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Should I Marry Him?

im twenty five years old and i have been in a relationship with my man for the three yeras and a half, we met in my final year of school, however,when i met him,he was just getting admission into the school, he had been in school before but had to leave because of some academic problems, i didnt know this at first but when i found out,it wasnt really a big deal for me, iwas determined to wait because i felt i had finally found the man i was looking for, im thru with service now and he is still in school, there are so many things against us, my dad is tribalistic and will not hear of me marrying another tribe, ma man is not my tribe, im working now and he is trying to establish his own company.things ahve been pretty rough.im not a materialistic person nut sometimes,i feel a twinge of fustration.i love this man of mine with every fiber of my being and im willing to stand up to my dad for him, he has tremendous potential or else i wouldnt be so adamant bout him, that does not mean i dont get tempted from time to time to ditch and run, am i being silly?is it wrong for me to feel impatient once in a while?by the way,he's 31 yeras old, what do you guys think?

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46 answers

I'm not in use of my legs now! so if you wan borrow am, they're both yours! and please no even let them touch ground when you dey run.

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If you have to ask, then you're not yet ready to marry him.

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Make up your own damn mind what you want for yourself.

You do not need Nairalanders to make up your mind for you.

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Made the most sense so far!!!

Well said!

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If u love him and u are truly happy with him, forgive him and get ready to accomodate this other woman and his child in ur life, as they will always be a part of ur life.

if u dont feel much for him, and u know u cannot tolerate having extra baggage in your life, my dear remove ur slippers, dust them and run far away and dont look back. This setting can be emotionally draining.

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@ poster,

there is nothing here to be confused about.

just let him go. i beg

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my dear if u want my advise i will simply tell u to back off,even if d family calls u their wife,u are not marrying the family,u r marrying the guy, and mind u a woman already has a child for him,not only a child but a BOY, that BOY is going to be d first son come reign come sun,so even if u born ur ownn,na wetin d first one get na hm e go give ur own

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Very well said.

No fool will even do that.

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[center]WORD!!![/center]

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well he decieved u all this while claiming she is his cousin, dat tells u he is not truthful enuf.

moreso from wat u said i understand he only suddenly realised the oother girl was trying to decieve him into marriage,

that in itself made u second choice.

best bet is for you to move on and find a man that wud tink of u and only u alone.

his gifts and calls shud not be a measuring point if he wants you back.

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its all part of the job dats the wifee part i do dat sometimes to my brothers girlfriend u are on the part to being a stepmom and very soon ur would be stepson will join us here with one topic I HATE MY STEPMOM can u handle dat?am checkin d wahalla from the whole tin and u know how guys are de dnt like stress so wen d problem comes he will be travellin and leavin u alone to face the wahalla and with a waffi gal it would be a sure way to burn calories SHOO!is it worth it if he loved u from d onset he shudnt have lied to u or maybe him and d gal had a brawl as per her eyes too tear and he is seeing u as d mugu men can be up to no good if u ask me leave him and say no! but do u know wat is important listen to ur heart.

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abi o.girl shine ur eyes well well.

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Dude is insecure.

What would he tell you next- stop talking to your male co-workers?

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As the saying goes there is no smoke without fire , for the guy to suspect you i guess you have indeed made him do so.Well to win his trust you need to earn it let him investigate as much has he wants as long as he doesnt find any loop holes then i think he will be satisfied, do your best to be a faithful and honest girl and see what happens

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loook no matter wat willl tell you , you will still marry him, i will say, marrrry him

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The guy wants to sentence you to life imprisonment with hard labour run for you life dear !!!

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my dear run for your life. besides is like u r not open to pple around you. whn u have such problem, u share it with ur sisters.

U need a space in dat relationship, it always happens whn the guy is older than the girl too much. so he will like to used dat on you and take advantage as well.

To me past is past but if he insisted on it. just tel him one story like dat simple.

be careful

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For asking a public forum this sort of question goes to show you know deep down that you shouldn't marry him. Marry at your own peril.

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My candid advice is that you probably has done what arouse his suspicion and my question why was the other dude treat him the way he did,that also arouses suspicion too,so IMAO that dude isn't 10% bad,he loves you and his into you,just let him satisfied his curiosity then talk to him.If thats the only problem he has then you don't have a problem with time he will get to trust you.

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pls. baby marry him, because men are hot cake now, do mis this oppt.

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OP, I'm emailing this thread to your bf. Don't worry he won't ask you to marry anymore

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Give him the edited version and remember to leave out the SEX scenes cos na there yawa fit take gas you. And I want to ask you the million dollar question "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING WITH THAT LOSER?"

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i dont think d reason u ve given is enough not to marry him except u dont love him enough. i believe if a guy doesnt display some jealousy then he doesnt really love. just make sure u dont do anythin bad , and communicate well with him ,u will be fine.

