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Is This Weird?

Nlanders, I dated a girl sometimes ago not really because i loved her as i professed to; but simply because as a bad boy (Although am praying that God should change me), i wanted to teach her a lesson.

What was her offence?This girl started making demands for recharge card few days after we got to know each other, and i became very mad deep inside of me because as a girl from a well-to-do background, i didn't expect such degrading attitude from her. I played along and i discovered that she loved me by virtue of the things she was doing for me such as gifts, and stuffs like that.

Yet, my mind had been poisoned by that initial "unpalatable" attitude on her part and i was determined to play on her, chop her and dump her when she least expects. At the end, it wasn't a good story for her when she realised i was dating someone even better than her and things ended tragic.

Right now, i feel like calling her like a sister and make her see the peril of making demands on a guy when you 've not known what the guy is up to. what do U guys think?

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35 answers

Thanks steve49ja.

I pray things turn out well and if otherwise, i move on fast cos she was the one that said its over between us and like a Hollywood movie, the reality of her leaving me started to dawn on me and i realised i didn't love any of those other girls like her despite their stunning looks.

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Good enough bro,

    Loving this girl aint just the issue but are you ready to prove it over and over to her?, i also would like to know how you broke up with her, did she see you with someone else or did you just tell her it was over.

If you really love this girl like you claim then go get her no matter the cost, i'll advice you talk to her one on one and see how she reacts and answer your questions.

A girl might be mad but not really over you and it's sometimes hard to differenciate the cause of attitudes (when mad and when over you) except you're a genius or just happen to know the girl so well.

Apologise to her if you are ready to have her back but be aware she aint gon trust you like that, dout she'll even trust you like before unless you earn it.

Send friends to her have her understand you're a changed man but first you'll have to know if trully you want this girl for the right reasons.

Bottom line:

Conclude on what it is you want,send her a gift through someone close to her with some sweet words attached on how much you miss her and how you're ready to trade anything to have a feel of her lips again.

Get to meet her maybe you have a friend take her somewhere and you appear there too more like a surprise to her but a planned work between you and her friend.

Be manly about this and be ready to take whatever comes along but theres no hundred percent guarantee that you'll get this girl back and pray another dude aint there yet.

Treat her like in a new way change something about you maybe the way you talk around her or the way you see things or the way you criticise things and have her believe youre a changed man.

If the first date can end with a kiss or hug or peck dude you have your way again and be a better man aight dude change makes the world go round.

Talk to her

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@steve49ja

For clearity sake, i wasn't seeking any praise. I just discovered that i really love a girl i had hurt and i feel guilty for my actions. I mean i have not been SERIOUS with any girl before and sometimes when people talk about dating their partner for say 1, 2, 3 years, I just feel something is wrong with me cos i have never dated any girl as long as that. I either lose interest along the line or get hooked up with another chic, thereby, inflicting emotional pains on the previos one.

So to your question, one, i want to know if it makes sense to go over to this chic and apologise for my mis-deeds. and secondly my chances of getting back with her cos i realise i love her like crazy, you know.

Lastly, how do i go about this cos she seems not to trust me again. I need your candid advise.

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I just dont gerrit mehn?

I thought you came on here searching praises,glory and stuff? but here you are wanting us to advice you on how to go about you being in love and cant forgive yourself

Need i ask you what it is you want? dont think asking you how old you are is necessary but you make me think i need to know to be able to know how matured your thinking is.

Dude you aint sure of what you want and you have alot of thinking to do.

Do you love this chic?

What is it you want? To get back with this chic?

What is it you would want us to advice you about?

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@Taken

Thanks for your sincere piece of advise. I 'd rather apologize and let her be. I feel somewhat happy now that am about quitting an attitude that i have not been very proud of. Infact, her bro is my friend, though not too close, you know.

My main confusion is: What and how am i going to make this known to her, what and what should i say to her? am really sorry if i bother anyone with my probs

I think God didn't create me to channel my youthful vigor, handsomeness and brains for stuffs like this and to all those whom i have broken hearts in the past, I BEG you all to find a place in your fragile hearts to forgive me.

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Dont know the answer to that.

