«Home

Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance?

What will u do if a guy u seeing for just a Month beat you up and later says he is sorry and that it was the devil that got him mad?

I am in this situation right now! I got a slap last night from ma so called boyfriend over nothing.

Now he is begging his Bottom . What do you think? Should I forgive him?

Avatar
Newbie
84 answers

@ topic

I hope you'll be alive to ask if you can give him a third chance!

0
Avatar
Newbie

I can only wonder if the abuse wouldn't escalate until it was such that the woman didn't live to see a 30th time.

And, that's something that she shouldn't have to worry about.

I reiterate--LEAVE HIM! KICK HIM TO THE CURB! RUN--DO NOT WALK--RUN AWAY FROM HIM! DEVOTE YOUR TIME, EFFORTS AND ENERGIES TO SOMEBODY WHO IS WORTH THEM!

It's the least you can do as a matter of respecting yourself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Jesus said "give him the other cheek"

Aren't you a xtian? follow the holy script.

On a more serious note:

This is guy isn't jealous but possessive and obsessive.

He might not really love you but he might not stand the thought of letting other guys approach you.

I don't consider the love of a possessive guy/girl to be real love.

Open your eyes!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Look girl, from the first time a man beats you , and you forgive him he WILL BEAT YOU AGAIN EVEN WORSE.

This guy is going to beat you sooner or later. leave while you still have a chance

0
Avatar
Newbie

jackelony, regardless of what she did there is no reason, that any man should slap a woman. Since he is not that last man on earth why, will you stick around for the next time, that he decides to choke you or beat the hell out of you. Abeg ol' girl leave fast and don't look back. There are better men out there.

0
Avatar
Newbie

hey siena, u are right. he slaps u today, then he blows u tomorrow, then it is a lifetime of misery. men like that cannot change. their only saving grace is when they meet a woman that can match up to their strenght. it wld be difficult leaving him i know, but next time he blames it on the devil again, it might be too late for you

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ topic

yeah give him a second chance to finish what he couldnt finish - kill you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ DeGlory: Get away from him, and fast. Men like that will always be sorry after the act, and beg for forgiveness, saying it'll never happen again.

And sadly, a lot of women will give them chance after chance, losing more self esteem each time they get beaten. Often with tragic results.

Get away from this violent beast, before he either maims you, or kills you! I know some posters asked for the full story, as to why he slapped you, but it's irrelevant! There's absolutely no justification for a man to raise his hand to a woman. It's just so wrong, you deserve better.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Word, ThoniaSlim!

Remember, ladies--a leopard does not change its spots!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster,

for heaven sake should you even ask?

if a man does not respect you enough to trust you and give you the benefit of the doubt but had started beating you in less than two month into a relationship( not that he is allowed to beat you at anytime o) then pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee leave him. the relationship is still new you will get over it

I will leave a man for two things:

1. If he beats me and

2. if he cheats on me

Ladies, we deserve some respect. Haba wetin we do men sef?

0
Avatar
Newbie

@topic

Under no circumstances should a guy raise his hands against any lady. he slapped you once and he would do it again, its a progressive thing. don't surprised if he carries it further. i suggest you leave him alone.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i just have to be honest and say this is why i don't deal with men. i don't trust them. i don't want anything to do with anyone who feels SO insecure about themselves that they have to control and brutalize another person. and no gender bias here. i have been on this planet for 45 years and i know that it's not the women who perpetuate this problem. why do men beat women? to me it's no different than racism. there are some people who feel that others are inferior than they are, because of the color of their skin, and so they feel justified when they demean them, abuse them and deny them any privileges. why don't male abusers see this correlation?

