«Home

Should Age Be An Obstacle Between Two Lovers?

I'm a 49 year old woman and for the last year I've had a man who is 25 younger asking me

out. we met on a dating site ,or and so on. I am

attracted to him, but have put him off because of the age difference. But he is

persistant and will not give up. The thing with him is he seems more mature then the 30

or 40 somethings that ask me out. At least he knows what not to say. I guess I've been

into the "what will people say" and worrying about the negative comments. But now with

this I don't believe continue to run from this, it might just work out.

Avatar
Newbie
58 answers

No it should not, but here the age gap is too much for both of U, so both of you should not deceive yourself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

No it should not, but here the age gap is too much for both of U, so both of you should not deceive yourself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Age is never a problem, so have fun

0
Avatar
Newbie

I'm a 49 year old woman and for the last year I've had a man who is 25 younger asking me

out. we met on a dating site ,or and so on. I am

attracted to him, but have put him off because of the age difference. But he is

persistant and will not give up. The thing with him is he seems more mature then the 30

or 40 somethings that ask me out. At least he knows what not to say. I guess I've been

into the "what will people say" and worrying about the negative comments. But now with

this I don't believe continue to run from this, it might just work out

To the chick that posted the above gist,I have a harmless question, If that guy were to be ur younger brother and asking a WOMAN of your age out,what will be your sincere reaction?

0
Avatar
Newbie

No one said it is impossible but be realistic here. If it is a woman, that is different but a man?? 25 yrs older when he's 30 hmm

0
Avatar
Newbie

just givin an example y its a norm in 9ja where guys go for younger ladies, if u are 30yrs older than any1 u can get married to the person as long as but of u find love in urself

0
Avatar
Newbie

It is very lame to compare Africa with the western world here. That is why they are allowed to marry themselves, men-to-men, women-women nd they would not be scolded, that is why the divorce rate is soo high compared to Africans nd most especially, it would be a different thing if it was the opposite, if it was the guy that was 49years and the woman 25 yrs younger. Don't you know women mature and age much much faster than men? Did you talk about fertilty, alot, be realistic here.

@ Eva2009, pls the age difference is too much for marriage, sooner or later it would break, we know everything, anything is possible with God but umm this one is very shaky. He is just 24 yrs, what does he know?5-10yrs from now, what would he be thinking?

0
Avatar
Newbie

bitterpie u're slowpoke. Where in my post did i say im not proud of my race. Or saying african mentality implies im not proud of my race. U better go to the zoo

0
Avatar
Newbie

ure a fool. Who told u im not proud of my culture. Ure slowpoke and as$hole

0
Avatar
Newbie

na him peps be the palava what i think is that the difrence is too much

0
Avatar
Newbie

read ur last comment. Thats why i put it to u that the African factor is what makes most people think such cant work here. Even if u reside in alabama i dont care but the fact remains that it rarely happens in 9ja because of the african mentality

0
Avatar
Newbie

fuc.k off would you. do you even know where I live? it could be that I live in the us.when you are talking, talk for yourself do not say African fool

0
Avatar
Newbie

common. what do u understand by african factor? Kip ur mouth shut if u dont understand that part. Go to the US and u will see a 1000001 men younger than their wife with a huge age diffr. If that happens here in 9ja u will b scold because we are fllw the foot steps of our fore fathers.

0
Avatar
Newbie

oh please shut up, what the hell do you mean by the way African think? used your brain and think. a huge age gap can be problematic. People who are in different stages of their lives have different needs. If there's too many differences in needs it can be rather difficult to actually life a life together that suits both partner's demands.

0
Avatar
Newbie

it happens in often in the western nation. The reason why it rarely happens here is cos of the level of our thinking. We reason like lunatics(in cases like this). African mentality is a factor here. Our fore fathers mislead us to think it cant happen

0
Avatar
Newbie

i disagree. 25yrs can be dating more than 45yrs

0
Avatar
Newbie

yes sometimes age matter. common, a 25 years old wouldn't want to be dating 45 years old.

