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What Could Be The Reason?

As some people know, when I came to NL, I started with my relationship issue, this is a continuation of what I am presently experiencing, and I need yall help/advise on this. As formerly speculated, my girlfriend resumed FUTO as a jambite, 2 weeks after her resumption, she started acting somehow, I laid out the thread on NL here, and some posts were helpful.

To cut the story short, things were stabilized between us, communication was opened and we found it hard to miss each other, then later on, she started changing, no calls no txt, its only when she needs stuff like airtime is when she calls. Its been almost 2 weeks now that we last spoke or exchanged text, before then, she requested for an Ipod as her bday gift, her calls was constant during this time. It took me like 5 days before I actually decide to send her the Ipod, soon as she got it, she stopped calling, I sent her a txt and was expecting a response, bt she didnt.`So ever since then, I had to let her be, neither of us has contacted each other ever since then.

All am trying to ask yall is, since this gurl was not a demanding type when she was back here in Lagos, a committed and convincingly loving gurl. Is it that she has now found another guy and has made me a new MUGU_CLIENT@KEEPONPAYING.BIZ? Or is it just the normal ego placed on her head that might make her feel "oh well just because he has bought me an ipod and other stuffs does not mean I should be the one to keep seeking his attention, instead he should be the one, My pple I just dnt know what to think anymore, cos am still in love with this shawty.

Please best advise/insight needed. Thanks in advance

EYO!

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91 answers

chinekeme!! She has started calling again ooo!!! I aint picking up, n she wnt stop, had to switch off ma fone.

I just wonder wat I hv gotten myself into.

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Who tell u sey she no want me? U no even know wetin dey , u dey burn mouth gas dey go. Khanye wetin dey?

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oga free the babe, it's no use trying to be with a babe that doesn't want you.

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If thats true that another guy is firing her, then it would be a very bad thing, cos using Born again and the use of Holy Ghost is detrimental to her life while she is still fornicating. This life self.

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Forget the babe and look for another girl.She has gotten another bloke firing her on all cylinders.

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I will do just that. I was asking you if u knew her in person so I could trail her. I like her, but with no strings attached. Anyway I am on the verge of changing, but I will surely hit back on those who hit me uneccesarily.

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Why are you asking me whether I know iice in person? The most important thing you need to know is that she is a responsible lady and highly principled. You have been to her thread that had been running for almost two years, did you see where she ever attack anyone, or use dirty languages?

Man, I needn't tell you much. If I have not known you a little bit, I won't have bothered. No doubt, undesirable elements are on the forum. Don't be surprise when you find that someone you thought as a nobody is actually a respected member of the society. Be friend with all. Learn to show restraint. Know when to stop wicked joke. Be yourself and play safe. Ko ju be lo!

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U'll hear more from me, I am not done with Ifeoma yet. Do you know iice in person? Ibk whats up with u, u seem never to respond back to me when I quote u attimes, ur good huh?

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Why do you love "smallies?"

Anyway, whatever decision you make, ensure that they are not meant to revenge. I don't want to pass judgement on that girl until I hear her side of story. For now, enjoy yourself!

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@eyo,

First of all, I want you to know that iice is a wonderful lady who have never (to the best of my knowledge) insult anyone directly. Yes, she is a no nonsense lady but very, very slow to anger. I know her well and therefore strongly believe you must have said something wrong. But, she may not be the one that banned you.

@topic,

I should ask you what do you want from the girl. The girl is already showing you that she is immature and you are trying to join her. Isn't it time for you to take control of your life and decide once and for all what you want rather than allowing a teenager to run you like that?

Go back to my earlier post and read how to place a stop loss order.

The girl obviously want you. But the two of you must stop playing chicken game. If she won't stop, the look elsewhere and stop being played like football.

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Well thats the problem, I dnt know what she wants, and I am tired of getting to reach a conclusion.

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Men, in times like dis u ve' 2 b sure wat d person want b4 draw'n conclusion dat is d best tin to do ok.

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topup,lanajim, Sorry to say, I dnt know what this gurl wants from me ooo, she has again called, she says have I given myself up yet for the Holy Ghost, I was like it has been given up already, then she began to demonize me again saying all of sort of things. I hung up on her, do I just tell her to leave me tha 4k alone, or is she just tryna get back to me with the issue of this preaching technique abi na wetin? Me don tire oo!!

