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Ladies, How Far Would You Go To Keep A Guy?

I have known this girl for a year exact today. She's pretty and all but she not the one for me.

We started out really nice and then, we started slipping. I started seeing errors in almost every thing she does. I guess because my mind was telling me "she's not the one! Move on bro". As much as I try to let her know, the more she feels she could change for me.

The story changed when I called her just minutes to midnite. She was furious when I told her for sure we are done now. Her words were: "You're trying to take away the joy I've known. I gave you everything and anything you wanted. And now you want to leave me? Well, I refuse to be dumped and would do everything I can to keep you."

She then switched off her phone. Not a word more from her.

I am not exactly shaken by those words(threats?) but I just can't understand why she still wants to hold on even if I don't reciprocate the love she has for me?

I would like to know from the ladies, what would you do if a guy you love so much wants out of the relationship? Would you back out? Or fight to stay on?

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15 answers

@Maleeq

not trying to sound like a feminist, but i think you're just being wicked (even though i don't blame your emotions for the sudden weather-change).

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The truth is, we were separated by distance a little. We met while I was in Jos. I left just about 3weeks later for Lagos. We however kept contact(phone) and occasionally when I'd go over to her place in Jos. May be a fault here, but I never asked to come over to my place in Lagos. We spent the most time together when I got a study leave from my work place. This time, I spent about a month with her. I cant really say my expectations were not met but the feelings just started dropping. It seems the more of her I saw made me doubt the "happily ever after" end. I left with this on my mind only to call her up on the phone later to let her know. She asked for a chance to change and I never gave a direct answer to that question that states, "No, Its over" until now.

@fashlak

I must admit to this, she's two year older than me! I always said age did not count, but I reviewed it and yes, it's one of the reason I want out.

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@fine yansh

lol!! no bi lie. dem say boyfriend plenty, but husband scarce.

@maleeq

i am a guy like you. first thing that came to my mind when you said you discovered she wasn't for you after how many months, was you've had your piece of the kpomo and right now, she has lost value in your eyes. however, that might not be the case here. before i say anything, i'd like you to tell me the things you were expecting from her that made you wait for so long and eventually never came out. you now see faults in everything she's been doing lately. did she start doing them wrongly all of a sudden, or you're just not satisfied with how she does them? maybe before, your afang soup was plain, but she has started including perewinkles in them and you don't appreciate the extra effort. please, talk to me!

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This is not d tym to start blamin "some gurls" or blaming maleeq for being too serious wit d gurls as u call it. Now lets get something straight. U date sme1 cos u want to know d person beta aight? N if d person doesnt fit, u make it known n search 4 d rite person. Now, not everi1 knows dat, so u hve to call dis gurl in question, sit her down n talk sense into her. A broken relationship is far beta dan a broken marriage or a marriage without peace. She cant change n stop being who she is, it will last for just sme tym And at dis point, dont dare a womans capability n sit down thre n say u dont think shell go in for dis or dat. Ill advice u to pray first dat GOd gives her an understanding heart b4 u talk to her so dat when u talk to her she can undstnd n forgive u. Its not easy , so dnt sit down thr n think its very easy, esp whn shes taken d relationship farther dan it was. Be prayerful too.

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Sometimes i wonder why some guys do not take their time before getting serious with a girl. I guess you must have shown her some seriousness in the relationship before she's getting this serious in doing everything she can to keep you. But then, no matter what, if am in her shoes i'll back out cos there's no point forcing myself in a relationship am no longer needed.

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I dont know why some ladies are like that they'll know a particular guy does not love them but dat still wont stop them 4rm throwing themselves at him. For me i won't even let you do the breaking up cos once i feel the relationship is heading towards that direction i'll do the breaking up myself to save myself some pride. As 4 ur question some ladies can go to any length to have a guy. I'll advice you sort things out in a better way by talking to her physically and explaining why u want to be out of the relationship in nice way. If she tells you she has forgiven you then u must keep contact with her by calling her often so she wont feel neglected by you. Hope this helps.

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not to any lenght, if the guy think we can't go on again I'll let him be instead of wasting my time changing unchangable situation.

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What are you all saying, what made you leave her at the first place, after all dis while, i think u need to sit her down and give a genuie reason y u are quiting the relationship, about the threat stuff, it depend on her age, if shes close to 26, 27, 28 thenyou need to be prayer ful cos she might have depended on you Big Time (As-in marraige)

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She did notice I was drifting away, but always felt things would get better if we'd only try harder.

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A relationship is a two person deal.

If he isnt willing to pull his weight and has given up on it - then i would probably be put off.

It totally depends also on how long the relationship has been for.

And if he is someone i see as a keeper then i dont know how far i would go.

Totally depends on the length of the relationship as i said earlier.

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A relationship is a two person deal.

If he isnt willing to pull his weight and has given up on it - then i would probably be put off.

It totally depends also on how long the relationship has been for.

And if he is someone i see as a keeper then i dont know how far i would go.

Totally depends on the length of the relationship as i said earlier.

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Maleeq, it doesn't really mean she'll do juju to you. She might just stalk you till all other girls dump you out of frustration.

I'd advice you to talk to her friends or anyone that's close to her that you know. That way they can talk her into forgetting all about you.

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It's the second one(JUJU mission) that got me thinking there for a while. The little I know about her hopes she won't resort to it.

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@uyai

'2day' as in 'today'.(changed that now)

I cant really say when I realized it but the first time I told her about us not being together was like four months now. But we've still have been in touch since then.

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when did you realize she's not the one for u? after a year and 2days? come on

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