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Two Ladies In My Life; Which Should I Choose?

Please people help.

I have two girls in my life for convenience I will call them Miss A and Miss B.

Miss A is an educated lady who works in a bank. She is beautiful, independent and very stubborn. She is a lady when made up her mind on some issues takes time to reconsider. Her own idea of relationship is that is the duty of the man to serve the woman. Her parents got divorced when she was nine. She has her fears about men and since be having some carry overs from her parents failed marriage.She despises my two cousins living with me who are yet to find their feet. She said if we are to marry it must be two of us alone and no one else. She is actually good when she wants to be. And I enjoy my company with her when she is at her best. Sometimes could be a pain in the neck.

I work with an oil services company. On one of my visits to the rig in Port Harcourt I met Miss B. Miss B is a pure African girl not so educated, respectful,more beautiful than Miss A. She is an athlete. She plays and wins medals both for the state and for schools. She was involved in an accident which claimed her parents and she has since decided to live with her aunt. She laughs more when she is with me. I encouraged her to start a lesson which will help her speak good grammar as she makes lots of mistakes while speaking English language. Since then she have employed a teacher. Her own idea of a relationship is that she is there to serve her man while the man makes her happy. I want to settle with just one of these soonest.

My questions are do ladies change after marriage because one of Miss A`s problem is stubbornness and strong will. can she change for better or worse?

Can Miss B catch up with her classes, at least the mother of my children must be able to make good sentences? Should I leave the two of them for good?

Elders please help me as I don't have any experience on marriage and I do not want to jump in and out.

Thank you.

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30 answers

Such a complicated life, yours. Would not wish that on my enemy. But seriously, you alone can decide. I wash my hands off this "national security" issue. Now to you "prayer warriors", the desperate and greedy man is asking for help and all you do is ask him to pray. Its either his prayers have not been answered, or he does not know how to pray, or he's been calling on the wrong gods. Either way, his problem remains. Please, be practical and help this poor guy.

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How long do you think he can wait? The man here is aging.

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Neither of them. The fact that u r thinkin about which one to choose shows that u dont love either. When u meet the one, u will not b tryin to choose d better one!

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U should pray about it but i guess that's what u men get for double dating.

However, miss  A seems to be a better choice to me because from ur post its obvious she isnt pretending and u've seen, heard and know the worst she could go, miss B on the other hand might be pretending and don't be surprised once she gets that education or even get married to u she would show worse attitude and u don't even seem to see anything wrong in her apart from the education thing and my dear that sounds too perfect.

For miss A; U could talk to her and u guys can work things out at least u both know ur gud and bad sides and can work on it  b4 marriage .

But like earlier said, pray abt it cos at the end of the day without God's presence in the home, no matter who u marry, things might just not work out.

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Its your choice and the answer is deep down in your heart.

Sit down and think deep and the answer would come to the open.

Its your shoe and you have it on.

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^^ Equality my Bottom!!! since when did women start behaving like pple who could be equals?

smartest thing iv heard all day!!! u got a head on u man.

am not one for all this educate her/polish her tripe, besides when i was in school i saw how these women usually turned out and man, it was a nightmare for their husbands.

B sounds ok, BUT dont count on it, except of course u actually believe in human beings!!! make up ur mind though, though note u may think B is less forceful but she actually is the smarter one and can wrap u round her finger in a jiffy!! that approach works all the time for any smart woman.

the oversabi educated one will merely turn ur life into hell with all the ego trips and drama

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You need to be very patient sweety.

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Ask yourself the question: 5 years from now, which ofthem would i chose?

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look for another girl

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Cenor (m)

Go down on your kneels & Pray,God Will Open your eyez to see things u can't see ordinarily,But in all,ask urself what actually u really want in a wife,do u want some one to yield to whatever u say or some one that can put up a resistance to some of your decisions,do u want a wife you can order around or a wife partner whom jointly you can reach agreement? u have pretty lots of home work to do urself cos marriage ain't friendship Dude!!! Gudluck

if u cant do with this little advice, toss a coin.

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We ain't cheats; we just learning to hedge againt risk dat could have dire consequences on our lives

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Another cheat couching another

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The poster never asked to be criticized; he asked for d much needed critique; other posters should desist from debasing his sincerity.

@ Poster: it is better to date/get married to someone that loves you more than you love her; it simplifies complexities that might arise when the whirl winds come blowing

let go of Miss A and don't be too comfortable with Miss B.

Education is both an enlightener and leveler; don't get a rude shock when she becomes highly educated

i advice you expand your coast by reaching out to other gals; you just might wonder what you have been smoking all along by sticking with both Miss A and B

Cheers bro

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Nobody ever changes after marriage.

Period.

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My brother, if u ask me i prefer miss B.  in my 6 yrs in marriage i find out that it's better and clever to marry woman who is humble, peaceful and respectful. with your write up if u keep late night with friends or go out for business meeting, Miss A being the proud and arrogant woman who she is will call and ask Mr Man where are you, why are u still outside by this type of the day couple with a very strong abusive English grammar but Miss B may call and ask u daddy or honey your late 2day, hope no problem, what will you eat when u come back, i must not fail to tell u that most men are captives and freedom tight in their own house due to the type of obdurate women they marry, pls marry a girl who will understand your type of job and person. My brother, the predominant things to consider in marriage is trust, humility, respect, peace and love and not masters degree, pls do take your time in making your choose.

