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Man or Woman, Who Should Pay on a Restaurant Date?

I'm not sure if this has been discussed before but..het

A man asks a woman out and she accepts. He ends up taking her on a date. They go to a fancy restaurant.They have fun eating and generally enjoying eachother's company. Then the bill comes. He turns to her and says

"So how are we gonna settle this?"

The woman is surprised and gives him her credit card, she tells him to do what he feels is right. She excuses herself and goes to the bathroom. Her date ends up using her credit card to pay for everything and she never goes out with him again.

My question is:

1) On a date who pays? Does this only apply to a first date?

2) Do you believe in going "dutch"

3) What happened to the line "I'm Miss Independent"?

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100 answers

It depend on who is inviting who to the date, if i invite a man , why not i will pay, except he insist.

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It's necesarily the person asking for a date.

anyone of them can pay.

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whoever did the asking should do the paying.

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I simply think the asker outer should do the paying . . .

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I don't pay for men. Once I get to know you and you have courted me properly, I may offer to pay once in a while. Also I am considerate woman. I am not the kind to find the most expensive place to go. I will chose a moderate restaurant. In addition, you could include some free events. I know the man has bills too. However,I would never take a man seriously if he expects woman to pay for him. In my eyes, he is a male, not a man. You should not date, if you don't have the means to do so. Such a man will always be my buddy, when I am not involved in a real relationship. I mean he will always be my platonic buddy. He is someone I hang out with, when there is nothing else to do. With this sort of guy I don't mind paying my own way. Because I don't see him a desirable suitor or potential lover. He is strickly in the friend category.

How can I respect you as the man when you are not acting like "the" man. There is nothing more attractive that a real man.

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do you really think men should always pay?

you know they kinda often use the excuse: "OOPS! i forgot my wallet at home."

if I were the woman i'd:

1. pay the bill - if it's the first time

2. pay it and have him pay half or all as soon as he gets back his wallet

3. leave him there to wash the dishes untill he has paid his debts!

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man of coruse,woman never pay

no man gonna tell thire woman to pay, than that man must be real p.i.m.

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I agree with u guys if a guy ask a girl out on a date. he should pay. I had that experience, i went to a restaurant with a guy n he gave the man at the restaurant his card n the man said , there was no money on the card. how embarassing?. He only had 20pounds with him and d meal n everything costed 30pounds. Thank God i had money with me. D guy was a proper Golddigger. he even said he would pay me back. liar, he never did. How much is 10pounds. chicken-change. am so over d guy of guy like dat. i will never date a guy dat i'm richer than.

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All this resturant date, wear suite or getting a cruise on the first date is not my thing. Just go to library or maybe agree to meet in a park or something. EVen outside on a road side, seat down and just laugh. If u two like urself then u can proceed to spending money. that is just how it works for me. if u like call me a seek Bottom.

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This isn't all about money....its about the sentiment.

Lets not forget that in all this talk about money afterall when taking out a girl I'm conducting a financial transaction but making a gesture from the heart!!

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whoever asked for the date is to pay the restaurant bill

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i'll rather prefer to share the bill 50-50 if it's ok for him. but men and their egos..uhhhh

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and every male in the house say AMEN to that!!!

snazzy, Ocho and co sher una don hear wetin them talk?

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Whomever is doing the asking should pay. Now if there seems to be a spark between the 2 people involved then the woman might feel compelled to ask the man out the next time and then she should be paying and communicating this all up front would be best for both people.

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thank you very much!!!

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oh well, thats tough. If I was the girl, am gon pay just to save us the embarrasment, but i aint gon go out with him ever again. I think he ought to make proper arrangements before taking the girl out to a restaurant. He could have just asked the girl to stay over at his house and they can order something or at least cook something instead of him making a fool of himself taking her to a restaurant. That is what I call bad. There is nothing wrong with a girl paying the bill, but this is a first date for crying out loud!

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wande,are you a scrub?no offence abeg....why must a girl pay for you in order to gain your respect?Thats really sick!!!

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@wande: oh pleaseeee!!!!

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Any lady that value her respect and want the guy to stay should make the first move when it it comes settling bills.

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i asked my cousin this question and he was said he'd rather he and the girl go to a forsest or something.........you know like those ones in Nigerian movies where romance scenes are acted and the couple sing love songs to each other all day, that, he said, would cost him less than going to a restaurant. guys sef. lol

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so it is settled den... no more paying for anything when U and the chic hit silver bird to watch movies or ocean view for dinner

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People. Let's stop mis-interpreting the bible. The bible also says disobedient children should be stoned to death. I think it's not as straightforward as you guys are quoting it.

The whole "provide for your family" thing comes from a time when the world was mostly physical, so due to the difference in physical strength between men and women, men did the more menial activities, while women tended to sit pretty. Nowadays, we have a more intellectual based world. In this world, there is very little difference between men and women. Of course as I said earlier, there is a tendency for naija babes to simply wait for some guy to come and pay all their bills, either because of abject laziness or social pressure. Most times they make up for it, or claim to make up for it by doing the cooking and cleaning et all.

