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My Girl Friend Told Me She Was A Virgin For 5 Years But Now Says She's Unsure?

I have a girl friend for five years and when we met, she told me she was a virgin. Her mother equally told me the same story that her two female children were not waywards and I believed and I told her that so I am and never known any girl up till now. We moved together for 3yrs b4 I left Naija and I kept her as I met her. Before I left Naija more than two years ago, we went privately (only the two of us) to the registry to register the wedding.

Today, she was asking me whether I want to marry her because she told me she was a virgin but I have never thought of that question because all the ladies that have have been my friends have always been virgins. The last was the one we did MSc together in UI in 2003. I have never asked any of them and neither did I tell them that I have not known any woman. The way I used to discover used to be when I attempt to act as if I wanted to make love with them and they would tell me they have never done it b4 and I tell them mine story as well.

Now this my fiancee (already registered as wife) is now telling me that she is not sure because when she was in secondary school at 17yr old, his boy friend attempted to finger her but she shouted when she felt the pain and when the guy wanted to insert her screw, she prevented him by shouting. Now she said she is feeling she is still a virgin because she did not see any blood during the incident and did not know how far the guy's finger penetrated. She came to visit me in UK and wanted us to have sex but I told her we are yet to get the Godly and moral licence from God thru church wedding which we both aim to do soon.

Can a lady be a virgin and not sure

Ladies and gentlemen of Naira land, what do you think of her and how do you think I shud react?

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18 answers

some men are confused with the word VIRGIN

a virgin is a woman who has never has se.x with many man --- simple as that

whether she bleeds or not still she was still a virgin and whether she was manipulated or not she is still a virgin no C.OCK has never entered her pum pum

the bleeding means its dry se.x i.e she aint relaxed it her first time so she is tense from all the stories she hears like it hurts etc

so guys who we worry about bleeding or being a virgin i.e never slept with anyone

the poster YOU GIVE SUPPORT TO YOUR WOMEN SHE WAS ALMOST RA.PED and yourself you busy worrying about being a virgin

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Hi all,

I ran across this thread/forum while googling something and I have to say, now I know the value of sex education.

I'm pretty sure that the creator of this topic received an answer a while ago but as I skimmed over the responses, I didn't see one correct answer (or I missed it), and so i had to create an account to reply.

SHE IS/WAS MOST DEFINITELY A VIRGIN.

One is definitely a virgin until penetration of SEXUAL ORGANS are involved.

manipulation is not loss of virginity! That would mean females who self-service aren't virgins anymore which makes absolutely no sense. I'm sure one such as the creator of this thread have masturbated before, does that mean that person isn't a virgin anymore? Preposterous.

To my horror I've seen a response here that says that the woman was lying about her experience because she didn't want to be found out as loose when the creator did eventually have sex with her. REALLY? I couldn't believe what I was reading. Fact is, even if the woman isn't/wasn't a virgin, doing the deed once, twice, or even three times doesn't define her as "loose." This type of male chauvinistic response is disgusting.

So to sum it all up, manipulation doesn't mean the loss of virginity; marriage is based on love (as others here have stated) - not on sexual experience.

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she is funny - has she had sex and is now tryin to redefine her statement or find an experience to protect herself for when u penetrate and find out that she is 'loose'

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i know i shouldnt laugh but ur story is very funny. chicks are soooo interesting. well ummmmmmmmmmmmm yeah im not sure what she is either. she technically might still be a virgin clinically, but spiritually she isnt.

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@Poster - Unfortunately, there is not a lot u can do, as u are already married. It is impossible to know what her motives her for telling you this story at this stage, but we can safely err on the side of caution, and say it is extremely "fishy" to say the least.

I always say, when in doubt, take the worst option - This means that you have to accept the possibility of infidelity.

Definitely do not engage in sex with her at this stage - she may be trying to tie a pregnancy to you,or evn the so called "lost" virfinity.

Be extra cautious, and vigilant like you've never been been before. Check and double check things you have never checked before. Remember - It takes a monkey to catch a monkey. If she is doing, or has done anything, there will always be signs. You do not need to see "hard" evidence to prove something has happened, all you need are the "signs".

