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Should Our Boyfriends Assist Us Financially Without Us Having To Ask?

a very good friend of mine has been going out with a guy, for about 1  year, he takes her out wine and dine her however he does not assist her financially, (that is give her money) she is going through a very difficult patch at the moment and need some help which he knows about, but has done nothing to help her what is even worst is that he has a good job and is financially stable.

my question is should women ask their men for money or should men know that women need money for their day to day expenses.

i personally believe that they should if they could afford it, if the man is broke but you love him i feel the woman should understand after all she choose him.

whats your point of view.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

a little help once in a while is not a bad idea, it should not just get too "once in a while" or a brother starts to feel like an ATM

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Mrmayor,

            I think you are just diverting this topic to sthelse to suit your replies. Coco never said anything like the girl being extravagant. So please stick to the main topic.

My answer to this question still remains yes, they should and that doesn't mean he should be giving her money for everything but if she needs it  the most on something very important. Like my former boyfriend,  though I didn't want to say this ,he came from a very poor family but he is a very serious and a responsible guy. When he lost his father in his second year in the University, I remember I had to help him financially with the one quarter of his school fees. Although he didn't ask for this but he was telling me as a friend what he was going throughand  how he was trying and not finding someone to help. I had to help knowing that I had that money and he needed it more than me then. It's not all about spending money on  your boyfriend/girlfriend but all about being there for your friend. Afterall what are friends for why would I lend it to him when I knew he didn't have it.

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I believe we women should learn to be financially independent. Even at that, no man is an island and though we may need assistance from time to time, we should not bank on our men to provide it. Unless

a. We are married to them

b. They are making too much money for their own good

c. We are blackmailing them

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If the girl is actually important to him, he need not to be told that he suppose to help her out in any problem; financially, physically, spiritually and any thing possible.

@davidlyn

It is so unfortunate that you are thinking like this. how can u do that to a girl you claim to love. What is love to you?

My advice to the girl is to ask for help outside. She should damn the guy. A friend in need is a freined in deed.

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If you can do without asking him for money,you had better do.From my past experience i cann't advice any of my girlfriends to ask their boyfriends for financial assistance.Then i do ask my boyfriend for money but while doing my youth service he said i should lend him some money and after giving him the money he started behaving funny.He went for another girl and up till now he didn't bother to refund all the allawy i saved.

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Toym28,

You want to chat?i'm bored as hell.

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MrMayor, i wldnt get hitched 2 a guy dat is irresponsible from d word go. But if he turns out like dat, i wld help him at least we are still frnds, but i'll tell him 2 get himself sorted or else m out!

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Toym28,

I'm just curious,would you help out your man with money if he spends all he's got on bling and poo stuff or would you tell to take a hike and get himself sorted.

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I think dey shld asssist us without asking, but for those glz that seem 2 get angree i their guyz dont have d initiative to assist dem financially i think, they are spoilt brats, who do not appreciate d oda things d guyz give dem.

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Zarah,

I'm not one of those who think that if a woman moves on its because she has met a richer man,in my experience I had a girl who was just extravagant to the core,who would buy the latest Gucci shoe and at the end of the month she wants the man to pay for her rent.I don't see any reason why a woman who makes less than I do should spend a lot more than I do in a month.

Do I know when am suppose to do stuff for my woman absolutely yes,but she has to prove to me that she can stand on her own two feet.The women in my family are hardworking women who can do stuff for themselves without waiting for a man and that what I expect from my woman.

I don't expect a woman to pay the bills when we go out or shopping,infact I would find it insulting if she decides to pay for the stuff we buy together.I love my girl when she looks good and smells good but that shouldn't in the detriment of real stuff like your rent/mortgage,school fees,paying for health insurance etc things that we can't do without.

Would I help out my woman that includes my wife financially if the need arises yes but not when she has spent the money she's got on frivolous stuff.

Cheers

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and why should i give my girlfriend money? We are not married neither is she my fiancee, bar gifts, occassional help with shopping and paying for outings and diner, my "financial responsibility" stops there. Do not bother to ask me for money, i will first ask you what you do with your monthly check because i recieve one too! Dont bother to plead for financial help, to me it is a sign that;

1. you will most likely end up a financial drain on me soon as we get married!

2. you do not know how to manage finances and for me as a guy, that's a big no no!

@ spiky,

it's hiding time now eh?

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me too but m out now. i've a project 2 complete.

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If the girl is in serious need then she should ask the guy.the thing is some don't even think of giving their girls money,they just do the wine and dine thing.

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We are always under this illussion that men only enjo sex. Why should  sex for money be mentioned by Coco? It seems to me that we always hide under  " love" but beneath its surface there is a potruding pocket- wads of bucks tucked inside the pants. What are friends  for anyway? But  I believe that let he who is  in need  call the first shot.

MEN should not be considered as paying buddies when  they are emotionally involved in a relationship. This relationship should  be based on mutual affinity- no host or   parasite. I ve come to see that we selectively adopt western lifestyle that fits our selfish desires and abadon the rest that conflicts our selfish desires.

I know that in Carribean, traditional  family system is still in vogue ( I mean women staying at home and their husbands going to work) would  Coco be subjected to  this kind of situation in the west ? Its equal opportunity baby. not a man's world. That's why  Halle Barry is paying her ex-husband alimony.

