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What Am I To Do?

Quite long i apologise.

My best friend is a man, I have known in all my life, right from Nigeria. We stayed in the same neighbourhood, went to the same university and even work in the same place but different floors. My family are so use to him that you might be forgiven for thinking he is one of us.

Problem is my man is not comfortable with him at all, which is causing friction between both of us (there was this time when my man went on and on and on about how I am cheating on him because I kiss my best friend on the lips to say hello & goodbye, and other little things like that. . . he is gay by the way)

I have done my best to try and make then friends or at least be civil with each other but all to no avail, I have tried barbecue, organised day out, even season tickets it just isn’t working.

My best friend is willing to be friends or at least civil with him but my man isn’t. I feel he is a bit homophobic even though he denies it.

I love both of them very much albeit in different ways and it really hurt when they cannot at least be civil with each other. We are now at the point where they avoid each other at all cause. E.g. my best friend didn’t come for my mum’s birthday just because Christian was going to be there.

To be honest it has been going on for a couple of years and I sort off overlooked it but since things are getting very serious between me and Christian I will like to nip it in the bud once and for all. What am I do? Any helpful suggestion on how can they be friends or at least comfortable in each others present will be appreciated thanks.

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8 answers

@ poster!

Please firstly put yourself in your mans shoes (and objectively/honestly think about how it will look and feel). You have already decided you wanna marry your guy, so tell me how will this 'closeness' between you and your 'gay friend' still operate once married? Your newly found husband should really be your 'true' best friend. And I think you should ask yourself how many people are in the relationship, cos the last time I checked 3's a crowd. No one is saying stop the friendship, but stop kissing you 'gay friend' and keep the friendship an actual 'friendship'.

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@Poster,

Oftentimes,guys feel threatened by their lady's male friend.I am sure your guy didnt develop this hatred for your friend from the beginning of your relationship,Your actions might have prompted it so I'll advise you give your man some attention/reassurance he deserves,your friend should understand if he is really a friend.

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Well 4 sure one is got to GO,sad your Hubby is mking u pick sum1.

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@poster, maybe a party among you, your husband and your so-called gay friend will settle your confused soul!

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Ur best friend is a man,i cant take that if i were ur husband,u even kiss in public places.It is better you reduce your closeness with ur so called friend(Boyfriend or man friend) if u really need ur man or marriage.Who knows wether u guys are even,

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i just tire for some pple sha.

threadstarter is simply full of sh1t.

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@poster, methinks you're bleeped up and sound like a bi-sexual.Thought you said your friend's gay?Must you kiss him on the lips to say buh bye?How can you kiss a man on the lips for whatever reason and expect your hubby to be glad 'bout it?Turn the table around for a coupla minutes in your head.How would you feel if your husband kisses a lady friend of his on the lips and you're there looking on?It sucks to think you're even trying to bring the two of them together.Well, maybe when you eventually succeed in making them friends you can experiment with the two at the same time, right?What you're to do?Either leave you husband for your friend or call it quits with your friend if you really love your husband and cherish your marriage.Remember, what goes 'round comes 'round.Don't be surprised if your husband gets even with you by giving what he gives you to another woman, okay?

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