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Should I Move On?

Here's d story: I asked this particular girl out during nysc almost 3yrs ago, She's catholic and i'm protestant. She left to go abroad for masters and i got a job in naija, later resigned and went in for masters, the issue is i've never gotten any formal response since i made my request. I kept communication, we talk on phone, chat, sometimes she spends almost 1hr on the phone calling each other.

We've re-nited in naija during breaks, and each time i had the opportunity to ask face to face i keep getting the response dat suggested to me dat she hadn't made up her mind. I'm normally not a patient person but i decided to be very patient wt dis lady coz i love her, and i kept telling her dis verbally and through my actions, I must admit dat she showed some luv too, but i couldnt get over the fraustration of not knowing whether i was wasting my time wt her or not. We had some quarels as people in r/shp do and they were resolved. However lately the quarels were so intense, everytime we communicated there was almost always an issue dat led to quarel, So i decided not to call her for about 3wks, It wasnt easy but i stuck to my guns, During this period, she didnt call either. She sent me emails however, which i responded to. In none of the emails did she complain about my lack of calls. She was to return to Naija at the end of the 3rd week.

I decided to call her. My calls repeatedly went to voice mail, I assumed she'd returned to naija but i want sure, so i called up her sister who did not give me a definite answer, i had to search for her niaija number which i had stored in a diary. Lo and behold when i called, d girl i loved had returned and refused to call, to cut the long story short, i arranged a meeting for both of us where she complained that i broke her heart, she said she planned to call me out of christain virtues not out of love because i didnt show love by not calling for those 3wks, dat she had no shoulders to lean on during her trying times cos she was rounding up her msc and the thesis and part time job she had were running her crazy, All these she said almost sobbing, She was even insinuating dat i had gotten another woman, <this is d same girl dat constantly kept me in suspense worrying about another woman?> the truth however is dat i wasnt emotionally involved with another lady,

I understood dat she loved me cos she cried while narrating how her heart burned during my period of no communication. That solved, we went unto other issues days later, I made her know dat i was willing to marry in a catholic church b/c dat was what her Dad(who is a night in the catholic church) wanted. but i'd prefer we both go to d same church after marriage, dat i wasnt prepared to raise my children catholic, She remained adamant dat she wasnt changing and complaining dat i dont love her etc, I was resolute, and dat was it, the sobbing stuff started again and she asked if it was Over btw both of us. I couldnt get myself to say dat, She called me from the airport b4 boarding her flight back abroad to tell me in an emotion laden voice dat if it makes me feel better, she love's me!! . This is the first time she eva sed dat since i asked her out.-- She's gone back abroad and sed she's going back wt d notion dat its ended between us!

SHOULD I JUST MOVE ON, what do u think

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33 answers

Can you serve us with the story of how you guys got to this point?

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omo ur english no get mate!!!!

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wrong doings? It depends. You did not say what the nature of her offenses were. If it bothers on infidelity, I'd say move on cos from her attitude, she probably aint going to change with time. So save yourself more heartaches

I'd also say give more info so people can offer more constructive advice.

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the body of ur topic is bereft of meaning

from ur topic ill say no,

stay and wait for her,

u have nothing better to do anyway

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Ifeleke, i dont get u pls.

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Oscar,

Re-adjust your Thread,your story is bereft of meaning.

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if you do have any doubts about a relationship whatsoever; move on. because if you don't, your heart will be on the line. there are amazing people out there that can make you feel you again and see life and a diffrent way.

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hmmm what a story, i think the advice from various respondents are spot on

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@ hotstepper

if a man wants to marry, he would have to o the wedding in the girl's church

cos that's where he's marrying her from then afterwards he takes her to his own church.

that's the normal thing.

@ poster

u try no be small, for the past three yrs u've been chasing shadows, eyah sorry ohh

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why should the wedding be done in his own church,as he married her yet?the wedding should be done in her church ,cos the man is marrying her from that church to his

there is nothing like tribe being involved here,hausa oooo, yoruba ooooo,igbo ooooo almost all of them marry in the girls church,dats how its supposed to be

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which igboland,the one i am from or the one u r from, my dear speak for your side alone,i know u r from anambara, but two of my sisters got married to anambra men and it was done in my fathers church

Every woman i know,friends and so on all got married in their church and then later changed to their husbands church

the wedding is done in the girls church,afterwhich she changes to the mans church

be it traditional or wedding it is all done in the girls "fathers" church or her own church

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Love is Love only when is mutually proffered and respected with room for compromises any other thing aside that is Selfishness.

So Poster,

Move On with your Life.

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@ poster, move on. I've been in this kind of relationship before. At the end, there was nothing to show for it. I thank God for the move I made by leaving her. Today I'm happier & have a wonderful woman who'd give her life for me.

She is very tactical if you take a real survey on the goings so far. She wants to frustrate you out as she doesn't want it to seem she was the one that ended it. Pls don't fall for the crocodile tears, it didn't go beyond the eyes that shaded it. I can imagine how long she recited the act to put up prior to you guys meeting after you found out she was in naija? I'd advice you quit wasting ur time any further. From all pointers, if you don't do it yourself, she'll eventually do it; dump you.

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@touchmeder , maybe the part of Nigeria (if u r 4rom dere) that u from from. In igboland, u wed in a man's church, only traditional marriage is done at da compound of the woman

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Well written. Easy to read short story.

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Well Love is reciprocal. "DO ME I DO YOU"

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See what religion causes.

I once had a girl like that who told me, if I was to marry her, I had to become a catholic. I told her yes I would then, but in my heart of heart, I knew I was not doing anything of such.

@ Poster,

Move on with your life. No point sitting on this pseudo relationship which obviously has been a mirage and would continually be so.

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Wetin,

Make she wait for catholic. until when e go de pray for olumba olumba person to come marry her. *sighs*

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Too much drama, move on jare. I don't think she is serious. Don't waste your time, just forget about her.

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@ poster,

move on jare. . . . not g'onna be easy, but draw inspiration from the fact that u was able to shenk here 4 3wks without calling!

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dont marry sum1 in a church which is not urs, if they want u to marry their daugther, the wedding should be at ur own church. what happens wen u get married and she refuses to go 2 ur church because after all, u married her in her church so why cant u guys go 2 da church. I dont know why they alwayz use da excuse of being a nite.

My mother was da 1st daugther of a nigth in a Roman Catholic church and she got married to my dad who is an Anglican,

there shouldnt be an excuses and they should be open minded

b/w, da gurl in question is confused and probably doing dat cuz she knows u r over in love with her, shine ur eyes and move on b4 its 2 late as she calls u and tells u shez married, it happened 2 one of my male friends

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all we guys wey dey halla move on,

its not that easy oooh.

ur mind sure wants to move on but men, ur body no dey go anywhere.

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Bro,be the man and move on

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@crackles,

thats funny bro,

@post,

guy if u can't agree on simple church issue, nah the amount of pikin nah him una go agree on?

sit on a sofa like u was told.

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Poster

Buy a sofa and sit on it!

Dont move at all OK!

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then stop begging her,stop being the one wanting this relationship to work out well

she said shes going back wt the notion dat its ended btw u two,then leave it so,dont call her,let her be

she has a lot of growing up to do

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too much drama. . .move on!

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I would rather you m0ve on wit your lyf koz there're many fishes in the water if and only IF u dont want her parents to be an interference in ur family issues when u must have gotten married,cheers!

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