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It's obvious that you shouldn't have called her names. Not just because she's a mod but because it's against the rules. Yeah, Nairaland is addictive, and frustrating at the same time because I think everything's been discussed already and the topics are getting quite dry, but I still have hope.

Maybe stay away from heated discussions on Nairaland for the time being & possibly even women,

Focus on eyo.

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czarskit, thank u o jare, there is no need to beg the coward who banned me and claiming she aint, I want to fashi NAIRALAND for good, the ban could do a big help, bt this shyt is highly addictive, even more than my highgrade skunk.

I need to rehabilitate asap!!

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~ Deji who banned U! ! ! ~ Tell me quick quick. . .make I 4 help u beg the person ~

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topup, I have been banned, so im using propheyo for now, I screwed up calling iice a dirty name.

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@ topup

you almost make me cry with your reply, you are brilliant.[color=#006600][/color]

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@ topup

you almost make me cry with your reply, you are brilliant.

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it is not about showcasing the looks, bt to let the hater;s know how a perfect match we were in order for me to have fallen in love. I wont post it.

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Eyo, dont post any picture o. You will hurt your gal!

See u later.

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I think, you have to be careful dealing with pretty girls. Seriously, she's not oblivious that she can get away with that much more. I think what eyo has to do is to be different to the other guys. If she is as beautiful as you say, you have to realise maybe drooling over her like the other guys won't make you stand out, that is why she stood to attention when you didn't do as she said, saying you couldn't see her and you would try your best to see her but can't say for definite. Pretty girls aren't used to rejection. I am not saying you should act as if you're not interested in her, because I too think that she'll be back, BUT I think that you should at least let her know that the world does not revolve around her.

It's funny how you told her that she's not as good looking as she was before, especially when you're here telling us that she is gorgeous. I hope in a way she doesn't know you still deeply care, it'll give her time to truly analyse her relationship with you.

Would you really be happy if she only returned to you by default, and not by choice, through not being able to enter into school, she could return to you, but who says that when another opportunity rears its head, she won't forget you like she's done before??

It seems like you really love her, because you honestly want her to come back (hopefully not for ego) - but for love.

Take care & all the best - as usual I always have so much to say about your issue, but have to stop myself from over analysing the situation.

Can't wait to hear from you, when you tell us that you're back together & stronger than ever.

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I no send this dudes wey dey yab nigger_eyo, na them be the maIN sisi's, in fact as I gangster reach, her love make me melo. Topup and lanajim I appreciate u guyz, the way am seeing thigs, my gurl is gonna come back to me though it might take sometime. Funny enough I found out that day that she came to write jamb, meaning her admission in FUTO did not go through, so I think she is going to be around for a while now.

Again, u guys yabbing me, if una see this chik, una go fall in love, apart from her beauty, she is funny and down to earth, na school just 4k the whole thing up. Tops n lanajim, should I post a pic of mine and her's so them haterz could see what a perfect match we are? Or should I jst bone it? Lol

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I do not like the way some people mock others when there appear to be a kind of short-coming,

the same people will have their own problem and hit it away from the world. It take courage for someone to come to public and discuss his or her life,

I am of view the the relationship eyo was talking about is not yet over, it MAY come back stronger and it may not. The truth is that, anything can happen, depending on how it is handled,

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There's no shame in following your heart, but you have to be smart, he's asking for advice, that's why he's here, he's acknowledged that things have to stop & change, he's just asking for advice on how to go about bringing on that change. Sheeesh!!

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You don't need to post her picture. I think that's distracting from the point. Are we more concerned about looks or personality??

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Mugu don pay shout hallelujah, kere ke kere ke. 17 year old dey make you kolo like this? You no dey shame?

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@eyonigger,

You are one lovey-dovey nigga. Come on, f**k all these bitches and do your thing.

Even a 17 yr old ignorant chick is pulling your strings and you falling for that?

This is crass stupidity and too gross for my liking. Stop acting like a Kitty-Cat nigga.

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what is her number - lemme try talking to her , i can check if she is born again ,

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Mr Eyo,

if what you said are true, then, I can tell you that you are the one who is wrong! I am sorry to say this. You are acting more like a kid than adult. I like to be honest with people. It doesn't matter whether it sound nice or not.

Recall what I told you on fb? You didn't get in touch afterward because you are excited at her return. The result is that she may return without you getting the answer you are seeking!

