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Should I Tell Her and How Would She Feel?

A little about myself before going into the detail.

I am a guy who like meeting people and show concern for whatever they might be passing through. This has gone a long way in my rtp with my colleague. And my boss(a woman) know that most of my subordinate are loyal to me reason she does not know . And I hope this is not what is putting me into this trouble I am now.

The Story. There was this friend of my boss a single mother of one (a daughter), she comes to our office frequently to visit her friend(my boss) because she is into biz. Even her daughter do come to our office once in a while during her break. So one day my bos got me introduced to this friend of hers and since then any time she is around she do stop at my desk to greet and I respond by asking after her family and everybody(Note, then I have not discover her that she is a single mother). Man before I know what is happening I have become her friend first, a friend to her daughter then the mother. The small daughter often give me a call from their house and refers to me has uncle , Any time she travel she will surely come back with something for me. I got to know her status May(5) last year when her daughter inviter me for her birthday, and my problem started from then. I went to the birthday with my girl from there she got to know her. She had a nice time with my guy and they exchange their phnoe no. All this while I do not know her mobile no and neiher did I give her little daughter mine. She only talks to me using office line. As am writing this she has became a good friend of my girl who does not stay here in Lagos(she is at Ilorin only comes around once in a while).

Sometimes in July she invite me for a launch on account that her daughter wanted to see me which I did. It was during this launch time I got to know her because it was like she is looking for somebody to pour her heart to. In my own little way I give the advice I could and encourage her to get marry again.

Beginning of the trouble. During their long vac. Her daughter comes to my office on average of twice in a week. That same period she (daughter) got to know my house because she keep on telling me she wanted to come to my house. On the weekend she was going back to school, she was at my place on sat and she wish I should see her to school on Sunday and I grant the wish.

The Bomb Shell. [/b]After dropping her at school I have to drop the mother in her house(festac) before proceeding to mine. On getting their, she ask me that there is something for me. She gave it to me but to my supprise I was lost with words when she said she want to make a request and the request turn out to be:she want me to give her a baby. Initially I thought it was a joke but when I saw the seriousness in her I politely turn down the offer but my biggest surprise came when I saw her with tear on her knee pleading that I should just think of it. Since then I have been avoiding her which also cause me to be avoiding the little girl who is now looking miserable.

[b]The problem This year my boss first notice that am avoiding her friend’s daughter and her friend. She come me and I deny avoiding them but the friend still keep on pestering me on the issue. Recently I come to observe that is like my boss is aware of what the matter is but did not ask me and her friend keep on trying which is becoming irritating and disturbing. At this juncture I let u know that my boss is indifference to the issue if I could go ahead and make her friend happy who does not want an husband but want a baby boy preferably from me.

Area of advices: Shd I tell my girl because she n this woman still talk from time to time? How would she fill if I tell her because we are planning to get marry soon and I do not want to haunt her? Then how should I tell her because I did not know wht her rxtn will be?

2.to the guy should i give her a baby to clear the whole mess?

3. How should I make myself clear to this woman that is not going to affect my rtp with my boss and consequently my job?

4. The little girl want my friendship which I have been denying her because of her mum action. Should I tell her why am avoiding her because she knows that and if I do how would she fell?. Again I do not like the way because the thing keep on haunting her?

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10 answers

Now let me ask you my own questions

1. How do you think a girl you wanna marry will take such news if you tell her?

2. Do you think if you're girlfriend allows you, and you eventually get married that the both of you will live happily

3. Do you think that your problems will be over if you give her a baby?

4. Do you think she's getting only one baby from you?

5. Has it occured to you that someday the baby will find out who its father is?

6. What makes you think she'll have a boy if the both of you Reproduce?

7. Has she told you what killed her husband?

8. How old is her daughter?

The Questions are too many, I can't ask all of them

Facts

1. If you tell your girlfriend, she'll not allow you and if she does then she doesn't love you.

2. No girl would want to share the man she loves with another woman.

3. Unless you are willing to marry the woman and become the step father of her daughter, do not have sex with her.

4. If you do it behind your girlfriend your conscience will never let you rest

5. That woman does not only want a baby, she wants her sexual needs attended to, she wants to be sexually satisfied in other words she wants a sexual partner.

6. You'll be nothing but her Sugar boy and she'll be your sugar mummy.

7. If you have sex with her now, she'll ask for it in the future when you're married to your girlfriend and if you don't give it to her then she'll blackmail you since she even has your girlfriend's number

8. If you do it now she'll take control of you and you'll be her toy

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hey man i hope this is not a make up story,well if its true,jst tell her CAPITAL NO

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Quite an interesting thread.

Don't burden the little girl with her mom's baggage, just be friends but withdraw yourself gradually from them.

don't ruin ur own relationship by giving in to the woman o. there are consequences for every action u take, some may haunt you for a long time to come.

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Quite interesting story, u might wanna read it oh!

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well you have to be very very very careful in this situation because for a woman to say he needed a baby from you its alot!

@ is she saying you will father the baby or not?

@ or are you trying to consider her because she's got some cash (just asking)

@ what about your lovely girlfriend, how would she feel knowing that you impregnated the so called aunt?

@ about the little girl, distance will heal her heart!

@ do you love the single mother?

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i just saw this thread now and i thought to myself " how unusual for nairalanders not to respond by giving advise to a member who seriously needs it" hmmmm i wonder what happened.

anyway let me say this and i hope its not coming late,

please do not do it.

why?

one does not go around making babies with people just like that. a baby with her(in our soceity) will tie you to her. you automatically become her husband, so to speak.(unless thats what you want)

if you do not have any feelings for the woman and do not want to travel down that path please tell her an emphatic NO

you can also discuss the issue with your boss and make your stance clearly known to her. tell her to make her friend understand. prevail upon her to advice her friend to pray hard for her right partner.

you dont have to involve the little girl in this because i assume she's too young to handle such issues.

you can also discuss it with your fiancee, but you must be convincing that you have no intention whatsoever of granting the woman's wish.

i wish u the best.

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well,sound simple! Any way I have made up my mind to tell my girl. As to the woman i have made myself clear to her several time that iam not interested but she keep on irritating me so, i could not imagin how far she could go on this.

Where am having problem is her friend (my boss who appraise me at work) who is not looking at the issue from my side of view but just want to make her friend happy. I just need advice on the best way to handle the issue so that my Job will not be affected.

Take for instance in one of my discussion with my boss she made me to realise that she could do anything within her power to make her friend happy.

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simple, tell your friend and tell the woman you are not interested, itz as simple as that.

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Problem shared is problem solved. Am saying a big thank u for your contribution here. They are all usefull. Am almost over the matter now. And i can now move on. Thanks for the good people of nairaland

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