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This Madness, Why Me God?

We were friends in our school days but lost contact since 2002. We met by chance just last two weeks when she was nursing a sick husband. I was always there at the hospital to give any assistance I could as an old friend. I was so happy to see her after a very long time and also happy to be of assistance to her at that time of her need, which she really appreciated. Unfortunately, the man died a day after I left them in the hospital to take a break at home.

Now the madness is this; Do you believe that two days after my friend's husband died, she started making serious advances at me? That am the only God - sent person she has now as she doesn't want to remain a widow forever? She has been requesting for 'lovely text messages' from me, which I have been trying to compose even though I don't know how to compose such messages other than telling her to 'take heart'. You can't believe the number of times she has called and sent me messages since the death of her husband who is still lying in the mogue. For God's sake, how do I handle this critical situation? The lady is up to something else.

Read some of her messages;

(a) I think am already in love, but I dnt know if u really love me d way I do. How I wish u enter my mind and see how I feel towards u. You know what? You re God's sent.'

(b) I have always luved u right from school but I have been reserving my comment, but I think its high time I express myself. Please, dnt leave me, u re d closest friend I have.'

We have only met some two weeks back after 5-6 years of lost contact o o. Please, somebody help me.

NB; I never dated this lady for once.

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23 answers

hmmmmmmm

this na tough o

pls be careful

i will not encourage to date her

but give her the shoulder to cry on

n teach her to rely on God most

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It was hell 4 her when she lost her husband. It was hell good when u supported. Hell bad 4 her being a widow. Hell bad assuming her late husband's responsibilities @ dis early stage. Hell bad if u jump in2 conclusions. Hell bad if u listen 2 hell comments. Hell bad 2 feel in LOVE after 5 or 6 yrs of departure meeting 2 LOVE again after first site or 1 day after husband's demise. Hell bad 4 not getting 2 the roots of her husbands death. Frankly speakin, i see a clear picture of u in her husband's grave

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tell her u have a girlfriend and that she is not ur type.

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This is way beyond fast ecision guy, i really don't know what to advice you now, but since we are presently holding a revival in my church, all i can do is to pray for your stupidity,,,and hope God will deliver you from the spirit of indecision, Because every body knows its not right to do such silly things, Her husband just died a day ago an she is already making advances at you , he is not even buried yet, haha kilode, God help youooooo with your ojukokoro, because we know its what you also want or else nobody should tell you before you know you should flee from her, And if you so wish to retain her please kindly inform us on nairaland to prepare for your funeral soon thanks, myself ifababa,

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Johnny, please know that we are not being indifferent to your plight. Certainly, this is very disconcerting for you.

However, please know that this woman is going through Hades right now. Consider what she's feeling. No, you need not acquiesce to what she wishes, but as her friend, you must put yourself in a position in which she can call upon you for proper support.

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THE OMEN IS BAD

FLY WEY DE DO TOO KNOW NAIM DE FOLLOW DEADBODI ENTER GRAVE. run my broda. run.

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Find out where her relatives are and talk to them like a 'doctor'

tell them that their sister needs support during this time because she is very emotional etc

Reiterate this point so they take it seriously, say she is in a delicate state psychologically and needs people around her

then do not pick her calls, if she insists tell her your fiance would not take it lightly

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THE OMEN IS BAD

PLENTY BABES DE OUT THERE GO FOR THEM. BEWARE OF WOMEN AND THEIR TRICKS

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no matter what happens dont sleep with her but be there for her she is hurt right now , just be her shoulder prolly thats her way of dealing with the situation

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she is afraid of lonleyness

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Why are you talking like this? I wish you were in my shoes to feel the psychological trauma this lady is causing me now. And yet I don't know how to attach her hard now that she's mourning her husband. And you know what, she has just sent me a credit card that I should be sending her 'lovely text messages', and each time she calls me, which she does more than ten times in a day, all she will be saying is 'I love you'. For God's sake, the husband is lying in the mutuary. Is this truelly love? God!

I am NOT asking her to date me oo. I never did that while we were in school not to talk of now that she's lost her husband just last two weeks.

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THAT GUY LYING IN THE MORGUE CAN BE U

if na u and ur wifey don de chase other guy nko? HOW WILL YOU FEEL. are u sure no be the woman killed the husband?

THE OMEN IS BAD. RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE

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Johnny, from experience i know what it is to be a widow, what she is going through now is one of the stages of grief we go through after oosing your husband. there is the initial shock, when you just carry on like nothing life changing has really happened, at that time you want the changes in your life to be very minimal. She is just clinging to you to fill that void in her life, she doesn’t want to acknowledge it by fully mourning her late husband, for her it is better to just skip that part because it is too painful. What i have learnt is that you cant avoid the process. If you get fooled by her cool exterior and succumb to her today and date her so soon after her husband death you will be saddled with an emotionally unstable woman in the next few months when the initial shock begins to wear off, Truth is we cannot skip the mourning process no matter how hard we try. My advise for you is to give her time to mourn, let her know she needs to mourn her husband but don’t keep away completely she would need a shoulder to cry on and guide her during the next few months, but she is definitely not ready for relationship.

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I guess she is seeing things she never saw in you before and I believe she must have lost a lot of friends during her trivail. She is only responding to the natural urges. It is just unortunate she is doing it just after her husband died. Based on the culture I believe a lot of people will frown at it. It might not be a prudent thing to do but it you cant say it is not right. On the legal basis, her marriage to her husband is broken and the contract between them is ended and she can actually go ahead and restart her life with another person again.

My advise is to make her understand what your position is. I really dont think she is evil as you might want to think just not using a lot of discretion. Sit her downa nd make her understand the implications of her actions, if her inlaw hear about it there is now an they wouldnt say she killed her husband - na naija now! Make her understand you dont feel comfortable with the whole thing - especially at this time and you appreciate your friendship with her now and dont wand dont want to make thinsg complicated. I think she needs you during her greatest trial - be there until you know it is not an ideal thing to do - all the best man!

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This is a tough one and you both have to be careful. First of all pray that God guides your heart, and then take some time off away from her. From what I can see she got used to your support in a very great time of need, you were there for her when most people would have run away. It might even be a good idea to stay away till the funneral is done and things have calmed down. possibly then her head would be a bit clear as well, and maybe that would be the appropriate time to let her know that the best thing for now would be to remain friends, and encourage her. Maybe with a clear head she might think differently about you, who knows.

Good luck

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Gawd. . .bloody out of her mind with grief and channeling it into delusions

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There is nothing wrong in her advances. It's just that she should have waited for sometime to allow her husband to be buried. One thing i know about women is that, once in love, they can hardly control their feelings.

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THE OMEN IS BAD

TELL HER TO LEAVE YOU ALONE. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

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she is grieving and needs someone to comfort her and you are around, you should talk to her and explain to her. if not that the she might just a ho-ho

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It could be just that this woman is very confused in her time of great grief.

Regardless, I extend my condolences on the loss of your friend's spouse.

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@topic

*Yarwing* Uhm This is interesting!!!!

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This one pass my power ooh.Anyway,i just dropped down to wish you luck on your newly found love

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