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Should I honour Invitation from This Married Woman?

Helen was a girl I knew in camp as a fellow corper many years ago.She was one of two pretty girls I saw having a gossip on the return leg of a marathon walk. I invited myself into their discussion and was fortunately welcomed.We yarned all the way to camp.

In the evening and for much of the night we got seriously acquainted and even made out (kiss and play), all the fatigue not withstanding.We were to have hot passionate sex at least twice before camp broke.To most of us the posting that came was a sham. Helen got redeployed with one phone call and I, despite all efforts at redeployment ended up in the middle of a place called No-where.

Of course there was no GSM at the time. And that was the beginning of my long, frustrating and fruitless search for Helen the microbiology graduate. All I had to remind me of her in later years was a photograph we took with the camp commandant (a Major) standing in between us.The rest had systematically disappeared in my home over the years.

Fast forward to present day.I had through my lawyer recently served a notice of total war on my bank of several years. The account officer determined to make peace intimated me that her new boss would like to meet me to which I reluctantly concurred. Then, in walked Helen. Of course instantly I forgot the purpose of visit. After the initial shouts and all that you are so this and and you are so that, we are embracing, we are handling and we are kissing passionately.My hand was all over her to which she responded invitingly. I was so thrilled I only managed to restrain myself from closing down my business for the day and telling everyone to beat it. 

Now, here I am looking at her sms invitation to her temporary company guest house accommodation.I recognize there are issues on my side and even weightier issues on her side.If I choose to go, the only way to avoid having sex is leaving my manliness behind.But If I dont I will not only be letting a close friend down but the huge void that has persisted in my life all these years on account of her absence will remain and might even get wider.

What will you do if you were in my shoes? If you are a Nigerian, male and under 35yrs of age, please do not feel compelled to respond to this post.Not even if you are a moderator on NL. Thank you.

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42 answers

@sweetpain, u get time sha

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Unfortunately I couldnt find a role in my narrative for the growing army of Bottom-licking maggots that abound.It should however not be misinterpreted as a lack of love because we are all creations of the almighty.

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u are about to cause another pain.

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I thot mine was bad - a friend of mine who has a boyfriend is stressing that she wants to show me her various nighties for the next 3 nights, I was tempted then thot what if some body does that to my chic, ol boi na run i dey run!! My own na run nigga run.

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toomuch matter for mathias

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If you care abt this girl, as much as u claim u do, then u'll be honest with yourself and stop making excuses. You want her, but does she want you? if she doesnt, then what, and if she does, then what ? Please know that reality is different from fantasy. Choose wisely!

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if she's not married, you should acknowledge the invitation and lick her with anger.

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This past 24hrs has not been easy. At least 2 people in my office said they could swear they saw me smiling to my self. If only the fools know what is going on in my mind. I overheard one of them saying it has to do with the bank manager's visit.Hard to blame them.They've all picked up cheques in a 28-day month believing they earned it.

The problem is that right now, I have lost all concentration ahead of tomorrow's planned meeting. I have decided that I have to attend or else I will be miserable-that simple.I had also thought of going there with my bossom friend to pinch me when things start getting out of hand. Unfortunately he is frying in his own soup as we speak having made some bad business decision.So you can discount women issues from all his engagements in the immediate future.

The option of meeting in a public place comes to mind. But which public place in Nigeria is it socially acceptable to be alone with a married woman? (None existent) parks? Eatery? Otio.

All I have to depend on now is my will power. Perhaps this is one major asset I have overlooked until now. I have been through situations many will consider extreme both in business and in love requiring strong will and I have always triumphed.

I will go. We will talk, laugh and remain best of friends.

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this man seems 2 have made up his mind,so leave him alone.let him go n f**k! but remember the adage dat says "a dog that will not get lost would listen to the voice of the hunter"

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Being the slut he is, that is plausible.

lol I refuse to be cured until I see a ring on my finger.

hahahaha You have to obey with your head. If she told you to jump off a bridge, she obviously doesn't mean it . . . unless she is like me, then she does mean it.

