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Is This Some Sort Of Heart Break Technique?

I don’t know if anyone in the house has ever experienced this but I need a fix right now because I'm kinda losing it. I apologise if a similar thread has been posted before but I see my case as that of Benjamin Burton.

Intro: I'm a student in my final year in the University due to Graduate by Sept this year (So help me God). I've got a pretty girl I'm dating and we attend the same school. She is a medical student in her 3rd year and still has about 4 years ahead to become a Doc. We've been together since she was in PreDegree (3 Years +) and to the best of my knowledge I'm her first!

The Issh: I noticed recently that each time after *** she says "Tweety you don’t love me like you used to" I then ask why and she says she doesn’t know but she just feels it. This is not true cos my feelings towards her hasn’t changed. Now this evening she comes to me and tells me she wants my advice over an issue (I normally give her advice on many issues but hell no not this one) She says that there's a dude who's been asking her out and that he wants to marry her ASAP and that he's dead serious and that the guy told her so many things that has put her head on the fast lane and that lots of stuffs are running through her head, Furthermore she tells me that the dude hails from her home town plus other craps you dont wanna know (She also said the dude said he'll wait for her whatever happens cos she told him she's in a relationship). Now she’s been asking me what she should do. She'll be 20 by Sept. Her Elder sis (22) is married though and I'm a trying boi (I haven’t got it all but I know things will go well no doubt cos no dulling) I give her stuffs in my own little way and she appreciates. Now what I want to know is what should I say? She cried all through the night singing some gospel songs asking God for Wisdom!!! OMG I felt pain deep down inside me. All I told her was "Do whatever pleases you" She asked me if I still loved her and I said yes, (Lords knows this to be true), she then proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t love the dude that it’s me that she loves but she was persistent on this question about what she should do. I haven’t told her nothing cos' I'm in a confused state as well. I dunno if she thinks I aint serious bout our relationship or something. Please folks I need your contributions to this Issh ,  I've got ma Project to tidy, some other academic issues to attend to and an emotional setback is the last thing I need right now on ma list. Plus I've never had a broken relationship all ma L I F E.

P L E A S E A D V I C E

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11 answers

You seem like you really care for your girlfriend, I'm quite unsure why she's confused or troubled by the decision, but if she's deeply spiritual, she might see it as a sign or a message. It all depends on the individual.

If you love her enough to marry her and be patient with her, then you must reassure her that you love her, at least this way, you cannot be blamed for anything, she cannot say that it was true, that you never cared for her.

Who knows maybe she's confused on the level of your relationship, does she think she's going to be with you forever, is she even ready for marriage, are you?? Is it that she's been wanting to get married for a while now, because this guy may have answered her prayers - but they confusion is from the fact that she has no feelings for this guy.

I hope that she's a smart woman, and that she will make the decision that is best for herself, and not just weigh up odds or take gambles.

I think she should just follow her heart and what she knows, we all learn lessons one way or the other, she may learn that you're the best thing that's ever happened to her or she might find out that she's not ready for anything too serious now.

She may also be receiving pressure from family to get married.

Has she ever brought up the issue of marriage with you?

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@ poster, reassure her of ur luv but dont act as if u're jealous. The truth is that she has started dating the other man who promise to marry her. Make up ur mind, so dat maybe or maybe not u loose her u won't be too disturbed emotionally, but i advice u not to allow ur relatnship to hinder ur academic progress. Focus on ur academics and fight for ur future to be bright. Guy when u make it u will become every lady's man.

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@poster.We were all once in ur shoes.With benefit of hindsight,we appreciate the stupidity in all that we call love while in univ, nostalgic!U hav to face ur project and final exams.Some folks had series of academic problems 'cos of the so calle 'love'affairs.[b[i]]My coursemate then was 'waffed' out of medical school while his gf graduated cos he paid more attention 'dragging' this snake with a senior Dr in the teaching hospital then[/b][/i].U also hav NYSC ahead.When ur thru wiv all this,u'll now join the labour,favour market and work for a while before u stabilize;then u will be in good standing to answer this seemingly difficult question!Use ur head not ur d**k.A word is enough for the tutored! Goodluck!

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this is serious.

looking at the age of the girl, am tempted to say'oh she is still young' as evident in her gut to table such a slap provoking issue before her 'boyfriend' but on a second thot, drawing from shared(not personal) experiences, even older ladies could do same.

no longer do women desire emotional security, they want financial security as much as the latter. they want a secured future, but there is notin such as a secured future.no one knows 2morow.

relationship is becoming riskier than investing in the stock market.(punchline)

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With ur responses, sorry but to me u sound like a kid

How old are u? marriage is for MEN and am sure u dnt sound like one that is ready in the next 5 years

I agree with puskin, life in school is different

all this i love u inside campus are different in the real world

Be a man pls and handle this issue like one

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I luv dat "pretentiously looking 4a way 2date anoda w-out feeling any guilt"

Stillwater is rite. She (ur supposed gf) has spotted ur weakness nd is trying 2capitalise on dat.

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Let me tell you. You would be taken for granted all the time if that's how you approach issues. Women will take advantage of that and probably label you a wimp. Why do you think she could come to you, her supposed boyfriend for "advice" pretentiously looking for a way to date another so that she won't feel any guilt while she slices your heart into two? She obviously has been nurturing second thoughts about future prospects with you.

I'll advice you leave dating for now and face your studies. Make a man out of yourself. No offense intended o.

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Yo! mate , I didnt know what to say ,

I was just acting cool but inside me I was loooooooosing strenght mehn! ,

I guess I shouldnt have said that but that was all I could think of at the time.

Yeah I do love her ,

L I F E 'S a b**ch sometimes ,

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Are you sure you really love this girl? She came telling you rosy tales and you say "Do whatever you please"? Were you just being nice or what?

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Thanks Mate ,

What you're asking me to do now is , "Let Go" ? , you think it's gon' be for a greater good?

Mehn! , I dont even want to Imagine it , Am I really living in DreamLand?

OMG!!! "I dont enter ,

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No broken r/s both ur lives. U both nid 2hv one 4xperience.

But b4 dat, do U luv dis gal strongly enuff 2marry her. U mite/wud say yes, but Uv nt cum in2 d outer world. A university is just a microcosm of d outer world.

U r just goin 2finish skool dis year-end. So many things/obstacles lie ahead of U.

I once tot like U, luving sum gal like U r nw. Bring urself 2reality, d problem is she is ready 4marriage nd confused nd U r nt confused nd yet, not ready.

U both nid 2hv a serious tètè-a-tètè focusing on urselves in d past, present nd future.

U both can then decide 4urselves wat nxt.

But, if i were U. . . . . . . . .there r so many biutiful gals out there, @least more than 4.5billion. D remaining,

GO FIGURE.

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