0
Avatar
Newbie

How old are you? . . .y'all think this is funny or something. You know what it takes to put on a thread like this? . . .she has been push to the wall, get that into ur f#"kn head!. . . and it doesnt make any sense when you are still making her problem more worse by mocking her.pls grow up

0
Avatar
Newbie

I dated a g that was 10yrs older than me. She chose me because i was more than a MAN. I was full of WISDOM and i had much experience than men of her age bracket. If we had married it would have been a testimony for some folks here that clamor that age is too much. This is why nigeria is not moving forward cos its the people living it that mess it up & not the government alone

0
Avatar
Newbie

Age is nothing but a number. But in this case the age difference is just too much. You might think it doesnt matter now, but latter people will start talking and acting funny towards both of you. And this might cause a lot of stress on you and your kids.

0
Avatar
Newbie

You commenters are heartless oh. Don't you realize that she is at her sexual peak at that age? We all know the whole shenanigan is a booty-call thang. The Young Dude wants to be able to brag that he bagged an older woman, and got cash from her too. The Older woman wants to remember what a young dude feels like romancing her. Haba, she only lives once. Let her enjoy her thang jare.

waits for flak

0
Avatar
Newbie

Age should not an obstacle cause it's just the number of days. give him a chance lady, woman.

0
Avatar
Newbie

the age diff is not too much. I realise only few adult make comments here.The rest are kids. Love is no respectal of age. Even if u are older than him with 30yrs marry him. Age is mere number. Im more brilliant than my grand folks

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ordinarily there is nothing wrong in dating someone you are older than but this is a different case entirely, the age difference is just too much, you have to be careful because the guy might be up to something else, unless if you just want to while away the time with the guy until you meet someone who is truly yours, that is if you are not married or a widow.

All the best!

0
Avatar
Newbie

The age difference is just too much, otherwise i wouldn't have had a problem about it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

it isnt,but 49-25? think again

0
Avatar
Newbie

with experience in njaland MY SIS IT WILL NOT WALK OUT

0
Avatar
Newbie

The difference it far too much, Better choice will come.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Few months ago, I was involved with a lady 10yrs older than me. Blv me, it could have worked out if she had been a little patient, but she wants marriage after 3months together which I wasn't ready for. I think I was open enough that we need time to get to know each other (a year at least), cos I don't wanna make a mistake. But she seems too desperate for me and I had to walk away. Blv me, she was very fond of me. It can work out if u r both ready to make it work out.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I personally think that it is fine. As long as you two are geniuinely in love, go for it

0
Avatar
Newbie

Let the truth is said. Age doesnt matter. Its only nigeria here that men MUST be older than their female folk for a date to be executed. In the western world such is not the case. We think archives. We think like old being. OP, if u love the guy go out with him. Dont allow some nairalanders deceive u with their comments cos some set of people here make comments from their arrxx

0
Avatar
Newbie

Age shuldnt b an obstacle

0
Avatar
Newbie

Love is blind, but I see good! Age ain't nothing but number. In other climes fine, but in Nigeria no way, love may be blind to 2 or 3 years difference, certainly not 25 years, the gap is too much.

Expect physical combat from his mother, and older sisters. Expect pressure from his friends and the society at large. Forget his so called 'maturity' he will cave when the real pressure mounts on him from the society.

As for you, discouragement and suspicion will not let you enjoy the union. You will definitely become jealous and old each time you see him in company of younger females. You will feel disgusted and insulted when he exercises his headship.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Let me add to your thoughts that talking online is so different from actually meeting in person. There's a clear difference in talking and acting. We say at this end of the world that "talk is cheap". Anyone could say anything they want, but are they acting that way? Not like someone is teaching him but can his actions preach his supposed "online" maturity? I don't think so. That woman is like born in the 50's and the guy born in the 80's --- there's bound to be a conflict of ideas. Old school will always be old school, new school will always be new and millennial kids will always be millennial. Don't get it twisted. That relationship is best kept online and restrict it at that. All these people ranting it don't matter never have been in such situation before and if they have, they should recite their account on here and we will dissect it all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

it shouldt in a perfect world

but since we arent in utopia, it matters

in ur case u say he's how old? 24 and ur 49?

now, thats a pretty huge gap

i cant say whether u should go for it or not, but if u have kids best bring them into the mix cos their opinions count

that said, let himn be the one to initiate anything and let all talks of marriage never come up anytime soon

ur dating a child who ur old enough to be his mom quite convieniently

best tread with caution and wisdom

0
Avatar
Newbie

Just drop it.