Let me remind you that your motive of opening this thread include:

to know the reason she started withdrawing from you. The reason she changed toward you. And the reason she still collect your gifts in spite of her withdrawal. And you also want to know whether she is into someone else down there or she is just playing game.

Take a look at what you have done in the past few days and ask yourself whether you have got exact (not gessimate) answer to your questions.

Let me explain something to you. At 17, a child can be bright and mature in the manner he/she communicate, but he/she is still a child. Once a while, the child in that person will manifest. That is what is wrong with your girl.

Secondly, anyone who have passed through radical change of faith will tell you that the first phase are often accompanied with fighting desires and battling what look like obstacle to the growth of their faith. I went through that stage and I know a lot of people did.

If she was converted to born again and she demonize you, while wanting you to join in her faith, then she is doing what many underaged new converts do.

You are wrong to think that since she use occasional bad words, she isn't a convert. As a new convert, she will be battling her past and people that are obstacle to developing her faith. To know whether she was lying or not will only happen when you listen to her and let her do the talking.

I think she still want you. But since you are not ready for her craps, the best is to let her go. Tell her it is over. Better part in peace than live in agony!

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lol, this is one bleeped up tale! lol

dude u shld ave done her right there in the car one last time, at least uv already paid 4 it with the ipod, may be a promise to buy the car wld have done it, she really deserved one last hard,rough and wild nailing in that car, for making such an outrageous request.

guy u Bleep up

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Tops, u know one can only use an appropriate drug for the appropriate illness, what I used against her is just what she needs, believe me.

I went last night, it was gonna be a 20 minutes visit so that I cud join up to watch my Barca Match, bt I ended up staying almost an hour. I asked her about her sudden transformation and the reply she gave me seems lyk she aint the one at fault.

She reminded me of the day she called me to preach about JESUS CHRIST, that I hung up on her, yea I did because she was trying to make me feel like a devil and she kinda lyk preached in a very unchristian like manner, and she also stated that I broke up with her when she was in school, hell yea I did bt I thought our make up was automatic since it has always been like that before, and my break up with her then was of a valid reason.

To cut the long story short, she said she only asked me to come so she cud tell me about JESUS, bt at the same time she was using profane language,cursing out @ me, I told her straight that I dnt know what she is trying to pull with this born again of a thingy since I can't even see any sign of a born again xtian in her,she slapped me, I left her, and then she bit me and scratched my hand with her nail, then I cud not take it then gave her a hot slap, she pounced on me and started to beat tha mess outta me, I had to take it like a gentleman, then when she got tired, she rested on my arm and I pampered her. Then later one we started having religious argument which led to defining how we live Christianity, her view was different, and mine was different, it was then I knew we just have to let go of each other, I told her its better she goes her own way and I go mine, she didnt say anything, then she said I should buy her a car, I laughed and just didnt understand her anymore. Her mum later called her to come home, then she said "till when", I said we'll see in heaven cos I told u I wont be seeing u anymore. Oh well it didnt work out, to me oooo, she is nt what she claims to have converted to, besides she has got some1 loving her, so I wonder what she still wants from me?

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Hmmm, maybe you have some feelings for her, maybe you're not in love with her anymore but she definitely still pulls some of your strings from the fact that you were very quick to call her immediately after seeing her on the street.

I have to warn you not to stoop to her level, it's not your job to lower her ego, she did a good job of lowering her pride by watching you despite walking away before. I don't think you should be calling her names or trying to make her feel worthless or below you, because it's not a nice thing to do, though I guess it may be the truth, and it may come as a shock. I think maybe if you felt you wanted to tell her something that will shock her, you could just say she's not the most amazing girl you've seen or in town, stuff that IS true, stuff that will bring her back to hurt. The whole telling her she looks worse than she was before probably won't make an impact because you're still there talking to her and giving her the attention she may want. Right now I don't know what's going on with her, but I know she's probably slightly confused herself, and playing games too.

So, you went to go and see her tonight, I wonder how that went, I hope you maintained your stance, I hope you kept in mind why you are talking to her, and it seems you want her back (since you're seeing if things can work out or not). There's nothing wrong with wanting her back aside from the fact that maybe it won't contribute positively to your relationship.

I hope tonight, you told her bluntly what she was doing and how it impacted you. I hope you did yourself some justice and told her, you won't accept such behaviour as you deserve better, believe you deserve better. I hope she spoke honestly, but if she didn't I hope you picked it up, honesty is exactly what you two need in this relationship, I don't want you coming back to tell us that she is at it again, at her old games.