Also, you may never be able to prove infidelity, but you can at least show her that u are not silly, and will not be taken for a ride.

Best of luck.

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Ooooooh, now that I've read the story I understand.

If I was in her position I would say that I was a virgin, because there are so many different technicalities. She has never had intercourse so under some definitions she is one, however, the finger may have broken her hymen (if it hadn't already been broken), after all not every woman bleeds.

It gets harder and harder to tell if a woman is a virgin, but to be honest, there was never really a definite technique, I feel sorry for all the women who were virgins but because they did not 'produce' the blood were cast out as whores and liars.

Back to the original topic, yeah it's possible to be a virgin and be unsure, sometimes people consider you one if you've never had intercourse, whilst others insist on the hymen being in tact.

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@Debosky

I agree with you 100%. You just represented my exact opinions and doubts about the girl. I often ask why girls are like this anyway.

@Poster

It might not be what you want to hear but I sense your girlfriend is on to some games right there. How could she have been comfortable enough to go into a legal binding with you but not down with telling you her ordeal at 17 until now? Why did she wait so long?

Why the sudden urge for sex? Where is that coming from? I think she's trying to plant something on you. I do understand you love her but she's either lying to you or trying to test your faith in her --- more so to find out if you are into her because of her virginity status but I highly doubt that because she's trying to have sex with you. It's true that some girls don't know what it is like when they are virgin or not, but come on, what's with the hidden secret? In my opinion, it's one of the fundamental things she should have told you as long as she was able to tell you she's a virgin-- that was the next thing she should have said(Just as a woman would tell a man she has a kid)

You should be able to apply some intelligence in this regards and work your way through this mess or if you can't handle the pressure have her see a gynecologist and the rest is easy but in what light will she see you if actually the doctor certifies her a virgin? What do you intend to do if she isn't certified a virgin? Let me add that "manipulation" can't and will never break a virginity. My point is you'd find out why she's lying and not dwell on the sanctimonious wish that she's a virgin

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The problem of this story is that the guy trusts this girl too much and after leaving her for 2 years,

and you believed her story without check for yourself? Boys with no sexual experience shittttttttt

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I don't really see why it makes a difference. If you're both otherwise content with your relationship then I don't really see what has changed since it's not like you would have been having sex with her either way for religious reasons. You should be happy she's trusted you enough to tell you.

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9ja boy don HAMMER her u no know.all wat she told u were lies cos i dont see any reason why neva said such at the begining of the affairs.

bro, everything is left for you to decide oooo

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i was reading the thread and becoming worried that poster's mind would be poisned until i saw your response. God bless you there is still hope if a man can reason like this.

Poster read this man post again and let your mind be at rest

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if what she said is true.

in some society, as far as a guy penetrate a girl either Penni's or finger. she is no longer virgin.

either she bleed on not she's not a Virgin. some guy can shag a girl without her bleeding.

as far as u didn't inserts a full penetration like 3inch deep that cannot get to the hymen

the hymen is 2-3 inch deep in a Virgina. finger or half penetration can not get there.

so to my own view she is not a virgin

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Better stop her from telling u lies at this early stage of your marriage, before it goes too far and too deep.

See my siggy \/ \/ \/

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That's very correct!!!

Bro, the pain she felt was because she had never experienced such b4. Speaking from experience, virgins feel and react to pain with the slightest touch (i mean down there).

Can a lady be a virgin and not sure??[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

due to inexperience, it's possible. Right from childhood, some parents instill it in their daughters dat once a man touches u, u become pregnant, used and dumped. Such kids grow up with such beliefs.

Wat i will advise u to do is this; keep ur faith alive, both of u hav come a long way, dont allow doubt and disbelief to destroy wat u hav and DONT try to do it until u r legally married (since that's wat u both want). Tell her u love her irrespective of wat has happened.

best of luck

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Virgin or no virgin the bottom line is LOVE .

It is just bcus u have not done it b4 as clamed, but be open to each other.

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Virgin or no virgin the bottom line is LOVE .

It is just bcus u have not done it b4 as clamed, but be open to each other.

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Why bother urself if she's a virgin or not wen u both luv each other.

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If truly u luv her my man 4get virgin or no virgin,some girls are like that ok.She might be true of what she is telling u.

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