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Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back?

Hello people, just came across this site and thot you guys might be able to help me. My ex boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. He actually said we should break up and even though i understood where he was coming from(we had drifted apart), i was very hurt. Recently, just when i thought i was getting over him, i've started thinking about him alot. I really do miss him. We don't live in the same town and yesterday i came up with a plan. I would outlinethe plan below but i need u guys to tell me whether i should carry out the plan. Or maybe some of u(esp guys) can tell me what to do. Thanks.

Plan: Go to his town, he'll know am coming but he won't know its just to see him. Tell him how i feel but stop short of asking him that we should get back together. Tell him i don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me but i felt the need to let him know how i feel. Then tell him i came from my town to tell him that and pack my load and leave. What do you guys think? Should i tell him or keep it to myself?

For the guys: What would you think if an ex told you how she felt?

Thanks for your help.

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83 answers

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Is DR OGBARI you can email him if you need his

assistance in your relationship,I promise you.your

problems will be solve immediately.After being in

relationship with mike for seven years, He left me,

i did every thing possible to bring him back back

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refused until I explained my problem to someone

online and she suggested that I should rather mail

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bring him back but I am the type that never

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mailed the spell caster, he told me there was no

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days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the

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me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all

he said was that he was so sorry for everything

that happened,that he wanted to return to me, that

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Don't go, it will still end disastrously and u will end up hurting d second time. Its ur mindset, just give it time, it will clear from ur head.

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Gurl i feel your pain, once he told you to break up means he is less interested. Keep to yourself and hurt only inside never show it, dress well and look good and move on, once he knows u dnt care he will come back crawling but by then you would have moved on

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[hello, well i will like you to know that, no one is the wisest, but there are men with ideals, what i am trying to say is that in this case, u really need advice, well sometime ago i was also almost the same condition as urs, but a guy help me out with ideals etc, but now i am living happilly with my partner, well for advice and counselling dmark9397@gmail.com i wish you good luck

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please dont go you have to be a strong woman even though its not easy,he might have his reasons for d quit,dont trade ur heart for sum1 dat doesnt deserve it,and beside if u can stay a week without him dat means u can do without him forever gudluck

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Tell ur ex u want him bck,Gosh r u mad,if he really liked u y did he make u his ex? Abi him dick sweet like dat,my dear u need to grow up n let d past be past

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girl, i feel wat u r going through cos i'm presently in a similar circumstance.my ex & I broke up bc of family issues, his family didnt approve of his marryg me so he walked away wout a word,i was so angry i hated him & tried to move on hoping he would come back to me some day cos we really loved each other bt he never did instead i heard of getting married it was dawned on

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To risk loving is to risk been hurt. Be brave and tell him how u feel. Don't let pride deprive you of loving and been loved. If he accepts youback ur lucky if he doesn't know that You did ur best and then achieve closure and let it go.

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^smh

a thread of 2006 thats what this one is responding to

seriously shakin my head!

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What I think u should not go coz this will hurt u again. Just take a step forward , don't look behind and find another man .

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Girl if u are my sista i wil desista u immediately read dis. did he use french to say let call it a brake. wake up and bounce back to life at least u where not born together so learn how to respect his feelings. and don't give urself heart brake part2

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There would be nothing wrong in telling your ex that you want him back.  Men sometimes like to hear it from the girl's own mouth as they are not fond of mind reading, tell it sincerely through words if there are opportunities and through body language. It just depends on how you do it, girl. Don't make him feel as if your whole life depends on him. It will just scare him away.

Try visiting http://www.rebuildyourrelationship.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back.html, you'll learn a lot from it.

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sorry i am not a guy, but i have been in a similar predicament one too many times. it would be a good idea to tell him about your feeling provided he feels the same way, and that it was on the ground of insecurity on his part, which was as a result of ur drifting off. however, if that does not happen to be the case ( as we know some man lie to get what they want, again i am sorry to all the genuin guys out there) he is likely to play along with you, a situation that would lead to to getting more hurt than you are now. i still strongly believe in 'let the guy go, if he loves you he will be back for you', and if not as time goes on the heartach soon heal. on that note, i wish the very best with whatever action you decide to take.

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I won't allow you going to see him, because i know we guys, he will agree to come back but play with your heart. believe me.

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I really hate 2 rain on ur parade, but take it 4rm someone who knws, a guy wld not appreciate u just turnin up unannounced. If u intend 2 c him, by all means let him knw.

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abeg bone him jare, you wanna make yourself vulnerable to some loser who could not see your worth or appreciate you. thats a don't do girl

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Hey girl, you can listen to a lot of people telling not to make the move, my advice is don't allow pride come in your way, the only way you can move on without looking back is if you go over and tell him how you feel. However, you must watch out for his sincerity so he doesn't play with your emotions.

I assure you no matter how it turns out you feel better in the long term.

good luck.