Anyways, all the best.

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clones I am noy after the sex, even though i go like yansh am. topup, guess wat?? She called me yesterday asking if I was gonna be able to come see her cos she is truly leaving tmr (sunday). I agreed coming over around 4pm, bt I was riding down the other street around 2pm, then suddenly saw her, she just walked away saying " Deji I am not looking ok" I called her bt she was quick to walk off, then looked back at me after some few steps away.

I called her ryt away, chanting to her on phone saying " You are so bleeped, you cnt wait to talk to me, tot ur part of going to school was for exposure so u cud stop being shy" cos she is a really shy girl. I tried to again lower her ego by what she does not like to hear, saying she is not as fine as before, her voice trotted as she was telling me how tired she was, n claiming that was the reason for her unusual look. Now today Saturday, I am gonna go see her 2nyt, bt wont feel shyt cos I aint even feel shyt for her nemore, bt still gonna see if things can still work out or not

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I think I agree on what eyo said regarding her using born again as an excuse. I read part of his post stating that he bought her an ipod, there is every possibility that her friends in school must have given her such advise, cos for the fact that someone in lagos sent someone in owerri an Ipod, they'll probably feel the guy eyo is a mugu, which I think he is not. Girls use this as a form of protection in order to hold a guy down for as long as they want, because they know sex wont be involved or any other form of romancing.

The girl sure knows what she is doing, eyo dnt fall for that crap, she wants to keep you on hold, so you can supply her everything she needs, cos she knows if she gives u sex, u might run away, I am 100% sure her friend have told her that, she might not have had such thought cos she is young, but am quite sure her friends will.

@ your recent post, go and see the chick and read her reactions from the question you speculated yu'll throw at her. I feel your pain, cos am almost in the same category you are in. cheers!!

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Hmmm tis been awhile, though. Those familiar with my fb page must have noticed I on restorative mission. I am clearing "spider" that are creating cobwebs that impede my personal efficiency. I have a rule to the maximum number of topics I will read on nairaland. So, I don't even follow event here as before as a result of diminishing quality of threads.

@topup,

I have no question. It isn't about the girl anymore. It is about the guy. I know how to get my concern across to him.

@eyo,

I quite disagree with you about your stance regarding her being a born again. You are very wrong to think bnrn again are not supposed to be in a relationship. You are also wrong to imagine that she is using beinh Born Again as an excuse. You may not understand, but remember the last post I made on this thread was to laugh. I knew why I did. And I am still laughing!

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topup, ryt now am on the verge of trying to make her know am not much into her, as in giving her a long thing, she bugged me throughout yesterday saying I shud come n see her,bt I kept saying im still on da island, n wud come see her when Im free.

I'll try maybe later today to go, and if I should then the case would be me wanting her to regret her actions, trying to read her reactions based on the questions am gonna be throwing, then I'll finally decide if to fade her off my life, or just maintain a relationship with a guarded stance jst like u speculated.

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reads thread and first word that comes to mind gbewudani

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Nlander's, former contributors with sensible comments and newbies to be, I hereby call on your attentions, my gurl is back from school( with no notification though). She actually sent me a txt yesterday after a long time, speaking in Igbo language, the only line I understood was " kedu" which is like " hello" or whatever sort of greeting that cud be, then today she called saying, " good news", I was like what is that, she said she is back, eyo was like oh ok,.welcome back, she woz like am I gonna come visit her tonight, eyo be like Hhmmmmm Im not sure cos I have been on Victoria Island since tha past one month trying to chill out from Maryland, n then she woz lyk I have to make sure that I come today, me woz like I dnt think im gonna be able to make it, gurl goez well if u dnt come today day I wont be able to see her for a long time, coz she will be returning back tmr for the next semester, then eyo was like me gon see u whenever u come back no matter how long, then boo goez like she is never coming back to lagos, eyonigger then goez, babez its not too bad if we see in the next life, gurly says she was joking that she gon be leaving in a week, then eyo calmed down and said me gon try to see u on friday if I got the chance, then chik woz like get something edible when ur coming, eyo then says u mean my dick? She was like dnt say such, remember am a born again, then I hung up acting assive it was network probs.

