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Should I Still Give Despite His Nonchallancy?

Hello Nlanders,

   Pls, i need adv from wise people in here, 

My story goes like this, i reside in Texas, have a Nigerian guy i'm dating, he lives in Nigeria, we met a year back but we haven't seen, but i truly love him. I have never for once cheated on him despite the distance. At first, he was so good to me, so caring, but things changed suddenly, he became so harsh and always complain that i nag too much. I am this generous type, have given him lots of gifts when we were in good terms, 

I noticed he is not real, cus he barely call me, i always do the calling, i have complained times without no, still he doesn't return my calls, but he always tell me he loves me. There was a time i added his friends on facebook, he told me point blank that i was getting too close for his comfort, we argued about it but later we settled and he said i hurt him that was why he told me that then.

Now, i'm thinking of sending him some stuffs, he didn't request for it though, and i'm not doing it to buy love either, (pple shouldn't get me wrong). I just think my true love deserves good things, and everytime i see nice stuffs, i feel like getting for my siblings as well as him.

My question is, should i continue to be nice to him, despite that he is not so much commited and for the fact that we have not met before? If yes, don't you think he would take my generous act for granted?

Pls, no harsh words,

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24 answers

my mom once gave me the greatest advise in the world

"Never get serious in a marriage/relationship except if your man loves you more than you love him"

sweety keep that with you all the time

the other replies have answered your question

its left for you to take it or leave it

p.s he keeps coming back to you because of the gifts

who doesnt like awoof!

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hi mehn,how can i check my 2009 jamb result?

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Girls let me let you in on a secret. It is actually true what our mothers told us. That when a man loves you he will move mountains to make everything right with you. Now its up to you to believe this.

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guess am an expensive maga then, fink maga n mugun have same meaning, but on the othersyde, wot cld a guy benefited from an ordinary greeting card n 3boxers,  I gve freely to him, only wot i cld afford, hv nvr given him money nor something too xpensive, the boxers i sent him cost me less than 55dollars, n even now was only finking of sending him perfume. it's a designer perf but not too xpensive (15dollars), NOT ANYMORE THOUGH, this small amount won't make him neither wud it make me poorer.

I think ones' true lurv deserves gud thgs, but guys of nowadays r jst full of shits, they tk ladies generousity for granted, the point  i'm learning  from guys advices in here is that women shd not be so nice to men during courtship to the extent of giving gifts, if i'm not misquoting you, but nvr forget dat i said he nvr asked for it, but i did give in my own will, n it was nvr bcus i wanted to seek his attention. but this has been my way of life.

Thank you all anywayc, I shall stop giving!!!

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Maga or Mugun, what difference does it make, you are fully acting in both capacities.

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Mr Kpolli, fink u read my post very well, the thread was opened for wise pple only,  n don't eva conclude on wot i just brievd here, u shd knw from my name dat am 2wise4real lolzzzzzzzz,  I sent him only designer boxers n a greeting card as a present on his birthday, n my birthday had passed before we met, though it's on d way again, i thot someone would ask me what kinda gifts i sent him, i've never given him any tangible thing that  could make him n never would i do that until when i'm convince enough, u can now differentiate between maga n mugun.

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^^^^^^^^^^^

leave her o n she go dey call me mumu,

pls buy n send to him o, the jazzman has already declared it, u must oblige

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u've become what yahoo boys call MAGA!!!!!

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I agree you should invest more in ur plane ticket. Cos distance is always a barrier in a relationship. Have a pal whom love this girl but anytime she travels out they quarrel break up, make up. But anytime she's in nigeria wow i dey jealouse their love

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hi dear hyow are you doing

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thanx, got u rite nw,

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A cow does not know d value of it's tail until it's cut off, he wouldn't know what he stands to lose until it happens.  However, i guess dis ur guy is cute, and if so is either someone is on his track back home or he's unneccessarily on someone's.