0
Avatar
Newbie

next time he tries it, gimme a call on this number and he'll never do it again-080, , , bla bla bla

0
Avatar
Newbie

Yesterday,I had lunch with my mother who told me something I never knew.  Two days before our family (mother & 5 siblings) fled Philadelphia, my father punched my mother in the eye.  She said he apologized and told her he would never do it again.  Well, he never punched her again.  Instead, the next day, he ground my mother's other eye into the carpet until it was black.  Now my mother had two black eyes.  My mother then wore shades to her job as a teacher at the elementary school.  And she lied when they asked what happened to her eyes.  She said she was mugged. The following day, my mother pulled all of us out of school, boarded a Greyhound bus, and that's how we came to live in Colorado.  That was 34 years ago.

realize that I shouldn't typecast all men, but my goodness, it seems to be getting worse these days.  Why do men have to beat up on women?  Why do they kill women instead of getting a divorce?  Why do they threaten and terrorize the kids?  What  is wrong with them?

0
Avatar
Newbie

There are times in this world when it's OK to be selfish.

Forgive him for your own sake. LEAVE him for your own sake, too!

0
Avatar
Newbie

LOL! hilarious and very true.

to the poster:

any guy who would slap a woman is a wuss and has no decency, no respect for you, and no integrity for himself.

any guy who would do this after a month of dating has balls!

plus the fact that he told you to put your call on speaker is a big red flashing sign. Run away and don't look baaaaaaaaaack.

you should forgive him. accept his apologies. right after that, kiss him on the cheek goodbye.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Its not always a good option to stay with a guy like that oooooooooooo

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thank u Mr Jude u very rite, i know i am in da best position to answer it, but i am confuse n that why i need ur help, but nt to worry sum nice Nairalanders have already given me their support and i have made da rite choice as well.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ topic

why not? i guess you enjoy being slapped.

0
Avatar
Newbie

so in order words she should endure these beatings since the next man may be worse?

Get thee behind me,Satan!

0
Avatar
Newbie

There are men who do more heinous crime than woman bashing.

You run way and you to run whom? Do you know? The devil you know

is better than the Angel you've never seen.

Remember, some of them good ones and some of them bad ones and

some of them bad ones turning out good ones while some of the good

turning out sad ones. Choose you this day what you will do. As for me

and my house, we will pray for our partners to turn out better.

0
Avatar
Newbie

This is the problem i have with women, the need to get an answer to a question that you already have the answer too. Why do you people do this to yourself, HELLO!!! you are dating for what 1-2 months and he already slaps you and why because of a telephone call, and now you ask if you should give him a second chance, why dont you get him some boxing shorts, gloves and shoes to match.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@NDIPE

I am not jokin!!!!!!!!!

Damm serious, i will never joke abt a matter like this or imagine a guy beatin me up in a relationship but unfortunately that is da case.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Lady, if this story is really true, then you might have a possessive boyfriend. It's time to alert the cops!!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Thank u all once again for your advice, but this guy wont let me be! He calls me like mad what do i do? Do u guys think i should get real rude to him , maybe that way he will stop calling

0
Avatar
Newbie

today, slap tomorrow will definitly be punches

wanna live with that?

0
Avatar
Newbie

It is very funny i thaut i wa the only one her husband beats.The funnyest thing i did not tell anny one when he did it the first time while we where dating.Like you said he started begging,so did mine.I got married to him believing he will change like he has promised,cos i know deep down in my heart that i love him derly.But after our wedding he did it again not even once but thrice i had to tell my Dad.And do you know what my Dad threatened him.And i will yell you he became afraid since then till date he has stoped it for good.I got married 2005.My advice to you is to watch and pray.TAKE CARE

0
Avatar
Newbie

Soulpatrol where you at?

0
Avatar
Newbie

flee, run for your life now its still possible. I cant really see a bright future for you together cos you would always be the punching bag

0
Avatar
Newbie

Giving us the full story does not excuse the physical abuse this woman has experienced. Under no circumstances should a man "beat up a woman or slap her". There is no reason for that type of behavior. If a woman is getting on a man's last nerves (so to speak), the best thing for him to do, especially if he knows his temper or anger is getting the better of him is to walk away and remove himself from the potentially dangerous relationship.

