«Home

Should Virgins Be In Relationships?

Just wondering if people who are virgins and plan to remain so till they are married get in relationships. and if it isn't impossible, especially for the girls, to remain in them because guys are mostly into sex and demand it in relationships. Virgins in the house, pls enlighten us. Do u have relationships? u know the kind i mean.

Avatar
Newbie
57 answers

in a niaja relationship, sex must be there and for a virgin to want to be in a relatioship datz means u must be ready to dance to the drumz.mind u all ya 100percent of virgins got disvirgined one way or the other unto relatioship matta make i go read book

0
Avatar
Newbie

if you dont want to have sex, avoid boys! simple.

when you are ready to start courting then you can put yourself in a commited relationship. you cant start dating at 15 and expect to hold on to that hymen till say your mid twenties. there's gonna be one guy who will eventually wear down your resistance with his whining and begging!

0
Avatar
Newbie

I don't see why virgins should not have relationships. It's their way of screening through guys and looking at the one that they want to either lose it to or get married to. Some of them might not be ready to lose it to just anyone.

0
Avatar
Newbie

What d hell this is all so confusing!!!!!!! Sex or no sex!!! Its a 50-50 rave here! In naija in boardin house when i was aksed 4 it and all dat poo i said no and when i mentioned dat i was a virgin and wanted to remain soooo d guys didnt get it (damn guy im leavin u in this dump we ain't luv each other) and d girls didn't get whyb i said so cuz dey saw m as a big tyme flirt and didn't know why i had to turn a guy down!!!

Now im seein someone dat i rily rily like and i dont know wat d hell to say to him!!!!!!!! HELP

0
Avatar
Newbie

I disagree. If you are not in a relationship then what happens with marriage, and children abi you wan be virgin for life. Out of all the crazy lot that will demand for sex there are few who will value you for who you are such that when sex comes in it won't be a "forced labour".

A friend got married last year at 36! Though she ended up having sex before the actual wedding date, she felt she trusted the man enough to let go. Another female friend is in a relationship with a married man, they've been in it for 6-years and still no sex. Don't people believe that married men date single women for sex and money exchange?

Saying no to sex for now is about saying no to heartaches. When you do let go, you want to make sure the man values you and loves you enough. It doesn't mean that because you have waited for 25 years the first man will marry you or be a great husband.

From the very beginning define why you are in the relationship, the wan wey wan stay go stay, the one wey wan go, go go. You may not even need to begin the relationship before you find out his attitude towards sex. And the fact that a man agrees to no sex wouldn't make him a perfect match for you.

You may not like the idea of remaining a virgin forever, with prayers the man who will value the high level of discipline you have maintained will come your way.

0
Avatar
Newbie

chiomsy,

i feel ur pain. it was for this exact reason that i started this topic cos it's almost impossible to have relationships without sex nowadays. if a guy actually says he's willing to wait, u can be sure he's getting it somewhere else. or his friends will discourage him, saying u're just deceiving n using him, so he'll start pressuring u to prove urself to him.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Am a virgin too but i've passed through so much stress in relationship. right now i dont have any serious relationship because am a virgin. I've been falling in and out of love. you know guys, they will promise not to touch u but wouldnt live up to it. Am deeply in love with a guy now but the problem am having with him now is the same virginity of a thing, he even went as far as saying that i cant play a ludo game without a dice. Every relationship now means sex and am not ready to do it so fellow virgins, if u are not ready to have sex or if u wish to keep your virginity, dont go into any relationship cos men are same everywhere. what they want is sex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Um sorry to bother you pastor, i know that they say sex is over rated and it is probably good that you are still a virgin, because when you loose it, what you are saying now won't be what you will be saying after. Sex is not a joke it can be addictive MOSTTIMES! Try and stay that way! kay. it is very important you keep that dream of yours. Goodluck!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ nazzyon

I feel youuuuuu, ta nananananana

You too muuuuch, ta nananananana

0
Avatar
Newbie

Oh, you should probably know that I don't really value my virginity highly. I haven't really heard of a man who does. That would be very counter-societal. I just never really pursued a sexual relationship. Although, I'm still young, obviously, and I'm looking now. But I don't care if a woman wants to keep her virginity. I have been a virgin for 19 years, and I don't think I'll explode if I remain that way a few more. I have other things in my life that make me happy anyway. Call me naive (because I probably am), but I'd rather have a woman who makes me happy with who she is than one who gives me a lot of sex. That way, I won't end up with one of those ridiculus "loveless" marriages.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Don't you have to be in a relationship before you can lose your virginity? I mean. I dunno. I'm a virgin. I don't see any way to get it outside of a relationship other than to find some drunk slut at a party or pay up, and I don't think women would go for either of those. Ha, if a man won't let you continue in a relationship without sex, it means that it is more important for him to have sex in his life than to be with you. Figure it out. He's performing a cost-benefit analysis, and your companionship is too much cost for too little benefit, if you know what I mean. It is entirely possible for a guy to go without sex. Celebacy is a hands-on job (again, if you know what I mean), but it's totally feasible. Virgins can be in relationships, if maintaining virginity is a priority.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Virgins can go into a relationship with virgs like themselves because that way d pressure wouldnt b 2 much, but goin into a relationship with

a guy/girl who's nt a virg can nvr wrk ( i stand 2 b proved wrg) unless u guys r actually ready 4 marriage . Apart frm that, U guys would end up breaking up because it's either you're put under pressure to ve sex or d guy is cheating. Guys will always b guys because that part of them can be difficult 2 tame at times if they r in2 sex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

for a virgin to be in a relationship is very stressful. the guy always wants it even if he doesnt stress it which makes the gurl feel bad. And the most annoying thing is that he'll be so confident of himself that you'll lose it to him oneday. So virgins shouldnt enter relationships, from exprience