I'm even surprised u gave it a thought. 25 waaat?

0
Avatar
Newbie

In as much as i like younger guys, 49 versus 25 is kind of weird.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Just Two words-- DOnt DO it, and a couple more, dont do it, and a couple more, dnt**** but for real. It wud b cool if u just hung out and enjoyed each others company, gettn married or taking it any more serious will bring ya more stress than the relationship can handle, u cant break the crowd mentality on ds one, except u live on mars, or d moon, or jupiter, na pluto definitely pluto,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Where are both of you from. do u reside in Nigeria? has he been asking you for money as well?

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster I know you are lonely and desprate for a man, look in abroad YES but naija HELL NO!!! It will never work.

He will lie to you, use you and dump you. I know what am talking about, I ve dated a woman 5years older than I am.

I lied to her, b*a*n*g her everynite even do it on her office table when not chanced togo out from here office, there was nothing I asked she did not give. Along the line I got hooked, we were all over each other I accepted her. I pretended to ask my siblings not my parents no the issue of marrying an older person they abused even almost disowned me self.

I had to quit, all the same we are friends, she has two kids for a man. But yet we still sexually attracted to each other. When she is honey or myself we satisfy each other,even she has copies of s*e*x videos of us.

@topic if want to have a fling and waste your time go ahead expect nothing positive, PLS FORGET HIM IF YOU FORCE YOURSELF ON HIM AND HE ACCEPTS, NIGERIA-YOUR HOME-TRADITION WILL REJECT YOU! Its not worth it, at least look for someone close to your age.One luv.

0
Avatar
Newbie

But if on the other hand you are looking at marriage, sorry I have to say you are so lost. The relationship will buckle at the first sign of social pressure. Keep it low, keep it quiet and have fun. This kind of relationship can last a long time if properly managed. That is all the prospect it has.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Poster

No matter what you think of your feelings for him.

the difference between the both of you is way too much. . . .regardless of the maturity issue you raised,

Will you be mature enough to accomodate upbraids, reprobations and likes when you invariably step above the line?

Remember, agreeing to date him automatically eliminates whatever difference between the both of you; be it age, class and or career status.

So if you can't stand seeing your child's mate mouthing words at you or saying things you won't like, pls stay clear.

Another angle is that you two being together, will bring about sharing time with his friends who will surely be within the same age bracket as him.

Also not all or rather, most of his friends won;t be as mature and understanding as he is; hence, will you be accomodating as he is towards them?

Can you stand their talks, jokes and oral jabs? Also, how will your friends take to him?

If perception to the what the society thinks matter to you, pls perish whatever thought you have of dating him right away.

People will talk, our society is not mature enough to handle older lady relationships. . . . .i am a true witness to this. the society and our people are very choosy about people they tag along with.

So ma'am pls do your ego, reputation and personality, a world of good and drop this idea like a hot potato.

You may not infact you will not like the outcome/end.

BTW have you confirmed the sincerity of purpose of this dude? He might as well be a gold digger?

0
Avatar
Newbie

A 24 year difference, wow!!!

Dats toooooooooooooooo much,its either the guy is looking for a sugar mummy or he is up to something,

U r old enuff to be his mother,and you are probably his mother's age mate or older, biko

Let dis one slide, if not for anything,for pride and self respect.

0
Avatar
Newbie

No matter what, age or no age. . . .u deserve to be happy.

0
Avatar
Newbie

How will you feel if your son and junior brother see you with him or you do feel comfortable going out with him openly?

0
Avatar
Newbie

No this is uncalled for, age is just number but it has to be moderate please you need to think about too well eh eh eh oh,i wont do that,not for anything.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i don't think that one should be an obstacle between lovers. since you love him and you know he love you too and understand you either so what else. all i will advise you is to pray on to God for his abundant blessing in your marriage.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.