I know these though: Forward a true-sincere apology, search your own heart and know who you are and what you want in life with regards to women, don't ask her to commit - let her be for now, hope for the best and let time and chance take their toll, still be a normal friend to her if she allowed it.

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@Taken

Thanks but do you think she would still want to take me back after the apology? Or i should just let things be?

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Good response - stop playing girls. Rather start building for a good everlasting relationship.

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@kingzli

I can feel you and am going to do just that cos honestly speaking i have never felt this way before with all the girls i have dated in the past.

Right now i even feel like pulling away from my present girl and getting HER back (which i doubt how its gonna work) or i just be myself for sometimes. I want to stop PLAYING girls.

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What you did was bad man ! Have you heard of the word NEMESIS ?

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@poster what you did wasn't really nice. It would do you a lot of good to apologise and have her forgive you.

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@poster what you did wasn't really nice. It would do you a lot of good to apologise and have her forgive you.

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I still strongly believe you owe her sincere apology with full explanation like you did online. 

She will read it later and that will help her settle some doubts in her mind. 

God's forgiveness does demands saying sorry to whomever you might have injured.

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@jibbygir

So u mean its wrong to sincerely approach her for forgivenes? I find it difficult forgiving myself. So i thought it would give me some relief if i do just that. What do you feel

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Its ok. We make mistakes sometime. But u ve got to learn from this expeirence of urs and move forward. U can pour your heart to her through text messages

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Pls how am i going to go about the apology thing? She's still mad at me even if she manages to pick or return my calls and i feel writing a letter is outdated. What do you think? cos i can see the "madness" on her face and am not comfortable with it anymore.

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@higznet

I'm not going to lash out at you just like you did. I 've got self control, but i have got something to say so as to set the records straight. But you gotta hold ya sword!

In the first place, i must be quick to admit that i loved the girl until she got me thinking what manner of a girl is this.

Secondly, i also did somethings for her too because like i said earlier, i LOVE the girl but she couldn't just trust me probably because i didnt promise to marry her and i said to myself, what's the assurance that this girl is not going to do something crazy if she starts seeing me with some of my female friends. She might conclude that i have got something to do with them.

And again, i sensed insecurity on her part cos there was a day a girl in my hood who has been disturbing me called while i was with THIS CHiC and i told the other girl straightaway that i wasn't interested (At least just to make her believe in me), yet she kept on saying she's loosing the trust she has for me.

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Well the deed is done. I would suggest that you sincerely send a message of apology to her and explain to her your crime just as you did to us here online. Don't forget to mentioned that you were a bad boy at that time. And don't excuse your actions when you write to her or talk to her.

Confessing to her sincerely will do some kind of healing - Trust me.

Finally, damn u were a true ruda boy.

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Nlanders, I dated a girl sometimes ago not really because i loved her as i professed to; but simply because as a bad boy (Although am praying that God should change me), i wanted to teach her a lesson,  U MEAN AS A silly BOY! I PARY GOD CHANGES U FAST!!.

What was her offence? NOTHING!! This girl started making demands for recharge card few days after we got to know each other, and i became very mad deep inside of me because as a girl from a well-to-do background, i didn't expect such degrading attitude from her. I played along and i discovered that she loved me by virtue of the things she was doing for me such as gifts, and stuffs like that.. BECAUSE OF N100 RECHARGE CARD U DISGRACED URSELF (NOT US). AND U DEGRADED URSELF BY ACCEPTING HER OWN GIFT WHICH I'M SURE COULD HAVE BOUGHT UR N100 RECHARGE CARD ONE MILLION TIMES OVER. U ARE A BIG THIEF.

Yet, my mind had been poisoned by that initial "unpalatable" attitude on her part MORE LIKE UNPALATABLE STUPIDITY ON UR PART and i was determined to play on her, chop her and dump her THOUGHT U SAID U DIDNT CHOP HER when she least expects. At the end, it wasn't a good story for her when she realised i was dating someone even better than her and things ended tragic. HOW DO U QUANTIFY OF QUALIFY PEOPLE? BY FACIAL LOOKS, PARENT'S WEALTH, SIZE OR WHAT?