0
Avatar
Newbie

Although it is hard to beleive it this time around but all the same if you can keep your Virginity till that D Day hummmm you will be highly respected in your family & husbands house, For me it is a pride to be a Virgin & to remain Virgin Till that Night i pray may God help me because is never easy with guys nowadays,,,,,,, But i pray that God will continue strenghtlying my Partner till that night,,, My Mother marry as a Virgin, My elder sister marry as a Virgin & they keep on telling us how is good to marry as a Virgin

0
Avatar
Newbie

I was in a relatnshp 4 3yrs& w neva ad sex i tink twas d reasn y d whole tin ended im hapi i dint do it cos if i av i'll b felin horible now its sad dat i misd a cute guy bt im +tve &i kno i wuld mit my guy wu wuld luv me& aprcate me it jus a mata of tym

0
Avatar
Newbie

and virgin guys can be plucked out of thin air eh? lol.

and how do u know a guy is a virgin? the real ones are usually ashamed of it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

At topic

why not,

Virgins can be in a relationship depends on their motive, but if the girl is a virgin then she should also go for a virgin guy so as to balance the equation. simple.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There is nothing wrong with goin in2 a relationship if u are a virgin,its just dat u need 2 b sure dat d guy u goin out with is not a jerk,one of dos guys who just want 2 get down on ur feet.

Am a virgin and am in a relationship,its well ova a year and my boyfriend as neva for once asked me 4 sex,nevertheless we keep a healthy relationship.So dea's no big deal in keepin a relationship even though u're a virgin.

0
Avatar
Newbie

In my own point of view, there is nothing wrong with them being in a relationship they will just have to keep there heads up and try not to put there feelings in there hand but sometimes guys fool them by saying let complete this Love, there is nothing which is said to complete love, Love is complete on It's own without any conpensation for it but sometimes you cannot blame guys all the time because some feel uncomfortable and cautious because they always think, "what if the girl i have being nurtured and keeping as a virgin since all this time decide to go out with another guy". Men are not the evil all the times but sometimes the circumstance matters as well and the level of situation that is why most guys prefer to have sex even if it is once so that u can think they have a conpensation for there efforts of trying to be together until when they get married even if the lady broke up with him.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Sadam

Help me ask dime what he meant by "virgins dont get Hot"or arent virgins human beings?

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Dime

You re just making me laugh, when u say virgins dont get Hot!

Ain't virgins human begins, havent they got feelings and emotions?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Can I just say one thing that I forgot to mention earlier, everyone is a virgin and in a relationship at one point. So if virgins shouldn't be in relationships, how would people be allowed to be in relationships then?

0
Avatar
Newbie

I hate to say stuff because it almost doesn't matter anyway.

But My question still is. . . who is a virgin?

0
Avatar
Newbie

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

omot208

This your last comment no get head. So what happens to their sexually urge when it comes up.

hum sweetheart virgins don't get Hot!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why not they are human beings. Plus they are the one missing out on how great sex can be not you!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Omot208

i wasnt the one saying that. I was just refering to something i found bizzare that somebody else said in an ealier comment

Personally a relationship with no intimacy would not work with me, but thats me though.

0
Avatar
Newbie

omot208

This ur last comment no get head. So what happens to their sexually urge when it comes up

0
Avatar
Newbie

i think waht sage is trying to say is there should be total abstinence, no intimacy whatsoever. no touching beyond politeness. it would probably work though it requires two very consenting and emotionally strong people to pull it off.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Saddam,

my confirmation is in my earlier posts.

0
Avatar
Newbie

His brain needs re-wiring. . . LM-buttcheeks-O

0
Avatar
Newbie

Are u still one? We need to hear from u

0
Avatar
Newbie

i must be an alien then cuzz i have been a r/ship and never had sex for once and i still loved her to death.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I don't see why not, I just think it's important to make it clear. Some guys don't like that, but if they aren't okay with it, then I feel they just don't like you enough.

0
Avatar
Newbie

*** rolls eyes ***

If you're in a relationship and you love each other there's no reason why you should not have sex with your partner.

As long as there is monogamy and committment to each other.

0
Avatar
Newbie

fo' shizzle. did dy said so.

0
Avatar
Newbie

taaahahaha are you kidding me!!??

damn man. . . you need to move out of GRA. . .

0
Avatar
Newbie

Some people do think that being a Virgin is like not being alive. I feel it is sick too think of such @ my age it amazes most of my friends when i tell most of my friends that I am still abstaining from sex for now. They feel it is silly but I feel otherwise.

