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Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me?

Maybe you think that I'm crazy, I'm wondering if I should tell his wife that he is having an affair with me for 2 months!

He said that he used to be a well-recognized honest husband.  He has rejected lots of opportunities during his 6-year marriage.  However, he is studying at school now in order to achieve a higher standard of life, he has no idea why he falls for me that much.

I have no idea, either.  I haven't casted any charm on him before.  It was just a very common occaoccasiont he offered me a ride to somewhere, and then, when we arrived at that place, he confessed that he felt a strong connection between us: all he wanna do was to kiss me and have sex with me right away.

Since we are classmates, we do want to keep professional relationship when we first talked about this issue.  But, whenever we have any chance to study together, he can't help to cool down his impulsiveness to get in "touch" with me, then it becomes the real touching, and then we have MouthAction, but we never kissed! ,  I really love the way he touches me.

Now I found that I am in a dilemma that I am in love with him.  On one hand, I know it's not good to keep him around because he is married, and he wants to get out of the whimsical situation as well, it's just he doesn't have a strong determination to achieve it.  We've been discussed it for a month.  On the other hand, I do want to be his lover or partner forever because we've experienced lots of real exposivelexplosivelyfessional teamwork results.  I AM the right person to help everything for him, and he is relied on my help for school works now as well.

He once said he LOVES independent woman like me, and he complaint a bit about his wife's dependency.  But right after that, he yelled, "I still love her!"

In my heart, I know no matter how much I love him, I may not be his wife in the future because he is a faithful husband, at least he thinks so.  But he still dares not to tell his wife about this affair to keep his honesty records.  He just wanted to end it quietly - but the fact has proved that as long as he wants to keep friendship with me, he can't get out of the situation clean.  He said it's the only time he cheated on his wife.  He now cannot lecture other people cheating is not a good thing in the marriage. In other words, the only way to have him get out of this trouble relationship is to let the wife know. (I can't believe I say it, I still love him in a romantic way.)

I do think either he or I should tell the wife the truth.  I know he really doesn't have the guts to tell the truth.  Should I tell her, should I?

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61 answers

u dont have sense i swear. shame no de catch u

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Just threaten him with telling his wife and back off from him.

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No need askin this question. There are two things involved. If you want the man's marriage to work, them don't tell his wife just back out but if you want to be his wife, tell the wife. But i advice you don't cos what God has joined together let no man put asunder. Pls rate the marriage and back out then telling the wife

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I'm sure if u were in her shoe,you wont like it either.this is what is called CHEATING, i beg u, go remove the CHARM 4 where you keep am before my guy do something silly becos of you, i'm sure you understand.

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Errr, let me put it like this

1) he's not going to marry you even if he leaves his wife

2) If you are a young girl you are spoiling your chances

3) Karma: do you really want someone else doing this with your husband when you get married

4) Its just wrong to be with a married man. Havnt you seen OBSESSED??

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What has happened has happened.

1) The guy is using you to satisfy his needs. That is all. Never confuse that he loves you. He lusts after you.

2) The law of Karma is a bad thing. Even if you had gotten him you would never have trusted him and he would never have trusted you.

3) I wish you a better life from now on.

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Na waoo 4 girls, tell her and receive your baptism of acid and fire, better run for your life.

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@ 4 ur info wife's have wised up these days, they know ur only aim is split them so u can smoothed in, so dy'd rather hang in n let u be out there as a mistress/matterass to sleep on,, thats what u really are n when he's tired he drop ur sorry Bottom n move on, d wife still remains d wife get it Dam

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Plesa its not an achievement to date a married man.Leave d 'poor' woman's husband alone.What God has joined 2geda don't b d one 2 put asunder.Please think about the moral implication of what you're doin.Put yourself in that woman"s shoe nd see what it feels like.You can be rest assured that you're in lust and not love.He should be guilty and go back to his wife with remorse and she 'll 4giv him.You were not there when he married her.They should know how best to settle their differences.Just keep cool nd your man will surely come.

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@poster "what God has joined let no man put asunder" telling his wife is not a good idea. having an affair with a married man is not good, obviously dats d way ur own husband will be snatched by other girls. Dats d way it is. All d best

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please go ahead and tell him, however, make sure u have bought 2 plots for your burial and the other party you cheating with.

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what are u doin with somebodys husband? where in planet earth are u sef? your profile reads Canada! are you in that part of canada that French is the lingua? edit your posts abeg.

Leave the man alone b4 something bad happens to you

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Nnee,

I am not Igbo but i at think you sum it up nicely. the woman need shrink to examine her medula oblaganta.

