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We Love Ourselves Dearly But Our Parents Does Nt Support Us?

I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.

Her parents said NO beacuse

1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal

2. She's Anambra and am Abia

3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.

ON MY OWN PART

My parents said no because

1. She is Anambra

2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)

3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

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32 answers

Easier said than done, all advises is very sweet to the ear, but very hard to implement. Finally Na God.

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@ Poster,

All the excuses given by both parents doesnt hold water. These should not disturb your union. however, parent blessings during marriage is very important. I wont say you should dump the lady neither will i tell you to continue with the wedding without the consent of your parents. My advise is that you pray that God touches your parents so that they can support you

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Under no circumstance should one get married without either party's parents consent. , but saying 25 is too young, is really off it.

Just keep praying, it will stand the test of time if it was meant to be.

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@ Poster, welcome to our world

We have exactly the same problem with you. Infact a frd read it and called askin if i posted it. I am also in the same dilemma, the only diff is that we've been datin for ova One year now.

@Nairalanders, thank u, i took the advice of convincing my mum, Guess wat it worked. i sat her down and we discussed for ova 2hrs, infact i was shocked when my gf called me that my mom called her yesterday, to wish her a happy bday!!

But the question is wats d next step, as my dad and her parents are not showin any sign of changin their minds?

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For Igwe,

I can believe what you have said. Getting her pregnant is the way to go. That way the couple can still get married and their parents should shut the hell up and live their own lives.

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why can our parents alow us live our lifes?you are the 1 geting married not your parents.

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@ kaecey,

[quote][/quote]

How did your parents die? You sound as if you were responsible for their deaths!!!!!

@ osilekan4u,

I suggest you should still relax a bit. You are still quite young and have a lot to learn in the ocean of life before making a final decision. Who knows, there are things that both ur parents have seen that you can not perceive for now.

Give it more time and pray, if you are for each other, the marriage will happen in God's time!!!

cheers

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U JST HAVE TO LISTEN TO UR PARENT

DAT IS JST I CAN SA FOR NOW,

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hi mr, if u'ld permit me to say this. Truly, i can see u're desperately in LOve with ur girl, but i'ld suggest u give it a liittle more time and by so doing u are indirectly harkening to both parents. Aside that, you are 25yrs old and you aren't growing any younger, all i'ld jst advice is that u luk at u're achieves, financial status, mental and psychological maturity, before jumping into this highest institution "MARRIAGE", and as well get to knw more about your to be WIFEY, and her family so as to avoid any eternal scandal for urself.IF truly she's for you she'll definitely not pass you by. i'm not really supporting both parents on their decision cause somehow in ages past they met, loved each othere, and became married. well, think twice before you venture into it and as wel take it to GOD in prayers.

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Give or take it's your decision to pacify (not pressurise) your parents into seeing how much you two love each other and that your love is greater than the sendintement along the divides of religion/tribalism .

Besides dude, ask yourself are you psychologically ready for marriage life. Forget the fact that you have the money to burn a wedding day (which is merely a symbolic occasion imo) what you should be asking yourself on the on the other hand is "Have I got the werewithal to painstakingly carry through the marriage". Do not allow the rush of hormones down your veins push you into taking hasty decision. Forget about the fact that you two love each other, if you truly do use the next one 1 or 2 to sort things out with parents on both sides (which I see as part of the needed plaNning stage). I honestly think being able to sort this out will make you a better person and you would have psychologically and emotionally become a matured man to deal with other life experiences except of course you two have other agenda in wanting to rush into marriage.

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but seriously sometimes its damn hard to understand. What difference does it make if she is from anambra or abia or right from another planet?

She is human, God fearing and you love her. Those are very important factors.

Parents blessing are very important but sometimes, you just have to make them see your views.

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only few av managed to talk sense others are talking trash

@poster before you started dating her dont u knw what ur parents advice is like concerning marriage,like marrying from another dominion or state?