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Go and tie his slinky then.

For all you know the poster might be canine-styling the married woman as we speak.

Sex would cure your aches.

He would. . . . . . . . . . . .When men don't obey women, y'all don't like it.

This dude wants to respect the woman's wishes and yet y'all are still complaining.

How can one satisfy a woman??

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I cannot let him get on with it. That isn't what my pastor to me preached today.

Yes but this ache is resistant to it lol

If she wanted to kill him, would he go? No. He knows that the opportunity to have sex is gon' be there.

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If she married, then let go. It would be very foolish for you to throw away a hard earned reputation for an unnecessary sex. Don't try to destory another man's home because one day, you too would get married. I would suggest that you remain just friends, if you can't do that, then detach yourself from her.

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Thats Africa for you.

Polygamy is not right, FGM is not right, the poverty and diseases are not right.

Don't expect the poster to be right. Let him get on with it.

Thatz no excuse to me. . . . . .U have never heard of sexual healing??

How is he the slut??

It all bores down to what the woman wants.

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OMG!! So she's a LovePeddler but he isn't. You're lucky I don't know where you live. Btw, if you knew this man well, you'll know he's the lead slut.

lol me?? Look, I'm sorry I wasn't in the mood when we canoodled ok? I'll make it up to you.

Sure, maybe she inviting him to a guest house for bible study.

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It is my duty to ensure i don't marry a LovePeddler, isn't it??

Canoodling doesn't guarantee sex. . . . .U of all people should know better.

Many factors could come up. Let him find out what the woman has in store before y'all bring out the daggers.

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Why ignore a woman's request??

What is to say sex is on the cards if i may ask??

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Let's say the story was true, both of them are married, isn't ignoring the "invitation" the proper thing to do? Would you have the same response if the genders were switched?

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Na today??

As for as some of us can still struggle to keep our heads the right way up.

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The poster sounds genuine.

I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

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na wa o. no more respect for spouses again. this world is upside down.

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The married woman wants to meet the poster.

Is there anything wrong in him honouring the schitzo??

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You'll think a 40 year old married man would know better. smh

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LOL @ tpia. It is more than just "kitten". There are feelings that were not addressed in the past or given the chance to blossom.

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@sweetpain

i'm just not sure what you want out of this

for you to have made all this effort to find her then I'm not surprised that you want to know how she has been and reconnect

Sex is inevitable because your emotions are involved(for nostalgia sake) so telling you to call and say you cant see her wont work

whatever happens -brace yourself for heartache cos this is not just a 'booty call' for you

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I would like to say let your morals be the judge of that, but people are guided by certain principles that are quite unusual and insane. That said, I hope you agree with me and it's universally accepted that it's wrong to sleep with a married woman. If you really do have to see her, why not do so in a public setting where nothing would possibly happen?

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The only thing I know for sure is that you should not have sex with her. If you go see her you will definitely have sex. She will likely never leave her husband so why cause yourself unnecessary pain. She belongs to someone else now. I know it is easy to say but my contribution to this is to call her and tell her that you cannot see her. If you want to you can let her know why you chose not to see her and I am sure she will understand as she probably has the same feelings. Rather than get yourself tangled in a web of lies and deceit why not just do the phone conversations for a while. Check yourself into a seminary and call her from there LOL because it looks like a volcanic eruption is about to happen

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Dont destroy your destiny my brother flee is an understatement, RUN or even fly

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But what reason can I possibly advance for not showing up? I cant tow the religious line because she knows me more than that. Besides it wont wash considering our little office display.

In any case I truly want to be alone with her if only to relieve old times and fill in the gaps.I also recognize that if sex comes into the equation, this relationship wont be over any time soon.

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leave her alone. whatever she's got to offer is worth neither the wahala nor the risk.

