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She Wouldn't Leave Me Alone: Why Me?!

Unlike the topic suggests, i'm not exactly a fan of DBanj.

I met this gurl in church sometime ago while i was still in a serious relationship and we became friends, of course, i told her once i realised she was constantly calling and visiting that i had a fiance. She took offence at that and wondered why i would mistake her good gestures at friendship for anything more. I apologised, and moved on.

Now, my fiance's broken-up with me (cos of a guy she met during service by the way) and this other gurl has been relentlessly on my case. the calls and visits intensified, the most annoying part is she got the phone numbas of my friends and my mom and calls dem "just to say wassup".

I've tried every language i know to tell her to fly but no way. I don't like being rude but i'v resorted to that for two months now, yet no change. The unfortunate part is, no matter how hard i try to 'like' her, its just not possible. I'm nt a player and i wldn't wanna add hurting smne to my CV. Abeg wetin i go do o!!!!

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18 answers

hmmmmm. a big one. one thing u guys av failed to recognise is that this girl likes gbengis. and when a girl falls hard 4 a guy, its difficult to do away wid d feeling. they get stuck easily. d problem here now is that gbengis doesnt feel d same way as her, though it seems to me he had led her on for a while for her to start taking stance as his girlfrnd.

gbengis, y don't u just call her and sit her down, then explain in a gentleman's way how u feel.llet her knw your feelings towards her are very platonic and free of attachment. she might get emotional and all but she will realise u got no feelings for her.it migth hurt her but then, if she's like all girls that hurt will put her off and she will start backing off. try telling her she cud be your frnd and then u introduce to your boyfrnds so she gets another pick.

don't be aggressive towards her plz because this might lead to grugdes. pick her calls, and don't ignore her.be her frnd and share stuff wid her.say hi to her wenever u see her but ont let it get too intimate. make sure u are around people wen u are 2gether. who knws, u might start growing some affection for her.

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things happen oh, some people take advantage of a good heart, just be careful

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@Adetut21

u are right.

@WaleADE

nice advices, keep it up.

@Poster

Pls send her off b4 she starts to embarass u the more. Make it clear to her abeg. and dont feel guilty for being harsh on her

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Calm down Ghengis, youre making progress. Now call her and tell her to stop checking on you at work. Remember not to pick her calls still and make flimsy excuses whenever you run into her. One word of advise, never apologise for your actions. Just give flimsy excuses for not being available and stop feeling like youre being wicked to her. Youre only saving yourself from future stress. And am afraid you need to be a little stricter, more affirmative.

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hmmm, oga o!

The girl called me this morining to ask if she could come see me at work and i said no, but she still came to my office. Politely enough, i went down to see her at the lounge, but first thing she did was start babbling about the fact that she'd been trying to reach me without success weeklong and i've not returned ha calls, bla, bla, I was shell-shocked to say the least. Just told ha i'll be back, went back to my table and calld the receptionist to tell ha i cldn't make it back. dint like being that rude but i def had no choice.

what i dont understand is how the girl began assuming the girl-friend stance, now i'm starting to think she has some "issues". se dandan ni? egba mi o!

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hmmm, oga o!

The girl called me this morining to ask if she could come see me at work and i said no, but she still came to my office. Politely enough, i went down to see her at the lounge, but first thing she did was start babbling about the fact that she'd been trying to reach me without success weeklong and i've not returned ha calls, bla, bla, I was shell-shocked to say the least. Just told ha i'll be back, went back to my table and call the receptionist to tell ha i cldn't make it back.

what i dont understand is how the girl began assuming the girl-friend stance, now i'm starting to think she has some "issues". se dandan ni? egba mi o!

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@ghengis,

Safe couz, keep us posted on any developments.Go liberate yourself. We got ur back.

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@walelead!

thats a good one!!! feels good to be accurately psycho-analysed by smne, i try to do that a lot myself, needless to say you're spot-on.

Guess i'll def try out the steps. thanx bro!!!