Why would you need confirmation that you do not want a man to slap you around. Just think about how it made you feel when he did it. Now picture that feeling and pain over-and-over again. . .are you willing to live years with that type of abuse. . ? It is not what we think that matters, but it is what you are willing to endure that matters. Can any good quality that he possesses outweigh the pain he causes each time he hits you? Of course not! If he cannot control his anger now, what will he do when the "real pressure of problems" escalates.

My life, and yours, is precious. And life is too short FOR ALL THAT DRAMA! Just move on!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ the poster,if you insist on forgiving him and staying with him,make sure to send money so that your folks back home can find and pay for a burial plot since you may soon be going home!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Sorry my a$$. Once a woman beater, always a woman beater, My advice to you is to run like a fugitive. Don't allow any man to subject you to such inhumane treatment all in the name of LOVE.

If someone LOVES you, he would do everything in his powers to protect you. Abuse of any kind is not acceptable and should never be tolerated.

0
Avatar
Newbie

MY FRIENDS VE SAID IT ALL.i am actually disappointed cos u ve to come to us 4 our opinion(s) bt it is all good.ur so called boyfriend doesnt deserve you.it is a wonder d devil get blamed for people's wrong.u r lucky it is ur boyfirend not ur husband.Run while u can

0
Avatar
Newbie

young lady, this guy did not pick u up for a slap he probably will slap any other lady he dates its in his blood TANTRUMS, U better leave him before LIFE leaves you even jesus that died for love still got his life back, I CANT GUARATEE A RESURRECTION FOR YOU OOOOOO.IF U LEAVE HIM AND HE CHANGES GENIUENLY THEN GOOD AND FINE U CAN POST ANOTHER TOPIC BUT IF NOT JUST STOP SEEING HIM AND WAIT FOR GODS MIRACLE

0
Avatar
Newbie

Will you take all this advice and scram? But wait o gals who always get angry when thier boy frnds touch their phone are always double dating. So which you dey.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Topic

I think you are in the best position to answer that yourself,

If he slapped you over nothing then i think you should look at him as someone that would even do more harm to you if you continue with him.

But if there was a cause for the slap and then he later apologized then i think you should reconsider that both of you were at fault and learn to settle your disputes.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Run girl run. No one and I mean man or woman should be made to stay in an abusive relationship. I guess you might be telling yourself how it might have been your fault. The truth is that He could have handled the problem another way instead of slapping the hell outta you. For your own sake I hope you dont throw away all the advise you are getting here outta da window once he looks at you with those big sad brown eyes.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster,

my friend almost went deaf cos of a slap from her fiancee!!!believe me that was his 5th chance!!!!!!!

if you like your self and your fine face, you had better run like the devil is chasing you. my friend left when she found her load outside (despite all the chances given to the guy, he still kicked her out of his house at 11pm).

a word is enof oh,

0
Avatar
Newbie

ONLY A WEAK MAN WILL RAISE HIS HAND ON A WOMAN, and for those of u guys in here that think it is ok to beat ur babes, IT IS NOT, & AND HEAVEN HELP THE MAN WHO WILL RAISE HIS HAND AT ME, I WILL SEE U TO UR GRAVE, rubbish!!

U fit beat ya mama?, women need love, care and protection, not abuse, and if u say it is CORRECTION, they dont need that sort of correction.so it is more like ur FRUSTRATION, they are old enough and mature enough to be communicated to and wit, not beaten

Look, my dear if u stay with this guy and give him another chance, na u sakpa, as for me i say LEAVE HIM, if he loves u and u love him, break up with him, and watch whether and how he changes and controls his temper whilst u r apart. if not N.E.X.T!!!!, i beg no spoil ur fine body and self esteem in the name of love, cos u feel u need to stay with a woman-beater

I used to date a guy who had a harsh temper, and ppl were scared of him, but when he stood infront of me in an argument(beraing in mind i am tiny), i would talk back, and ppl could not understand, because they are used to him lashing out. i am ur babe, i need to feel i can express my thoughts and emotions (whether angry or sweet) without fear of being hit, i told him, d day u will raise ur hand on me, whether u strike me or not, 'DIS LONDON GO SMALL FOR WE TWO', madness!!!, when my parents beat me as a child, u sef u wan raise ur hand!

