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Pls Everyone Am I Anti-social Or What?

I have a lot of friends but not everytime i like going out. I prefer staying indoors and on my own most of the time. I could watch tv a whole day and I don't feel lonely or bored. I just prefer that. My family especially my mother always makes me uncomfortable being myself like i have 2 brothers and i am the only girl. My brothers are very outgoing in that they like spending time outside a whole lot. My mum would compare me to them and that puts me down. I am no angel, I do all hings but at the same time i still prefer being indoors even by myself, on my own.

The other time, there was an event mentioned and my elder brother was saying something about his high school friends that I don't keep in touch with mine. I do but not all of them just very few i like. It's like they don't know me well or something.

I have friends, places, events but i also like spending time with myself a lot, just my personal choice, so am i anti-social, shy or what?

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41 answers

There is nothing wrong with U!!

You are just an introvert!! I am like that sometimes. You are probably a cancer!!

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that's it. i feel hurt because this is just me and i dont want to feel left out or different from the rest.

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Don't be too hard on yourself. You did not choose to be that way, you didnt make urself into what u are did you?

By the way, I think the fact that your mom hassles you because of this is sad, but she is probably just trying to turn you to a better person, hence her constantly pressuring you to change with the way she treats you. Does not necessarily mean she wants to make things difficult for you.

Overall, living life this way can be hard. Outgoing people tend to think they are way better than introverts and sometimes let them know what they think, hurting them in the process. But then again, there is the thing about everybody being different that they should take into consideration.

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you just hit the exact nail on d head. this is exactly how i feel

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Sorry to bring up this fading thread, I just wanted to correct the wrong use of the word 'antisocial'.

The personality she described herself as having is not an antisocial one. Antisocial people have much worse characters. Antisocial can be used to describe psychopaths or sociopaths, people with antisocial personality tend to display a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of other people's rights. This behaviour, or antisocial behaviour is linked to adult criminal behaviour such as deliberate destruction of property, fire setting and frequent lying and stealing and other behaviours that trivialize the importance of the needs of other people in the society, and don't really have introvertedness as a central feature.

The type of person she described herself as is more of an 'avoidant type'. Features of people with an avoidant personality are: having relationship problems, being suspicious of others, sensitive, aloof/isolated, self-absorbed, self-critical, overly emotional/hypersensitive to rejection, anxious/tense,. Tendency to have few or no close friends, frequently feeling depressed. As a substitute, many take refuge in an inner world of fantasy and imagination.

Phew!

People confuse avoidant for antisocial a lot.

But don't snob them, those of you who are not similar to them. Relate with them the way you relate with others. And don't be giving conditions for being normal please! (70% out, 30% in). We don't all have one preference and our lives' experiences and histories are different. Finally because all this the prejudice and unrealistic standards set as a yardstick for normalcy don't need to be increased.

One luv.

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i've seen some good talk by obnoxious, stillwater etc, i kinda see myself in u and frm experience, i wld say

dont let anyone push to u to wat u dont wanna do, i dont see u as anti social because anti social people go out of their way to avoid human contact, friendship etc. being on ur own teaches discipline and build principles, tho u must learn 2 balance it,

its enuf to have a few friends u can rely on, go out with wen u want to (and having dependable friends takes time and effort),

the best life is not the socially busy one, believe me, some parents wld give anything to have a child that stays home,

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its a free world, you can do whatever you want. Im the exact same way, i tend to stay in cos i have stuff to do in my own house to keep myself occupied. Plus you never know if these so called friends are truly your friends or not. Just enjoy urself and do you. Tell everybody else to f&%k off. Thats what I do!

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@ebila, i have boyfriend(s), admirers and everything, that isnt the reason why i love being indoors.

Thank you all for your opinions and advice, I'll keep being me as long as nothing is done in excess.

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@Nikki,

Do u have a boyfriend?

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do u have a bf friend.

there is realy advantage and diadvatage of indoor staying.

u need to be ourside 70. indoor 30

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@Nikky23

You are not alone on this, u have a friend in me

Though sometimes i wish i can change who i am, i spend 70% of my weekend at home, i enjoy my sleep, read my G-mag and sometimes novel, wtach film if i have one to.

But mine is more out of laziness, movement in lagos is not encouraging,  more stressful than it's fun

So doesn't make us anti social, only that we are more of  an iintrovert

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u appear ok, its your way of life. A healthy balance of both worlds is just fine.

