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Over 30 Women, Who's To Blame?

Our Nigerian society looks at women over 30 and are not yet married as getting expired. Although it's a wrong notion about expiry dates and most women in that age range has been fighting that stereotype supposedly from men but do we really need to blame men for that stereotype?

If our mothers, grandmothers and aunts are the ones that always tell our brothers who wants to marry an over 30 woman to look elsewhere for something younger and more 'fruitful', why blame the men for that stereotype?. Most of us women here will even do the same to our siblings who come home with women in that age range but you can hardly hear that our fathers,grandfathers,uncles etc discouraged their sons,nephews and grandsons from marrying a woman of their choice.

After reading the premise to this argument, do you still believe that men should be blamed for stereotyping women over 30 or should we cormfortably blame the stereotype on us and leave men the hell alone?

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53 answers

You men are pathetic,

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all the bad gals i knw when we were in school are happily married with a kid or two.many of the good gals are still waiting on the lord.

I am seriously usually amused when i see pips saying things like she messed up her self thats why she is still single this is so not true.

women really should never lower their standards just cos they want to be married you will only be shooting yourself. so if you still single and above 30 the gates of heaven isnt going to get locked against you just chill out and i think learn to play the game better.

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And who says u can't marry after 30?. Nigerian Men are more matured now than before.

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Word!!!

I would love to meet girls like this and show them pepper. Use and dump!

No pity, no regrets!

If I met a woman like this and like her, I would make her feel like gold.

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Everyone should be blamed!!!

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most times am too lazy to type,from now on blame nobody, take responsibility for your mistakes,it will make u a better person,pray to God to give u wisdom, good men are always there.

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i believe women should marry when they find the right man,sincere love  and money should not be  the key factor,money will come if they both have faith,constructive and works hard.

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I think both men and women are to blame in this over 30 issue.

On the one hand,some women who find themselves single when approaching or over 30 are the architect of their predicament.

I beleive at one point in their "youth",they must have come across at LEAST one man who is good and has serious intentions with regards to a relationship,but due to an overestimation of themselves,coupled with an exagerrated arrogance and the false belief that there are much better men are around the corner,they ridicule the very men that they should at least give an opportunity to prove themselves.

When i started my PhD almost 2 yrs ago,i approached a lady who seemed nice for a relationship,but she rejected my advances with an insult, her friends later told me she said she cant hang out with " small boys" (Imagine an undergraduate calling a Phd student in his late twenties a small boy).

She met a white man,and decided he would make a better partner and i moved on.

Now that i'm approaching my final year,and she has become nice and waving to me on the street,etc,but i'm no longer interested in her.

By the way i dont see the white man around her anymore.

The point is that most nigerian women feel they are too much for young men with potential and are trying to lay foundations for their lives, and most men will not want to marry a lady who did not stand by her in his time of struggle.

That is also the reason all these "made men" they trip over for dump them ultimately,and by the time they should be at least pregnant with their first child,they find themselves in a stalemate.

On the other hand,some ladies are simple unfortunate.They genuinely fell in love with these struggling men,and even made sacrifices for them,but at the end of the day,they were humiliated and got dumped and were severely emotionally scared and really find it difficult to pick the remaining peices and move on.

I know of some who gave everything they had for their man and at the end of the day,they were tossed off in a very ruthless manner.

That is why some women seem hesitant to struggle with men.Some men can be very very cruel.

Both sides of the arguements having delved into,i will say that since women outnumber men (at least in Nigeria),in addition to the role social and family plays in our soceity,most men are always pressured into marrying younger,fresher ladies,

I say pressured because as i said earlier,some of these ladies are actually very good,but were just unlucky,but family members of the man (esp the female members) will reject an "old" lady because they feel she has messed about in her youth even though in some cases that is far from the truth.

Infact,some of these younger ladies are even worse.

But there is always hope for everyone, the fact that a lady is over 30 doesn't mean she can not meet a great man and have a happy marraige.

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how do u do that?

i am not talking of half-baked career women. i mean ph.d upwards.

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many of them are career women.

u can only choose one. career or marriage?

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some wants to bag all the degrees b4 settling dwn and b4 u kw it,they are way too old.

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Women over 30 who still single/never been married are the one blame themselves on the ground of vivid imagination about "romantic" and "marriage".

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No one is to blame, i guess some of them are just unlucky

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na your fault na. U for marry Chief or the Eze for your village, so you fit put your feet up

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Marriage is hard work. Many do not know that. They only fantasize about the ring. Its harder work than people realize. When i said i feel a hundred years old sometimes i was trying to emphasize on how much energy it takes from one. That does not in anyway translate into a bad marriage. Dont get it twisted.

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I didn't think that. You said a few yr marriage turned you to a 100 year old mummy and I guessed that those in happy marriages shouldn't be aging fast abi. I derived it from your last statement. Anyway sha, sorry.

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LOL.

na me o

how's marriage doing you?

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looks like the tribe has gathered again

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marriage sounds interesting. so long as i'm not the one carrying the pregnancies.

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oh ok. normal stress of married life.

No big deal.

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You are probably in a bad marriage.