0
Avatar
Newbie

you beta run away if u know wot is good for u.

0
Avatar
Newbie

WHAT I MEAN IS:

WE ARE RATIONAL HUMAN BEIGNS!

I AM NOT SUPPORTING YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR RAISING HIS HAND AGAINST YOU, BUT I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE PLAYED A PART AT GETTING THERE. JUST TALK TO ONE ANOTHER AND NUTURE TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

UNFORTUNATELY, MOST OF US FORGET WHERE WE ARE COMING FROM.

HERE IN LONDON, IF YOU ASK YOUR WIFE WHERE SHE IS , IT IS DOMESTIC VOILENCE, BUT FOR NAIJA WHERE WE FOR GROW, MY MAMA DEY TELL MY PAPA WHERE SHE DEY! NOT BECAUSE HE THINKS SHE IS OUT THERE CHEATING, BUT POSSIBLY BECAUSE HE MISSES HER AND NEEDS TO KNOW HOW LONG HE HAS TO BEAR BEFORE SHE COMES HOME TO HIM

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Deglory

A month old boyfriend beats you just because a guy called you ?? I wonder what he will do if the guy comes to visit you. I hope you have a bulletproof vest. ' Cause this maniac will just shoot your a$$ if another guy touches you. You better run while you are still breathing. Your Boyfriend is sissy, tell him to hit a man and not woman. olosi, Amugbo !!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

This guy will never change except you allow him to take your calls, read your messages, stop laughing or being friendly with guys, tell him about everything you do and above all not challenge his decisions, otherwise you will be use for his muscle exercise.

My sincere advice if you can't follow the above order, please run faster that you can imagine

0
Avatar
Newbie

he slapped you after only one month and you are asking if u shld give him a second chance?

Maybe your eyes will open more clearly when he thrashes you with a koboko after one year.

0
Avatar
Newbie

[center]You want to know if you should give him a second chance so he can really beat you up?

RUN

RUN

AND DON"T LOOK BACK!

@GeminiII - Pray about it together!? THATS THE PROBLEM IN NIGERIA TODAY!!!

why can't he go pray about it his damn self!? and leave her out of it?!

If he's hitting on her a month into the relationship- he'd probably kill in 2 years!

RUN

girl

RUN

AND DON'T LOOK BACK![/center]

0
Avatar
Newbie

'women beaters' dont change. rather, they get worst. now d realationship is still young, get out ot it cos he'll never change. my dad has never raised his hands on me, so i dont think they've given birth yet 2 d man that will do dat.

baby girl, a man that raises his hands on a woman, is not worth the stress. no matter what u did. get out now !!!!unless u have some extra cash 2 dash an orthopaedic hospital.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Mei think its too early in a relationship for him to slap you(though he is not supposed to at all) but I dont agree with seun at all i think u shld give him a second chance and a very serious warning maybe he has a bad temper give him a second chance and both of you shld pray about it

0
Avatar
Newbie

No second chance. Seun & Rlst84sale have said it best - and from a male perspective. Thank you both!

After 14 years of unspeakable physical abuse, my mother pulled me and my five siblings from our various schools in Philadelphia in April of 1973 (and she was pregnant!), boarded a Greyhound bus, where we moved to Colorado and lived in a one-bedroom house. She went from nothing to where she is now - a five-bedroom home, with a media room, flower and vegetable gardens and a swimming pool.

No one deserves to be abused by anyone else. And no one should feel so bad about themselves that they think they can't be anything without the abuser. My mother is a living example that you can get rid of anyone, or anything bad in your life, and succeed without limits.

To the original poster: which do YOU prefer? Physical abuse, or a peaceful, comfortable home of your own?

Only YOU can make that choice.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.