4rm ur manner of write-up i can see that u are a very shy and tender gal.

I advice u to adhere to dis guy's below;

it doesnt sound like dis guy is into you as much as you are bbz

why not sort out your issues before sending him stuff so dat in the end you would not start crying foul dat he scammed you

know where you stand in his life

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giving and giving to a person who doesn't give a crap about you is called tricking. You are tricking a way your money on someone who could careless. But if you have money and you dont feel the lose then it aint tricking cause you gat it.

honestly it's just a music lyric that a rapper said regarding spending money on a woman who he isn't sure likes him

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@poster

IMHO there is absolutely nothing wrong with you giving out of your own free will.

as for the "misunderstanding" you guys have, it could be anything, let alone the outcome of long distance relationship BUT i think that you should invest that money into something more valuable for your relationship: A PLANE TICKET.

since you guys have never met, i would rather suggest that you make the trip to go and see him at last (surprise visit as Deniyor suggested is even better)and make sure that everything is RIGHT before investing on something as volatile as what you guys have.

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I believe you've heard all you need to hear by now

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thanx Iceugwa, i've been doing that n it works, he keeps coming whenever i ignore him

@Isioku, if u nvr blvd or xperienced luv without sight b4, can boldly tell u, it exists,  mind u  luv cn come in different colours, i hv guys here that r disturbing me, but i nvr hv any feelings for them, cus i truly love him, he mite not feel d same way though, but forget abt how we met, that's not the issue on ground. thnx anyways for your piece of adv.

@googles, thnx,  it was well said, think i jst hv to slam d brake as Isioku hv said n sees wot happens nxt.

@Iice, i wasn't n still aint searching for anything, don't get me wrong, i really love him though, but he cld change due to bad influence cus he wasn't like dis b4. i'm sure if he comes here to seek for adv that he has a gurl he is dating n nvr met her before, you would adv him nvr to blv in luv without sight ofwhich it exists, rarely though,

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My dear, its obvious ds guy isn't into you as much as you are into him. Nothing can be as painful as unrequited love. I will advise that you cut him some space,stop calls ,sms,gifts etc and secondly don't have high expectation about ds relatioship okk. U are playing the guy's role and I smell some deep hurt for you in the future,if you don't allow things to balance out now!

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You know wat. To get his love back, behave as he behaves to you, if he doesnt call dont call, if he doesnt send gifts dont send either, we call this "payin back in once coin" or " given one his medicine"

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Save the money, go pay him a surprise visit.

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Babe, love Urself a little, just a little more and U won't be having this problems.

U are seeing the signs but Ur not heeding them.

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People are usually nice when in good terms. The true test is when they are not in good terms. Generous indeed. Glorification glorified.

Anyhoo, sounds like you are not getting what you want. So you go searching for what you want till you find it.

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@ 2nice4real, i must admit that ur story sounds too incredible to be believable. It sounds like a make-believe, really. If indeed this story is true, as u want us believe ( i am merely suspending my disbelief), then you surely need a remedy, and fast. the most conspicuous fact from your story is that u have never seen this guy since you guys met (i want to assume u met over the net or any other electronic medium). The question that should normally follow is, why then did you give your heart to a man u never met physically. To cut out the flakes, u need to review ur commitment to that relationship. And by this i mean apply the brakes! i don't know the little things that transpired between both of you but the fact is that you are over there and he is down here. he is probably milking you, and his sudden behavior could be a ploy to make you part with some valuables knowing fully well that u are desperate to keep the relationship. shine your eyes and wake up, my friend. Call his bluff and stop being blinded by a man u've never met.

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it doesnt sound like dis guy is into you as much as you are bbz

why not sort out your issues before sending him stuff so dat in the end you would not start crying foul dat he scammed you

know where you stand in his life

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@ Poster ; N-O!

You've been giving him gifts all this time. Chill! See how it goes first before sending more presents.

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