«Home

Please Where Do I Go From Here In This Present Situation? God forgive me.

Please people help me and don't criticise me. I just had a terrible and horrible misunderstanding with my love, the person I truly love because though he has failed me horribly, everything was good. We were meant to see each other, three times, he failed because he was so busy, and he didn't really apologise for that. 4th time, he set the day and time and still failed to show up so I was annoyed.

I went up to his place, unfortunately he wasn't home and that was what got me mad. I started texting him all sorts of curses. There's nothing I didn't say to him. Over 100, even telling him how he would be impotent, die and so many horrible words. When I say horrible, i mean horrible. I even threw it to his face about the fraud his friends were telling me about  him, telling I'll call the cops and he'll rot in jail and so many harsh words, which is unlike me. I'm even ashamed to write all of them. I even brought up the past where he hurt me. I called him cheap, just because he wasn't around?? This is actually the first time, such is happening.

Please people what do I do or where do I go from here now? I know I should apologise but how?? I cannot even text I'm sorry because I went too far. What options can I try or did he really deserve it?

Do you all think that I could go to his place tomorrow to apologise or wait weeks, days to apologise to him?? God forgive me for my words.

Avatar
Newbie
79 answers

you made a big mistake using those harsh words on him. Men hate disrespect.

I also observe that you both have different love languages that you are yet to recognise.

I should guess you enjoy Quality Time and that is not really part of your man's love languages.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i like when a lady acknowledges she is wrong, and i guess all guys do too. so just apoloogise, i bet your bf will understand and forgive, just tell him you didnt mean those words, which is the truth, you were only frustrated you didnt see him, and i cant blame you, after he has missed 3 previous meetings.

i can assure you he knows you didnt mean those words, its possible they made him laugh, cos thats what i will do, words like that makes me laugh and it only shows that u love him so much, u cldnt hold yourself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well i'm sorry i've not been following ur thread but I dare say it seems you love this guy more than he loves you! I know the love might not be balanced always especially with men but if he's not even making attempts I think u should just let him be where his heart wants to be!

Lift ur head high, apologise and move on wit ur life, I want to believe you're not ugly sometime soon someone will come around to make your life sweet! considering the alegations u made about him being involved in some poo in his office says wat type of husband u're getting for urself!

Brace up girl, this too shall pass!

0
Avatar
Newbie

well all i could say in this case is that just try and make it up to him by appologising in so many ways and 4get about the relationship cos of the past xperience i had with my uncle,

his gf who had a baby girl for him rain curse on him that he will not make it in life that they will deport him again if he travelled just cos he dint give her money for food, and now my uncle has the house of his own both here in Nigeria and UK, but the lady is still there looking for a way to make it in life,

So kindly find away to settle and that he shouldnt be crossed at u .

0
Avatar
Newbie

I wish I could take back my words but I can't. It's not just the appointments that triggered such words, I guess what he had also done to me before and this "busy" statement, this was just the same thing.

0
Avatar
Newbie

GOOD .

THEN YOU NEED TO START WORKING ON YOURSELF IF YOU DONT WANT SUCH TO REPEAT ITSELF EVEN IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I admit i went too far but as for you needing your space, I meant if u read some other posts I had opened before not just this one, where he had cheated before and some other things he had done to me. I still forgave him. If you were him that did all these to your girl an she still took you back, what gravity of words wouldn't want to make you forgive too?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hey Diva if u read my post well u'll see I neva blamed you! just told you my mind and how i would react being in the guys shoes honestly i've not gone thru all ur posts just read ur opening post but i still think u reacted too much! that was my point. I dont blame you!

I know some of us guys could be funny but one thing i know is we always have our reasons and a heart to heart talk could get it out!

If in his shoes I dont think u begging over an over would heal me! I would just need my space,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Despite you taking it so far, I personally don't like un-kept promises. It's either he does what he says or keeps his bloody mouth shut! Both of you already have mishaps in your relationship. It's only natural to lose your cool. How many times do you want us to tell you this guy's not serious? If this is what a relationship is like with him, I cringe to think on how marriage would look like with him.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Stand by your man. Good men are hard to find these days.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Treetop

Pls don't wish me bad luck.

@Tope 2000

No I haven't after the horrible messages. I just stopped. I haven't said anything but plan to tonight. I guess. All I want is to apologise whether or not we are in love or together. I need to apologise for my words then the heavy burden of guilty feelings would subside.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There is only little i can say . . .u have ur reasons for taking him back but have u apologised to him yet?