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Brother, flee as fast as your legs can carry you from her. I bet the devil will overcome you into shagging the hell out of her. And for your information, once you do her, the shagging will never stop untill the husband grab both of you. I know the urge to meet her is high but resist it with all your might. Enter into your room right now and pray against meeting her. Shout "NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T DO IT,, NO, DON'T DO IT" as many times as possible to yourself. This is necessary to charge your willpower and arouse both your consiousness and subconsiousness to resist her advances. May God protect you from the doom that is about to come. Amen!

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Now back to topic. D-day is getting closer. I am a wreck. What do I do?

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Eat a herpes infected manliness, u sex starved slowpoke!

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I mean, God go bless u wit wife wey go dey 'chook' outside, til she dash u AIDS. Since u don begin close ur office cos of toto, na so toto go take close ur office forever.

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Stop being a Arrow, i am only a "youngin" and certainly aint married nor bleeped a married woman!

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SHE KISSED YOU AND YOU WHERE IN ALL THOSE TURMOIL?!!.PLS LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND TELL ME HOW "MATURED" YOU THINK YOU SOUND WHILE ANGLING FOR "MATURED" ADVICE. IF AT THIS STAGE IN YOUR LIFE AND WITH ALL YOUR UNMENTIONED ISSUES, YOU STILL GO INTO A TIZZY OVER A MERE KISS, IT SHOWS WHERE YOUR FOCUS LIES AND YOU MUST DERIVE YOUR ANSWER WHETHER TO GO SEE HER OR NOT FROM THERE. GO AND MEET HER, YOU ARE MORALLY QUESTIONABLE ANYWAY SO WHAT WOULD YOU LOSE?

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POSTER

Leave a married woman alone!

If you must go, de-tach your wanton manliness from your body!

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De moment u go shag, u'll end up like ur name - sweetpain. You'll move from sweet life to painful life (exit).

Cos, God go shatter u biz, bless u with one slot wey go bring AIDS come give u for ur own house, you go turn impotent, etc! Den, u go dey feed from hand-to-mouth till u die. Shebi na toto u want, na de only thing wey dey kill man sharp-sharp, nao!

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you were tempted to close down your business for the day, because of sex.

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Sorry I wasnt clear enough. Marriage is among the weightier issues on her side. Thanks for advise

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So D-day finally came yesterday. Zero hour was 7pm. All arrangements had been made even to the finer details. To wifey, I would be working late. She had no reason not to believe me this once because this is a hardly used alibi. In any case she would be too busy with my rare gift of two of the latest home video CDs (never shown on DSTV).Their delivery had been carefully timed.

The debonnaire gentleman

In the office, I had a shave and a cold shower then opened a fresh pack of D&G shirt chosen to go with my favorite blazer. Thereafter with a dab of cologne and a hint of musk I was ready to roll. Before I left, I had one look at the man in the mirror and flashed my usual Clint Eastwood smile. If I was a lady I would love me right now.

In the car I tried to focus on my objective and not get carried away. I ejected Marvin Gaye CD that was playing and replaced it with the cleansing jazz of Sadad Watanabe. In no time I began to see that the whole hype wasn’t worth all that trouble. If I was a little more trusting in my will power and in myself as a man there will be absolutely no need.

Meet the  lady in pink

On getting to her door I gave two brisk tap and in no time the door swung open. There stood Helen in all her majesty wearing her satin pink wetin call. I took the door from her and very gently closed it. That was when she gave me the hug. It was magical especially the way it sent ‘strong will’ out the window-piaaam. I returned her hug and allowed my fingers to wander a little below the waist line. I could already tell she wasnt wearing any panty. You are an evil man Sweetpain, she declared rather nonchalantly heading for the kitchen.