People am sorry if una think sey eyo don come again with this chick matter, I know sey pple wey don dey inside this kind movie go share views with me and pple wey dey feel me from the beginining of my first thread on NL which was about this shawty. Should I go and see this chick and talk about what tha heck was up with her regarding her behaviour? Or should I just bone her side finally cos having to tell me sey I should get something edible while coming is just one big turn off to me at this moment.

Yall brotherly/sisterly views/insight is welcomed.

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eyo,

ave been in ur shoes,d rite advice is forget d girl.dnt call her or send her txt-let her be.

dnt snd her anythin-if she calls u-even if she wants to talk make it snappy.

she will never value u if u keep being too available at her beck n call.

i am tellin u cos i hav been a victim b4.

be wise man!

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Dude am loving with my head not with my heart, and the damn Dam knows it. Anyway there's still the secret am keeping inside, that if i make it known on Nairaland here, they'll pounce on me.

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Old boy, in as much as I want to feel sorry for you in this position, I can't help but laugh. You put yourself in this mess. I guess it's true that love is irrational. You are conscious and fully aware of the fact that this girl is behaving like a nuisance, yet you are rewarding her bad behavior with gifts. How do you expect her to fully realize her mistakes or even feel remorseful about them if you keep treating her like a royal queen? Mind you, I think it's safe to say that you are her "mugu" or "golugo" or whatever other name is used these days. When they say "the boy is good" remember that APA lo nje be. Think twice and think fast. Love with your head, don't be a fool.

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My men, appreciation to u all, thats exactly what am doing, I aint got time to waste, even though I have wasted a lil time on her, she deserves that short time attention, she is sweet. Una too gbaski my men on here.!!

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Top up, ur making a good point here, I was actually the one in charge of the relationship when she was around, not until the left for school then she kinda like took over. Ever since that 2 weeks no contact/ communication, I have lost feelings and I dnt miss her anymore, I mean as of now. You pulled out a point which is true (Being attached to such a person can lead to you doing a lot of things that jeopardise your chances of finding a woman who will truly appreciate you.) I am actually seeing some1 else who I see as a very caring and attention giving girl, and I kinda like treat her like she dnt really mean something to me, that is just because of what my gurl has got me into, although this new relationship isnt more than a month, because this gurls, who knows, they might start acting submissive then later acting up, the same thing happened to my gurl in school.

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Yes, and it's making you unhappy, the relationship is favoured in her direction and you're not benefitting.

I hate to give people false hope, but another way of looking at this is to make her see your worth, as a great catch.

If you two take time apart, and you actually don't contact her despite her initiating the ignoring, she will notice that she no longer pulls your heart strings (even if that is the case - don't let her know that). This way she will be able to evaluate whether you are worth holding onto or not. If she tries to contact you, you can rest assure that to her you are worth keeping around - for what reasons I cannot say.

In the time you are apart, you can think, and maybe get over this attachment. Being attached to such a person can lead to you doing a lot of things that jeopardise your chances of finding a woman who will truly appreciate you.

Why waste time with her, you are not one of her priorities, whatever she's getting from you is.

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topup, I just dnt know what to say, I dnt treat her the way she treats me, ignore is just one major problem that occurs, and she always start it.

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Seems to me like you're making yourself suffer.

Someone who loves you, should not cause you so much pain, especially when you've already made it clear that you don't like her ignoring you.

I think you two need to talk, I think stop contacting her for a good while (if she is coming back to Lagos soon - this is perfect timing).

Ignore her and don't wait until she calls you, take control of your life, you don't need to be tied down to any person right now, you can still get away, there are no children, no in laws and all the warning signs are there that this is not a healthy relationship.

Though, we do not know this girl, we know that she is very smart and mature, sometimes people change, and we may not be able to believe that they have but let me tell you; "Actions speak LOUDER than words."

Would you honestly treat her the way she treats you, if you did, what would be the reason, dislike - no more romance or affection?? You'll find your answer as soon as you start being honest with yourself.

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yea i gat ur drift. Pat who u dey talk to, u this agbero.

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@poster

if she talk say she don be born again, then you go make am born again again

hope you get my drift

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poster

luv should b a 50-50, or minimum 60-40. learn to treath her like she does to u. perhaps she feels u ar suffocating her;get close to other ladies around, go have fun wit bigger chicks and make sure d gist gets to her.get a life man and dont kill urself over a campus chick who is right now enjoying all d attention in the world

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