0
Avatar
Newbie

carry on then lass

just let us know when it doesn't work out because it will not

0
Avatar
Newbie

It is not about attachment or love. Yes I did take him back but it had nothing to do with this incident. I guess I let thepast and some things I was holding get the best of me.

@ Treetop

Please this is not stupidity. No body would really understand but the two people involved. I know he did me wrong but somehow, we worked things out and I have been happy until recent. I guess if he never did those things that happened in the past, maybe i would have tolerated a little easier.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hahahahahaaha . . . . sometimes we do take poo from the pesin we love but when the person continuously making me feel like poo . . . then HIT THE ROAD JACK.

Guess she is soo attached to the dude

@poster

Why DID rain down so much curses all because he failed 4 appointments??

0
Avatar
Newbie

no stupidity is blind

0
Avatar
Newbie

women never cease to amaze me

so you mean after all the advice you got from every one of us

you still went back to your ex?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thank you so much @ dean2725, Ugo_2u, Posakosa and all of you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There is a road that seem right but the end leads to destruction!!! -  I hope this does not become the nadir of your existence and the beggining of your end.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Please diva, stop crucifying yourself, stop being depressed. There is nothing this depression will give you other than ulcers. Watch comedies and clear your head so u can think straight. pls call me so i can talk u out of depression 07061138587.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i suggest you keep sending him text and calling too even though he wont pick up, just keep on doing that as that will soften his heart and not harden it. cos if you decides to see him in person before you apologise that can be misinterpreted to mean many things like you dont even care and feel sorry of what you ve done since he won't know how bad and guilty you feel for your ill-utterances.

       although seeing your messages, missed call/voicemail will make him feel important and he will definitely enjoy ignoring your calls and all that. it's all good every men will do the same. we men enjoy those things especially in a situation like this where lady is the culprit (yes he might be wrong in the first place but you blew it all) but believe me it will greatly help even when you ve reconciled. waiting for when you see him and not sending any msg will not help the matter. just keep the messages/missed calls flowing.

       the fact that he called you after sending him those abuses that what has he done to deserve this coupled with the fact that he had also wronged you in the past, i am confident he will surely forgive you.

     

    be strong and dont let that affect your studies. ok?

good luck.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Like I said before, I'm so down to take any insult personal now. Just pray you don't experience such!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thanks, I hope and pray so. I wish going that extra mile was easy.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thanks a lot, I like the advices I've been getting from you. and I got your email too. God help me. I think I'll give him the whole of today, then text him before I plan on seeing him or involving another person to intercede for me.

0
Avatar
Newbie

This girl don come again with her fatal attraction. Na so so "should i beg him" "should i strip for"  him etc etc. Abeg na only you dey date for NL?? Carry your wahala go jo. No be you go stalk one girl for facebook b4?? You need to think b4 you act or bear the consequences.

0
Avatar
Newbie

well it's easy for you to say cos you don't also know what I've been through or what he has put mke through too. Maybe you can also read some of my posts and at the same time, I'm not justifying my words.

0
Avatar
Newbie

from wat i see here girl! if i was the guy i'd just take a long break from you for one big reason

I can only imagine wat i'd be coming home to meet as ur husband if i were to decide to marry you! its a sign u cant try to cool off before exploding which is a sad fact to discover!

I'd apologise to you take you out for the dinner and fulfil all my promises and then let you go!

Cos U NEEED TO GO!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Diva,

You just need to go the extra mile and show him something different.

Everything will be just fine.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thank you. You are right and that's where it's killing me, no matter what he has done for me I know I had no right to say so and i guess so, don't wanna give details here online but pple n so on. I have been there for him, until yesterday in 3 yrs, i exploded this way but with words. Of cause I'm not going to call police or such, just my words. Im so down.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Please don't criticise me, neither am I justifying my actions. I said he'll be impotent not that he is but it was said out of anger and no I don't have anger issues, he changed me this way. I guess I have been way too patient and it exploded. He has done a lot of things to me but i just overlook it until yesterday.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Diva, You need to forgive yourself first. You can't keep on hurting yourself saying you did wrong all the time.yes you did wrong,that's water under the bridge,learn from it and move on.apologize like i told you to and worry no more about it. Did you get the comedies i asked you? Take care

0
Avatar
Newbie

Diva,

Were the things you said about him true? Is he a fraud ? It's going to be a lot harder if those things are true and he finds that you can not keep his secrets.