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my dear the thing u have to do firstly is prayers, is he the right one for you nd secondly u have to tell him the things u dont like, cos marriage is the greatest decision in life. go gurl,

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hey baby girl,if u love him enuf 2 get married 2 him pls do.like u said he is a 9ce guy.  About ur past relationships,i sincerely hope u talk 2 him about it.Every girl have a past even if its as bad as d devil.I've seen people who get married 2 prostitutes.U might not get a better guy.nd i think he has gud intentions cos he wants to make it work where others have failed.but its up to u girlfriend,d choice is urs to make but if u ask me.if i am in ur shoes,i'll grab it.

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Examine your life, watch your step, keep your hands up and neat, believe me all other things would be added unto you.

Remember, ''other good qualities'', you atleast attest to.

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To me he has not asked for much.You cant find the right partner in life but you try to be the right one.

Everyone telling you to leave him,will not do the ame if they were in ur shoes but wuld look for the way to please their guys.

Make him happy by doing what he wants and see what happens after.

Wishing you the best.

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The handwriting is on the wall. . . .looks to me like he's got trust issues and is over possessive. . .If you don't deal with it now. . .I bet you its gonna be a big issue in the future!

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ha, take am easy now. if this girl was ur sis will u ask her to marry such a pest?

@poster

relationship should be like another heaven on earth. me personally, i dont believe anybody in this worl is worth me scrificing my happiness.

i smell trouble with this guy. ur home will be ur prison. u dont need an insecured guy in ur life. he wants to dump his whole life problem on u! an accuse u of everything he did wrong in his life.

run for ur dear life!

dont marry him if u wnat to be happy

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Women too get wahala,

if you av been dating him and he's not talkin about marriage, u'd complain

if he's not caring, u'd complain,

now he wants to marry u, u'd complain

he checks u up, u'd complain,

he leaves his office to see u, u'd complain.

he buys u cloth, u complain

he doesnt give u money, u'd complain,

the money he gives is too much, u'd complain,

look, my honest advice, don't marry him,

and stop whining here!

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true

but then if you don't have nothing to hide den no problem

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But this guys case is in the extreme and might cause problems later on.

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No body trust anyone. . . we just act like we do.

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I'm not sure why she has to "wait 5 years".

If she's asking if she should marry him, looks like their on the precipice of that decision right now. Ultimately, you have to decide if you are willing to go forward without the immediate support of your parents. Parent's tend to be stubborn (because as we get older, we tend to get set in the ways we want things done) but they usually come around. If you can deal with this, and he can deal with this, as well as handle anything from his family's side when they see that your parent's are not initially on-board, then I'd say go for it.

I think you already know this so I'll just say that I think your decision making process is on the right track.

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Sounds like you are not willing to let go,however it seems difficult holding on,i think you guys have done really well and the only thing i will see as an issue right now is this tribe of a thing.Parents can be very funny at times .

Its worth thinking this through and see if you really haven't got any other thing against this guy and see if your dad is willing to bend.If that the case,then its worth tieing the knot.

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just be a little more patient, you may not need to wait for another year.

good luck

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In that case stay by him. There are ways to "force" parents to agree to such wedding without confronting them. But it would require sacrifice on your path.

I think trust in God is essential.

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In that case stay by him. There are ways to "force" parents to agree to such wedding without confronting them. But it would require sacrifice on your path.

I think trust in God is essential.

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ma man loves me, thats something ive never doubted, he would do any woman proud and he has stuck with me through thick and thin , my dad is saying its got to be my tribe or a person with a lot of money and class, ma man is worth standing up to my dad for, id rather not do it but if that is what its going to come to then i will, thank you all for your advice,i appreciate it,

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ma girl amsky has said it all!

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First you should ask yourself if this guy is worth it.Is he the type that will turn his back on you the moment oppurtunity presents itself? Does he feel the same way about you?

It's not abnormal for you to feel impatient and frustrated at the same time.At 25 i was married for 2yrs with a baby,so i cannot say i have felt a bit of what you are feeling. Do you intend to wait for him till he finishes school before you guys get married?

Have you spoken to your dad and he says he'll not let you marry this guy? The final decision is yours to take,but all the same,there's no harm in waiting if you both really love yourselves.

goodluck

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@poster,what abt your dads stand?is this guy worth your going against your dads wish?

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Well does this guy have the same feeling you have for him too?

Cause it would be pointless u doing all this without your man not having the same feelings.

I dont think u are being materialistic cause there are some times at a certain stage in a girl's life that she wants to date someone who is secured in certain areas of their life, i would do the same.

Girl, maybe u should give this the test of time, am sure it would fall into place.

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truth, be paitent, d best things come to those who wait. u cant c tomoro so dont make your decisions on today's issues. if d problem is his attitude i will ask u to reconsider but if he is good enough for u and there are other things bugging u(money, tribe) then u should make a mistake to leave him.

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