YES THIS IS WEIRD & U ARE WEILD. GROW UP MY BOY. U WANT HER TO GET RECHARGE CARD FROM ANOTHER MAN TO CALL U WITH. WAIT TILL U ARE ABLE TO AFFORD GIRLS BEFORE U DATE THEM. GOODLUCK.

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Zik,

U make sense. We live here in Naija where babes can turn any little act from a guy to meaning MUGU. I have casual gilr-friends who always feed me with tales about some of the poor assed guys. I know i prolly would have let her go and not agreeing to date her since i sensed danger cos i ve got what it takes to get the girl of my dream- looks, personality, brains, humor, you name it.

But am really sorry and i pray she will find a place in her heart to forgive me cos the last time we talked, she was like she's not suppose to be talking with me again due to what i did to her.

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@Busy body

U are right but the truth is that i'm not crying like you alleged but i just feel sorry for her each time i see her cos she lives in my hood

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@steve49ja

Honestly speakin, if i meet a girl that's REAL, i dont bother about such little things. I dated a girl in the past who never asked me for anything, but most times i made use of my discretion to know what she wants and i give it to her. I'm not a stingy kind of a guy but i just got the wrong signals from her which drove me crazy

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Asking for recharge is asking for discharge

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steve sorry oooh, simple because ur folks tot u to be a free giver in a things dont mena the posta has to do same.

and more so is that how ur sisters go around asking every dude 4 reharge card?

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If you are still in a relationship, now is not the right time to call her, because she will think you are calling to gloat. You can send her an email or pour out your heart to her in a letter, but let the dusts settle first.

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@Daphoenix,

Take it easy with me. We live in an era where being "too nice'' to a girl makes you look like a MUGU and so, everyone is always on the look-out to avoid any silly fork-up. I also guess you are a lady judging by your perception and emotions. But you just have to allow a little dose of objectivity take its toll on you so you can see things the way they should be

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dude dont let them make u feel l ike u was the only wrong party.

why wud she make demands on a guy she dont really knw much about.

nah so girlz dey spoil things for them selves b4 it even starts.

what ever dude u payed for the services she rendered. simple.

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@anne marien,

Thanks cos i think you make a whole lot of sense.

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@arammyjay,

Softly, softly, I never had it in mind that things were going to turn the other way cos she's got what i wanted in a girl. Even at that, i called to beg her for forgiveness which most guys would never do, and yet, she turned me down.

At a time, i realised i needed her but it was too late.

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Just because she came from a well to do family does not mean she will always have money at hand to make a call. You said she gave you gifts, what will you do if she think you are worthless for taking her gifts?

You should have told her you don't have money when she asked for help instead of using her and then hurting her love.

To your question, yes, it is weird.

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@olanajim

Dont get it wrong. I never had sex with her, with all sincerity. Although, we almost fell into that trap but somehow we managed to stop. I mean, i did other things with her but not sex; the kissig, smooching, manipulation and touching. That's all. So i wouldn't say i have used her because she was even the one that initiated the separation.

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wat is wrong with her asking u for a recharge that soon, mere recharge card 4 dat matter.  I wonder wat u would have done if she requested for a phone. u should have rejected and she will know ur true colours. b/w, guys ask for sex dat soon 2 and am sure u r not left out. Nemesis will catch up with u

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Round of applause. How dare she ask you for recharge cards? Is it your fault she has no other way to call her friend to come pick her up? She must be mad not to know how expensive it is. Good thing you showed her how much of a mooch you can be when given the opportunity next time she'll learn never to give men tokens of appreciation even when, like you, they are obviously in need. But you didn't just stop there, no sir, you went on to bite the hand that fed your broke Bottom and shattered her heart. That is truly commendable.

Come by my office for your Medal of Shame, you've rightly earned it.

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@poster,

2 wrongs never make a right bro. you shoulda let karma take care of the chic instead of taking the law into your own hands, walked out of the relationship when you noticed her love for vanity. this bad habit would have gotten her into trouble sooner or later.without you instigating it.

as for advicing her like a sister,can't tell you what to do just know, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

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I think you are a horrible,and a terrible excuse for a human being.Imagine if some1 did that to your sister.

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