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I will give a candid advice, human beings change when they get married and most likely for the worst.A woman that is not accommodating can't make a good wife, how can Miss A tell u to send ur cousins away after marriage. My opinion: some children from broken homes don't make good spouse and she might be one of them.Women that are stubborn and arrogant to their husbands don't make good wife because this behaviour arises from pride. I can feel from your write up that she is proud, if not how will she want u to serve her. Arrant nonsense, money is not everything but happiness and rest of mind.

Miss B: u can make her be what u want her to be so far she is willing.Getting a lesson teacher shows she is ready to listen and learn from u. One of the popular nigerian lawyer wanted his wife to be a lawyer and 2day she is.All of us didn't start speaking good english one day, we all learnt. So my dear if I were u I would sit down and think about it deeply what I want in a wife. write down the things u can tolerate from a woman and what u can't, also in a tabulation form write down the positive and negative sides of each and compare. the one with the lowest "buts" should be given a chance. Women are supposed to be submissive, caring and accomodating.

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Go for the one you love and the one that makes you happy. Don't tell me you love both because from your post, you love the less educated girl. IMHO, the less educated girl can be educated and meet your standard but the educated girl will find it very difficult to change especially when she knows she is adored by you. Follow your heart and only time will solve your problems.

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for the sake of respect,love,dignity u ought

to @lest give her that respect and dont go for another gurl

till u guyz shud have atleast broken up

now see the mess you have gat urself in2

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Its really a difficult situation,Human beings generally are unpredictable.Career women sometimes are difficult to deal with,,but Mrs B will make you happy and you could organise an intensive lauguage section daily for 6 mnths,since you can pay for it then you can do it.People like that give rest of mind at home and at work.Its good to go home happy.But since humans are unpredictable ,she can also make mistakes.Buy more english movies,get teachers that have the NCE certificate or the BSC  English education,they are natural teachers that know how to deliver it since they were trainned to teach.You have to sum it up and think very well.Goodluck

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Send two of them to me for examine. i need to help u do some investigation. and they we stay with me for 2weeks.

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Please pray hard for God to show you the right woman.

My Human advise will be Miss B and hope she is not deceiving you. Marriage does not change people. For Miss A she will be like that for the rest of her life and mind you, you said she is ok when she is ate her best. You must be able to live with a person even at her worst not only at the best.

And if i should ask you which one out of the two can you (is wort dying) die for?

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Atimes in life you find yourself in a situation you never bargained for. The period I met Miss B was when Miss A went on AWOL.

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You are one that has to live with your choice, why ask faceless names to help you choose a life partner?

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Go down on ur kneels & Pray,God Will Open ur eyez to see things u can't see ordinarily,But in all,ask urself what actually u  really want in a wife,do u want some one to yield to whatever u say or some one that can put up a resistance to some of ur decisions,do u want a wife you can order around or a wife partner whom jointly you can reach agreement? u have pretty lots of home work to do urself cos marriage ain't friendship Dude!!! Gudluck

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Poster, in my on way i will advice you to go for Miss B as you called her, even if she is not educated you can Educate her, you can train her to any level you want there is no exert age for Education, am sure she will learn with time that is if she is willing to learn, and she will make a good wife, like you said she is respectful, and caring that is one of the qualities a good wife should have cos if a woman does not respect her husband there will be no peace and love in the home, as for your Miss A just let her go cos if you get married to her tomorrow she will not respect you and probably if things goes wrong for you tomorrow financially you will probably become her hand bag you understand what i mean. she will maltreat you and she will want you to be the woman why she become the man which will bring problem in the home, and that's why a lot of home today are breaking up cos of rushing into marriage with out looking from right to left and marry ladies like this, am a young girl although not yet married still in school but with experience i can tell you that MISS A is not good for you, i have an uncle who is going through such now he got married to such kind of lady and now he is suffering it when he was being advices he didn't heed to the advice given to him, so Dear think well and follow your heart think of your family your brothers and how you are going to cope knowing you have a lady you can not compact with at home. GOOD LUCK AND DON'T FORGET TO PRAY FOR GOD'S GUIDANCE, DIRECTION AND UNDERSTANDING.

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take the 2 of em,

why shud u be datin 2 ladies @ d same tyme in the 1st place

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Al depends on which one U can live with more comfortably. Career women are not so easily impressed and it is good that a man in his natural elements be found impressive by the woman he calls his own.

If I were in ur shoes, I think I'd go for the not so presentable one. She can always be polished. It's a very good sign when a girl laughs a lot around a guy. If Ur that guy, then U myt have it made.

There's no telling who will change for good better or worse. Te career babe myt turn out to find joys in being a woman and a wife and the other one myt just turn out to be more ambitious than U know it.

What women say is not as strong a thing to go by. What they respond to is.

Check Urself and check them too. Who knows, myt not be either of them sef.

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Then U should have been honorable to have waited a lil longer for Miss A or told her U weren't available no more when she returned.

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So you believe in a woman serving a man,are they slaves,woteva happens to equality?

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