For someone like me, I can cook the average woman out of the kitchen, and I have a good amount of tidiness inbuilt. What appeal does it have for me to date a babe when all she has to offer is cooking and cleaning? If I need cooking and cleaning, I'll hire a cook/ cleaner. Now we begin to see the reason why so many Naija babes in the western world find it so difficult to get bfs and get married. Their wahala can sometimes be too much

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Speaking for me < whoever eats the most will Pay.>

PAYE=Pay As You Eat.

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let the woman pay for a change.

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So inside all this yarnings wey dey make man confuss, wetin una don decide to do. Nah for the chic to pay the bills cos it is about time they take up some of the responsibilities.

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On the first date, it will be rite 4 d guy 2 pay but afta dat its anyone,d guy shld not stress himself all the time 2 please him and his woman

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I believe questions like this should be asked privately.

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I assume u are in Nigeria? if so, how many babes have really asked u out? I mean out on a date, like "Hi XXXX, how about joining me for dinner at XXXX?"

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The guy should not have done that. If he did not have money, he should not have suggested going out to a restaurant.

Even as friends, it is not a decent thing to do.

In Africa, it is the culture for the man to take of care of things like that. This is because africa is a male dominated society. Financally speaking, on the average, men are more powerful than women in Africa so it is expected that a man should always spend.

In the westen world, it is a different matter, though it is expected the the man should spend more than the woman because it still a male dominated society too but not as pronounced as it is in africa.

The problem that people from africa (especailly african man ) face in the western world is that african man are not as financially powerfully as they should be for various obvious reasons. Also everybody is on a level plain field and i dont have any problem with that. Anybody can be financially stronger than anybody regardless of your sex.

Infact things are generally easier for black woman in the western world than black man-[ it is a fact]

it is high time we realised that the" african mentality" of the man solely taking care of things financially and the woman not spending will not work. It has led to family splitting, unneccessary stress, Single parentage, dysfuntional homes, all the name of "that is how we do it in Africa." I am not saying it is like that in every home. No!

If both the man and the woman are working then they should split the cost from time to time. Help each other.

But on a first date, haba! The man should prepare himself and spoil the woman.

Orunmila said that " Man should take care of his woman but if things are bad and the woman can do anything within her power to help then all the better" because they reap the fruits of tranquility and happiness.

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Whiteshark is not confused. He's confuss.

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@GG, No! at least, not yet, but i'm not saying i won't.

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I laugh when I see questions like this.

Suppose the man does not have a job and no money but needs to go on a dinner date with his girlfriend, who will foot that bill ... vis a vis ?

There is no standing rule that states that so and such should pay when eva this and that goes out on dates. Have u not heard of the dutch treat?? Anyone can pay te bills my dear, it is nor mandatory or compulsory that the male or the famale do it. If these folks are really and trully in love, them to go fight on who will pay the bill anytime them stroll out I tell u.

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well boyfriend/girlfriend eventually leads to marraige dosen't it? besides, there're other women troubles girls have while dating, you know, emotional stuff.

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@perrtyH, even if they are, they'll say they aren't. you know! it's always about the male EGO!!

@GG, it still applies to boyfriend/girlfriend.

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No now i've got to ask this question , are guys tired of paying the bills?

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Heh heh heh. If you wanna do better, then pay the whole bill, don't share it. At the moment, I agree that men and women are equal, not that women are better.

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Banderas and Shegs...i too gbadun una...The nail has been overhit on the head.

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It's when it comes to money matters that you people remember African Culture and that we have to act like men.

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Oga, thanks for your post mate. You're really a good guy!!!

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Hey PrettyH, the guy is making sense. I definitely can't go out with a lady that expects only me to always do the spending everytime.

Afterall, u ladies say what what a man can do, you people can do better. So why the noise? According to vinna's post, she's referring to african culture which only favours you ladies. Banderas also listed african cultures which doesn't favour you ladies and you're making noise.

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yo Banderas!! i'm gooood!! prettyH thxs gurl!!

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PrettyH, I agree with you. Men no longer treat women like that because the traditions are changing. So why are women claiming that men should provide for them because it is african tradition? That seems like double-speak to me.

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Don't think your point holds water in our generation.

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Ok. Vinna, in african culture, when a woman serves me my food, she had better kneel down. In african culture, if a woman is rude to me, I have a right as a MAN to flog her publicly, even when she has children. That is african culture. However, you probably don't want me to do that. The way I see it, many african women want to be lazy and enjoy the good parts of african culture that benefits them, while doing away with the parts that are painful. I say this, choose one, be african, or be european.

Meet me halfway!!!

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I don't know about wat entails in other cultures, but i know as an african, a MAN is supposed to fend for his woman and all known religion share same view. Its the man who woos and he that must bear the expense of wooing. When you become an item, it wld now be up to both of u how ur relationship runs, but i personally think a man shld not go out with a woman and expect her to pay cos that wld be the height of irresponsibility,but if she does, fine.

And secondly, as much as we might like the western culture, taking it in all its totality and dropping all ours wld be detrimental to our uniqueness as AFRICANS.

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