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Should I Be Worried If It's Not Me?

Hey everyone,

I was discussing with some friends and we got chatting about preferences, in the opposite sex.

One guy in particular has been flirting with me on and off for the past year and recently started becoming even more shy and caught off-guard around me so of course I get the impression that he has a crush on me (he occasionally tells me I'm beautiful and compliments me too).

However, in this discussion he admitted that he found my friend's figure to be incredibly sexy, she's slimmer than me, more toned, and has large bosoms, however her appearance is more slim than curvy. He reiterated that he liked her look because she appeared very flexible (LOL kinky guy).

Anyways, guys share insight, how am I supposed to feel, what does this mean, she's my friend so it's a little close for comfort and his reason too

I was slightly jealous, but then I was thinking, does this mean that he probably lusts after my friend or am I just over-reacting?

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42 answers

Na it's okay. One shouldn't force love. patience imprtant

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yea that's too bad. but you still have a chance. you only have to flirt with her and she will fall for you o.

sonner or later we will be here helping her analyze your motive. lol

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so what? almost everything ahs its good or bad.

the girl is a darl in my book. too bad she don't like my black Bottom

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hmm dr phil in the making lol

thinking too much analyzing too much worrying too much. same difference.

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what is there to enjoy when she's worrying abt boys 24/7 and u are encouraging her. smh

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you put it so wonderfully

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oOOoserious o let topup enjoy her life o.

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Nope. Sometimes it has a lot more to do with two homosapiens complimenting and understanding each other. when those two are matched, it is a beautiful thing to see them working together in perfect harmony.

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look at them. two grown up agbayas behaving like little kids. another reason u need to start posting in brown to complement your twin

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Definitely not! It is a choice to see past someones physical imperfections, whether u love or like them, as no one is perfect.

There is nothing wrong in a man both finding u and ur girlfriend attractive, especially if u are both attractive. Though u may look quite different (as you have attested to), it is still normal, as there are aspects of both your physicality that he finds attractive.

Men usually don't have a type, and even if they do, they are willing to go for another attractive woman who is not their "type". The criteria is always "attractive".

Anyway this is no big deal. Nigga may be gay, or he lacks liver.

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Maybe the guy got pushed away because you didn't encourage him initially. Again, I feel if he as much as place a premium on you,he will not openly be throwing compliments on your friend.How can he possibly place a value on you and then go flirting with with every one like you said?

Even if you had him to yourself,does this man look like the kind who can be faithful ? I think you deserve a lot better than this one.

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u guys hav spoilt topup's wonderful thread wit ur suya stuff. if u divert again, i will give u kpomo. you guys suck.

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@topup

not every guy knows how to put their feelings into words, so the guy might actually like u but do not know how to go abt it without been rejected & that ur jealous means u feel something for him

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who gave you suya? haha pls don't spoil the girl's thread

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OYINDA and C2H5OH

GET A ROOM ALREADY!!

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I didn't read through, so forgive me if someone said this already. It's possible he's trying to get you by bringing down your self-esteem first.

Also, guys are not the same, there's no formula to explain how guys behave.

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oyin, when was the lst time you had suya? i'm eating some suya right now and i almost forgot how good it tastes.

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lol what? it's true. u have nothing to worry about tho baby

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Take me as an example. I'm a big flirt. A lot of girls let it get to their already big heads, so it fattens up even more. Even when I communicate it to them that I was only joking, they feel like they're hot poo. Now, when I do the same thing with another friend of hers she gets mad and tells her that I'm a "player", which basically focks up my rep.

The good news is that I don't care because I was only doing it for fun.

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Women tend to internalize and personalize poo in situations like this.  Dudes on the other hand try to make certain that what they have their hopes up on is truly real.

I think you need to verbalize it wit him baby baby.

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he is very flirty with a lot of girls, he was always criticizing and bossing you around and at at the same time flirting and telling you he wants to marry you?

Is he naturally shy or he is shy only when he's around you? he doesn't seem to be shy to me if he has the courage to boss you around and flirt with you like that. The things he said about your friend aren't even characteristic of a shy person or even someone who would have interest in you for that matter.

are you sure he likes/liked you?

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Any guy would do anything to get the girl he wants, but there's a limit. There's a point when the game becomes too boring to play, esp when the one desired shows no interest.

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Who knows. .

So, does that mean, if a guy likes you, he'll always like everything about you??

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He is after your friend. He is just using you to get close to her.

1 of those GAMES MEN PLAY!!

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wow! stand up for ur friend gurl, first of all ask ur friend wassup witchu ur man? and if she does nothing bou it nxt tym shut him down

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You mean, chase him or reciprocate or??

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topup, sorry o. i didn't mean to embarrass, intimidate or even put ur knowledge into question. i was just trying to find out if u are above 20. though i didn't put that well. hope u understand.

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sorry, if i may ask 'how old are u? u sound very precious

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Thank you.

But in all sincerity is the last line true, or really that simple.

I have had boyfriends in the past who I have truly cared about but felt that I loved them despite their bellys, or skinny legs or whatever's supposed to be a turn-off for a typical woman. This meant that I acknowlegded the fact that they had these flaws.

Are you trying to explain that the guy who loves me might be aware of the flaws, but to him he wouldn't see them as flaws??

I love the advice, because I believe even if it is not always the case, it is worth holding it as a standard, any lower could drive a woman to choose a man who can subtract from her self-confidence.

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If you care enough to be jealous, then you gotta tell him what you feel.

Before you lose him

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I was shy, and unsure if he was being serious because of the fact that he was flirty with every one too. When he's tipsy he can be very flirty, but I'm usually just grateful when he compliments me, and I return the favour. My usual response is to just say thankyou, nothing more, it takes more than compliments for me to fall head over heels.

I'm not raging with jealousy, it's just made me wonder if it's possible to really like someone but then like their friend's body more.

I met him a year ago, along with many other people, he went his own way and I mine, and made his own friends and over the course of the year we've been working together in a group, causing a lot of frustration, so I was never interested since he was always criticising me and bossing me around. He was never consistent with the signals either.

Maybe he is giving up on me, though I wouldn't say so since he still gets really shy and freezes around me, but it doesn't really matter since he's travelling soon. . lol The story of my life.

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i commend ur polished english. if ur conduct is polished too and u are beautiful. never too worry ur Mr right will come. if he truly loves u he'll do all he can to get u, no matter how hard u play to get not flirting with ur friend. a lot of guys like people who sincerely are hard to get because those ones would ever be faithful wen they are gotten. my advice is dat wen u see the rite man that has d qualities u want go 4 him. if he truly loves u he'll like everything about u and not compare u wit another.

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ha the consequences of playing hard to get.

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maybe he's giving up on you. lol over a year is a long time

you don't like him back do you? why were you jealous?

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Ask him if he wants to date you and stop playing hide and seek.

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I have to admit, I wouldn't know how to respond to this. It is perfectly normal to be jealous though as long as you can control it.

I got a question though, while he was flirting and complimenting you, what was your response like?

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allow time to pass. u'll soon no just keep on smiling and try to ward off jealousy for it's rotteness to d bones

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Perhaps, but I'm good at these things.

It's been going on for longer than a year.

AND he admitted that he would most like to get married to me. . yada yada yah. . He says that he sees qualities of his ideal girlfriend in me.

More proof david?

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