hav d gut 2 ask a gal 4mony. weather na boyfriend level or husband level.a guy is meant 2fend 4himself not begging.

@poster

sounds obviously unmanly 2me.dont give in.

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2 months and I have slept with him?

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~ It's either u giv him or not, no need for too much noise. Just make it an opportunity cost ~

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Sista,

2months is too early to help

a freind you probably have slept

with?

I don't think so!

I know we should be careful in things

like this but its not a bad idea to help

if this person is in need.

Tony

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Yes friends should help friends.

so lets remove the title bf/gf and deal with this just as two people that met and built a friendship 2 months ago.

Would you loan a new friend some cash?

Or

Would you expect that your friend would go to other friends that they have known longer to ask for the help?

Is the reason he cant go to them because he burnt his bridges there?

Is it because he does not pay money back?

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Ok that's cool.

as in let nobody

pull his or her wallet.

But I still think that

freinds can help each

other.

Just do what you can.

Try to know what he needs

the money for.

If you think its important then

try to do something i.e if you

are capable of doing anthing.

Tony

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Notting is wrong but i think too early becourse if na me i go do some how too

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No i dont think the woman should ask the man for money either.

I think each should be able to handle all of the bills and personal obligations the same way they were doing it before you hooked up.

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Let's see this the other way round.

What if it was the girl that needed

money, wud it be wrong for her to

ask her boyfriend for help?

This is  where I don't agree with most

ladies. Don't feel that you are in a

relationship only to recieve, that

would selfish.

So my dear if you think that this guy

really needs your help to achieve

some time very important and you

are capable of helping him, baby don't think

twice: Help him.

Tony

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It has been my personal experience and those around me that if a guy asks a woman for money before spending a dime he will dig her empty.

Sorry but one of my rules is no money before 6 months, unless it is extreme emergency (mother got sick got to travel).

I dont ask for money before the 6 month mark and expect my man to follow suit.  I expect that he would have other resourses to go to before coming to me and that his pride would not allow him to even pucker his lips to ask me.

Where is male pride?  You know that male pride that says I can pay my own bills and pay my own way and dont want to appear weak or broke to this woman that I want to impress.  How am I susposed to be impressed by a guy that has not spent any money on me (dam can a sista get a $1 McChicken) but asks me for money.

I would give him the money, if it is enough that i can afford to loose, then tell him this is not working. . . I wish you the best.

I dont need someone else to take care of that I cant claim on my taxes.

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tonye,

Thanks so much for your advice. I will definitely do something about that.

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@ SISTERWOMAN,

sister to be frank your posts encourages me, but wats up with your kinda posts these days, how could you tell someone to run away from a relationship dats still too young, i ask you: what is WRONG in a guy asking a chic for money even if he is a gold-digger, gold diggers dont dig everywhere ( mind you) i thought i used to hear peeps like you say a realtionship should be mutual and be rooted in PATIENCE, aint this a scenario you may have gotten hooked up doesnt mean others should not find love, afterall no one is perfect

MY OWN ADVICE

1. Poster if you'll ask me, i'll say if you truly love this G in question, give him money but. . . tell him this wont always continue dat way, better still if you have the opportunity to get him a good job, get him one (ITS CALLED SACRIFICE in RELATIONSHIP)

2. It could be that you have shown off yourself to be rich and expensive, thereby making him to ask, the both of you especially you should try and redefine your newly fond relationship

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i dont suppose u have this money he asked for?

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Girl strap up your Nike's and take a hike.

Get out of there.  Once you open the wallet they never let you close it. . . gold diggers that is.

Tell him he can enroll in my HIT (Hoes In Training) Institute.  One of the first semester classes is "when is the appropriate time to ask for money"  Second quarter class "If you ask for the money too soon".

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He'z simply a golddigger. u better flee b4 he drains you dry!

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it depends on ur custom, but i really do not c anything wrong with it

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There is nuthing wrong but damn, why would 2 sisters wanna marry 4rom da same family? are they da only good family around? there must be sumthing about dat family, lol,

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I don't see anything wrong with that. Its people's personal feelings and opinions that arise to oppose such union. But there is nothing spiritually, physically or looking for another english, wrong with it. Some people would'nt, doesnt mean it is wrong.

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nah,dnt see anything wrong with dat, its all abt cd feelin

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Once the love it there, there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s just like marrying your brother’s wife’s younger sister; it brings families closer to each other. . . there’s nothing wrong with it.

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not so. . . . they are 'in -law' not by blood. the law is too fickle.

@topic

I think it would be too much confusion for the children.

would you say to yuor kid. . "come say hi to your father in-law in-law??"

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Na you sabi oo take it or leave it that action is call PHOTOCOPY WIFE out of here work to do

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Did you read the thread at all or you were in a hurry? It is not about me but a friend.

She got to kn the guy due to visits to the sister's place. They ve bn going out for a long time, more than 5yrs.

My 1st thought was where were the parents when they were going out. I kn they kept it as secret but the parents must ve suspected ans ask questions.

Also, the girls cousin she was staying with in school was aware and did nothing ( not sure if she did something or not) but now when alot of water has passed under the bridge.

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Depends on where u are from, ur race/culture/beliefs. I won't go with dat, its wrong by my standards.

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@poster --------- Very very very bad and evil stay out ok, l guess you got her cheap because your big bro has already done it all, go outside the world and get your own wify ok l will call that a photocopy wife.

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Well to say the trusth, I am confuse as to what the right thing is in this case. I kn that when a person get married into a family, the 2 families more or less become one.

But then, since both sides are not blood related, can it be wrong?

It is like an adopted child get wanting to get married to the a member of the family that he/she is adopted into. You can say it is wrong cos they are not blood related but it does not look right cos of the fact the adopted member is more or less a part of that family.

Pls can my fellow nairalanders make their contributions as I intend to print this thread out and give it to my friend to read.

Kind Regards

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I dont see anything wrong with that.

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i really don't know o.  Beats me.  Maybe he thinks it will make him a man.

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He started the whole thing again by sending her the msg so he should bear d consequence. I wonder how he's gonna deal with a girl

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awwww

Mind if I buzz arnd 7? That's when it ends

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motigbo.

topic

why bother with the girl. it's an immature idea.

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shhhh! Contribute to the topic. are you on yahoo

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He's moving on, he's just getting off at the next stop

What's with the hurt this, hurt that . . . abeg her friend id not blind

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Uche, long time no see.

Textbooks weigh more? What have you been carrying around? Moping sticks in substitute of a girl?

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This is just too sad.

I wonder why lil boys are allowed to carry girls around instead of their textbooks.

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you dont pay evil for evil

The guy is not mature enough, if not he wud not do that

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ur friend is so childish,he has a lot of growing up to do

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I think dude needs to hold up wait a minute, take a sec and get back in it. Tell dude that it is over oka. No need holding on to old memories. There are plenty of other women more deserving of his time and love. Oka when you said "deal with her" i hope he never thinks of getting physical or goes into stalking mode. But on the real, he needs to let her go and move on because i understand that he is hurt but everyone gets hurt one time or another. But as grown people you gotta pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

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