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Walelead, that was a nice, comprehensive info there, imma goin to try some of it on some pesters here, lol

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@Ghengis, it takes someone who has your kind of mentality to understand your situation. you have not spoken about yourself but i have a mind picture. You are probably a nice guy (no offence), a focused achiever who has made something out of mothing. You know what you want and you go for it. You have many platonic female friends and you cherish the friendship you share with them. I can go on and on,

Your main problem is that you are a marraige -type guy, a good catch for any lady. There lies your problem, even if you get rid of this lady, there will be many more after her. (Im sorry ladies) I believe this woman wants to marry my guy for safety reasons and probably still go out to hunt for adventure and enjoy the best of wo worlds.

i think i got an answer for you.

first things first, ignore the idea of trying the lady. Once youre in, youll be stuck. Remember ur a good guy and you dont have skills and experiences of handling dirty break ups.

if u agree to date this lady, i swear you'll find yourself on the altar in a few weeks.

2. Drop the gratitude and show some attitude., youre the man. Dont pick her calls for a while and then call her yourself. be the one to raise discussion and end the call halfway cos u got something to quickly attend to. (sounds silly?, well the idea is to piss her off)

3. Date other ladies, she will probably back off if she sees you with other ladies

4. Ignore her presence intentionally, church home anywhere

5. Spend more time with the boys, that way u,ll have a reason not to pick her calls or hang out with her

6. This one is wicked and caution is advised (She may shoot you). Ask her out on a special, romantic date then stand her up i.e Dont come to the venue and dont pick ur phone.

Try these steps, contact the Lead-meistre if u need more help. Safe

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o boy u dey lucky o. sorry o but i beg how old are u? just give it a trial. it mmay work out u know. she loves u very much and bros, that is very rare these days u know?

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Ok, agreed, life is full of risks. but i really don't think u read between the lines, we've actually been friends for at least eight months though we met about a year ago, On one of my posts, i said i've tried but she just isn't what i want. So how else do i try, take her to the altar, maybe my heart go change then?

Abotu not being able to keep a woman, my broda, if u talk dat one wen the wound still fresh, i 4 find ur ear bite am off. 'nyways, u dont know the details, the girl (my ex) by the way is back begging that i take her back but thats anoda story, checkout the topic: "why does NYSC 'kill' relationships for details.

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i can see u actually need some growing up to do

please no offence it is not an insult

the girl likes u since u cant do the talking she is making u do it and ur here complaining that she is after u

well u have not tried her out yet and u are complaining

life is full of risk u have to learn to take risk in every thing

if u think ur smart enough how come the one u luv left u ? probably u dont have the skills to keep a woman

try this one out nobody is sayin u should sleep with her just be her friend first

infact i think she is a good girl for her to be able to buy ur faMIly over

stop complaining and act like a man should

the only way to go is forwaRD

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Hi bro,

My advice is for u not to go into it at all. wot if u do and it doesnt work. U've not shown interest and she wants to kill u, do u think u can break such a heart. Flee bro, Flee.

Since u dont like her as a girlfriend, noting can make u like her even in 20yrs time.

It aint worth it if u dont like it.

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taiye men!!!

Thanks but i'm almost sure this one go confuse me. Besides, i'm not the kinda guy to just try things out. I want always want my commitment to be 100%. Then isn't it scary that a gurl shd be this strong in going after a guy?

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Give her a trial, it is probably because she loved you very much. It is not necessarily that you should be a playa, just give it a trial, I mean give in for some period and you will see the magic. Mostly though, it is always good to be loved than run after those we loved very dearly. If you have not tried being loved by someone else before, give this a trial, a trial will surely convince or confuse you.

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gengist.i understand Ur plight,and am telling u i have being is such dilemma before but one thing u have to do is access her,see if she got the qualities u looking out for a lady cos if nothing happens between u both am telling u when she leaves u and stop pushing as she is doing right now it may end up being HAD I KNOWN since u are a Christan take her like a sister no attachment just let her see u as a brother too even when she keeps showing all those signs behave as if u ain't seen nothing when this continues she will be fed up and maybe by then u might have gotten a soft spot for her.

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