You have had your fun, and if you are desperate look elsewhere because you are looking in the wrong places.

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u don read the way they beat Jesus in the bible b4, why u dey use your own hand dey find trouble by your self. u have enjoy what u want to enjoy. abi the thing never do u . person husband u want him as your own man, is not good at all, just delete him form you heart,

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@spoilt,

Does she have to ask for our opinion on whther she is right or wrong b4 u can counsel her out of her confusion?

Your comment is simplistic and reminds me of the madman from one Igbo village who said to a crowd gathered nearby "I know what I am doing,its what is doing me that I cant understand" If you are not Igbo,ask any Igbo friend to interprete this statement literallily for u,in Igbo language.Does the fact that the madman says he knows what he is doing confirm that it is so? Of course,the answer is capital NO!! So u can extrapolate this e.g to the case on ground.

Mark u,I havent said the poser is mad pls.I am only saying that help should be rendered where necessary,whether solicited for or not.

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Here comes Nigerians again and their hypocrisy.90%(CONSERVATIVE FIGURE) of those ladies calling this woman a home wrecker,husband snatcher etc,have slept with married men at one time or the other, in their lives.I can swear to that.

Rather than calling names I think people should just give their honest advise to help a troubled lady out of her troubles.The things of love and lust are not planned.If you are experienced enough,u will agree with me.So, I think this woman needs prayers and constructive counsel to deliver her.

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Quick to defend? I dont think you saw these parts.

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Anyone who finds this insultive has no sense in their head. simple

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No need to get insultive. When a woman who is dating a married man gets so bold that she wants to call wifey and report the deed then she is saying she's ready to take whatever is coming her way. abi? It only goes to show you how people truly feel about brazen mistresses!

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@ poster

Teling the wife wasn't the best thing to do. I myself is not someone to believe in gossips without visible evidence.

I read thorough your post and for what i have understood, BOTH OF YOU THINK THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP HIM FROM CHEATING.

Well, if that be the case, let him do it himself.

You don't owe the woman any type of explanation.

He is the one to pay for his lies!

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HEY Y'ALL INSULTING THE POOR GIRL, WHERE HAVE YOU LEFT THE HUSBAND?

silly PEOPLE! HOW CAN You PUT THE ENTIRE BLAME OF A RELATIONSHIP ON HER ALONE?

WHAT ABOUT THE MAN?

IS SHE THE ONE WHO PROMISED FAITHFULNESS TO THE WIFE?

IS SHE THE ONE WHO PROMISED FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE?

NO!

SO CUT THE CRAP.

IF THERE IS ANYONE TO BLAME, THAT'S THE MAN.

HE IS NO WAY JUSTIFIED FOR HIS DEEDS.

YOU PEOPLE DIDGUST ME. ALWAYS TRYING TO PUSH THE BLAME ON THE WEAKEST PART.

THE GIRL OWES THE WIFE NO REGARDS AS FAR AS SHE IS CONCERNED BECAUSE SHE IS NOT THE ONE MARRIED TO HER.

INSTEAD OF YOU TO BE ADVOCATING AGAINST CHEATING HUSBANDS, YOU PREFER TO ACCUSE THE PERSON THEY CHEAT WITH.

YOU PEOPLE HAVE GOT YOUR BRAINS BLOCKED.

AS IF AFTER HE IS DONE WITH HER, HE'LL STOP CHEATING.

STOP CONCENTRATING ON THE WRONG PERSON AND ADMIT THAT THE MAN IS 90% AT FAULT.

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some women are so silly for the things you all do to each other. you all sit here and complain about the evils that men do but you all destroy each other on a daily basis.

Well i don't know about Nigeria but in this age of caller id and reverse call trace some chick who's gangster would roll up on you and blow your head off for that poo you pulled. i can't wait to hear that the guy slapped the poo outta you for that mess too.

some men do evil to women but some women gosh they revel in doing evil to other women

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What are about the man? No one seems to want to talk about him. What if he contracts a STD and takes it home to his wife. Please tell the wife and break up the relationship.

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What are about the man? No one seems to want to talk about him. What if he contracts a STD and takes it home to his wife. Please tell the wife and break up the relationship.

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hi girl, guess you would be doing more harm than good telling his wife. just break this whole stuff before it breaks you. all the best

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should he tell your boyfriend or husband that he is having an affair with u - he is digging your hole.

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@ poster,

Are you living in the same Nigeria where I was born? You want to tell a woman (a nigerian woman) her husband's cheating on her WITH YOU (wonders shall never end). She'll kill you, cut you into pieces, use ur body parts to cook egusi soup and serve it to her husband. Good luck!