As a pastor's son u r suppose to marry a girl that av the same faith with you

coming to think of that CATHOLIC AND PENTECOSTAL are christians but we all know that the faiths are diff so guy RETHINK

THIS IS ALSO THE REASON WHY SOME FAMILIES ARE DIVIDED MAYBE U WILL BE GOING TO PENTECOSTAL UR WIFE CATHOLIC AND THE CHILDREN HINDU. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE

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"She's Anambra and am Abia"

I can understand the religion side but what does this have to do with anything??

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Parents of nowadays self. They always want to have their own input in everything their ward(s) engage in.

I don't know how to say this, but, may be u shd impregnate the lady and threaten the you'd abscond and they'll never see ur brake light!

Its always gonna end this way anyways, i mean if u're hell bent on marrying her and ur parents keep saying no, absconding is the only feasible option (besides suicide)!

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i ahve heard about the anambra/abia thing,

i also hear that anambras' dont like wedding

imos' oe any other tribe, well dude for this

to happen means you have not done your

homework, there are many ways you can

get her parents consent (your parents dont

have much issue), ITS UP TO YOU. BRO

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chill guy,you are young at ur age to involve urself in inter family conflicts.this is the best moment of ur life,25 with a good job,then why do you want to attract unneccessary wahala into ur life.if you love the girl dearly continue the relationship but dnt impregnate her oh!,if you do,it may cause untold disaster in both family.pray to God for headway i'm sure you will have a reason to praise the lord in a no distance future.

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@ skenki

i'm sure u didn't read the part that says she comes from a very rich family,

that's why u r sayin she might be pressurising him.

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i understand how u feel at this point cause am actually going through the same thing at the moment.My advice to you is that you should focus on building your career, do not rush into marriage you are quite young and i know that your mind is not yet made up because if it was, you will not be seeking for any advice because you have a firm grasp on what you want.

take time to also nurture your relationship and do not bow to any unnecessary pressure especially from your girl, of course with your job as a banker you are a potential catch for any lady and she will never want to lose all the benefits she stands to gain by staying with you.

so take time(like a year or two) to plan, mature psychologically and grow up, am sure by then you have straightened out your priorities and you will be sure of what you want out of life. do remember that prayer will always be the master key to opening any locked door GOD indeed is able.

bottom line:- pregnancy is not the answer because in the long run you might both might not be happy.

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I had to watch my sister go through the exact same thing three times consecutively; not from my parents but from her exs parents who were all from Anambra. After her experiences, we all in my family decided to stay away from people from Anambra just to avoid being heart broken.

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@poster

i sure feel ur pain, i am in similar situation, dating for 4 years

i have been able to conquer my parents opposition (cos they r both dead)

but her father is saying hell no reason i am from IMO state and she is from Abia

i wonder why RACISM-TRIBALISM among same ibo tribe it really kills me

solution

given the father up to next june to make up his mind if not court marriage is the option

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Well my brother, marrigae is not friendship.

You are still a young man, i must advice you to take your time out

talk to your parents while your woman does as well.

Give them reasons that they will need to know,

the blessings of the parents in marriage is very, very crucial

Hope you marry the woman of your heart.

Good luck

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You are a grown Bottom man. Why should your parents hinder your happiness. If it was over some other thing i would have said yeah well maybe they have a point but "Church".

I mean what the f is dat. Is it not the same Jesus Christ that you all worship. I bet they would assassinate your girlfriend if she ever were to be muslim.

Why should they determine what you guys want.  If "YOU" decide "YOU" want to go to "HELL" and would rather marry a pagan, it is your choice and not your parents.

They won't be here in like 60yrs time when you have to deal with the so-called wife that they want you to marry.

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Well i was in a worse situation, i am a Muslim and Yoruba, she's Ibo and christian/catholic they said no at first, but then i went to her father begged him to give me just five minutes to talk to him. i started with the fact that a whole lots of young men just wanted to sleep with the girls and run, but i am here to marry your daughter. I said i love her and i promised with my life i will treat his daughter well and protect her and that i will not allow my family to treat her badly cus she's not one of us(their perception). he said no but i have sown a seed, i worked on the mother bought wrapper(ofcourse she can afford them) and generally call her like she's my girlfriend asking about this and that and everyone then asking to talk to daddy on the phone if he was in in the sitting room. I got the aunties that i know my wife know we be the trouble shooter and worked on them, visits and invitations to my own family things. With God's support they said yes. But for religion when they ask if i would convert i didnt lie AND I WAS NICE ABOUT IT, i said i am a man and i wont but i wont prevent their daughter from her religion, but she's a muslim now no problems two children. Just pray to God and take it as an assignment and be patient.