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To single women i say enjoy your life. nothing prepares you for the complications marriage brings. I'm telling you. Ive been married 2 years and i feel a hundred years old already.

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NubianQ, it seems u're speaking out of a recent bad relationship experience.

Give it a few more months and u'd start fretting about marrying and settling down early.

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@Poster,

To be honest with you, not all women are the cause of their problems. some relationships string u along and later the person leaves you.

sometimes things happen and people are left to start all over. when i was younger i lived in a fantasy ,  now am older and i realise that life is crazy.

if a woman is over 30 its fine, they will find their husbands or if not life continues

i can emphasize this enough, who wrote the rule book on ages to be married?am going to be thirty in 2years,  am i worried am not married? Hell no!!!

once upon a time i had a good relationship and stayed there for years, i was a good girl and where did it get me? . now i realise its not worth it,  so if i turn 30 or 50 and i am single, i am going Rock it!!!

its not about being picky, its about how things turn out.

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truth be told, there are many reasons why women in that age bracket are seen as expiring. some of those reasons are the fault of the women and some of the reasons are not. i cant blame or do anything about he reasons that are out of our control but we should talk about those that we can do something about.

too many women are busy wasting thier lives and time partying, clubbing and waiting for mr. rich and made. the funny thing is that some of the men they overlooked in the name of waiting for mr rich and perfect later became mr. rich and perfect and ended up with some other smarter girl.

my point, ladies shoud come down to earth and stop living in a greedy, fantasy world.

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And if a woman tries that they will brand her Dr mrs Cougar.

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pathetic!!

I've seen 38 and 40 year olds in America bring back 19 and 20 year old brides from home

rather than women in their generation

That is the height of wickedness.

why should a girl marry a man who will treat her like a master.

The relationship is doomed from the get go

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oh who are u to tell and adult who they should have sex with. by the way, there are married me who still solicit prostitutes. banning it won't stop then. maybe u should teach responsibility to the women that give it up easily

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@Tngtech:- Which 'regime' are you talking about? You never know, I might even look younger than.

@Easybaby:- I grab o. I am very well paid. I am also well positioned in the company I work for. Many be you will get to know more when/if we chat online. My yahoo id is hixxx1.

@Busta:- Many thanks for your kind response.

@All:- Am still single and searching o. Abeg make una help me o.

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dat means you can kill ashawo girls. You nor want make them chop.

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What if we ban prostitution in Nigeria(although it's already illegal) and enforce it with a ten year improsonment for defaulters? Will that push men to marry more or become gay?

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career women are fine, the only one that have problems that the egotistical ones that want to be worshipped for their degrees.

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how does it affect the career women?

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Especially the career women

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i agree with no.1 but i disagree with number 2. withholding sex would just make men runaway and push them towards to prostitutes. since when did marriage become a lifetime yoke. definitely not in this millennium. your idea would only lead to bitter marriages and lots of trophy wives. women want sex just as men so withholding it is silly

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both the marriage and mistress regime has passed.

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There's the marriage regime and the mistress regime, one has passed the other is available, why complain?

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well it could start from their sweet 16th period, thereby destroying their God given body before they get to the age of marriage.

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sorry, don't know anyone in Nigeria to hook u up with.

but good luck all the same.

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Nothing is unbelievable , basically two reasons exist why most Nigerian women over 30 are unmarried and I take them from a poster who listed four reasons here:

1) Being Too Picky - Nigerian women set the rules of the game and Nigerian men only play to their tune. They first start off in their youth with being too picky and wanting the best. They want the most handsome, richest bloke on the corner with lots of attention to spare. Unfortunately they forget to factor in math, there are more women in Nigeria than there are men, the translation being that not every woman will end up getting married. Apart from the fact that guys are lesser than women, there are also very few rich and handsome guys. So these rich and handsome guys also want the best for themselves so they gather a string of concubines , playing them around and eventually marry the best of the lot.

So what happens is that the remainder of these picky women who don't get married then, keep being picky waiting for the next Dangote or Femi Otedola to knock on their doors, unfortunately for them, some of them are not as hot as they imagine themselves to be and a couple more have the overt tendency to be really saucy in addition to their picky issues because they believe themselves to be on top of their game and God's own definition of beauty. The end result is that most toasters overlook them and go for less picky ones and when it dawns upon these women that darkness is upon them, they become desperate and end up marrying way beneath their class or not getting married at all.

2) Being Too Ugly - What more can I say? Ugliness defines itself. Why board molue when free air conditioned buses are on the road?

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1. The perpetual financial crisis bedevilling the menfolk especially with a mindset of needin to "arrive" b4 embarkin on the marital trip.

2. free sex everywhere . If they can get it free and without much hassles, why invite a lifetime "yoke" in the name of marriage? I believe if there were no available sexual outlet for the men, and marriage was a necessary prerequisite for gettin it on, there'd be a lot more marriages than we can handle. . . . . . meaning far less over-30 singles.

just ma thots.

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1 am over thirty, single and seriously searching. Busta, Easybaby and all please link me up with any suitable single babe in Nigeria. For serious relationship/marriage. Thanks

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