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Should I Forget About All?

Hi friends>>>

After a failed Internship attempt in Moscow, I returned to Nigeria to send a mail to my host vis facebook, incidentaly i came across this dame as her name starts with same alphabet as that of my host, so i added her up and we started gisting, meanwhile she resides in Houston, few months after she told me she was coming to lagos for a wedding, and we hooked at festac.

I did ask her out, but she told me we needed time to understand ourselfves and all, that we shouldn't rush things. So be started gisting and all, she did me a minimum of an hour call every day, we prayed, fasted and shared fantasies and ideas, She requested that i should ask her of a gift on my birthday which i turned down,

To put all straight, we used almost 2years, to let her know, I am not out for are materials, though she 's alagosian, but she is American in orientation, she is a US citizen,

2years after, she told me, she wanted to tell me something, something she has been thinking since the first time we met, she wanted to help relocate to US.

This came after i had bursted her for 3months for hanging her phone on me, but i later addressed the issue and we continued. She told how she discuscussed the matter with her parents and how they gave her their real support. Meanwhile the same parent had asked her to help her cousin brother on same of which she refused.

To be honest, that is something i desired for my career puropse and ambition, i needed exposure and opportunity to help my family and friends, so with that statement, i became so anxious, it was like it should happen here and now. However she told me, her dad would have to come down so we could discuss and that he said he would handle all the process. She was supposed to go to Uk and flying to lagos so we can begin all but she told me before leaving for Uk that she wasn't too bouyant,

so she returned to Houston and unlike before, i didn't see her call for like 2weeks and i started sending her messages juast to keep in touch. .Sometimes I would call and she would not pick the call. I became so worried and at the same time restless, so i did her amail to ask that she let meknow hen she think it would be ok for her to beging the process, no response, later sshe picked my call and she told me in alow tomne that i should not have sent that spec of mail

for weeks she didnt pick my call and I had to send a friend who went to OTc houston to her and she went out of her ways to see my friend in his hotle and they discussed but she never told him anything , fI made sure i was always sending her messages but ask about her welfare only, and called her and we hanged up.

That night, she replied the mail i sent her which we had talked about and which had lasted for like 3months, and on the mail she expressed bitterness, claiming that i was pressuriing her and that she was the one who willingly told me what she would do, and that all my calls and sms iare pure pressure to her. .that her mind has changed towards me, That i shouldnt disturb her no more and that INFACT SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW!>>>

Iwas bitter, but i didnt react however I said to myself, I may not communicate with he ranymore, she later opened up to my friend that it's not as if she any boyfriend, but the whole thing is between us, after advice from my friends, I did her mail to appreciate her despite all, cos really, she has been awonderful friend, so she replied that mail, to say to me, she has forgotten athe past, and that she would mail me approciately later, but sincerely, I think, I'm ok with where we are now, as such, I mgiht not send her a mail nor call her again>>>Where did I go wrong people

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11 answers

sorry to say this but poster ur a fool obviously not yoruba,

person offered to help ur situation n u were behaving like an impatient dog. . . . . that kain thing, u go make am beg u to accept her offer

u acted to hastily,

solution, tell her that u dont want to relocate but u love her n wont mind her moving back home wit u. . . . . that u have a good career over here,

then tell her u want to meet her ppl. . . . . . if she is still interested at this point, u have bought urself a ticket to yankee

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Thanks all for all the opinions and thoughts, Yes I'm so moving on, Problem is>>> she went on to discuss with my friend in Uk>>mentioning that I had stop talking to her, and when he asked what the mater was>>> she said it was between us and that what she did mention might have gotten at me, that it's not that she has any boyfriend like she stated, just that the situation is a long one between us, he probed further, but she refused saying more

Now she did me a mail, that it took her time and a lot of courage to mail me, that she has decided to let her reaction be a thing of the past, and that she really did not have words as at the time of her mail but she would sure talk to me another time>>>

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the Change Xpert>>> I edit and re-edit my friends and companions' list regularly based on situational assessment. I am DONE! with her, and with all!

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Long distant relationship is near impossible, and very expensive. It takes a huge sacrifice.

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Go on with your life Bro., If she really likes you, she will be in contact. The truth is - Yo sound desperate and it doesn't worth it. Peace!

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This post can make someone bald, i berrer stop reading,i value my hard earned hair.

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mr. man, you sound/sounded so desperate its actually pathetic. . .and pls dont call this "love"; call it desperation, obsession or sumthin else but dont belittle/misuse the word "love"

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Thanks all, I understand the picture my story would paint before Us Nigerians, but i think i should let you know that for 2years, we battled the Nigerian factor in this whole thing. On my own, I'm using my secong passport if you know what I mean. I have the idea bout all it would take for her to convert my green passport to blue, as such I was even wondering if she knew what she was talking about, ( she is graduation this year,first degree, I'm prring for my 3rd degree) . Again she had asked that I promise her i would let go of her if it becomes necessary afterall there as a result of compatibility and all, she told me her cousin brother got a good job here moments after the discussion with her parents and when he was asked if he still would like to come, he said to them that he was not interested. Meanwhile I must own up that I am a 100% restless guy, I am not good with suspence and long expectations, I sent her that mail due to my current situation then, today I a m a Manager at an Oil Servicing Coy On the Island, The discussion she had with my friend was just a general one, I only wanted her to meet him as she has always been yearning to talk to all of my folks. Believe me it saddens me when Nigeria is been castigated and misconcepted based the ills of some men! Bottom line is I ve not in my whole life been in love, but what i feel in the insid of me for her is unexplanable. I have always believed in the man making things happen in a relationship so I wasn't keeping her for favour of any sort, All I care now is how combine love with what is on ground? The maor reason why I feel I should call it all off, at least to put a right impression bout Nigeria in someone's mind!

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Your story is very complex.

On one end, you have her Dad and cousin. She has not helped her family members and she has already proposed help to you. What do you think her cousin will say? You never mentioned if you discussed with her Dad.

One the other end, you pressurized her especially when you sent a friend to discuss with her. I think if she willing wanted to help you, you don't need to pressurize her.

My candid opinion, don't mention the issue of relocating to the states to her. Tell her your plans and don't include her in it. If that bothers her, she will open up and tell you what has transpired between her family members and her. Just keep in contact and stop creating the impression that once you get what you want from her, you will dump her.

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@poster

she went to London, some guy hit that toto right and she forgot about you, simple as that!

what happened to her father?! he didnt come to Lagos any longer?!

the way you talk shows us that you ONLY wanted to do this thingy for your own self not because you wanted to be with that gal. you probably got hot headed talking every other sentence about it and she saw through you.

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at a point she probly thot all you wanted was to use her to get there.you must see things from bothsides.Since she is now keeping the rship (it seems) official best let her go the more you try the more you look desperate and i hope am wrong but it seems one of her most attractive features was that she was "there",dont be too hard on yourself.

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