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Hot-angel said it well. The worse thing someone can suffer is self inflicted regret. Living your life wondering if making the move would have gotten you someone you truly love. Going ahead with your plan will have a benefit both ways. if he doesnt accept you back, atleast you freed your conscience, and hopefully if he does you get the one you love

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hot-angel (f)

USA

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Re: Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back?

« #17 on: April 05, 2006, 06:19 PM »

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Don't let pride stop you from getting back the one you love. You love him dearly, giving it a try won't hurt you. Just go back n tell him how you feel. Infact, even if he doesnt' feel the same way right away, he'll prolly start developing new love and be interested in giving your relationship another try n he'll want to make it work this time just because you have genuine feelings for him.

Most people on here would tell you not to do it (i would tell u that too, if i didn't know what it really means to be hurting inside about loving someone who has no idea that you do), Anyways, they'll all tell u not to do it, because well guys are stereotyped to make yanga of girls that want them desperately. it's like if you tell him u want him, he'll prolly keep u to the curb n make u hurt more, or he'll accept u n treat you like trash just for telling him u want him back.

the truth of the matter is, Go back tell him u still love him, go through with your plan, Youu'll be able to tell if he wants you back. if after telling he still doesn't want you, you have nothing to lose, rather he has lost a girl who truely loves him. Infact you haven't lost your pride, because love made you do what you did. , not what people would say.

This topic can go on for 13 to 16 pages, you'll hear different opinions, but the best thing i'd say you should do is go with what your heart tells you. your heart would continue to ache if you don't do what it tells u. Right now, u can't think straight except you tell that dude how u really feel, and tell him u want him back. if you don't do that, you'll continue to blame yourself for not trying. trust me hun, it's not an easy thing to do, but you should do it.

My two cents.

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babe!I be bobo and I know what it means when it is said that ''there is nothing as terrible as woman scorned'', really it should not refer to women alone.Men are included,in short step up.

the world is yours.

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Hello girl, i feel 4 u. becos i have expirence this exact feelings b4, my girl cheated on me and got me infected with a minor which i hav take care of. though she told me with her mouth and apologies. it took a while abt 7months and i forgaved her. during those 7months i was missing her. but i cud not tell her. though she was callin on one or two occasions i had nothing to tell but insults. so oneday it got out of hand, i mean the missin. i called her and told her i wud love to see her she came and we went somewhere 2gether we talked and had fun after talkin. but after that encounter and many others my feelings for her are no longer thesame. i dont love like i used to but we are still lovers. with all future plans thrown to the dustbin unknown to her but know to me. so think very well abt ur act.

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You are grazy.Why did you even run away from him in the first place?

It could be because the guy did not have neither work nor money,you decided

to run away from him.And now that he is welled-to-do now you want

to go back again.That's why you post this nonsense.

Better take your time.If it were me, i would have mess you up.

Take it or you leave it.

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Well I think you should tell him, cos I'll if I do. I see nothing wrong you doing that.

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why should you tell him that you want him back when i here for you i am big strong and reliable abeg fashi the guy jo

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sister,i don't really have an experience but i will say that it is wrong for you to go back to him again despite the feeling.he might just take you for a fool,it is not being proud but keeping your dignity.i quited my boyfriend last three months not because i never loved him,but because he changed suddenly as if he never was that same man who asked me out.thought i knew he kept some other girlfriends out there but i never talked until i caught him twice and he definitely never had any explanation for me so i new it was over despite the pain,sorry to say i cried silently but had to keep myself away from what might befall me later.and today i am glad i did even though he has come back to beg i know i cant take him again.we still communicate but nothing more than that.sister please don't go back and if you are meant to be,even if it takes centuries you will still meet cos there is nothing God cannot do

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I dont think its a nice plan, the guy may take advantage of you and probably hit you and run again, so just be patience if he truely love you he will definately appologies.

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@twinkle: If you cannot give people a second chance, it simply means you cannot tolerate. Any person that cannot tolerate has not started anything yet. The main point is to understand how this girl feels. For this girl to think of going back to her ex-boyfriend - it means the guy was so kind to her. So, my advice is that the girl should go back to him and let the guy know how she feels.

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i have read so many post concerning this girl who wants to get back to her boyfriend, and all the suggestions goes to show how diverse we humans are in our thinking, but the truth is no matter what we put up here as our suggestions, we would never be able to tell exactly how the girl in question feels about the guy, people vary, and when it comes to relationships some people have very tender and attaching hearts, lets be careful of what kind of advice we put up here for this girl, if she truly loves him, it doesnt hurt to still tell him how she feels, if he's truly worth the trouble, his reaction and response to her plea would tell, pride has nothing to do with matters of  the heart, so go ahead and tell him how you feel, but there's no need going to his town, call him and pour your minds out.

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he will prbly take advantage of you. it shows you r begging to get back together. give it time. u might prbly find the right person for u. u prbly miss him so much that is why u want him back. u will get over it soon. just hang in there.