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The only thing this this selfish man is interested in is letting his rocks off - eating his cake and having it. Don't bother telling his wife as it will get you nowhere. Just cut your loses and move on!

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Girls can be so silly. Am not a saint but i always pray to God not to let me to be in any siuation dat will force me to ve an affair wit a married man. Ure so senseless

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i would tell her if i were u but do u think shes gonna believe u just drop d hint 2 her but dont suggest anything just say u just tryin 2 look out 4 her cuz u dont want her gettin hurt i mean she has a right 2 know but shes gonna b hurt if she knows he's cheatin on her if u dont tell her its jut gonna make the isuue worse in it just drop d hint

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Abi woooooooooo

tell her abeg.

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What a Dam!!

You knew fine well this guy was married but this did not stop you.

I am a firm believer of what goes around comes around, and girl you will regret the day you ever did this.

Dont do to people what you wouldnt want done to you!

Grow up girl!

NosillA

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i am wit u seun,

jaree go fine your man abeg.

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Go and tell his wife so that the frustrated woman will scratch your pusy eye out of the sucket. Shameless woman!

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@TESHA THANKS FOR THE GREAT ADVICE, I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THE TRUTH, COZ NOW THERE IS ALSO THIS MARRIED MAN WHO IS AFTER ME, SAID THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, BUT I WAS TOO AFRAID, ALWAYS AVOIDED THE DEMN MAN.

but he is still after me, but i cant do it, cos i know if am married one-day wouldn't want another woman to play with my family - husband.

I never gave in, thanks though for the strong message.

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@ TEASEME2 - Original African, Proudly Nigeria

If u had problems reading wat she wrote pls consult a dibia

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This is the only response i have for you ,

MADARU MALO AH

MADARU MALO

KOMA DALE ONILE RU MADARU MALO

cHERRS mate

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@dynamo2000 - Brother, I see an unpleasant pattern here. My

questions are always the constructive kind of

questions, at least to me.

Why do girls always get attracted to men known to be married and probably with kids?

But in the context of this dicussion, really i place no blame on d man. D girl really needs to check herself

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@ Tesha - Thanx 4 ur lecture. We hope it applies to all asslikewhoa girls.

Da Brodas Advocate

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inlovepda

Honey,

First let me say this. Respect yourself enough to not allow this man to have the best of both worlds. This guy is not worth it.

You say you are in love with him, I beg to differ. I think you are in lust with him. I think you find his status intriguing. You know, I Know he is married and has committed himself to someone else but I just GOT to have him. Having what you know you shouldn't. To some its enjoyment.

Why tell his wife? Do you think he is going to leave his wife, NO. I don't buy all this stuff about you being the first he's cheated with. It is a lie. That man is a cheater and he didn't and will not tell his wife, because like he told you He still loves her.

And about being his friend girl, walk away while you still can. If not, you are going to always be is stash on the side. I am not trying to be mean, but he is playing a game on you. He is doing his best to keep you in this position, 1) you are friends, therefore, you shouldn't be tripping about a relationship 2)that he is a honest guy, you know you should continue to sleep with him because his wife is so needy. Allowing yourself to be stuck in the above positions is not cool.

He'll continue to go on with his life. Have babies and etc. You will be the one cheated.

I am a married woman so I may be a little harsh,,,but above all I am a woman. All a married man can do for me is go home to his wife. Wife the needy, the one I'm not even sleeping with, the one I am going to leave her, I'm just there for the kids, All lies.

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he is having his cake and eating it.be strong and walk away from him.

, he relies on you for school work!! hmmmm.dodgy!( the thread started in feb.i hope it's sorted now)

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Babe. U b winch oh.real one only say u dey fly for afternoon dat na were ur own take different

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This is d queen of d damed @ work.

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women at it again! na wa

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You've had ur fun. Don't spoil it for him nooww.

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oh my god, how old are u. do u tink she will leave her husband 4 u.go get ur own man,remove ur eyes from da innocent women husband/and while u are lookin 4 ur man look 4 d umarried ones

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Silly girl he is not going to leave his wife for you.  Do you think by telling her he's going to be particularly fond of you.  You have to realize that your are  simply some "good Bottom" on the side.  He probably gives you some money and buy you things. Don't make his miserable because you are riding her husband and think he is going to marry you. silly girl.

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What is your aims after telling his wife,i pity you,

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Sure you should. Afterall the man belongs to you. The other woman is merely his wife, you know.

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why would you want to tell his wife? aint you suppose to having an affair with him?

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