We want to trust that our women will protect us and keep our secrets even if we are armed robbers.

We want to be sure that our partners are friends who will never betray us.

Having said all of the above,you need to give him say three days to cool off.

You need to find someone he respects very much to go apologizing to him.

Don't send anymore text messages as it does not betray how truly sorry you are.

Go with an apology card or something and convey how deeply sorry you are and Hopefully you are on your way back together.

It can't get worse,It can only get better.

Goodluck.

0
Avatar
Newbie

gurl you got some anger issues.no offence but you kinda deserve it. how could you call a guy impotent and expect to get way with it? it's gonna take alot of work to get that guy back. goodluck

0
Avatar
Newbie

this posa babe isn here again!haba bone this bassey guy and move on naa.this swear too much for wetin

0
Avatar
Newbie

I know i said my heart but the curses weren't in my mind. How can I wish some1 i love, sadness and pains would follow him, he would reap his evil deeds, impotent, dead, rot in jail and much more, those aren't things I'll carry in my min. I said them out of anger.

@Negro

the inputs are helping but it hasn't solved the main issue cos I havent apologised yet or anything as such. I know I should apologise but man! im so, speechless, showing up at his place might not turn out good or might, i might not get him, txtx, who knows what? I'm jus being pessimistic about the situation.

It happened yesterday, so do I start texting him today? apologies?

@Passie, yeah, that's what i'll do.

0
Avatar
Newbie

and yep I realy support the so many txts idea. dont go and see him immediately, he may not have resolved it in his mind yet. Start with texts for like 4days, then give him obvious missed calls for a day and finally make an apology call to know how he now feels about it all. from there u know wat next to do. U really have to plot a make up.

0
Avatar
Newbie

well, continue to apologize if u love him. if he doesnt forgive or accept u, accept d situation coz dats d price of ur actions.

0
Avatar
Newbie

LMAO!!!

You have heard many inputs on what to do.  If that doesn't help, then I think it's time we hear from you.

What do you think you should do?  If this was a friend's situation what advice would you have for her?

0
Avatar
Newbie

All u can do now, is Apologise, but I will tell you how to avoid such next time.

Its always better to air your frustration immediately you hurt. If u had told him the first time, u didnt like him standing u up and really showed it to him, u wouldnt have burst the way u did. Also ur post shows u hid alot of information u had of him from him. If u always confronted him immdiately you heard rumours bout him, u wouldnt have built a perception/opinion about him in your heart. He would have already heard it before and it dies there, but now u had alot bottled in your heart about him and it just required a little prick and it would burst out loud. To me u just said ur heart, u poured out exactly ur impression about him, for me I always enjoy that part with my girl, because its an opportuniy for me to hear the truth. all I advice is that u say this truth oin bits and very often, instead of piling it. If ur guy thinks like me, he will accept u back, at least now he knows how u see him and what to work on about himself, and the general status of the relationship.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I am so down, ! can't concentrate on my work and books. I'm so far away.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I know he might have been busy but I don't understand how busy, u failed 4times though he apologised and also, in the past, bad memories where he hurt me so much with this his attitude, i guess was what pushed me too far.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@luminoux

Thanks, I actually wanted to show up at his place today but I wasn't sure it was the best now. I'm not the patient type in that when i hur someone, i don't think of cooling off or anything, when I'm worried, I like to solve it immediately.

How long do u think i should leave him to cool off? and do you think the text msgs would make things easier for now?

0
Avatar
Newbie

hey miss Diva, not talking too much thank goodness u kno what u did was not gud. Your best bet now is too let ur boyfriend cool out. If he is not the angry type u could text him a lot of sorries and apologies more dan the blast you gave him. I could see dat u might be quite tempramental, 'cos u actually know of his busy schedule, but u still went dat far, try not to call him for now becos, what he might say to u might not be palatable and it might make u snap again and u dont really need dat for now. so avoid talking to him now just text him apologies and sweet words so dat he would dry out and also never promise to hurt him like dat again.u also need to show some undastanding dats some of the things required in dating. do dat and watch what he would do.

wish u a very gud luck.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thanks you all for your help and advice though I'm still feeling down, I feel better than when I just kept it to myself. I think also going with someone would help or just me. I'm just thinking of when and how I would see him in person 'cos even my words are hurting me not to talk of him i said it to.

0
Avatar
Newbie

okay then good luck with ur reconcilation

0
Avatar
Newbie

yea it will be better you plead with him in person.

good luck

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.