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Should I Get Pregnant For Him?

Landers, my friend has confided in me for an answer to this scenario:

"i am a girl of 29yrs working in a bank.

I am in a relationship for over 2yrs now. my man is already of age to get married. he has a good job in a bank as well. has a house of his own and his family is very comfortable.

Although he has not told me when he is ready for the marriage, but the sister, and the elder brother's wife are all telling me that the only way to get him committed and to get married to me soon is if i get pregnant for him.

They are advising me to get pregnant for him, so he will settle down with me.

as a matter of fact, i am ready to settle down.

Please, ladies in the house, if you find yourself in same position, how will you go about it.

Guys in the house, do u think getting pregnant for him, will get him committed?"

please sincere contributions will be appreciated.

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13 answers

digging ur own grave by urself u sure he want to be a father now

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helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he has not told you he wants to marry you after two years in a relationship, then he is not going to marry you,

his sisters cannot and should not speak for him, if he wants you for a wife, then he should have done that a long time ago.

call him to order and you guyz should discuss it and come to a conclusion, dont force anything on him, mention it to him, let him understand that there is no more time.

but what i think is that he does not want to marry you, thats all!

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@poster

Don’t ever think you can get a man committed by getting pregnant for him, he knows it’s intentional and he may out rightly deny the baby, what will you do?

His family members trying to push you into pit will eventually back out, they will tell you he’s an adult and came decisions for himself.

Even if he marries you, he is doing because of the baby coming, not because he’s ready, loves or trusts you enough to share his name and life. Believe me you wont really enjoy him this way.

What I normally advise singles is have their own life, build yourself up enough to stay alone, you may wait and he doesn’t propose meanwhile your time is going, don’t push yourself on any man, let him know you cherish the relationship, but if he delays let him know he’s losing a priceless jewel he may never find elsewhere, even with this tactics he would of course run proposing to you.

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akumbu dear, pls dont be a sucker for other people's opinion and try that. i can assure u, he'll drop u faster than u can say 'dumped' and then whose loss?

my advice? find time to discuss with him; tell him you wanna settle down and he should give you reasons why he isnt ready to. than you can begin to decide what exactly to do. who says you wont get a guy if you leave him now?

have faith dearie!!!

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you gotta be kidding me "should i get pregnant for him" for a person who seems to be educated and well adjusted it seems like you are about to make a very bad decision. Pregnancy doesn't hold any man he might marry you if you get pregnant but you should think of how much he would resent you and the child. In the back of his mind he would always know that he only married you because you got knocked up. Don't you want him to marry you because he is ready. Granted some guys would drag out a relationship and not marry because they are scared but damn you want to get pregnant.

Listen to the previous advice which stated that you should sit down and talk about your intentsions put away your naija pride of I'm the woman i shouldn't have to talk about marriage for him to know that I'm ready to settle down. Don't you that village tactic because it would blow up right in your face and his sisters would be the one's to laugh at you.

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Follow ur heart,i believe you know better

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pls dont get belle for him cos he might not be ready for it for reasons best known to him.

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@ poster

pls dont accept such proposiion as gettin pregnant 4 d guy. One, u are not so sure he wants u 4 keeps. Just be a gud gal, n like someone said, sit him down and talk 2 him. Find out frm him if he's d one 2 come or u shd wait 4 anoda , otherwise let him stop being a canopy over ur life so dat anyone who wants 2 enter will enter

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marriage should b by mutual consent, getting pregnant is more like forcing d guy, u'll always b treated like a desperate 1

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getting pregnant is not the best solution for this situation

he'll marry u if he really wants to marry u,

tying him down in the name of a pregnancy is even going to be more headache for u.

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He hasn't even told you when and if he wants to get married. His sisters might be his mouth piece but they are not him, it could backfire.

What if he doesn't want to commit? And then you trap him with pregnancy,(that is if he decides to still marry you) sooner or later he'll react negatively and it will affect you too.

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It is not fair for any guy to use pregnancy as bait or a condition for settling down. Have you considered that you might get pregnant and he'll still reject you?

Marriage in the first place is not based on having kids. It is first and foremost made for companionship that is found with love, kids have to be a decision both of you will agree to. My dear, please seek professional counseling from your pastor/imam or a marriage counselor. He should accept you for who and what you are not because he sees you as a child rearing machine?

If God forbid, that while pregnant you lose the child to a miscarriage, what happens? He is placing a price on you for his own selfish reasons and because you are dying to settle down, you cannot seem to think straight. My dear, while some people will say 29 is old and that you should be settled by now, i still don't think that marriage should be done just because "i'm running out of time" or "my biological clock is ticking away".

Be very careful and please talk to God about it.

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