I do not give people a second chance.

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There is evidence that when we practice bringing attention to what we appreciate in our lives, more positive emotions emerge, leading to beneficial alterations in heart rate variability. This may not only relieve hypertension but reduce the risk of sudden death from coronary artery disease. The above is for your own good. I am a guy, I believe it's proper to tell him how u feel, especially going to his home town will really make him have a serious thought about you. Even if he does not like you, he will be seriously moved to the extent of knowing how much you care and love him. He must surly come to respect and love you. Go ahead with your plan. It will work.

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make up ur mind ,follow ur heart n u'll have peace of mind even if u guys dont get back together he'll respect u 4 dat.trust me!

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I kne is not easy but girl u got be strong, but don't go the guy wuld down on you.

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girl i think u heard it all? dont just try it all

i knw its not easy but be urself.

gudluck

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Na wa every day people write here help me ,help me.

But we never grt any feed back[b][/b].

Did she go or not did her take her back or not.

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if he stay wants you u back

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i won't beg any guy to go out with me or take me back.if he cannot see it then, sorry but i'm so not gonna beg no one

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he says go and you're saying you want him back?

what would you do if it were you? think

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yeah, i think she should just try by goin, u never know, maybe the guy is missin her now so badly, but he just keep lookin for ways to start it up, thinkin the gurl will tell him "HELL NO!!! FOR HELL AND HEAVEN, I CAN'T COME BACK!!!"

so the guy just probably feels so down.

by tryin, she can prove if the guy still loves her.

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there is no harm in tryin',

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Oooh Child, what a predicament, (Ehm! i don't mean you're a child o! abeg o!) I think you need to sort this whole love for your ex out, cuz it will end up interfering with your future relationships--trust me, been there, thank God my new bobo stayed and now i'll be meeting him at the altar in my white dress. This isn't about me, but you need to do something about how you feel--girl you need to face your demons! you don't have to go see him to know how he feels about you, let's face it we're women and we can feel these things, that's why God created us this way, we know when we're wanted or not, especially if you've got a lot to offer, abeg get the stepping--there will always be another man, better sef if you're patient. If he's not even bothered to stay intouch sef, well, i'll strongly advice you to brace yourself cuz it's going to be a while to purge yourself of him (please don't run into another r/ship you'll only hurt yourself and the new man), brace yourself, close your eyes and MOVE ON cuz the brother don't deserve you afterall. All this is if the PHONE CALLS go wrong o!!!! but if doesn't, and he's sending some vibes, y'all can hang out, (please mask your emotions before he takes advantage of them), once y'all are hanging out, you can open the room for dialouge, i'm sure during this process you'll know if you still want to hang there or just move on altogether. Believe me, this is what i'll do. I've been there too, so i know how you feel

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No way! Don't go to him. He will pretend and take advantage of you. If you were the one that broke up the relationship, i would have encouraged you to go and see him. If you go back now and he accepts and later throw you out you'll end up in deeper misery.

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Kave, if you are not impressed with your girl's love, have you told her? I also see your point about ppl not showing how much love they have, but that is during the relationship, not after one person has called it quits? She should still call him and not go there.

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do it. u'll be sorry if u don't. maybe he's the one for u and u'r letting him go because u're too proud

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Girl,

really,if ur love 4 him was not ok b4 u broke up,but u realise now that u love him more,then just let him know.

The mistake some girls make is,they refuse to show a guy they love him so much.Tinkin the guy will take them for granted.So the guy feels u dont love him that much and wants to call it off.4 me,am not impresd wit the love my girl shows.May be its because she is just too far away.

Lagos - Jos.

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^^^ So if you think being hang up on when she calls is bad, what about when she spends her money to fly/ drive to see him and he takes one look at her and leaves her standing there like a fool?

Or another worse case scenario: The guy takes advantage of the situation by being nice to her just to mess around/sleep with her and then reject her anyway after she leaves town? You don't think that's worse? If he doesn't want her, he doesn't want her. Showing up won't change that. It will just take away any human dignity and respect she has left.

There are many ways to read when a person is telling you NO, they don't want you. You don't need to spend money and go see their face to tell.

If anything, I say she should call him once and once only to test the waters. If it still doesn't sound hopeful, let it go. Why force yourself on someone who doesn't want to be with you? i.e. If this is the case. Margarita, it's hard to believe that at this point, but someone else will come along. Decent men are like buses. One takes off, another one will show up that' s going where you are going and you can hop on. It's silly to run after the one that already took off. You'll almost never catch it.

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@chinani: well, i think the guy will tell it more when the girl goes, than when she calls, that's when she'll know even better if the guy is in need of her anymore or not. Coz when she goes, that's when they'll even get to a conclusion and make things work out better, and when the guy says NO! that's when she'll really realise what type of an Naughty Person he is, so all she wil of have to do by the time is just forget about him. (but if they got into a conclusion and the guy said no.)

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