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As a boyfriend it is his duty to love his girl and love is not just when things are rossy.

As a matter of fact TRUE LOVE is tested in hard times.

well u can conclude

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i don't like asking people for stuff so, he should know when i need help and when i don't.

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Going to baby mamas is better than wanking myself,I agree with you things we do in relationships should because we want to,not because we have to.

If I meet a women and I get the impression that I have to pay my way to her pants,no problem I'll pay and it ends there,If she is for real I will be there for her no matter what.

The problem with the MTV generation is a lot of women wants the man with the bling,if you have the alloy wheeled car,some dog tags and a bit of cash to spend you are the man.Some women think all they have to do is look fab and the men come crawling and you have to pay for services rendered.

When it comes to "M"word don't get me started,in Ireland before you say hi to a naija woman, make sure you would like to see her popsie and pastor to fix the date of your wedding.as they would say "I don't want to be used"

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But don't you think, going with a baby maamaa a bit low. I mean i know there are girls out there that don't give a flying f**k about money. Personally, i don't have any form of respect for a guy that would pay for sex or think they might get sex by spending money. The same sentiments for girls that demand for money/gift in return for sex (indirectly).

Life shouldn’t be filled with hang- ups and hold-ups. As soon as I meet a guy, I feel he is not compelled to marry me or pay my bills and I’m not obliged to have sex with him, cook or clean for him (if I don’t want to). At least that way we know where we both stand and no wahala.

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I'm 5'9,72 kg. work out once a week,I'm not a spender because I have a mortgage to pay.She's a spender who doesn't care where the money comes from

am not doing any dirty stuff to make money to please any woman.

I want my woman to be hardworking and I will stand by her any day,giving women money to buy clothes and perfumes is asking for trouble,if it ain't no more she's walking.

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I would prefer if he does not have to assist me financially, I don't even know how to start asking for money, I know everyone has money problems once in a while but still I would like him to assist in a non-financial way, there are other things a guy can do to show he cares.

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Kitty-Cat is not love,but some women use their Kitty-Cat as a TOLL GATE.if want a pass you must pay

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So Kitty-Cat means love now.

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Recently I got burnt after helping my woman,I invested the whole works,love,romance,time and financial.I'll be more cautious next time especially the financial section.

If I need Kitty-Cat bad,there lots of baby mamas in Dublin who give free love,no need to pay through your nose.If I will be garrantied a good Kitty-Cat session minus the drama.I Will Pay With Joy

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I need love. That's all I want.

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love when married

romance as a teenager

business when you are old enough to understand that men will do what ever it takes for a f*UK.

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Why do women keep talking about giving up their Kitty-Cat,what about man giving you his Big Di*ck.

Women you want to get away with murder,you choose when its love,when its romance and when its a business  aka i give you Kitty-Cat on the condition you pay up when the time comes.

Its either its love or a business,the question still remains What Do Woman Want, love,romance or business

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me i go yarn my own. if my girl has got probs, im gon be there for her cuz she is there for me when i need a good massage and some hot bath. what is the point of calling me her boo if i cant be able to boo her with money. i gott@ do what i gott@ do to see her smile. if i dont notice her being in problems, she shud also tell me knowing dat i might got some stuff going on in my head to think about her. if she tells me she got some financial problems, i will help her without her asking me to help.

i dont think the man must help but since u guys are friends and a r/ship for that matter, he shud help and stop being nonchalant.

@coco

tell your friend to suck it up and tell him she needs help. which kin shakara be this? what if the guy is waiting for her to ask b4 he helps? women sef, una get problem, a guy is too busy to notice certain things or think about some stuff cuzz we got our mind on many stuff.

u women shud learn how to open mouth and talk when the guy doesnt know.

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When you have finacial problems, you turn to ur lady if she has it why not?

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. . . atimes I wonder.  Why should it be the guys always?  when guys have financial problems, who do we turn to? we solve it ourselves.  I think ladies should learn being independent, at least when u'r not engaged. 

Don't get me wrong, I pay my dues too.

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I didn't say you can't request for money from your of the opposite sex, what i said was that it is not his duty to do so, so you should not automatically expect him to pick up the tab.

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I do give and never seen any body who has given me. I am not saying he should be giving her money for her day to day wutever but at least help at times when she needs it most.

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Woman generally don't give financial help to their men,at least in my experience.

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I personally don't think it's a guys duty to assist grils financially, except the both of them are married if they arent' then he has no obligation to pay up.

@Coco if your friend is in need of financial help then i think she should let the guy know of this, some guys are pretty slow and others like to act oblivious of the situation, If she doesn't spell it out to him then the guy would be non the wiser.

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I know this is for ladies but i gotta say my part, why should a guy help, to me its should only be ur fiance or ur wife

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she better tell him cuz if not she shouldn't have anything against him for not helping. some guys are like that.

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He is just nonchalant and that's mean but if I were she I would let him know I need it since he wants to be told.

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It's not the guy's responsiblity to help her financially but what are friends for. Or do you want to tell me that you badman or damsal has never asked any of your friends not the opposite sex for help b/4. Must he be the fiance or husband to help her out. Or does she do that all the time.

To me she is the kind that doesn't ask for money which makes it difficult for her to do it now and if she is not why can't he help now she needs it.

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