I believe that remaining who I am is making me focuse because I have friends in the past that their first experience had changed them forever any site of the opposite sex gets them excited, they fall back in to the mood, feeling it time again for another.

The best relationship you can ever have is when you haven't seen the Unclad of your partner. Not seeing your partners Unclad will lead to a kind of an inexplanable understanding and by understanding each other, you will definitely respect each other.

I am better of the way I am than to fall into some extensive romantic life. though in an emotional being so it works for me this way. Though I have been in any relationship in my life but I feel i can wait a little more before getting married, then I will learn to know what's in it for me.

So i see nothing wrong in been a virgin till you get married. Whenever I am going to have a partner I pray she understands and takes it the way iit will favour us both.

So, it is always profitably to keep yourself, since religions ahd stated and besides that sexual infections can never jump from one person to you if you do not have sex. It is pretty good to keep your virginity.

Though you may end up looosing friends. but i want you to know that those you loose are not your friends, your friends will always be their to listen and understand and remain with you.

Magadan Apon

0
Avatar
Newbie

sorry, i didn't read through your post well b4 ranting. i do not judge people so that is out of the question. I omitted your age so part of the things i said were in the mind that you are in your early teens or something. and yes, you did enlighten me. i learn everyday in this forum. and yeah, you are right about the pastors.

sorry again ma'am. have a nice day.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Relationship is meant for both virgins and non - virgins,it al depend on the guy. Some guys are out there to just do the thing sharp sharp and run away .

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Omot208, I really admire ur candidness and truthfullness. Things that i cherish in a woman. i wish more Nigerian women would be that candid like that. Those qualitites in my rader are far more important than any virginty talks. They could make a relationship/friendship/marriage last for a long time and make it worth it. You r in ur late twenties. You are a grown woman and you dont need to explain your actions or apologize to anyone

A man or woman can only be a virgin for a few seconds of a sexual encounter but a truthful woman is something that could last for a lifetime.

0
Avatar
Newbie

it's things like this that mkaes people not put their personal issues on this forum because people automatically judge u for them. now i have to post even more of it to enlighten diddy.

note that i said until recently in my earlier post. i'm in my late twenties and engaged to be married to this guy (we've started with the introduction process) so i'm pretty sure i'll marry him. one of the greatest human desires is to settle down in marriage so i'm only human to want to have a guy marry me even if he decides he wants to be sure the sex is good before marriage. and i do have God in my life which is the main reason i feel guilty for having sex.

and u say God in every relationship? hell, u date some 'pastors' and u have to sleep with them! they agree fornication is a sin but they define it as indiscriminate sex, which means it's ok to have sex if u're in love. and they quickly tell u they love u so they can get down to business. only to decide u were not the one God showed them in their 'vision'. do u know how many sistas this has affected? nowadays people come to church to meet someone to date, so even a proclamation of God in the relationship does not save u from sex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

nahhh hun, there was still hope for you if u decided to seek God and remain steadfast in your resolution not have sex. your flesh controlled you into thinking you wont have a long lasting r/ship without sex. I was in a r/ship without sex and it lasted for long till i moved to the states. even though the society has changed and stuff, it doenst mean everyone in it has changed.

anyways, you've done the did so this one im saying is pouring water on stone.

ps, u shouldnt have even agreed to give head in the first place. a guy that loves you really from the buttom of his heart would have waited till you were ready or something. he would have respected your decision not to have sex. maybe he saw that if he kept pushing that you will give up and u did. this is the reason why God should be in every r/ship cuzz if you had God, i bet you wouldnt have done it and you would have been a better r/ship blissfully.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i agree with u that virgins can and should be in relationships. the thing is, i was a virgin until recently. i really wanted to remain one till my wedding nite but that became impossible. i went into relationships that even though the conversation was good and the chemistry was right, it all still boiled down to s-e-x. even with all the other trappings, the fact that i resisted the actual act led to it's being the whole centre of the relationships. i mean, i learnt to give head just to satisfy a guy and hoped it would substitute for the main thing but,

for the first 2-3 months it was perfectly fine until they started to head in that direction and i resisted. it's not like i don't like making out and all. i just wanted it to end at a point. i tried telling them even before agreeing to date them but they usually agreed, only to expect u to change ur mind after 2 months. i don't need to say how many guys i was beginning to like and had to break up with because of the issue of sex.

that's why i posted this topic. i wanted to know how possible it is to remain a virgin till your late twenties when u get married. in our society today, it's almost impossible to survive in relationships without sex. the guys i met who didnt want sex didnt meet up to other requirements. all the cute sexy guys i'm drawn to are drawn to sex.

i finally gave up.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i thiknk it totally depends on the guy the virgin girl is dating. but like everyone is saying, relationships are not just about sex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i dont see any tangible reason why dey shouldn't be in a r/ship. r/ship aint all about sex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Use of . , ? is very important please. Thanks

0
Avatar
Newbie

For me i think yeah because am 17 now and am a virgin and am in a relation

but my byofriend always ask me for sex and i always tell him that am not

really yet and he understands me and my problems it's my choice

But well not all boys are like that.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.