I looked around, taking in the flat-which looked rather well appointed and befitting of my hostess. She had obviously spent a lot of time in the dining area preparatory for this date. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know that I am not a food person. Always lacked the pleasure most derive from eating ‘faourite food’. Infact among my fantasies when I was younger was getting a pill to keep away hunger for a whole week or more. My lack of appetite for food more than compensated for by my other appetite. But since I hate to be a kill joy I have to eat as much as possible and be seen to be enjoying the food.

As we ate, we talked. With a husband and two kids in boarding school, she has done quite well for herself. They already have a house and are planning on building a second. Her work responsibilities goes beyond her immediate branch she says. It didn’t take long for me to figure that she is the one carrying the family along. The husband is a contractor who parades a big family name. For the uninitiated, contractor in Nigeria means hustler (not necessarily dignified).

Did she look for me?

Any way the discussion could have gone on all night but I seized the right moment to ask “Did you look for me”? She was brutally frank (maybe too frank) when she said “No!”. And then she continued “I was confident you will look for me. When you didn’t, and it was time for me to move on, I felt hurt, broken and used after what happened between us in camp”. When I began to narrate all the troubles I went through in trying to find her over the years, Helen was moved to tears. I held her close as she sobbed on my shoulder. That was when she reminded me of her uncle who facilitated her redeployment and who I could have contacted. In the end I had no choice but to conclude that we were both screwed by Esu (the god of reversal. W.S).

Let the music play

Dinner served and devoured, we moved over to the sofa and it was time for her to ask all the questions. As I replied each and everyone, I watched as her expressions changed from excitement, to incredulity, bewilderment, etc but they have one string linking them all -spontaneity. After all these years, Helen has not changed one bit.

Before long we were on the floor dancing more like rocking to old school blues. She had her feet comfortably planted on my instep so there was no real motion and this must have gone on for eternity. How she smell nice.

I sense trouble

When fatigue got the better part of us we had to retire back to sofa but this time with her head on my lap. Naturally my hand had no where else to go but her thighs and her chest and every where else in between. I did notice something rather unusual though since I arrived the apartment. My kini is not showing quite the same enthusiasm. Now I think there is a problem because she appears to have been excited and has made for kini.

After more than 5 mins of deadlock with my hostess getting increasingly restless I decided to perform my usual magic-zip down. Still nothing. This is something I have only read about but never witnessed. With the situation getting increasingly desperate, poor Helen is giving me the Monica Lewinsky treatment. Kini shivers and comes alive ready for mounting only to crash to gravity after 6 sec. I was so embarrassed I got my zipper up.

I have to say I enjoyed myself intensely until that moment. Following that I felt so inadequate and just wanted to disappear. Helen’s suggestion that it could have been the overwhelming tension sounded like a good safety net but I didn’t want any excuses for what was obviously an embarrassing failure and overall nightmarish outing. Not sure if I remembered to say good night.

On my way home, I pondered what could have been responsible. I decided it was no use going home now because there was no way I could sleep. Like a flash a thought came to me. I placed a call to Ms 20 I was to meet in 48hrs. I will be going out of town (I lied) could we hang out this evening? She said ok and was on her way. I thought I felt a quake in my bossom already.

Crime scene

So it was that my evening ended up at a hotel I had no intention to be whatsoever yesterday. Without much ado we got down to it. Things went rather normal at first. The initial sex moans and all that. The problem is that you never know if they are genuine or not.I generally don’t like to hear it. Later in my subconscious I thought this had turned into grunts and then I think silence. Unknown to me within all that relentless thrust, almost an hour had passed. When I looked she was limp. I checked for signs of life. I could see none. I panicked. Like they do on TV, chest compression oya. This was futile on bed so I had her transferred to the floor. Then kiss of life. This was done in alternation. People will say I used her for ritual. I am finished. Off to the bathroom, got water and splashed on her face. Gradually, Ms 20 came to. When she did her first question was ‘what am I doing on the floor’? ‘Oh we were having fun you got dehydrated and then you passed out’. ‘Oh you don’t say.’ If only she knew how close to death she came.

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