Should you marry a divorcee and what are the questions to ask them before you say “I do?”
Today the rate of divorce is high as never. Many people enter relationships with divorcees. What are the possible problems you may face, when doing so? And what questions you may ask to avoid such problems?
Major questions to ask when dating or marrying a divorcee?
If you know the truth you can either deal with it or change your decision. That’s why it is so important to take your time and get to know each other. That is if you do not want to end up a divorcee yourself!
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Why the person got divorced?
Most of the times we hear such things as “she was so mean” or “it’s all his fault”. Such claims are dangerous. Two people got married and it did not work for them. In most cases there are two people to blame for it.
Ask the person you consider for marriage about their ex and listen carefully. Do they talk down their ex wife or husband? If they do, you might be the next one to blame!
Is marrying a divorced person a sin?
It’s a big question for Christians. And the Bible should be the source to find the answer. Read 1 Corinthians 7:15. It talks about the first legit reason for divorce. It’s the case of being “unequally yoked” with an unbeliever.
Mostly it works for those, who married as unbelievers, but one of them becomes a believer later on in life. The other person may not take kindly to such changes, especially if they belong to a different religion (Islam for instance) or they are involved in sinful lifestyle. Let’s say they both used to party, smoke and drink a lot, and one has become a Christian and desires to lead a holy life.
Surely, people get much contradiction and tension in their relations. If the unbeliever does not want to live with the Christian, well, you are free to go. And that disconcert is not just about words. Some people become violent and batter their wives. Deeds speak louder than words. He may say he wants to live with her, but his actions do not prove it!
The other reason is adultery. If a wife or a husband cheats, the other person is free to divorce them!
Do they take good care of their kids?
Some men leave the family and think their ex-wife is the one to raise the kids. They do not participate in their rearing; do not provide for the kids. That’s a really bad sign. If a man can easily leave his kids behind, you may become his next ex-wife with babies on hands. So, pay attention and discuss this topic with your fiancé. If it makes him angry or he is unwilling to talk about it… well, it might be time to say no instead of the “I do”.
How long did they stay single after the divorce?
Jumping from one relationship to another after a break up is not a good idea. One needs time to heal up. If the man or the woman start dating or talking about marriage just a month or two after the divorce, you should think twice before marrying them.
Divorcees need some recovery time. Possibly the person needs counseling instead of marriage. And there are situations, when a man gets married to a new wife, but a few months’ later returns to the ex. To avoid that take your time.
How they expect you to treat their kids?
If a man or a woman has kids from the previous marriage, it makes things a little harder. Even if the kids stay with his wife, you should be prepared to let him go and meet them. He would also be meeting his ex. The ex sex is a pretty common thing. Are you ready to handle the challenge? What does he expect you to do for his kids? Should you meet them too?
If your woman has kids from the previous marriage, you would live with them. Does she expect you to father them? Can you get along with them well? Those are the serious questions to discuss.
As you see, asking these questions about marrying a divorcee timely can save you much pain in the long run.
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