NEVER FORGET THAT ALL WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS TO PROTECT YOU, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT THEY THINK

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Ir;s so funny to me by the way her parent and yours were doing. They are supposed to base on love not religion and tribe and riches.

What of if she should marry another person that just love to have her money and doesn't love her?.

Concerning your age, what I know is once you are over 20 yrs then you are free to do whatever you want to do, as I am, am 23 and if I want to marry this year or next year no one can stop me cos am matured enough to handle marriage relationship.

So your age doesn't matter at all unless if your parent knew that you haven't matured for marriage issue.

Gear up.

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Try harder in convincing your parents; using reasoning and superior argument, maybe they would tell you something you don't know, which might have been the reason behind their decision, then you can take it up from there . . . . .Most times our parents know what we don't know, and they will only tell us when they see and feel how serious and insistent we are . . . Work more on your mom, mothers are usually more flexible, once you have her on you side, uhuru is at sight!

Guy don't EVER marry without your parent's blessings . . . . THIS IS AFRICA

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Shait happens but it takes only God's BLESSINGS and MERCIES for a marriage to WORK.

@poster: Believe me, I know its not an easy decision but continue to talk to your parents. One of them will soften his/her stand. Either your dad or mum. We have seen it before. Good luck.

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@poster: Don't listen to what most people are saying here.What I would advice you is this: At 25, you are still a young man, working in a bank for 2yrs and so what? What you need to do is this, listen to your parents complains and do everything possible you can to convince them you are up to the task and that you could handle the situation.Even if it takes you and ur girl another 2 years that is what you should,,if both of are truly in love, I see no reason why you both can't wait another 2yrs.If you get married with ur parents blessings you are gonna live a miserable life all through ur marriage.Check other threads this topic have been treated several times on Romance and family sections.

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na wah oh

what has being a catholic or pentecostal got to do with you guys getting married,

are the Catholics and pentecostals not serving the same God?

it would have even been understandable if one of you is a muslim, but dat's not the case so i think dats a genuine reason why they should stop your marriage,

I think your dad should know better than that as a pastor that a wedding should take place at the girls church cos that's where you're marrying her from.

and lastly you guys are both igbo so what's the issue of Abia and Anambra, don't quite understand that.

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@ Osilekan4u:

No disrespect to you, or your parents (on both sides).

But, I feel this is something you ought to deal with as a man, without asking the opinions of a public forum.

Still, you've asked now, and have had varying responses.

But the general consensus of opinion of all respondents so far (including mine) are you do what you feel's best for you and your lady.

I wouldn't go as far as openly defying your parents though, try talking to them, and get your lady to do the same, you may just sway their opinions, if they see you're both determined.

I wish you both the best of luck though.

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i understand that it is not easy dealing with our parents when it comes to tribalisim and racisim or even religious differences.

As far your parents are concerned you have no problem because with your father being a pastor you just have to research the bible and remind him of what Jesus said and he will break down. Because being catholic or protestant or being from Anambra or whereever else doesn't mean Jesus doesn't love you.

As far as her parents go after you win over your father you will need his help in appealing to her family. Let your dad the pastor help them remember that God loves us all and as far as you two kids are happy, that should be the most important thing. Also your father can preside over a small ceremony for the two of you but you know a wedding day is really for the bride so go with her flow of being in the catholic church.

I wish you luck and may god suften the minds of our ignorant parents.

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Ur parent and her's shld get alife. what they shld be concern abt is whether u love each other NOT religion and tribal issues, what has that got to do with love? RUN away with her and get married and just keep off from those self-centered individuals

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Who give a shi.t about religious differences when two people are in love? Your parents and her parents should hang their heads in shame in my opinion! This is 2009, people need to get a flipping grip.

Dude, if you have the resources, do the marriage without their blessing. Nothing will happen to you.

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