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Thanks hun and you all.

i know that truthfully i spend time alone so so much than im out with people but like i said it is personal choice and yes maybe there is a hidden reason, hurt or something, but i believe one life to live, do what makes you "you" and happy, my mum and brothers should stop making me feel uncomfortable or worse when they dont even kno my reasons.

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I feel very comfortable with it, because it's not condition, just my personal choice. Yes i have been betrayed by friends, boyfriend and all, most times, there's peace just being by yourself but i know sometimes, there is no just reason when there is an event and i dont go but still i end up not going, i may feel guilty i mossed the event but that is about it. maybe there is a reason, maybe i am hurt or something but for now most times, i like my me time a lot. Who says it is compulsory pr necessary to always be out up and going with friends. I have a whole lot of them but most times i find myself not answering their calls all the time or looking for excuses so i dont hang out or something. just stay , watch tv, then when i feel so bored, i could go out. my brothers r complete extrovert is that y i should be compared to them?

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Am a grade A antisocialist sorry to say you are if this fits u.

1.You have friends but don't hang out with them cuz either they don't bother themselves much about you or just becuz you just want to relax alone.

2.You're a deep thinker infact after a dilemma is solved you think of the next or not just problems even forthcoming events.

3.You find it easy to give reasons not to attend events and hard to find reasons to attend.

4.Out of majority of your friends you don't know thier birthdays or even surnames.

5.Also all humans get depressed but we antisocialist get too depressed due to the complex environment we situate in.Are you open in crowds like e.g church but left to me there are levels of being antiSOCIAL and you are on a path to one, lastly do you find it easy not to trust pple or paranoid when pple borrow your things.

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ur last 2 post b4 my post shows u r confused

@op, there's nuffin wong wit u, fink we share d same tin, like being alone too most times

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you are not anti social but social anti huh? just know it that devil tempts people naturally but an idle person tempts the devil. consider what u do most in those ur private time. u call them privacy

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@ poster,

Having read your post, there is nothing wrong with your being anti social or an introvert. That is just a way of life for you. Unless otherwise, you do not feel comfortable with it?

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tytylola why? hope you are not stalking

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C2H5OH, r u sure u r ok, seems u r confused

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Yea there's nothing wrong with her. I enjoy staying in too.

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yea u real anti social

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@Topic

Are you worried?

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Thank you. they make it seem like i am just i dont even know what to say. when i have things to do, i do,school is not in session now, so what else? aside work, friends and all,just be indoors and watch tv,

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what is wrong with that?

i don't see anything wrong with that lifestyle at all

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But what if that is what I prefer and sometimes we need time to ourselves, isn' t it? I love going out but at times or most times, i need my me time. I might be having problems that i need to get over with and be by myself, instead of showing concern, it's like even making me feel worse. I don't think i am anti-social but i like being mostly indoors by myself without getting bored or lonely.

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I understand where ur mam is comin from. It's not basically about u going out, but about u not bein socially slow.

Don't think it's o.k bein indoors 24/7. think of places and good friends of urs dat u find fun going out wit, and Go Get It!

Gal, u need a new lesson. Don't be a jerk!

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you are just an introvert person that's all.

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Yes i go out when i want to but much less than i'm indoors. my parents especially my mother makes it seem like something else making me uncomfortable around her.

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There's nothing wrong with you girl. It's not as if you dont go out at all.

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i don't think you are anti social you are an introvert person just like your brothers are extrovert. and there is nothing wrong with being an introvert person. everyone is different, so are you.

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I'm not depressed. I get sad or so once in a while but not the reason for staying indoors, maybe i am not just that person that goes out toomuch, my friends disturb me all the time but sometimes i have to tell them i dont feel like just becasue i feel like staying indoors but sometimes, i am the one to force them out.

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keep doing what u like doing jare sis.  no be by force to become a social nut.

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maybe more like 40/60. yes that is what i mean but it's like my family do not see it that way like i am doing somehing wrong. It's just my own choice and i'm not bored or lonely. when i want to go out, i do but most of the time, it's indoors by myself,maybe just watching tv.

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Go out with our friends. If your friends were really your friends, they'd force you to go with them.

Dude, anti-social can be a symptom of depression, think on that

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@Nicky, dont mind anybody, do what u like jor. Same ni.

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so what is the ratio of time you spend socializing vs being by yourself?

ex 30/70, 70/30, 50/50 etc.

I personally can be anti-social at times and be social at other times. is that what u mean?

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But i socialise a lot. I just spend most of my time indoors because that is what i prefer.

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you are anti-social not shy

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It can be a nigerian thing as well. esp if your parents are the party owambe type.

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